Crash: A Memoir of Overmedication and Recovery (Charing Cross Press, 2022) by Ann Bracken
It sneaks up on youâdepression, overmedication, and just depressed and overmedicated author of Crash Ann Bracken was by the time she realized that depression was the least of her worries. One minute, the reader is immersed in an isolated world of a terrified child whose mother never âcomes backâ from âmental illnessâ and the treatment she endured for decades. The next minute, the readerâs heart pounds, his or her head swims, and breath catches in his or her chest right along with Brackenâs. When did Annâs migraine start? How many medications is she taking? How long has her husband been speaking to her like that? Why does every one of Brackenâs doctors sound the same?
Why does every one of her doctors sound the same indeedâincluding the fact that not one of them asked her about her relationships (or anything else about her environment) before they adjusted (usually increased) her medication both in terms of dosage and variety. Bracken weaves together research on the harmful side effects, known since at least the 1970s, of psychotropic medication, especially the interactions of multiple psych meds, with her personal experience of some of these exact harms as well as finally understanding what she as a child witnessed of her motherâs experience of these harms. Her portrayal of herself as a dutiful, compliant patient in order to avoid the harshest treatments but also because she at one point trusted her doctors implicitly (as many do) makes the length of time she was in an abusive marriage all the more heartbreaking.
The demands of the mental health industry for its âpatientsâ to be compliant is still an unfamiliar feature to many. Iâve talked to more people in mental and emotional distress in the last few months than I have in the few years before the pandemic, and nearly all of them have seriously considered checking themselves into a hospital for reliefâand not even as a last resort. None of them had any concept of just how severe the expectation would be to conform to whatever âwellnessâ looked like to the âtreatmentâ providers, to say nothing of the major rights violations, dehumanizing treatment, mandatory medication, and other mainstays that have scarred so many psychiatric survivors. The people Iâve talked to that were considering voluntary commitment saw the hospital not even as a lesser of all options but as an overall healing place that would benefit them. Most of them are still under the impression that, if they check themselves in voluntarily, then they are able to engage in any of the âservicesâ a psychiatric ward provides and that they are free to leave at any time.
This is very often not the case because, once you enter a psych ward, you are basically assumed to be incompetent and therefore, when you leave and what youâll do for the duration youâre there are not up to you. Hospitals are incentivized by insurance and a medical system that loses money if people get healthy and donât depend on it anymore, so they are interested in maximizing a personâs stay for the cashflow from reimbursements rather than for their well-being. This is stating the obvious for the veterans of the psychiatric system, but most of this is still not common knowledge.
The mistrust of doctors has been growing the last few decades, especially in the last three years. But, even as an increasing number of people are seeking alternatives to the Western medical model, it is still largely taboo to question a whitecoat about their recommendation of psych meds, as if these pills are sacred or something. And it makes sense: everyone who is not a doctor repeats the refrain âdonât start or stop medications without talking to your doctor,â in concert with the mantra that âitâs okayâ to âneedâ medication oozing out of societyâs pores. It is important to start or stop medication under the guidance of a doctor but emphasizing this without qualificationsâlike what philosophy the doctor has about âmental illness,â for exampleâseems to have led people to the conclusion that doctors are to be worshipped rather than the more appropriate one, which is that psych meds are dangerous substances.
Bracken portrays this fear of crossing doctors in mental health matters aptly in Crash; she notes just how widespread the practice is of correlating the level of âillnessâ with willingness to comply. This is a dangerous amount of power to give doctors, not just because it bestows the ability to force harmful chemicals down the throat of anyone they deem to âneedâ them (if a âpatientâ pushes back or even asks questions itâs construed by mainstream doctors as simply a demonstration of the need for said chemicals). It also allows those who are at best ignorant and indoctrinated (because they were trained by pharmaceutical companies; more below) and at worst intentionally seeking more power for themselves to define reality.
This is probably one reason âmental illnessesâ have âskyrocketedâ since (and even before) the pandemic: Big Pharma, aka companies who seek ever-increasing markets for their products that cause the very symptoms they claim to âtreatâ (and more!), has been allowed to define what âmentalâ and physical illness is for decadesâeven more so with the release of the DSM 5 in May of 2013. âMental illnessâ is now defined by the market needs of criminal cartels that rely on force, intimidation, and deceit for their business practices. And theyâve trained an unwitting army of âmental health professionalsâ as well as medical/health care workers, advocates, current patients and âalliesâ to perpetuate their narratives.
The myth of the chemical imbalance theory even showed up in a Christian lay-counselor training I was in recently: during our unit on depression and suicide, the trainer extolled the benefits of SSRIsâof course using a personal story to emphasize the effectiveness of the medications without even giving lip service to the proven fact that every human beingâs biochemistry is different, just as (and maybe even because) everyoneâs life experience is different. He recited the same line that many âmental health advocatesâ repeat: âJust like a diabetic needs insulin, thereâs no shame in needing antidepressants if youâre experiencing depression.â This is not the article to discuss whether insulin is actually an appropriate treatment for type 2 diabetes, but itâs important to note, since itâs the most commonly used analogy for promoting the use of psych meds as a âtreatmentâ for âmental illness,â that there is actually someâgrowing yet suppressedâquestion about the line of thinking that type 2 diabetics âneedâ (or should be given) insulin, so in that way, then, perhaps it is an apt metaphor. The conflation of mental illness with physical illness is a stronghold in this culture, and itâs the bedrock of Big Pharmaâs business plan.
Bracken tackles the chemical imbalance myth as she places the deep harm psychotropic medications do, especially in concert with other psychotropic medications, squarely in the light. In Crash, she relays the research she did about the long-known harms of psych meds as she discovered itâfirst with disbelief, then with confusion, then with anger, then with confidence that her doctors either didnât know about it (or else why would they be making the recommendations they were making for her multi-med regime) or had other research to refute it. She did not suspect the immediate dismissal that her erstwhile trusted doctor gave her. When she pointed out that the list of symptoms she was experiencing were exactly the ones listed in the tomes of research she had come across about the âside effectsâ (as if suicidal thoughts are a mere bother off to the side) of psych meds, her doctor didnât even ask to see these studies or ask any questions at all. He simply parroted the line that too many psychiatric survivors have heard: âItâs the depression/anxiety/[insert diagnosis here] returning. Thatâs why you need to stay on your meds for life.â
Brackenâs doctor told her exactly that: that her brain had been damaged by depression (of course it couldnât be the medications he was prescribing her) and she needed to stay on her antidepressants for life to keep the depression from returning. Her doctor himself was on them, and he considered living depression-free worth all the other side effects of the medications, including his potentially marriage-destroying lack of libido. This is not an extreme case: Crash is a poignant reminder that there are still so many people suffering under the biomedical model and being told that their symptoms are simply a âchemical imbalanceâ without environmental factors being taken into account. So many people consuming multiple kinds of medicationsâmore for the side effects that other medications are causing than their original complaintsâwithout having given fully informed consent. It is still shocking to read how horribly many doctors are willing to treat their patients, and how they persist in willful ignorance about the harms their prescriptions are causing. And itâs worth asking if doctors might have something like Stockholm Syndrome related to Big Pharma, just as many of the highly institutionalized âpatientsâ that viciously attack anyone who questions the safety and efficacy of medications might.
Bracken does not explicitly call out Big Pharma, though. Doctors certainly have some culpability in this situation as it is their job to make sure they are adequately trained and properly keeping up on the latest studies, as well as the funders of those studies. But they are mostly doing what theyâre trained to do; people donât know what they donât know. Medical schools and licensing boards have been deeply infiltrated by Big Pharma such that the pharmaceutical industry is basically writing the curriculum that future doctors have to learn well enough to pass licensing boards. To ensure that doctors donât question the prevailing narrative of their benefactors (the drug industry), most of the bribes the pharmaceutical industry offers to prescribers are simply irresistible. No book can cover everything, but Bracken doesnât mention Big Pharmaâs tentacles and influence hardly at all in a book about overmedication. Big Pharma has taken an even more prominent role in molding our culture, demanding conformity and breaking up families if individuals donât go along with the dominant narrative. Even âmental health advocacyâ groups default to encouraging people to not stop taking their meds and pushing for increased access to mental health âservices,â which nearly always means increased access to medication with lip service to therapy.
The other curious aspect of Crash is that Bracken never identifies as a psychiatric survivor. Sheâd âqualifyâ to be considered one, but, to stay aligned with the movementâs principles, itâs vital that people self-identify as a psychiatric survivor. I donât personally know Bracken so I can only hazard a guess, which would be that perhaps she believes that the root cause of her âmental illnessâ was not genetics, though her mom faced depression so severe that she was overmedicated for probably the rest of her life despite Brackenâs efforts to stop that. It wasnât a brain-chemistry imbalance, either. It was, in fact, the 28 years of slow-release abuse in her marriage. Once she came to terms with needing to end her marriage and went through the process of doing thatânot without pain itselfâshe was free from the mental and emotional suffering that her doctors had prolonged for years not just by overmedicating her, but by not bothering to ask about things like her relationships, career satisfaction, and other environmental factors that obviously play a huge role in a personâs well-being but are still rarely brought up in mainstream mental health âtreatment.â
Though Bracken did not challenge Big Pharma (instead focusing on doctorsâ complicity) and did not mention the accomplice role many mental health âadvocacyâ organizations have perhaps unwittingly taken on, her story is a powerful, heartbreaking wake-up call about how the severely damaging effects of medications that claim to relieve suffering can threaten generations in a family. Itâs an essential voice in the puzzle of mental and emotional distress that demands more of doctors, calls for us to stop compartmentalizing human beings and reminds us that we are only as healthy as our environments. Unless weâre taking psych medsâthen, weâre probably a whole lot worse off than we could be. And doctors know or should know that by now.
Hi Megan,
Thanks so much for your positive and insightful review of Crash. I’m glad that you found the book worthwhile and want to take the time to answer your critiques about not calling out Pharma and not identifying as a psychiatric survivor, though I certainly do.
As a writer, I’m sure you understand that we all make decisions about what to include and what to focus on in a work. At the time I wrote the book, I felt like it would be unwieldy for me to take on the role of Pharma, though I am certainly aware of how they push drugs on all of us and have a stranglehold on medical education. What got me to write the book was hearing Sam Quinones, author of Dreamland, talk about the opioid epidemic and how doctors had told patients they’d never become addicted–or at least only 1% of them might……When I heard that, I realized I’d been smack in the middle of the whole story because that’s exactly what happened to me.
I chose instead to tell the intertwining story of my mother and myself and how we were both treated for chronic pain and depression in much the same way–dismissed and over-drugged–even though our experiences were 30 years apart. I felt that if I could show that and show how the drugs most likely influenced the course of my mother’s inability to recover, and then paired Mom’s story with mine, people would more clearly see that the drugs are the problem. Along with our highly medicalized and decontextualized view of so-called mental illness.
While I don’t explicitly say I am a psychiatric survivor, I think that message came through loud and clear in the ways I expose how harmful Mom’s and my treatments were. It is my hope that people who read the book and are not in the world of MIA and other critical sources will begin to question their treatments, do some research, and above all, stop doing what isn’t working.
The hospital where I spent a week as an inpatient is directly across the street from me. See the poem “A Therapeutic Environment” linked below for my experience of visiting a friend there. It was terrifying to cross the threshold into the awful ward that had not changed in 17 years. I also linked the poem “The Hopkins Doctor Diagnoses Me” to show the power of psychiatry.
https://www.madinamerica.com/2020/01/hopkins-doctor-diagnoses-me-ann-bracken/
https://www.madinamerica.com/2018/05/therapeutic-environment-ann-bracken/
I have also written two pieces for the MIA family page and have linked one below where I talk about the importance of parental rights to informed consent when it comes to care for their children. I find it unconscionable that any psych drugs are given to young people and speak out whenever I get the chance–mostly to my friends and relatives if they are open.
https://www.madinamerica.com/2023/04/qa-what-is-informed-consent-and-what-should-i-know-to-help-my-child/
One last word about being a psych survivor—-It took 19 years for the feelings of terror and fear to arise after the two car crashes I endured while heavily drugged. Now that the feelings have finally surfaced, I struggle to drive on expressways and have to use a weighted blanket, CBT techniques, and herbals like Rescue Remedy to drive across town to see my daughter. I also did EMDR which helped a great deal. All of that because two doctors never took the time to look deeper into my situation and chose to drug me with opioids and benzos instead.
Lastly, about my awful marriage. I wanted to show how the long-term effects of mean teasing can be so harmful to a person. I never knew I was being abused and dated many men who teased me in mean ways and then said I couldn’t take a joke–though not anymore! That behavior from men in my circle was completely normalized. I’ve done whatever I can to break the destructive pattern for my own children, but I see verbal abuse rippling through my extended family and many of my relatives’ relationships. To reframe what happened to me, I actually see my experience of chronic pain and depression as a gift to get me out of a very painful marriage. I’ve had a second chance to make a good life and I’m very grateful. I also don’t have any more feelings of depression!
Thank you again for your thoughtful reading of Crash. I’ve read much of your other work and appreciate seeing you here on Mad in America.
All the best,
Ann
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In Mexico in the 90s it was common knowledge among physicians that opioids, even newer ones then and benzos were very addictive. Opiods were not prescribed outside terminal conditions. Rarely in low doses for no more than 5 days for acute conditions…
It was kinda cultural to avoid them.
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Yes, and the research I did showed that it was well known here in the US as well. But the story that Purdue told over and over about the drugs not being addictive somehow persuaded doctors that rule no longer held. Even if one doesn’t become addicted–which I did not, I think because the drugs never took away my headache pain–one can suffer from the harmful effects. In my case, I fell asleep at every stoplight and eventually had two car crashes that woke me up and pointed me into a new direction.
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Wow, sorry…
Around the end of the 90s I was there in the US a few years and they did have a more casual attitude towards opioids. But, you did the research :).
So I guess opioids for headaches was after 2006?
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No, my doctor prescribed opioids from 1996 to 2000. Iâm so grateful that Iâm ok.
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I haven’t read the book, but as it is presented in this article… It sounds like a much needed voice on an under talked about issue.
I too went down this rabbit hole of decades of over medicated “care”. As well as a very long list of psychiatric diagnosis that are on my permanent health record. It entailed a decade of me being chemically, mentally and emotionally confined to my couch and home… Unable to be an effective parent to my children.
Worse, when my son was 3 and having severe emotional and behavioral problems, my psychiatrist recommended a pediatric psychiatrist and he was put on some of the same medications as me…at 3 years old.
Since I was following my dr.s orders.. I couldn’t see that much of his problem was an ineffective mother and believed them when they said he inherited my genes.
My son suffered greatly.
At 18 years old, he took himself off the medications and never spoke to another psychiatrist…and he got better. I was inspired to take myself off the medications and never spoke to another psychiatrist…and I got better.
Thank you both for presenting this.
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Hi Ann
I especially liked your focus on the physicians. Patients and the public want to believe that their doctors are well meaning, and it seems as if doctors are excused from their role in perpetrating psychiatric abuse. Often psychiatric survivors describe their abusing psychiatrist as compassionate or doing the best they can. It was so refreshing to read a realistic portrayal of the hypocrisy and profit motives of psychiatry.
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Hi Ceceila, thanks for commenting. Iâm very sorry to hear that both you and your son endured years of drugging. In reading your story, it was no surprise that your son would have behavior problems. Why do shrinks alway s neglect to look at the family ecosystem? Iâm not sure what the answer is, but Iâm pretty sure neither of us would ever consult a shrink again. All the best to you!
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In psychiatry no one wants to ask what happens to the patient ten , fifteen or twenty down the line after decades of compliance what happens to the patient. They don’t want to find out because they have poor outcomes!
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I bought the book. I am still reading.
I had the headache (as did my mother).
Everyday for 12 years. It went away when I passed through menopause (as did my motherâs)
I am drug free, these days.
So far ⊠I think the book is very brave.
I can not explain my behavior on psyche drugs. That was an altered state.
I was not suicidal before the drugs and I am not suicidal after the drugs.
I told them I wasnât sad. They said it was âclinical depressionâ (a bunch of malarkey).
I did give it some thought how my mother experienced her headache in the context of being a 50âs housewife (married), while I experienced it as a first generation feminist (I had to work). This gave me some perspective on how the same human condition gets experienced during different periods of history (and will be different 100 years from now)
I have abandoned the whyâs of what is now long ago in my personal history.
It is a well worn caricature of a woman.
I remain curious though – why did it not kill me? (when this medical guessing game they play has killed others) How did I survive? (when others didnât). Why did I survive? Unknown.
Part of the problem may lie in the use of that word âcomplianceâ. It means âobedientâ. There is no way under the sun, as a living creature, I can knowingly be obedient to some stranger in a white coat, who is instructing me to swallow a substance that I believe harms me. Neither their insistence that they know whatâs best for me, nor my insistence that those substances harm me – can be proven. The ultimate âhe said, she saidâ.
I recall, from early on in my ordeal – it felt like I had been knocked down and I could not get up. This was bizarre (I am extraordinarily good at getting back up). But in hindsight – that was the whole point – sedate that complaining woman!
No wonder no one gets well! (or I guess some people think they do)
I only have one regret in life, and that is that I ever spoke with a âdoctorâ. Someone should really teach those people how to say âI don’t knowâ.
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Muchos mĂ©dicos son narcisistas. Y la industria farmacĂ©utica es su propia psicopatĂa.
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