At a threshold in consciousness
an opening unknown, yet sensed as vaguely familiar
and here now
intense fear arising – cold chill, sweating palms, pounding heart—
ego in a blind terror
of not knowing,
of facing not being in control
of mind losing itself!
Gut-feeling: “I have been here before!”
and, in memory, it was dark, vast, all-consuming
a total stripping of mind’s
certainty, stability, security
ego reduced to its bare nothingness
exposed as the illusion it is.
Then, diagnosed and under the watchful eye of psychiatry,
for a long time locked up
with an incomprehensible experiencing…
facing annihilation of ego-identity:
is this a threshold of the liberation and peace I seek?
“insanity” or “awakening”?
What else really matters?
Back to Poetry Galley
Mad in America hosts blogs by a diverse group of writers. These posts are designed to serve as a public forum for a discussion—broadly speaking—of psychiatry and its treatments. The opinions expressed are the writers’ own.
Mad in America has made some changes to the commenting process. You no longer need to login or create an account on our site to comment. The only information needed is your name, email and comment text. Comments made with an account prior to this change will remain visible on the site.