Thank you Helen! I it very interesting how altered states are viewed so differently in other cultures. Your voice is powerful and your story can heal. I really like the link
Alex, thank you so much for you comment. I guess when I say that I was āacceptedā I was referring more towards being allowed to work, have a place to live, a wife, freedom ect. When I was using the word ārejectedā I was referring more toward prison or institutionization and the certain lack of rights Herion users or people with Schizophrenia have. I will admit however I do still feel and extreme disconnect with most people. I am someone who is much more comfortable being alone. I always had and maybe always will fell as an outsider. It is however a very lonely life to live for me and I fight against it dispite the creativity it brings.
I feel for you and would really like to hear your story further as it is very interesting to me. I agree the system and our culture is a very messed up place.
I agree that acronyms are very confusing. It might be just because I have worked in the system now for so many years it changed the way I speak. I did not like them when I started receiving treatment. I am fully on board with what you said about psychiatrists I have seen them do terrible things to people I care about. I feel that therapists, social workers and counclers can do the same. I myself was able to find a few good ones out there and I am very grateful for them because they saved my life. Thank you for your comment it was very helpful and I will remember it in my work.
Thank you for your words. It is unfortinent that we live in a system that treats āmental illnessā the way that it does. Itās important to find the things we are passionate about and that bring our lives meaning.
Lamarc, first and foremost I wanted to say that your comment was deeply moving. You must be an incredibly strong person to talk openly about your son on such a controversial issue and I hope that you continue to educate people on things like “Cannabis-withdrawal-suicide.” I have always thought that the use of medical marajuana for things like insomnia or anxiety is a marketing technique and very detrimental to American society. Drinking alcohol would not be considered a medication for any psychological symptoms but would be considered a unhealthy coping skill. Now Cannabis is being legalized for recreational use in more and more states including my home state Massachusetts. “Hash oil” or “Dabs”( A highly concentrated form of THC mixed with Butane) is becoming more and more popular amount young people. I would like to know how this effects the psychological state of the users. Your sons story hits me very close to mine and this encourages me to learn more on how THC effects people through their teens and twenties.
Forgive me for my use of language I was not trying to belittle your experience. I have been sectioned, arrested and restrained and know how painful it can be. The intention of my story was to try and show people that there is a “light at the end of the tunnel.”
Richard, I enjoyed reading your article and I found a lot of the things you wrote to be very inciteful. I had never heard the term “orange handcuffs” before but I do feel as though it describes Suboxzone very well. The decision to take Suboxone for me was largely due to the fact that I was afraid I might get arrested again and face time in prison a choice I did not feel was fair for a young man to face. I am reminded of a quote I had read some where that said “you can’t have a war on drugs, drugs are inanimate objects. You can only go to war with drug addicts.” I believe that is what has happened in America.
Ron I am glad you liked the story and I like the comment about how people who have experienced psychosis are less vulnerable to have a future episode. I feel as though since I have recovered from my episode I am much more in tune with my mind and my body.
The_Cat you’re right a lot of the things that happen when you’re inpatient can exacerbate paranoia and psychosis. The biggest being that you are unable to leave and the feeling of being trapped can be terrifying. I experienced difficulty sleeping due to the constant “checks.”
Richard, in response to your comment below the use of prescription stimulants, benzodiazepines, Suboxone and Marijuana may very well have been the cause for my psychotic episode and it would be interesting to look into it further. I read your article and I thought that it gave some really good incite on how we look at addiction as a disease and how we choose to treat substance use. It will be interesting to see how our society is changing with Marijuana laws and opioid treatment medications will effect people’s psyches over an extended period of time. I appreciate the idea for another blog and I have thought about writing one about my Suboxzone treatment.
Thank you for your comment J. For many years I talked with no one about my past “mental illness” and had to admit large parts of my life due to fear of being otrisized. When I decided to “come out” I was astonished to see the overwhelming support that I have been receiving. It is people like you and comments like this that will help us rethink what is called major mental illness.
Rossa, Thank you for your comment and I am sorry if there was any confusion about the medications in my story. It is hard for me to give a time line for exactly how long I was on neuroleptics for, due to the fact that I had undergone numerous med changes and it was a very chaotic time in my life. I had my episode when I was 20 years old and I would say I was on neuroleptics for a little under one year. After I had recovered from my break I started tapering off my medications. I was on Abilify for two years after this and by age 23 I was off medications all together, I am 28 years old now.
Before I experienced any psychotic symptoms I was also taking Suboxon, Vyvanse and Klononpin which I donāt believe was mentioned in my story. Withdrawing from these drugs was excruciating but I was lucky enough to come off of them as well. I hope this answers your question.
That is a really good question Randall and I wish I could give you a straight forward answer but I honestly don’t know. Haldol basically turned the volume down on everything making it difficult for me to think, it made shuffle back and forth, it gave me blurred vision and made me feel physically ill. I was only on Neruroleptics for a short period of time so I didn’t see any long term side effects. I am not sure if anti-psychotics played a role in recovering from my episode because I was placed on them immediately and did not get a chance to see if I could have been treated without them. It did not cause the delusions to go away but it sedated me to the point I was no longer viewed as a risk. I can say that I have not taken any drugs that I feel that I could benefit from long term use.
That sounds like a terrible experience and I am sorry you had to go through that. I think that shared decision making is important especially when someone is in a vulnerable state. There is nothing worse then being “locked away” and not being listened to.
Thank you for your support Alex! It is incredibly freeing talking about my experience and my hope is that others going through similar experiences can find this helpful as well.
Thank you for your kind words and feedback on the piece I wrote. I believe in many ways the diagnosis of schizophrenia is more detrimental than the extreme state of consciousness it self. Your comment about addiction really resonated with me. I never found AA/NA to be very helpful but when I would bring that up to the group the only reasponce I would get is “keep coming” and “it’s the only thing that works.” I do believe that when I smoked marijuana I would have an inner monologue with myself which eventually resulted in hearing voices. Your feedback about the use of quotations is something I never thought of especially when challenging what is considered to be a “medication.” I never noticed many positive effects from neuroleptics other then sedation but just like NA/AA a lot of the feedback is “keep taking them” and “it’s the only thing that works.”
Matt, I really appreciate your comment and it is always comforting to hear other people who have recovered from what is considered major mental illness. Your prespective is really refreshing. Funny you should mention ISPS because I just attended the conference at Boston University last month. I felt as though I learned an enormous amount.
Iām glad that you enjoyed it.
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Thank you Helen! I it very interesting how altered states are viewed so differently in other cultures. Your voice is powerful and your story can heal. I really like the link
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This is very good! Iām glad to hear your perspective.
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Alex, thank you so much for you comment. I guess when I say that I was āacceptedā I was referring more towards being allowed to work, have a place to live, a wife, freedom ect. When I was using the word ārejectedā I was referring more toward prison or institutionization and the certain lack of rights Herion users or people with Schizophrenia have. I will admit however I do still feel and extreme disconnect with most people. I am someone who is much more comfortable being alone. I always had and maybe always will fell as an outsider. It is however a very lonely life to live for me and I fight against it dispite the creativity it brings.
I feel for you and would really like to hear your story further as it is very interesting to me. I agree the system and our culture is a very messed up place.
Report comment
I agree that acronyms are very confusing. It might be just because I have worked in the system now for so many years it changed the way I speak. I did not like them when I started receiving treatment. I am fully on board with what you said about psychiatrists I have seen them do terrible things to people I care about. I feel that therapists, social workers and counclers can do the same. I myself was able to find a few good ones out there and I am very grateful for them because they saved my life. Thank you for your comment it was very helpful and I will remember it in my work.
Report comment
Thank you for your words. It is unfortinent that we live in a system that treats āmental illnessā the way that it does. Itās important to find the things we are passionate about and that bring our lives meaning.
Report comment
Lamarc, first and foremost I wanted to say that your comment was deeply moving. You must be an incredibly strong person to talk openly about your son on such a controversial issue and I hope that you continue to educate people on things like “Cannabis-withdrawal-suicide.” I have always thought that the use of medical marajuana for things like insomnia or anxiety is a marketing technique and very detrimental to American society. Drinking alcohol would not be considered a medication for any psychological symptoms but would be considered a unhealthy coping skill. Now Cannabis is being legalized for recreational use in more and more states including my home state Massachusetts. “Hash oil” or “Dabs”( A highly concentrated form of THC mixed with Butane) is becoming more and more popular amount young people. I would like to know how this effects the psychological state of the users. Your sons story hits me very close to mine and this encourages me to learn more on how THC effects people through their teens and twenties.
Thank you once again,
-Caleb
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Forgive me for my use of language I was not trying to belittle your experience. I have been sectioned, arrested and restrained and know how painful it can be. The intention of my story was to try and show people that there is a “light at the end of the tunnel.”
Report comment
Richard, I enjoyed reading your article and I found a lot of the things you wrote to be very inciteful. I had never heard the term “orange handcuffs” before but I do feel as though it describes Suboxzone very well. The decision to take Suboxone for me was largely due to the fact that I was afraid I might get arrested again and face time in prison a choice I did not feel was fair for a young man to face. I am reminded of a quote I had read some where that said “you can’t have a war on drugs, drugs are inanimate objects. You can only go to war with drug addicts.” I believe that is what has happened in America.
-Caleb
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Ron I am glad you liked the story and I like the comment about how people who have experienced psychosis are less vulnerable to have a future episode. I feel as though since I have recovered from my episode I am much more in tune with my mind and my body.
Report comment
The_Cat you’re right a lot of the things that happen when you’re inpatient can exacerbate paranoia and psychosis. The biggest being that you are unable to leave and the feeling of being trapped can be terrifying. I experienced difficulty sleeping due to the constant “checks.”
Report comment
Richard, in response to your comment below the use of prescription stimulants, benzodiazepines, Suboxone and Marijuana may very well have been the cause for my psychotic episode and it would be interesting to look into it further. I read your article and I thought that it gave some really good incite on how we look at addiction as a disease and how we choose to treat substance use. It will be interesting to see how our society is changing with Marijuana laws and opioid treatment medications will effect people’s psyches over an extended period of time. I appreciate the idea for another blog and I have thought about writing one about my Suboxzone treatment.
Report comment
Thank you for your comment J. For many years I talked with no one about my past “mental illness” and had to admit large parts of my life due to fear of being otrisized. When I decided to “come out” I was astonished to see the overwhelming support that I have been receiving. It is people like you and comments like this that will help us rethink what is called major mental illness.
Report comment
Rossa, Thank you for your comment and I am sorry if there was any confusion about the medications in my story. It is hard for me to give a time line for exactly how long I was on neuroleptics for, due to the fact that I had undergone numerous med changes and it was a very chaotic time in my life. I had my episode when I was 20 years old and I would say I was on neuroleptics for a little under one year. After I had recovered from my break I started tapering off my medications. I was on Abilify for two years after this and by age 23 I was off medications all together, I am 28 years old now.
Before I experienced any psychotic symptoms I was also taking Suboxon, Vyvanse and Klononpin which I donāt believe was mentioned in my story. Withdrawing from these drugs was excruciating but I was lucky enough to come off of them as well. I hope this answers your question.
Report comment
That is a really good question Randall and I wish I could give you a straight forward answer but I honestly don’t know. Haldol basically turned the volume down on everything making it difficult for me to think, it made shuffle back and forth, it gave me blurred vision and made me feel physically ill. I was only on Neruroleptics for a short period of time so I didn’t see any long term side effects. I am not sure if anti-psychotics played a role in recovering from my episode because I was placed on them immediately and did not get a chance to see if I could have been treated without them. It did not cause the delusions to go away but it sedated me to the point I was no longer viewed as a risk. I can say that I have not taken any drugs that I feel that I could benefit from long term use.
Report comment
That sounds like a terrible experience and I am sorry you had to go through that. I think that shared decision making is important especially when someone is in a vulnerable state. There is nothing worse then being “locked away” and not being listened to.
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Sorry I missed you. I am sure we will bump into eachother at some point. I will make sure to check out the ISPS discussion group.
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I appreciate your feedback on my story. There is nothing scarier then the fear of being watched.
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Thank you for your support Alex! It is incredibly freeing talking about my experience and my hope is that others going through similar experiences can find this helpful as well.
Report comment
Thank you for your kind words and feedback on the piece I wrote. I believe in many ways the diagnosis of schizophrenia is more detrimental than the extreme state of consciousness it self. Your comment about addiction really resonated with me. I never found AA/NA to be very helpful but when I would bring that up to the group the only reasponce I would get is “keep coming” and “it’s the only thing that works.” I do believe that when I smoked marijuana I would have an inner monologue with myself which eventually resulted in hearing voices. Your feedback about the use of quotations is something I never thought of especially when challenging what is considered to be a “medication.” I never noticed many positive effects from neuroleptics other then sedation but just like NA/AA a lot of the feedback is “keep taking them” and “it’s the only thing that works.”
Report comment
Matt, I really appreciate your comment and it is always comforting to hear other people who have recovered from what is considered major mental illness. Your prespective is really refreshing. Funny you should mention ISPS because I just attended the conference at Boston University last month. I felt as though I learned an enormous amount.
Report comment