Inside my brain
Inside my brain are pitch black bits,
They cause me to forget.
I got them many years ago,
Do I hate them? You bet!
All sorts of things can fall in there,
And are never seen again.
I cannot count all of the things
That got lost in my brain.
I always lose the names of folks
That I don’t know that well.
This terrible forgetfulness
Is like a living Hell!
I try and try to remember stuff,
But most just fly away.
I don’t know just what month it is,
And cannot name the day.
I do not like this trend of mine,
It hurts me to the bone.
I might get more forgetful
And forget my Home Sweet Home!
My heart is full of Bipolar Regret,
But thank the Lord, I ain’t dead yet!
I still recall the day we met,
I’m glad you’re in my life.
My manic highs meant no more sleep,
I know I acted like a creep,
I gave away what I could not keep,
It pierced me like a knife.
In downward times I nearly died,
I said “I’m okay,” but I lied.
So many times I’d suicide,
But you saved me, my wife.
Today I’m feeling quite alright,
I work by day and sleep by night,
Not always wrong, nor always right,
So play the drums and fife!
I must make a true confession,
I sometimes suffer deep depression.
It comes upon me without warning,
A darker night, a darker morning.
The world seems useless, meaningless,
I turn my back on all the rest.
Sometimes it lasts for months on end,
I’ve sometimes suicided, my friend!
I cannot count my hospital stays,
They go on for weeks and months and days.
My mania’s the rare flip-side,
A full psychotic circus ride.
The worst’s when I have both at once,
I’m a frantic, active, negative dunce.
I had treatment for many a year,
But my moods swung quite widely, My Dear.
It is a miracle I’m alive,
I got salvation in Two Thousand and Five.
Today, I’m happy to report,
My annual depression’s short.
Not quite as deep, not quite as dark,
Its bite is lesser than its bark.
I have survived, I’m usually glad
Compared to all the grief I had.
I love my job, I love my life,
I love my dear and precious wife.
If you suffer, I say to you,
You can defeat depression, too!
Stay strong, persist and fight the fight.
Eat well by day and rest by night.
It is no sin to moan and cry,
Why, I was once a crying guy.
Hang in there, help is on its way,
“You can survive it all,” I say.
Mad in America hosts blogs by a diverse group of writers. These posts are designed to serve as a public forum for a discussion—broadly speaking—of psychiatry and its treatments. The opinions expressed are the writers’ own.