Dear Hazel Gay,
Thank you for responding. I appreciate being understood and validated. I am sorry you have felt this too.
I feel some shame attached to my need for a “friend prostitute”. I figured that there must be something terribly wrong with me that I need someone to be getting paid to “care”.
There have been a lot hours, days, weeks, months and years that my insurance paid for me to have a “friend prostitute”. I was sold on the idea and it only caused further harm. Not just the “appointments”, the insurance money, also about my actual friends. They too have been victims of soft mind control.
If they saw I was especially upset about a new terrible life event, they’d ask me if I have an appointment coming up. Society has been sold a bunch of bullshit in my opinion. For our own friends to have learned not to be a friend so that their friend that is suffering can go talk to a “professional”, a “friend prostitute”. The rules for these clinicians are set up to be unnatural and accepted by society. The clinicians can not to invite “a client” to their home for dinner or come to their “clients” house after they have been raped to make sure no one is lurking in their closets and just be with that person. Instead its “sterilized relationships”, and sadly looked at as if it’s “normal”.
This is not a refection on how to build relationships, it causes even more separation and more harm. I hope more people recognize the harm and start building “their tribe”.
“Tell your story.
Shout it. Write it.
Whisper it if you have to.
But tell it.
Some won’t understand it.
Some will outright reject it.
But many will
thank you for it.
And then the most
magical thing will happen.
One by one, voices will start
whispering, ‘Me, too.’
And your tribe will gather.
And you will never
feel alone again.”
― L.R. Knost
Dear Sam,
For me a speedy exit is truly the only way out. I agree with you, no one really wants to die, yet we are all headed in that direction. My only hope for myself is that I can have some autonomy and peace, finally after decades of suffering at the hands of that pigslop called psychiatry as you so eloquently called it.
So sad that we as a society have put “jobs” before human life. Some of the people working in psychiatry are “kind and nice”, and simply feel they need the job… to keep everything moving. People buying stuff… like homes, and cars, and on it goes.
In my opinion psychiatry is the worst pigslop out there because they prey on vulnerable and weak and then offer the hope for human connection in the form of codes for treatments, psychotherapy, and drugs. Human beings that really just need a tribe, friendships and love and instead they label them, process them, drug them… similar to a slab of meat.
These people, the vulnerable have value to this broken system as they are using their own money or insurance for hope… to feed and clothe the very people that are abusing them. What kind of fuckery is that?
The only value a “damaged by psych, psych patient” has is more treatments they can buy into. The only answer we as a society have is to seek out more psych for ones with psych damage.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of “snake oil” out there too. Supplements, all natural treatments and fancy rehabs, and they are wolves in sheep clothing also trying to make a buck off the hurt. Somehow society has been taught that it’s okay to hurt people along the way as long as we smile and show we “care”.
“Freebird” (by: Lynyrd Skynyrd)
“If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now
‘Cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see.
But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn’t be the same.
‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows I can’t change.”
Dear Katel,
I am so sorry that you have been through so much too. I am sorry that your adult son does not want to be in his life. He sure is missing out, because you have a lot to offer the world. I can see that in some of the comments you make on this website. I can almost feel the compassion.
I hope some day he makes his own way and realizes that these medications changed who we were and damaged our central nervous systems, which run our whole body.
I am sorry you too have been so sick because of psychiatry….psychiatry prey’s on the weak and kicks us when we are down. What kind of monsters want to be a part of that organization? GRRRR
I too went to another state and met a bunch of wonderful beautiful people that were part of a big movement of anti-psychiatry and peer support. I quickly learned that… that too was run by the state. *They* set up these beautiful people in what I would call a trap. Like you mention, the people were inadvertently pushing meds and then they’d trigger each other and create another need for more diagnosis’s, treatments, medications, etc. Even though I was only there a short time, it seemed like they were re-creating what they supposedly stood against. Reminded me of the book, “Animal Farm” by: George Orwell and I left.
Here is a quick summery of the book if you haven’t read it:
No, you didn’t deserve what happened to you and you do not deserve what is happening now. I hope you find “your people”, you deserve that. You deserve to be heard, to be loved and cared for.
Rebel,
I agree, my story is a cautionary tale. I hope some people will think twice before being labeled, and before considering psychiatry. its the biggest scam I have run into in my life because they claim to care and have compassion for its customers yet, I don’t see it.
Even the kindest provider has to agree with the status quo of what keeps this broken wheel turning.
*They* forgot to teach love when they invented psychiatry… so its about money, toxic positivity and an illusion that someone cares.
“Even suffering when wrapped in love, seems tolerable.” – Bangambiki Habyarimana
Someone Else,
Thank you for providing links to read further. How sad that this broken industry started a long time ago with Freud, and sadly the women and children, the vulnerable were hurt.
The link about “your child does not have bipolar” is so sad, yet so real. I am angry that these normal child reactions to life are labeled a dis-ease and then the people are mistreated and or treated like a contagion.
Thanks for the link to that book about Jesus and the culture wars… I plan to read it… I read some of it and wow, I can totally relate to that fuckery.
Concerning the “brain zaps”, I have heard plenty of people complain about that symptom. However it’s not the only one that is torture for me. I talked to someone that was recently in our local jail and was taken off of their antidepressants. This person was told that if they complain about brain zaps, they will go into the “hole”…. punished and isolated while being tortured.
If we can fix the brain zaps, can we continue on and fix all the broken systems that hurt the vulnerable??? Can we as a society change the ‘norms’ and help instead of hurt the suffering?
Can we stop the money flow of this sick organization? What if there was no money to be made in the diagnosing, coding and processing people that are hurting?
Never mind its gravy train and its not going to stop in my lifetime! Sad truths.
“Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”
Boans,
I read all of your comments, all of them. I watched the videos, I read about the fuckery, with the police, then the “legal system”, the broken mental health system. It seems terrible in Australia.
However let me tell you from first hand experience, this fuckery is happening each and every day here in the states too.
Not too many “mental health patients” are believed and society has been trained to not take any of it too serious. Its soft mind control.
I think you raise some very good points why people look away and why this just keeps happening over and over again, even when the corruption is exposed.
My question is, is there any hope at all? Are we just preaching to the choir here?
It broke my heart into pieces when I saw that video of that man getting tortured by the police in his own yard. Then, I had to say I have seen similar in the US psych wards.
This abuse is disgusting. I raise the question about the “one or two” kind people that stick around with these jobs such as a psych ward.
Why are the nice ones there and yet do nothing? How nice are they that they see this abuse day in and day out and do nothing.
Are they simply afraid it will happen to them?
This seems like a cult, these broken systems and perhaps walking away from one of these jobs is more difficult than I realize.
Then again if everyone walked away from these jobs like a psych hospital? What then?
Would we resort to what they are doing in Indonesia?
Dear Rosalee D,
Thank you for your kind words, you validation means a lot to me. I agree the general public are not aware of such gross inhumanities that are inflicted on those who suffer adversities… I wonder, are we just “preaching to to choir here”???
How can we really stop this from continuing?
I too hoped I would find compassion in my final chapter. Thank you being a part of that chapter and showing me compassion.
I will be ready to leave this world with dignity and autonomy after I figure out a way to pay my final “dues” to leave.
Dear Boans,
WOW, just wow. I read and re-read your comment and cried…. Its the sad truth. Your words, your links are so eloquent in describing just why people look away.
Why people looked away during the Nazi days and why it continues to this day. “A public health issue”… GRRR
I would love to see the letter you speak of… not for “proof” because I believe you. I have seen it first hand. More about solidarity.
I watched the J. Peterson YouTube and he nailed it too. The sad truth, about how society has terribly put “systems and rules” before human beings is sickening.
And lastly I watched the video with that poor man being abused by police. A “mentally ill man” being treated so inhumanly to actually cause a mental illness. ugh
I think you nailed it when you wrote about how possibly people don’t want to speak up and end up being treated like that. Its a terrible cycle…
Thank you for helping me to open the eyes to the atrocities within this broken, abusive establishment.
Dear Kevin,
Thank you for your kind words, so needed at the end of my life. Its disgusting how victims of child abuse and foster kids, end up in the hands of monsters, called “the mental health industry”…. where it’s legal to continue to exploit human beings… these innocent children that grow up and seek out love only to be coded and processed and labeled like a slab of meat.
I am sorry you too know this journey…. none of us deserved the abuse as children and none of deserved the legal abuse known as “mental health”…. its mental fuckery and it ruins lives… and makes it almost impossible for adults abused as children to navigate.
I am fortunate to have two adult daughters that have shown me love and three beautiful grandchildren. I hope they can take that love and always know its enough.
This idea that “mental health” runs in the family is scary. The children and grandchildren of mental health abuse survivors are prey to this industry, which is like vultures. I hope my little family can protect themselves from this sickness… the systems that are nothing but predators.
Please find me on FB and read my story in my daughters own words. Our little family needs community support that is not in the form of “society rapists”….disguised as mental health helpers….
Dear Ann,
Thank you for reaching out. I know this is a difficult topic…. I am nearing the end of my suffering. I have had enough medical abuse, religious abuse, political, and the mental health abuse was the worst because they are there for when we fall down…. and what happens is people get picked up by what appears to be “the kind people”, the ones that are paid to care, only to be thrown into a made up world of stigma, and the worst kind of human torture there is on this planet. And when that system doesn’t work, its set up to to victim blame, so its a no-win.
I am grateful for my adult daughters and my beautiful grandchildren who were also victims to these broken systems. I hope some day my grandchildren will know to steer away from these broken systems, and know they have everything they need right inside their hearts. It’s called love and it doesn’t come from the medical/mental heath industries, politics, religion or products for sale.
It is my hope that my story will be a cautionary tale for them to look back on and know to seek out people that are not trying to damage who they are with codes, and processing, rather looking for the real people that refuse to be a part of anyone that normalizes this “factory type” work called “mental health care”.
Please go to my personal FB page and read my story in my oldest daughters words.
Gina,
Not many people realize the connection to politics, religion and our broken medical/mental health industry. The legal abuse.
I went to the link above and went down that rabbit hole this morning and could feel your words… your pain and sadly could relate to it.
Where have you been my whole life?
So many people want to “sugar coat” this abuse to sweetness like “They only want to keep you safe” or “Not everyone that works in the industry is monsters.”
I wish I could have had used some of the raw language you have chosen to establish the realness of what it is like to be on the receiving end to this “legal abuse”.
It’s no worse than what people are willing to pay for when they go to see a horror flick. You are right, 100%!
Why do people want to look away from the horror show that is the mental health industry?
And is there really any “nice people” there? The ones that are simply not admitting to the abuse, but perhaps give a nice smile, yet do nothing about changing the status quo.
This is the issue I have with my “kind therapist”. She is kind, but how can she be *that* kind if she’s not angry enough to walk away from an industry that treats its customers worse than the animals at a meat factory?
“You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.”
Gina,
Thank you for reading my story. I only wish and ask for a peaceful exit… and I hope more people will consider reading my oldest daughters words too.
Thank you for saying that I am heard, I am believed. It means a lot to me.
Our family has been severely traumatized by this terrible industry. Please find our story on my FB page in my daughters words…..
Dear Boans,
The word “judgment” seems to have different meanings for many people. When we as society sees a psych patient that is overweight and yet not “pulling their weight” (pun intended)…and taking a bunch of prescribed harm… its difficult for some people to realize the expectations are not reasonable.
Or a psych patient that is tied up and screaming too much.
Or a psych patient that goes to a therapist for nightmares about childhood sexual abuse and gets sexually abused by the therapist and the new nightmares cause a lack of emotion and terror.
Your good friend that said that those that have evil in their heart need to have their souls ripped from them with a wire brush… wow… that is some deep, dark and real feelings! Makes me look like a wimp for just wishing I couldn’t see them, they they would just simply go away….
Thank you for saying my words provided you with comfort. I can’t stay much longer though. Life is about endings too and its all part of this human condition.
Dear Someone Else,
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I am so sorry to read that you too have been drugged to cover up child abuse. How sickening that this is happening. I tried to tell people my whole adult life about the fuckery of religion, child abuse and medical abuse and I was deemed “mentally ill” so society just silences my truths… and I got sicker.
I don’t listen to doctors anymore. They are like pimps, pimping patients out to “specialists” and then the “specialists” give out medications like tic tacs, slowly killing the organs of beautiful beings.
Beautiful people that got trapped in that cycle which is difficult to get out of to say it mildly.
You really should be proud to have gotten off these poisons. I am sorry you still have brain zaps and some mild symptoms. For me brain zaps can not be tolerated as zapping my brain with electrodes was part of the childhood abuse I had to endure. So its a huge trigger…. and my brain has to try to remember that this brain zap isn’t a punishment like before… yet it can’t because the body remembers.
Gina,
Thank you for reading my story. I only wish and ask for a peaceful exit… and I hope more people will consider reading my oldest daughters words too. In the link below.
Our family has been severely traumatized by this terrible industry.
Grace,
I am sorry you too are suffering. Your story is also a sad one. These doctors poly-drugging humans, no matter the damages it can cause. For MONEY. Im angry at the people this hurt. Thank you for reading my story and for understanding. Also for your support as I plan to exit….
Katel,
Thank you for reading my story. It means a lot to me. I know its not the happiest of stories and yet in some ways it does bring light. Like when people reach out such as you did and say that the message has been heard and things need to change. Thank you.
MyCin40,
Thank you for your comment. It must have been extremely emotional to come to an understanding of feeling embarrassed and ashamed to be a part of this broken system. If only more people would wake up to the understanding that this industry does in fact hurt people.
With that being said, I get it that some people benefit from having someone to remind them that these emotions are normal. It’s sad that *they* have normalized that we need to seek to pay someone in order for them to care.
Be it insurance or not.
As you pointed out the system is rigged and it starts out with people having unreasonable expectations at jobs, schools and communities, where they seek medications and therapy just to cope. Kathleen’s therapist pointed out that not all medications are “bad”. Some clients she has actually *need* anti-anxiety medications so they can work.
I think this is bullshit. Perhaps the job is unreasonable and not a fit for this person. Why is it the human…. the suffering being is at fault and not the job? Why do we as a society feel that people should be medicated or need treatment to cope with a job?
These are human beings and deserve to be heard and not simply medicated or even suggesting therapy for a job that has unreasonable exceptions. Or a job that has unsafe environments and low pay and not enough time off when their family members become ill.
Thank you for coming forward as a practitioner, someone that has been though the trainings and can see that yes, sometimes there is harm done in this industry. That is why we are MAD in AMERICA and sharing our stories, trying to validate and *listen* so we as a community can leave the next generation with facts so they can choose more compassionate healing options, and perhaps less demanding lifestyles instead of ones that can leave people feeling depleted.
Susan,
Yes, I love how Jim Carrey used art to process powerful and painful conscious and unconscious emotions. Kathleen also used the arts and got into the music industry and then film. Many times people get misunderstood when they don’t have “typical jobs”. There is a special place in my heart for those that are willing to go outside the box and embrace art.
BippyOne,
Thank you for your reply. I agree with you that things need to change, especially for children. Why does a society want hurt and abused children that grow up to be broken adults?
Until we stop people like doctors, therapists, hospitals, etc. from making money off of childhood atrocities, nothing will change. Follow the money.
Why teach parenting skills when theres money to be made in “problem children”?
Why normalize emotions, even extreme emotions when theres money to be made in pills, therapies, hospitals, etc?
I am sorry you too were abused as a child. You did not deserve this, I believe you and I am sorry this happened, because it should be criminal right next to this psychiatric establishment.
Thank you for validating Kathleen and her words too. it was important to her. Validation.
Kevin,
Thank you for taking the time to write the truth. I too love the phrase, “pedagogically calcified psychotherapist”. I also agree with you that this therapist really missed a great opportunity to grow as a human being.
Sadly I think this therapist saw Kathleen as a “diagnosis”, “complex case” and not simply a fellow human.
I hate to call it good, however the only good that ever comes out of a psych hospital is meeting real people. Sadly many are societies cast offs and “complex cases” and are being drugged or getting ECT.
Its sad to me that Kathleen’s therapist hasn’t realized that her training has taught her to be distant, to see her clients as “cases” and “codes” and “complex”.
I hope some day Kathleen’s therapist realizes that each “complex case” is an opportunity for personal growth as well as the opportunity to help another being.
Sometimes it was difficult to be Kathleen’s friend because she wanted to talk about difficult topics, she wanted to speak truths, she did not want us to waste time on small talk or fake bullshit. It was difficult and one of the biggest honors I have ever experienced.
Shame on her therapist for calling Kathleen the delusional one!!
That song made me tear up too…. thank you for sharing that, for the tears are needed to let out some of the pain….
“….I wonder if those changes
Have left a scar on you
Like all the burning hoops of fire
That you and I passed through
You’re a bluebird on a telegraph line
I hope you’re happy now
Well if the wind of change comes down your way girl
You’ll make it back somehow..” ~ E.John
Dear LookingUp,
I hear you, I believe you and I am sorry that this fucked system hurt you. That your family didn’t give you the love you deserved and they also fell for the bullshit medical/mental health establishment to your detriment.
I can see how you relate so much to Kathleen’s story. So sad that the very people we should expect to love and care for us, our family, our doctors, and our society… only harm the vulnerable.
I too can relate on a personal level to Kathleen’s story and after spending so much time talking to her, and both of us sharing our pain and how we have been damaged by the medications and the systems. Sometimes we both had to just come to the conclusion that there are no more words, the damage is done.
Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot to me and I am honored to be able to reach out and respond to you. I want you to know that you have been heard and I believe you and I am angry and I know you deserve so much more.
Susan,
I too read “Medication Madness” by Dr. Peter Breggin and also “Guilt, Shame and Anxiety-Understanding and Overcoming Negative Emotions.”
I have observed in my life that I have not been given too much opportunities to express what society calls “negative emotions”.
I feel these tough, dark emotions should be experienced and almost embraced. We have been taught by our current medical/mental health establishments, religions, communities and sometimes families that certain emotions should be “fixed”.
This is how we end up buying into medications, therapies, and even holistically inspired “treatments”.
There is so much beauty in allowing some of the despair, the grief and anxiety to be more normalized. We see it come out in beautiful art, music and poems. People that have tried to put words or pictures to their pain without trying to be “fixed”.
Here is an example of Jim Carrey, someone people know to make us laugh, actually sharing some of his pain.
Damocle,
Different religions have different “rules” of suicide, however religions also back money, health, and did I say money??
“They tell us that Suicide is the greatest piece of Cowardice… That Suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in this world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.” ~ Schopenhauer
Katel,
Thank you for your kind words. I do hope that sharing Kathleen’s story will help some people understand there is a “gray area” within these broken systems and people, precious human beings that are being hurt and it needs to stop.
Rebel,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me. Honoring Kathleen’s life and what she shared with all of us. There are so many broken systems out there that it seems that greed got in the way of “good intentions”.
Maybe not all humans are sick scums, however there are some people out there that sadly are somehow allowed (by society standards) to hurt the vulnerable.
I have personally experienced this type of “legal abuse” within the medial system, mental health, legal, corporations, and even religions.
In my opinion one of the most important things we can offer to our fellow humans is validation and listening to them, hearing their stories and opening up our minds to the possibility that we have been wrong about our beliefs.
Susan,
Thank you for your kind response. I agree and feel that Kathleen’s letter should be required reading for anyone wanting to get into this broken system. Her friendship meant so much to me because she spoke the truth. Her truths. She was able to talk about the side effect of suicidal thoughts that are clearly written on the drug paperwork from the pharmacy.
Sadly, things don’t get better for everyone. I am happy for you that you have found healing. I have read about others that had a “recovery” and then another flair up years later. There is just so much unknown about these drugs and withdrawal and like Kathleen so eloquently wrote, no one really knows what happened to our brains after years of taking these medications.
With that being said, I am grateful to learn that you and some other people have found some relief. I am sorry you had to go through that torture… no one deserves that.
JKS,
My story too is similar to Kathleen’s, my “core family” is narcissistic and invalidating. What is different in my story is that I have two beautiful adult children that see me as a human being and they have seen the fuckery of what the mental health system did to me over the years. They believe me, even though it hurts, they support me.
It is my hope that the people like you, that want to make a difference…. that perhaps they will help and support those friends & family members that really do support their loved ones but lack the extended family support for themselves.
It’s difficult to find support through all the broken systems. The doctors saying this patient is not med compliant or simply has a flair up of their “mental illness”.
Where’s the help for family that really do believe us?
“The test of a civilization is in the way that it cares for its helpless members”
Gina,
I just watched that trailer… I laughed (because the irony and so much truth, exposed) and cried and then balled my eyes out because yees, I agree… humans are sick scum upon the earth and some make money and earn fame being sick scum upon the earth.
Rosalee,
Thank you for your comment. I could not agree with you more! The psychiatric system is nothing but sham and I too wish I could have seen it before I was further damaged by their “legal abuse”.
It’s an atrocity that families disregard their loved ones that are now have a label of “psych patient” and are no longer believed.
The silencing and exploitation of the vulnerable by our society is disgusting and I am almost ashamed to be part of this human race…. 🙁
Sam,
Thank you for your comment, for speaking the truth. It sickens me that these people with bullshit letters after their names can cause so much harm. The slandering, the reputations ruined in the name of “help”. In the name of medical/mental health care.
Families that were “trained” to believe this bullshit, that a traumatized person needs to be fixed with labels, isolation, drugs and abuse is the worst thing we have done as humans, in my opinion.
Thank you again for your validation and understanding, I hope one day people start to see like you have said, “their trauma on top of trauma
kills!”
Richard, I agree, Kathleen’s story should be REQUIRED READING for anyone coming anywhere near another human being in the so-called “mental health” system.
As someone that has been severely harmed by this establishment, I am angry. I am angry at the beautiful lives that were nothing but collateral damage and treated like “societies trash”.
I loved Kathleen and my friendship to her mattered and was important. I hope she is at peace now, however I am sad that she had to endure such a traumatic death, all alone and suffering. 🙁
Sam, it’s sad when families come up with their own narrative to suit them. When I first met Kathleen, she kept sharing with me that she would repeatedly tell her family that she was the one that was suffering. It was her reality, not theirs in that moment that mattered.
It breaks my heart to lose a friend that was not afraid to break through her own family/religious trainings and allow for authentic relationships. I miss her so much, the world is a little more bleak without her.
I agree, no one should get bad treatment. I also agree that unless we are willing to love everyone equally, even those that we do not agree with, then what we are doing is not of love. I feel that psychiatry has not shown much love and compassion to its customers. Let’s face it, any psych patient is merely a customer and the customer service sucks when it comes to psychiatry.
I agree, the torture in the first world psychiatric facilities is as bad as anything anywhere in the world. Its “legal abuse” and I sure wish society would all agree it needs to change. Its inhumane.
I agree, it’s horror and disgusting that the mainstream media can continue to ignore the full story of psychiatry. I call it “legal abuse”… and it continues to be swept under the rug. So unacceptable the way some human beings are treated by society.
Thank you for your kind words. I agree, its important to get the word out about akathisia, it really is a torture and many people that are suffering lack validation.
Dear Hazel Gay,
Thank you for responding. I appreciate being understood and validated. I am sorry you have felt this too.
I feel some shame attached to my need for a “friend prostitute”. I figured that there must be something terribly wrong with me that I need someone to be getting paid to “care”.
There have been a lot hours, days, weeks, months and years that my insurance paid for me to have a “friend prostitute”. I was sold on the idea and it only caused further harm. Not just the “appointments”, the insurance money, also about my actual friends. They too have been victims of soft mind control.
If they saw I was especially upset about a new terrible life event, they’d ask me if I have an appointment coming up. Society has been sold a bunch of bullshit in my opinion. For our own friends to have learned not to be a friend so that their friend that is suffering can go talk to a “professional”, a “friend prostitute”. The rules for these clinicians are set up to be unnatural and accepted by society. The clinicians can not to invite “a client” to their home for dinner or come to their “clients” house after they have been raped to make sure no one is lurking in their closets and just be with that person. Instead its “sterilized relationships”, and sadly looked at as if it’s “normal”.
This is not a refection on how to build relationships, it causes even more separation and more harm. I hope more people recognize the harm and start building “their tribe”.
“Tell your story.
Shout it. Write it.
Whisper it if you have to.
But tell it.
Some won’t understand it.
Some will outright reject it.
But many will
thank you for it.
And then the most
magical thing will happen.
One by one, voices will start
whispering, ‘Me, too.’
And your tribe will gather.
And you will never
feel alone again.”
― L.R. Knost
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Dear Sam,
For me a speedy exit is truly the only way out. I agree with you, no one really wants to die, yet we are all headed in that direction. My only hope for myself is that I can have some autonomy and peace, finally after decades of suffering at the hands of that pigslop called psychiatry as you so eloquently called it.
So sad that we as a society have put “jobs” before human life. Some of the people working in psychiatry are “kind and nice”, and simply feel they need the job… to keep everything moving. People buying stuff… like homes, and cars, and on it goes.
In my opinion psychiatry is the worst pigslop out there because they prey on vulnerable and weak and then offer the hope for human connection in the form of codes for treatments, psychotherapy, and drugs. Human beings that really just need a tribe, friendships and love and instead they label them, process them, drug them… similar to a slab of meat.
These people, the vulnerable have value to this broken system as they are using their own money or insurance for hope… to feed and clothe the very people that are abusing them. What kind of fuckery is that?
The only value a “damaged by psych, psych patient” has is more treatments they can buy into. The only answer we as a society have is to seek out more psych for ones with psych damage.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of “snake oil” out there too. Supplements, all natural treatments and fancy rehabs, and they are wolves in sheep clothing also trying to make a buck off the hurt. Somehow society has been taught that it’s okay to hurt people along the way as long as we smile and show we “care”.
“Freebird” (by: Lynyrd Skynyrd)
“If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now
‘Cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see.
But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn’t be the same.
‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows I can’t change.”
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Dear Katel,
I am so sorry that you have been through so much too. I am sorry that your adult son does not want to be in his life. He sure is missing out, because you have a lot to offer the world. I can see that in some of the comments you make on this website. I can almost feel the compassion.
I hope some day he makes his own way and realizes that these medications changed who we were and damaged our central nervous systems, which run our whole body.
I am sorry you too have been so sick because of psychiatry….psychiatry prey’s on the weak and kicks us when we are down. What kind of monsters want to be a part of that organization? GRRRR
I too went to another state and met a bunch of wonderful beautiful people that were part of a big movement of anti-psychiatry and peer support. I quickly learned that… that too was run by the state. *They* set up these beautiful people in what I would call a trap. Like you mention, the people were inadvertently pushing meds and then they’d trigger each other and create another need for more diagnosis’s, treatments, medications, etc. Even though I was only there a short time, it seemed like they were re-creating what they supposedly stood against. Reminded me of the book, “Animal Farm” by: George Orwell and I left.
Here is a quick summery of the book if you haven’t read it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnTUV2k4CRs
No, you didn’t deserve what happened to you and you do not deserve what is happening now. I hope you find “your people”, you deserve that. You deserve to be heard, to be loved and cared for.
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Rebel,
I agree, my story is a cautionary tale. I hope some people will think twice before being labeled, and before considering psychiatry. its the biggest scam I have run into in my life because they claim to care and have compassion for its customers yet, I don’t see it.
Even the kindest provider has to agree with the status quo of what keeps this broken wheel turning.
*They* forgot to teach love when they invented psychiatry… so its about money, toxic positivity and an illusion that someone cares.
“Even suffering when wrapped in love, seems tolerable.” – Bangambiki Habyarimana
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Someone Else,
Thank you for providing links to read further. How sad that this broken industry started a long time ago with Freud, and sadly the women and children, the vulnerable were hurt.
The link about “your child does not have bipolar” is so sad, yet so real. I am angry that these normal child reactions to life are labeled a dis-ease and then the people are mistreated and or treated like a contagion.
Thanks for the link to that book about Jesus and the culture wars… I plan to read it… I read some of it and wow, I can totally relate to that fuckery.
Concerning the “brain zaps”, I have heard plenty of people complain about that symptom. However it’s not the only one that is torture for me. I talked to someone that was recently in our local jail and was taken off of their antidepressants. This person was told that if they complain about brain zaps, they will go into the “hole”…. punished and isolated while being tortured.
If we can fix the brain zaps, can we continue on and fix all the broken systems that hurt the vulnerable??? Can we as a society change the ‘norms’ and help instead of hurt the suffering?
Can we stop the money flow of this sick organization? What if there was no money to be made in the diagnosing, coding and processing people that are hurting?
Never mind its gravy train and its not going to stop in my lifetime! Sad truths.
“Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen
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Boans,
I read all of your comments, all of them. I watched the videos, I read about the fuckery, with the police, then the “legal system”, the broken mental health system. It seems terrible in Australia.
However let me tell you from first hand experience, this fuckery is happening each and every day here in the states too.
Not too many “mental health patients” are believed and society has been trained to not take any of it too serious. Its soft mind control.
I think you raise some very good points why people look away and why this just keeps happening over and over again, even when the corruption is exposed.
My question is, is there any hope at all? Are we just preaching to the choir here?
It broke my heart into pieces when I saw that video of that man getting tortured by the police in his own yard. Then, I had to say I have seen similar in the US psych wards.
This abuse is disgusting. I raise the question about the “one or two” kind people that stick around with these jobs such as a psych ward.
Why are the nice ones there and yet do nothing? How nice are they that they see this abuse day in and day out and do nothing.
Are they simply afraid it will happen to them?
This seems like a cult, these broken systems and perhaps walking away from one of these jobs is more difficult than I realize.
Then again if everyone walked away from these jobs like a psych hospital? What then?
Would we resort to what they are doing in Indonesia?
https://www.elitereaders.com/mentally-ill-indonesians-still-chained-locked/
Are we actually doing better than Indonesia?
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Dear Rosalee D,
Thank you for your kind words, you validation means a lot to me. I agree the general public are not aware of such gross inhumanities that are inflicted on those who suffer adversities… I wonder, are we just “preaching to to choir here”???
How can we really stop this from continuing?
I too hoped I would find compassion in my final chapter. Thank you being a part of that chapter and showing me compassion.
I will be ready to leave this world with dignity and autonomy after I figure out a way to pay my final “dues” to leave.
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Dear Boans,
WOW, just wow. I read and re-read your comment and cried…. Its the sad truth. Your words, your links are so eloquent in describing just why people look away.
Why people looked away during the Nazi days and why it continues to this day. “A public health issue”… GRRR
I would love to see the letter you speak of… not for “proof” because I believe you. I have seen it first hand. More about solidarity.
I watched the J. Peterson YouTube and he nailed it too. The sad truth, about how society has terribly put “systems and rules” before human beings is sickening.
And lastly I watched the video with that poor man being abused by police. A “mentally ill man” being treated so inhumanly to actually cause a mental illness. ugh
I think you nailed it when you wrote about how possibly people don’t want to speak up and end up being treated like that. Its a terrible cycle…
Thank you for helping me to open the eyes to the atrocities within this broken, abusive establishment.
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Dear Kevin,
Thank you for your kind words, so needed at the end of my life. Its disgusting how victims of child abuse and foster kids, end up in the hands of monsters, called “the mental health industry”…. where it’s legal to continue to exploit human beings… these innocent children that grow up and seek out love only to be coded and processed and labeled like a slab of meat.
I am sorry you too know this journey…. none of us deserved the abuse as children and none of deserved the legal abuse known as “mental health”…. its mental fuckery and it ruins lives… and makes it almost impossible for adults abused as children to navigate.
I am fortunate to have two adult daughters that have shown me love and three beautiful grandchildren. I hope they can take that love and always know its enough.
This idea that “mental health” runs in the family is scary. The children and grandchildren of mental health abuse survivors are prey to this industry, which is like vultures. I hope my little family can protect themselves from this sickness… the systems that are nothing but predators.
Please find me on FB and read my story in my daughters own words. Our little family needs community support that is not in the form of “society rapists”….disguised as mental health helpers….
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Dear Ann,
Thank you for reaching out. I know this is a difficult topic…. I am nearing the end of my suffering. I have had enough medical abuse, religious abuse, political, and the mental health abuse was the worst because they are there for when we fall down…. and what happens is people get picked up by what appears to be “the kind people”, the ones that are paid to care, only to be thrown into a made up world of stigma, and the worst kind of human torture there is on this planet. And when that system doesn’t work, its set up to to victim blame, so its a no-win.
I am grateful for my adult daughters and my beautiful grandchildren who were also victims to these broken systems. I hope some day my grandchildren will know to steer away from these broken systems, and know they have everything they need right inside their hearts. It’s called love and it doesn’t come from the medical/mental heath industries, politics, religion or products for sale.
It is my hope that my story will be a cautionary tale for them to look back on and know to seek out people that are not trying to damage who they are with codes, and processing, rather looking for the real people that refuse to be a part of anyone that normalizes this “factory type” work called “mental health care”.
Please go to my personal FB page and read my story in my oldest daughters words.
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Gina,
Not many people realize the connection to politics, religion and our broken medical/mental health industry. The legal abuse.
I went to the link above and went down that rabbit hole this morning and could feel your words… your pain and sadly could relate to it.
Where have you been my whole life?
So many people want to “sugar coat” this abuse to sweetness like “They only want to keep you safe” or “Not everyone that works in the industry is monsters.”
I wish I could have had used some of the raw language you have chosen to establish the realness of what it is like to be on the receiving end to this “legal abuse”.
It’s no worse than what people are willing to pay for when they go to see a horror flick. You are right, 100%!
Why do people want to look away from the horror show that is the mental health industry?
And is there really any “nice people” there? The ones that are simply not admitting to the abuse, but perhaps give a nice smile, yet do nothing about changing the status quo.
This is the issue I have with my “kind therapist”. She is kind, but how can she be *that* kind if she’s not angry enough to walk away from an industry that treats its customers worse than the animals at a meat factory?
“You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
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Gina,
Thank you for reading my story. I only wish and ask for a peaceful exit… and I hope more people will consider reading my oldest daughters words too.
Thank you for saying that I am heard, I am believed. It means a lot to me.
Our family has been severely traumatized by this terrible industry. Please find our story on my FB page in my daughters words…..
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Dear Boans,
The word “judgment” seems to have different meanings for many people. When we as society sees a psych patient that is overweight and yet not “pulling their weight” (pun intended)…and taking a bunch of prescribed harm… its difficult for some people to realize the expectations are not reasonable.
Or a psych patient that is tied up and screaming too much.
Or a psych patient that goes to a therapist for nightmares about childhood sexual abuse and gets sexually abused by the therapist and the new nightmares cause a lack of emotion and terror.
Your good friend that said that those that have evil in their heart need to have their souls ripped from them with a wire brush… wow… that is some deep, dark and real feelings! Makes me look like a wimp for just wishing I couldn’t see them, they they would just simply go away….
Thank you for saying my words provided you with comfort. I can’t stay much longer though. Life is about endings too and its all part of this human condition.
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Dear Someone Else,
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I am so sorry to read that you too have been drugged to cover up child abuse. How sickening that this is happening. I tried to tell people my whole adult life about the fuckery of religion, child abuse and medical abuse and I was deemed “mentally ill” so society just silences my truths… and I got sicker.
I don’t listen to doctors anymore. They are like pimps, pimping patients out to “specialists” and then the “specialists” give out medications like tic tacs, slowly killing the organs of beautiful beings.
Beautiful people that got trapped in that cycle which is difficult to get out of to say it mildly.
You really should be proud to have gotten off these poisons. I am sorry you still have brain zaps and some mild symptoms. For me brain zaps can not be tolerated as zapping my brain with electrodes was part of the childhood abuse I had to endure. So its a huge trigger…. and my brain has to try to remember that this brain zap isn’t a punishment like before… yet it can’t because the body remembers.
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Gina,
Thank you for reading my story. I only wish and ask for a peaceful exit… and I hope more people will consider reading my oldest daughters words too. In the link below.
Our family has been severely traumatized by this terrible industry.
https://gofund.me/2bf38518
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Grace,
I am sorry you too are suffering. Your story is also a sad one. These doctors poly-drugging humans, no matter the damages it can cause. For MONEY. Im angry at the people this hurt. Thank you for reading my story and for understanding. Also for your support as I plan to exit….
https://www.gofundme.com/f/compassionate-death-a-final-appeal-for-my-mom?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer
My daughters words are powerful too and we as a family are still seeking support. Thank you again!
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Katel,
Thank you for reading my story. It means a lot to me. I know its not the happiest of stories and yet in some ways it does bring light. Like when people reach out such as you did and say that the message has been heard and things need to change. Thank you.
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MyCin40,
Thank you for your comment. It must have been extremely emotional to come to an understanding of feeling embarrassed and ashamed to be a part of this broken system. If only more people would wake up to the understanding that this industry does in fact hurt people.
With that being said, I get it that some people benefit from having someone to remind them that these emotions are normal. It’s sad that *they* have normalized that we need to seek to pay someone in order for them to care.
Be it insurance or not.
As you pointed out the system is rigged and it starts out with people having unreasonable expectations at jobs, schools and communities, where they seek medications and therapy just to cope. Kathleen’s therapist pointed out that not all medications are “bad”. Some clients she has actually *need* anti-anxiety medications so they can work.
I think this is bullshit. Perhaps the job is unreasonable and not a fit for this person. Why is it the human…. the suffering being is at fault and not the job? Why do we as a society feel that people should be medicated or need treatment to cope with a job?
These are human beings and deserve to be heard and not simply medicated or even suggesting therapy for a job that has unreasonable exceptions. Or a job that has unsafe environments and low pay and not enough time off when their family members become ill.
Thank you for coming forward as a practitioner, someone that has been though the trainings and can see that yes, sometimes there is harm done in this industry. That is why we are MAD in AMERICA and sharing our stories, trying to validate and *listen* so we as a community can leave the next generation with facts so they can choose more compassionate healing options, and perhaps less demanding lifestyles instead of ones that can leave people feeling depleted.
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Susan,
Yes, I love how Jim Carrey used art to process powerful and painful conscious and unconscious emotions. Kathleen also used the arts and got into the music industry and then film. Many times people get misunderstood when they don’t have “typical jobs”. There is a special place in my heart for those that are willing to go outside the box and embrace art.
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BippyOne,
Thank you for your reply. I agree with you that things need to change, especially for children. Why does a society want hurt and abused children that grow up to be broken adults?
Until we stop people like doctors, therapists, hospitals, etc. from making money off of childhood atrocities, nothing will change. Follow the money.
Why teach parenting skills when theres money to be made in “problem children”?
Why normalize emotions, even extreme emotions when theres money to be made in pills, therapies, hospitals, etc?
I am sorry you too were abused as a child. You did not deserve this, I believe you and I am sorry this happened, because it should be criminal right next to this psychiatric establishment.
Thank you for validating Kathleen and her words too. it was important to her. Validation.
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Kevin,
Thank you for taking the time to write the truth. I too love the phrase, “pedagogically calcified psychotherapist”. I also agree with you that this therapist really missed a great opportunity to grow as a human being.
Sadly I think this therapist saw Kathleen as a “diagnosis”, “complex case” and not simply a fellow human.
I hate to call it good, however the only good that ever comes out of a psych hospital is meeting real people. Sadly many are societies cast offs and “complex cases” and are being drugged or getting ECT.
Its sad to me that Kathleen’s therapist hasn’t realized that her training has taught her to be distant, to see her clients as “cases” and “codes” and “complex”.
I hope some day Kathleen’s therapist realizes that each “complex case” is an opportunity for personal growth as well as the opportunity to help another being.
Sometimes it was difficult to be Kathleen’s friend because she wanted to talk about difficult topics, she wanted to speak truths, she did not want us to waste time on small talk or fake bullshit. It was difficult and one of the biggest honors I have ever experienced.
Shame on her therapist for calling Kathleen the delusional one!!
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That song made me tear up too…. thank you for sharing that, for the tears are needed to let out some of the pain….
“….I wonder if those changes
Have left a scar on you
Like all the burning hoops of fire
That you and I passed through
You’re a bluebird on a telegraph line
I hope you’re happy now
Well if the wind of change comes down your way girl
You’ll make it back somehow..” ~ E.John
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Dear LookingUp,
I hear you, I believe you and I am sorry that this fucked system hurt you. That your family didn’t give you the love you deserved and they also fell for the bullshit medical/mental health establishment to your detriment.
I can see how you relate so much to Kathleen’s story. So sad that the very people we should expect to love and care for us, our family, our doctors, and our society… only harm the vulnerable.
I too can relate on a personal level to Kathleen’s story and after spending so much time talking to her, and both of us sharing our pain and how we have been damaged by the medications and the systems. Sometimes we both had to just come to the conclusion that there are no more words, the damage is done.
Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot to me and I am honored to be able to reach out and respond to you. I want you to know that you have been heard and I believe you and I am angry and I know you deserve so much more.
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Susan,
I too read “Medication Madness” by Dr. Peter Breggin and also “Guilt, Shame and Anxiety-Understanding and Overcoming Negative Emotions.”
I have observed in my life that I have not been given too much opportunities to express what society calls “negative emotions”.
I feel these tough, dark emotions should be experienced and almost embraced. We have been taught by our current medical/mental health establishments, religions, communities and sometimes families that certain emotions should be “fixed”.
This is how we end up buying into medications, therapies, and even holistically inspired “treatments”.
There is so much beauty in allowing some of the despair, the grief and anxiety to be more normalized. We see it come out in beautiful art, music and poems. People that have tried to put words or pictures to their pain without trying to be “fixed”.
Here is an example of Jim Carrey, someone people know to make us laugh, actually sharing some of his pain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21CEOlBq2YI
After I watched this short YouTube, I looked up some of his art and allowed myself to *feel* some of my own pain.
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Kevin,
Thank you for your kind words…
I sure wish Kathleen was here to witness the outpouring of validation and compassion she so needed her whole life. <3
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Damocle,
Different religions have different “rules” of suicide, however religions also back money, health, and did I say money??
“They tell us that Suicide is the greatest piece of Cowardice… That Suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in this world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.” ~ Schopenhauer
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Katel,
Thank you for your kind words. I do hope that sharing Kathleen’s story will help some people understand there is a “gray area” within these broken systems and people, precious human beings that are being hurt and it needs to stop.
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Rebel,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me. Honoring Kathleen’s life and what she shared with all of us. There are so many broken systems out there that it seems that greed got in the way of “good intentions”.
Maybe not all humans are sick scums, however there are some people out there that sadly are somehow allowed (by society standards) to hurt the vulnerable.
I have personally experienced this type of “legal abuse” within the medial system, mental health, legal, corporations, and even religions.
In my opinion one of the most important things we can offer to our fellow humans is validation and listening to them, hearing their stories and opening up our minds to the possibility that we have been wrong about our beliefs.
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Susan,
Thank you for your kind response. I agree and feel that Kathleen’s letter should be required reading for anyone wanting to get into this broken system. Her friendship meant so much to me because she spoke the truth. Her truths. She was able to talk about the side effect of suicidal thoughts that are clearly written on the drug paperwork from the pharmacy.
Sadly, things don’t get better for everyone. I am happy for you that you have found healing. I have read about others that had a “recovery” and then another flair up years later. There is just so much unknown about these drugs and withdrawal and like Kathleen so eloquently wrote, no one really knows what happened to our brains after years of taking these medications.
With that being said, I am grateful to learn that you and some other people have found some relief. I am sorry you had to go through that torture… no one deserves that.
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JKS,
My story too is similar to Kathleen’s, my “core family” is narcissistic and invalidating. What is different in my story is that I have two beautiful adult children that see me as a human being and they have seen the fuckery of what the mental health system did to me over the years. They believe me, even though it hurts, they support me.
It is my hope that the people like you, that want to make a difference…. that perhaps they will help and support those friends & family members that really do support their loved ones but lack the extended family support for themselves.
It’s difficult to find support through all the broken systems. The doctors saying this patient is not med compliant or simply has a flair up of their “mental illness”.
Where’s the help for family that really do believe us?
“The test of a civilization is in the way that it cares for its helpless members”
― Pearl S. Buck
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Gina,
I just watched that trailer… I laughed (because the irony and so much truth, exposed) and cried and then balled my eyes out because yees, I agree… humans are sick scum upon the earth and some make money and earn fame being sick scum upon the earth.
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“….And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in…”
~ Candle in the wind; Elton John
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Rosalee,
Thank you for your comment. I could not agree with you more! The psychiatric system is nothing but sham and I too wish I could have seen it before I was further damaged by their “legal abuse”.
It’s an atrocity that families disregard their loved ones that are now have a label of “psych patient” and are no longer believed.
The silencing and exploitation of the vulnerable by our society is disgusting and I am almost ashamed to be part of this human race…. 🙁
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Sam,
Thank you for your comment, for speaking the truth. It sickens me that these people with bullshit letters after their names can cause so much harm. The slandering, the reputations ruined in the name of “help”. In the name of medical/mental health care.
Families that were “trained” to believe this bullshit, that a traumatized person needs to be fixed with labels, isolation, drugs and abuse is the worst thing we have done as humans, in my opinion.
Thank you again for your validation and understanding, I hope one day people start to see like you have said, “their trauma on top of trauma
kills!”
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Richard, I agree, Kathleen’s story should be REQUIRED READING for anyone coming anywhere near another human being in the so-called “mental health” system.
As someone that has been severely harmed by this establishment, I am angry. I am angry at the beautiful lives that were nothing but collateral damage and treated like “societies trash”.
I loved Kathleen and my friendship to her mattered and was important. I hope she is at peace now, however I am sad that she had to endure such a traumatic death, all alone and suffering. 🙁
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Sam, it’s sad when families come up with their own narrative to suit them. When I first met Kathleen, she kept sharing with me that she would repeatedly tell her family that she was the one that was suffering. It was her reality, not theirs in that moment that mattered.
It breaks my heart to lose a friend that was not afraid to break through her own family/religious trainings and allow for authentic relationships. I miss her so much, the world is a little more bleak without her.
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I agree, no one should get bad treatment. I also agree that unless we are willing to love everyone equally, even those that we do not agree with, then what we are doing is not of love. I feel that psychiatry has not shown much love and compassion to its customers. Let’s face it, any psych patient is merely a customer and the customer service sucks when it comes to psychiatry.
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I agree, the torture in the first world psychiatric facilities is as bad as anything anywhere in the world. Its “legal abuse” and I sure wish society would all agree it needs to change. Its inhumane.
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I agree, it’s horror and disgusting that the mainstream media can continue to ignore the full story of psychiatry. I call it “legal abuse”… and it continues to be swept under the rug. So unacceptable the way some human beings are treated by society.
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Thank you for your kind words. I agree, its important to get the word out about akathisia, it really is a torture and many people that are suffering lack validation.
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