That’s very kind of you to say, Sandra! Just hang in there and let the brain’s natural healing occur. I truly hope you are doing alright. Be good to yourself.
I’m glad to have inspired you. And I’d love to read your story someday. Also, thank you very much for the book recommendation. I got the ebook this morning and I’m half-way through it. Very helpful and easy to read. I’ve tried to read “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge but I’m still having trouble reading and understanding what I read.
Bi-lateral. I honestly don’t even remember that time of my life. I know I had 17 treatments. That’s about it. I wanted to die before, during and after my entire ECT experiment, so I’m convinced all my suffering was benzo related.
I loved this comment! Thanks Mary. I’d love to go back to school and become a doctor, but I’m afraid that costs a small fortune now-a-days. I had to go bankrupt during my illness, so I’ll never be able to borrow money again as I’m looked at as ‘financial cancer” to anyone in a suit. I think I’d make a great psychiatrist/psychologist too.
Step 1 is healing. Who knows what will happen in the future?
I’m glad you are recovering. I’m actually really interested in the blood/brain barrier as many, many people in my benzo withdrawal support group swear by it. I’ll use the link you gave me to find out more. Much appreciated!
Thank you Richard. My first insight into psychiatric abuse came through mind.org.uk. I was in the hospital in 2010 and somehow I came across their guide to coming off psych meds and what caught my eye was the severe warnings they gave the reader. Also, in that same year, my pharmacy started labelling benzos as a narcotic, so I put two and two together. Unfortunately, it was a long, long time until I could taper properly.
I keep up with mainstream news articles about the overprescription epidemic, and I follow MIA regularly, but that’s only been within the last 6 months or so. I rented Whitaker’s “Anatomy” from my library right before I began tapering Klonopin, but I was unable to read it as I got very sick, very fast. So, all told, I’m quite new to the world of psychiatrist abuse outside of my own experience. During my taper and much of the withdrawal I could’t read.
I didn’t have to consider the benzo equivalent of “Opioid Induced Hyperalgesia” as I lived it for years. My threshold for pain was low, as was my threshold for stress. It still is and I’m 15 months off the pills. I believe it’s as real as any other side effect from benzos.
The fact that I called them “medications” was supposed to be a jab at psych drugs because I put it in quotation marks. I agree. They are drugs. No doubt.
Hope you are well! Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it.
There is no medication for Complex PTSD, so a typical psychiatrist just sedates and medicates. Everyone I meet who has PTSD I recommend they see a psychologist or even a counsellor of some sort to get all the darkness out and bring in some light. Talk therapy is a miracle if done right. I’ve made more progress in healing my PTSD in one therapy session involving a huge, sobbing cry than any pill could possible do for me. I’m sorry you spent so long seeking help only to have the root cause ignored. You’re tough!
In my experience, anti-psychotics and ADs make me jittery and uncomfortable. So, I’d agree that for people like you and I, they only make us worse. I’m very excited to begin my Prozac taper in the new year. I’ll be free as a bird sometime next year.
Well, Nova Scotia is wonderful if you like the outdoors. Halifax is really the only city. The rest is mostly small towns and communities. We used to get lots of snow, but not so much anymore. Summers are starting to get REAL hot too. Spring is rainy and cold, but Fall is perfect (and my favourite). It’s very clean and people are friendly. It’s ‘home’ to me, so there’s no other place I’d rather be, really. Hope your move goes smoothly!
You’re welcome Chris. I’m glad you survived and hopefully you’ve healed by now (or are in the process). Psychiatry can be a monstrous system where trusting people are chewed up and spit out. I’m worried about the future and my friends’ kids. So, I want to do my part and caution against “the system.”
Encourage away, sir! I appreciate all the links and knowledge.
I never actually HAD any of those diagnosis, by the way. My only diagnosis is (and has been) benzo withdrawal, then came PTSD much later. Looking back on the past 17 years, it’s insane how easily I’ve been diagnosed and treated for anything but withdrawal and trauma. Healing from both withdrawal and trauma are very time consuming projects, so public psychiatrists do not have the time to treat them, therefore they don’t acknowledge them. That’s been my experience, anyway.
I was using my personal blog to start writing again after being afraid to do so for a long time. I’ll keep practicing there and try to help MIA in the future if they need a hand.
You’re welcome CatNight. Bravery will come when you’re ready. I’ve been wanting to tell my story for years, but I just couldn’t… for some reason. So, I guess the time is just right now. I’ve also tried to force bravery, and it never worked out well. Patience leads to bravery.
Thank you Someone Else. It just takes one doctor to listen, if my story suggests anything. I hope you don’t give up searching. I know it’s a disheartening, deadening process, so I wish you well!
I hope your friend is coping, John. He/she may want to check out the online support group Benzo Buddies and get engaged in conversation with others to see if his/her symptoms could be benzo related.
At some point during the withdrawal, I decided that the only way I’d survive was if I started to live for others (even with the minimal strength I had). If I was only living for myself, I don’t think I would have kept going as my life (and Me, myself) had lost all meaning and value. I am working on rebuilding that lost meaning/value for myself as I help others.
Wow. Great post Matt. Thank you so much for the information and links. I will look into them.
I’ve been beaten to death by the DSM. At one point or another in my journey, I’ve been diagnosed with Major Depression, Manic Depression, G.A.D., Bipolar, as someone with borderline personality disorder and an addiction, and I’ve been seen in early psychosis units. Also, my anxiety was so bad as a child doctors thought for a brief time I had tourrettes. I’m telling you, if diagnoses were worth anything, I’d be a millionaire.
17 years, all told! Thank you for the kind words Stephen. I also like the steak knife commentary. It’s a shocking image that (hopefully) will affect the reader. Thanks for reading.
I often think what would have become of me if I was allowed to talk to a professional before being medicated. My life would surely have been radically different. But, I’m here now, so I’m going to make the most of it
Life is a strange, strange path. I’m looking forward to 2017 though. Hopefully I continue to make strides in my recovery and I can help others do the same.
Thank you kindly! Yes, us Benzo Warriors could probably paper our walls with negative test results telling us that we’re fine. Just about a month ago I had an EKG done and the doctor told me I am a very health young man. I laughed out loud at how absurd that comment was, but – on paper – it’s true!
Sorry if I chose the wrong wording for harm caused by benzos. I’m not up on the lingo, but I did change it in my bio. It was my wording, not MIA’s. My mother died from her addiction to alcohol and was also badly damaged by benzos, so I’ve always identified with the term “addict” as I’ve seen my own addictive behaviours throughout the past 17 years eerily mirror that of my mother’s.
That’s very kind of you to say, Sandra! Just hang in there and let the brain’s natural healing occur. I truly hope you are doing alright. Be good to yourself.
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I’m glad to have inspired you. And I’d love to read your story someday. Also, thank you very much for the book recommendation. I got the ebook this morning and I’m half-way through it. Very helpful and easy to read. I’ve tried to read “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge but I’m still having trouble reading and understanding what I read.
All the best
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Bi-lateral. I honestly don’t even remember that time of my life. I know I had 17 treatments. That’s about it. I wanted to die before, during and after my entire ECT experiment, so I’m convinced all my suffering was benzo related.
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I loved this comment! Thanks Mary. I’d love to go back to school and become a doctor, but I’m afraid that costs a small fortune now-a-days. I had to go bankrupt during my illness, so I’ll never be able to borrow money again as I’m looked at as ‘financial cancer” to anyone in a suit. I think I’d make a great psychiatrist/psychologist too.
Step 1 is healing. Who knows what will happen in the future?
All the best!
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Thanks Jordan,
I’m glad you are recovering. I’m actually really interested in the blood/brain barrier as many, many people in my benzo withdrawal support group swear by it. I’ll use the link you gave me to find out more. Much appreciated!
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Thanks for giving me hope, Sonja. It’s still very hard, but I know I’m healing, so I just have to be content to wait it out.
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Thank you Richard. My first insight into psychiatric abuse came through mind.org.uk. I was in the hospital in 2010 and somehow I came across their guide to coming off psych meds and what caught my eye was the severe warnings they gave the reader. Also, in that same year, my pharmacy started labelling benzos as a narcotic, so I put two and two together. Unfortunately, it was a long, long time until I could taper properly.
I keep up with mainstream news articles about the overprescription epidemic, and I follow MIA regularly, but that’s only been within the last 6 months or so. I rented Whitaker’s “Anatomy” from my library right before I began tapering Klonopin, but I was unable to read it as I got very sick, very fast. So, all told, I’m quite new to the world of psychiatrist abuse outside of my own experience. During my taper and much of the withdrawal I could’t read.
I didn’t have to consider the benzo equivalent of “Opioid Induced Hyperalgesia” as I lived it for years. My threshold for pain was low, as was my threshold for stress. It still is and I’m 15 months off the pills. I believe it’s as real as any other side effect from benzos.
The fact that I called them “medications” was supposed to be a jab at psych drugs because I put it in quotation marks. I agree. They are drugs. No doubt.
Hope you are well! Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it.
Report comment
There is no medication for Complex PTSD, so a typical psychiatrist just sedates and medicates. Everyone I meet who has PTSD I recommend they see a psychologist or even a counsellor of some sort to get all the darkness out and bring in some light. Talk therapy is a miracle if done right. I’ve made more progress in healing my PTSD in one therapy session involving a huge, sobbing cry than any pill could possible do for me. I’m sorry you spent so long seeking help only to have the root cause ignored. You’re tough!
In my experience, anti-psychotics and ADs make me jittery and uncomfortable. So, I’d agree that for people like you and I, they only make us worse. I’m very excited to begin my Prozac taper in the new year. I’ll be free as a bird sometime next year.
Well, Nova Scotia is wonderful if you like the outdoors. Halifax is really the only city. The rest is mostly small towns and communities. We used to get lots of snow, but not so much anymore. Summers are starting to get REAL hot too. Spring is rainy and cold, but Fall is perfect (and my favourite). It’s very clean and people are friendly. It’s ‘home’ to me, so there’s no other place I’d rather be, really. Hope your move goes smoothly!
Report comment
You’re welcome Chris. I’m glad you survived and hopefully you’ve healed by now (or are in the process). Psychiatry can be a monstrous system where trusting people are chewed up and spit out. I’m worried about the future and my friends’ kids. So, I want to do my part and caution against “the system.”
Take care.
Report comment
Encourage away, sir! I appreciate all the links and knowledge.
I never actually HAD any of those diagnosis, by the way. My only diagnosis is (and has been) benzo withdrawal, then came PTSD much later. Looking back on the past 17 years, it’s insane how easily I’ve been diagnosed and treated for anything but withdrawal and trauma. Healing from both withdrawal and trauma are very time consuming projects, so public psychiatrists do not have the time to treat them, therefore they don’t acknowledge them. That’s been my experience, anyway.
I was using my personal blog to start writing again after being afraid to do so for a long time. I’ll keep practicing there and try to help MIA in the future if they need a hand.
Report comment
You’re welcome CatNight. Bravery will come when you’re ready. I’ve been wanting to tell my story for years, but I just couldn’t… for some reason. So, I guess the time is just right now. I’ve also tried to force bravery, and it never worked out well. Patience leads to bravery.
Take care!
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Thank you Someone Else. It just takes one doctor to listen, if my story suggests anything. I hope you don’t give up searching. I know it’s a disheartening, deadening process, so I wish you well!
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I hope your friend is coping, John. He/she may want to check out the online support group Benzo Buddies and get engaged in conversation with others to see if his/her symptoms could be benzo related.
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Thank you. I’m not sure who those people are, but I’m guessing they’re doctors working with Pharma?
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Thank you so much for the kind words, Alex.
At some point during the withdrawal, I decided that the only way I’d survive was if I started to live for others (even with the minimal strength I had). If I was only living for myself, I don’t think I would have kept going as my life (and Me, myself) had lost all meaning and value. I am working on rebuilding that lost meaning/value for myself as I help others.
Take care
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Wow. Great post Matt. Thank you so much for the information and links. I will look into them.
I’ve been beaten to death by the DSM. At one point or another in my journey, I’ve been diagnosed with Major Depression, Manic Depression, G.A.D., Bipolar, as someone with borderline personality disorder and an addiction, and I’ve been seen in early psychosis units. Also, my anxiety was so bad as a child doctors thought for a brief time I had tourrettes. I’m telling you, if diagnoses were worth anything, I’d be a millionaire.
Hope you are well!
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Thank you for taking the time to comment, AA. Much appreciated.
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Thank you Randall. I truly appreciate it.
Get ya in and get ya out! Then submit the bill to the government. What a mess…
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17 years, all told! Thank you for the kind words Stephen. I also like the steak knife commentary. It’s a shocking image that (hopefully) will affect the reader. Thanks for reading.
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Thank you Fiachra!
I often think what would have become of me if I was allowed to talk to a professional before being medicated. My life would surely have been radically different. But, I’m here now, so I’m going to make the most of it
Life is a strange, strange path. I’m looking forward to 2017 though. Hopefully I continue to make strides in my recovery and I can help others do the same.
Report comment
Thank you kindly! Yes, us Benzo Warriors could probably paper our walls with negative test results telling us that we’re fine. Just about a month ago I had an EKG done and the doctor told me I am a very health young man. I laughed out loud at how absurd that comment was, but – on paper – it’s true!
Wishing you all the best in your recovery.
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Thank you, Mary. I will be sure to check it out. I truly appreciate the kind words!
Take care
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Hi Cole,
Sorry if I chose the wrong wording for harm caused by benzos. I’m not up on the lingo, but I did change it in my bio. It was my wording, not MIA’s. My mother died from her addiction to alcohol and was also badly damaged by benzos, so I’ve always identified with the term “addict” as I’ve seen my own addictive behaviours throughout the past 17 years eerily mirror that of my mother’s.
Hope you are well.
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