Since I accepted the Project Management gig where I work most of the time in the DFW Metroplex in Texas, I’ve gone through rough patches, but all in all, it’s play. I’ve managed to get myself fired three (3) times now at this site and kicked out of my girl-friend’s house three (3) times, but I’m still here, and at the Center. Embarassing to admit. All since October 2011.
I spend most of my time requesting funds for 2012 Wellness Solutions projects, pilots, initiatives around peer supports and services in the North Texas region. I also coordinate our training, community education and outreach, special events and national conference. I now have an assistant who is wonderful..
Good kid. Means well. Works quickly which I love and he’s nice and wears a tie usually to work. He makes me dress better. I have to be nicer. Even better… I’m noticing that more and more, every day, I’m being nicer without even actively trying.
And what I’ve learned how to do in order to cope with great and tremendous change, loss, grief and reliving trauma from years ago, PTSD triggered full blown into hypervigilance, is that with my back pressed against the wall, I can pray. I pray now. I meditate now. I listen to my music and it’s sound therapy to me. It helps me focus and return to the core reason of why I work in American mental health, wellness, peer services, housing, development and am in project management. I watch my favorite old film, classics and actually have returned to the theaters for current releases.
Praying comes from hope (to me). Having hope and living hopefully and intently, authentically, honestly and having trust, faith… is prayer to me. That natural way of dreaming and then doing, came from my rebirth into accepting myself as a soulful woman. I was stripped of all spirituality before, during and after Mania of 2003. The electroconvulsive shock treatment for 2.5 years was deemed “medically and clinically necessary…” And I’ve lost memories during all of those days, nanoseconds of love, months, Christmases, Thanksgivings, friends faces to names to events to relationships… All lost in thunder claps. I’m alive today, though, and am grateful because I’m living the dream that not many people can probably ever hope to achieve… I have been gifted with a beautiful, strong, brilliant business partner and friend and confidante and lover. I’ve made new friends who I love genuinely. I get to work in mental health, psychiatric rehabilitation, advocacy, peer supports, health integration… Can you say Lucky?
Prayer. Having Hope. Knowing that Dreams do come true help..
I saw a billboard on the way back to DFW from Austin today on H-35 North outside of Georgetown. I came up with this slogan: “Saving lives. Saving Dreams.”
How true for all of us who work in this field in the name of wellness. I close here today with this thought: “”We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now qualified to do anything, with nothing.” Mother Teresa of Calcutta