Tag: eating disorder recovery

My suicidality was right about one thing: Something had to die. It just didn’t have to be me.

My method had to involve some kind of loophole so that my death wasn’t technically by my own hand. Then it came to me: my eating disorder.

I had internalized that not only would I be socially rewarded for starving myself, but also that I could only earn care by proving that I was sick enough to meet their criteria.