There is a vastness of sorrow and emptiness within me that I can’t describe. The sting of shame, the flames of regret consume me. There is a darkness within me that is waiting just beneath the surface to spring. A yearning for evil, a desire almost beyond my control. It is a constant battle within myself. There are parts of me that I despise, but I must accept. The pain that I have wrought upon others weighs heavily on my shoulders. The betrayal. The lies. So much pain I have caused they have turned their cheek to me. I am screaming and calling for help but they have muffled the sound. I am drowning in my own self hatred and mistakes. The sand cannot flow backwards, so I must break the glass. I cannot re-tie the strings that have unraveled. I must cut them. The flower is dying where it now sits, so I will uproot it and replant it. The mirror can not be mended, so I must reframe how I view myself. The scars won’t vanish, but they will fade. The darkness within me can be tamed. One day the shame will no longer consume me, but prevent further pain. I know now that this is not the way. I just wish that it wasn’t too late.
***
From the author: Recovery is possible!
***
