The primary wall stood strong and tall, until she started to chisel her way through
She had been told that she would never recover —
From a severe psychotic break that resulted in a psychiatric hospitalization
A permanent designation of a psychiatric diagnostic label, a psychiatric disability
Stones comprising the wall started to crumble as she
Connected with others who believed in her and her potential for recovery
Discovered meaningful volunteer work, found ways to make a difference
Especially through advocacy writing for those facing mental health challenges,
and those living with dementia
Found a psychiatrist, therapist, and primary care physician who listened, and
focused on what she believed she needed to become and remain well
Her recovery journey was nonlinear, entailed re-traumatization
Drug regimens were developed, implemented, and modified as circumstances
changed
She found strength, hope, and wellbeing by connecting with an emotional
support dog
Through creative writing and journaling, public speaking, and sharing her story
She broke through walls — those created by others — and fought her way out
of prisons
That she had inadvertently created for herself, out of fear and due to social
isolation
Crawling, stumbling, walking, and running, then flying as chains no longer held
her
As the barriers were destroyed, and she found life to be worth living, darkness
dispelled
Walls do not have to be permanent, unbreakable — they can be dismantled
Looking toward beacons of hope, transformed in her journey toward recovery
Finding strength through connections with peers, colleagues, and close friends
Not relying solely on the specialty mental health sector, which can do harm
Finding one, only one, psychiatrist who believed in medication optimization
principles
Who was dedicated to shared decision making, respected what informed
consent is meant to be
Unconditional love and cuddles from her emotional support dog —
The combination of supporters made a forever difference, kept her moving
forward
The light prevailed.
***
I am a social gerontologist, a former Board member of the MHRB of Ashland County, and older adult. I am also a trauma survivor, an individual labeled with Bipolar Disorder, who struggled with suicidal ideation. I experienced the good and the worst in terms of the mental health care I received.
I have written academic/scholarly articles published in scientific peer-reviewed journals, position papers, blogs, newspaper articles, and workbooks. Perhaps what I am most proud of, however, is the following: I was Editor-in-Chief of an anthology of creative works crafted by individuals in recovery, “TAPESTRY OF OUR LIVES.” Contact the Executive Director of the MHRB of Ashland County for information about this anthology (419-281-3139).
***
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