I have known since August 1963 that I am a schizophrenic.Ā It was then that, at the age of seventeen, I had my first schizophrenic hallucination.Ā It was a Beatific Vision.Ā From April 1965 until May 1966, I was hospitalized at McLean Hospital, given large doses of Thorazine and Stelazine, and told by so many psychiatrists in so many ways that I was a hopeless, incurable case and the sooner I realized that I could never lead a happy, productive life, the better it would be for me.
After all, āschizophreniaā¦ as everyone knows, is incurableā. These words come from Sylvia Nasarās book A Beautiful Mind, the biography of John Nash, who was also a patient at McLean Hospital.Ā Like me, he had become schizophrenic because of the repression of his homosexuality.Ā The fact that he won a Nobel Prize is so hard to explain since his schizophrenia was thought to be incurable, and this made Nasar wonder if the diagnosis of schizophrenia was indeed correct.
In Nasarās opinion, and in that of most psychiatrists, a schizophrenic is always condemned to lead an unhappy fruitless life.Ā Winning a Nobel Prize does not seem possible for someone who has been treated for schizophrenia.Ā Nor would my experience seem likely from this perspective, since I have led a most wonderful life for the past 58 years, ever since I was liberated from mental hospitals.Ā I attribute my success to five rules, which I would like to share with young schizophrenics who worry quite rightly about their future.Ā My goal is not to brag about my accomplishments, but rather to give a source of hope to young people struggling with a horrendous mental illness and who are all too apt to be pessimistic about lifeās possibilities.Ā They should simply ignore the typical psychiatric prognosis of having an incurable illness.
My five secrets to salvation are these. 1.) Never consult a psychiatrist, 2.) Never take psychiatric medicine, 3.) Go into exile, 4.) Have an active sex life, 5.) Keep religious faith.Ā I shall discuss each of them in turn.
Never consult a psychiatrist.Ā Ever since I had my first schizophrenic hallucination in 1963, I have known that I had been driven insane by my first psychiatrist, who tried to cure me of my homosexuality, while I was a student at the august Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire.Ā The attempt to change another personās sexual orientation is called conversion therapy.Ā It is now illegal throughout Canada and in twenty-six American states.Ā The Canadian government has declared it to be a form of torture.Ā Since I knew that my first psychiatrist was the cause of my mental illness, I immediately decided to have no confidence in the psychiatrists at McLean Hospital.Ā This was very wise indeed.Ā Their constant message was that schizophrenics like me are incurable and should never even dream of leading anything like a normal, happy, productive life.Ā Once a psychiatrist whom I had never seen before burst into my room and told me that I was the most severely mentally ill person that he had ever seen at McLean.Ā Another psychiatrist whom I did not know told me: āYou should never return to Harvard.āĀ My psychotherapist ended each session with the words āI never promised you a rose garden.āĀ The message was constant and ubiquitous: the prognosis for a schizophrenic like me has to be bleak.Ā Our illness is incurable.
I therefore urge all young schizophrenics to refuse to consult psychiatrists.Ā All that psychiatrists can tell you is negative and pessimistic.Ā If they really believe that you have an incurable illness, they should refuse to try to cure you.Ā It is dishonest of them, but their treatment makes them wealthy.
I have published several articles and books, in both English and French, about how the repression of homosexuality can cause schizophrenia.Ā But this reality is ignored by most contemporary discussions of schizophrenia, since the theory that is now most popular among psychiatrists is that schizophrenia is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.Ā If my hypothesis is correct, then the psychiatristsā theory is false.Ā They claim that mental illness comes from a malfunction of the brain.Ā In other words, it is a somatic illness whose origin is in the body.Ā This implies that a mental illness does not originate in the psyche, as opposed to the soma (body). By psyche I mean the soul, the mind, the conscience.Ā Todayās psychiatrists seem to deny the very existence of the psyche.Ā A psychiatrist who ignores the reality of the psyche is as useless as a dentist who denies the existence of teeth.Ā But where can psychiatrists study the mysteries of the human psyche?Ā Certainly not in textbooks of neurology and biochemistry, but rather in the great classics of Western Civilization, starting with the Greek tragedies and the Old Testament.Ā When I was at McLean, I told myself that my psychiatrists should not even dream of being able to understand my psyche unless they had read all the books that I had read.
The tendency to overlook the relationship between homosexuality and schizophrenia can even be seen in Robert Whitakerās book Mad in America, which I admire greatly.Ā He writes: āA 1921 study determined that nearly two-thirds of males diagnosed as schizophrenic had never even had sex with a woman.āĀ One implication here could be that many of those diagnosed as schizophrenic were homosexuals.Ā It requires a strong measure of naĆÆvetĆ© or puritan taboos to overlook this reality.
Never take psychiatric medicine.Ā During my thirteen months at McLean, I was forced to take powerful doses of Thorazine and Stelazine.Ā They turned me into a zombie.Ā I had horrible constipation and gained fifty pounds.Ā My brain just could not function properly because of these drugs.Ā The worst of all was that I could no longer read.Ā Reading has always been my favourite activity, but it was impossible due to the numbing effects of these neuroleptics.
The large pharmaceutical companies are the only people who benefit from the drugs that they sell.Ā It is a question of billions of dollars every year.Ā If the tranquilizers change a patientās behaviour, the change usually takes the form of less provocative actions.Ā But psychiatrists should not confuse peaceful manners with inner well-being.Ā The psyche can suffer just as much even if the patient seems to be pacified.
I know a forty-six year old schizophrenic man who takes neuroleptics with the result that he sleeps sixteen hours a day.Ā Perhaps he causes fewer problems for his parents with this regime, but it certainly cannot be called a cure.
Go into exile.Ā In 1968, at the age of twenty-two, I graduated from Harvard cum laude with honours and immediately went into permanent exile.Ā I began my life abroad in my Irish grand-motherās village in West Cork.Ā She had left in 1890 and there I was returning 78 years later.Ā When I got off the bus in her village, the conductor told me, āWelcome homeā and these two words changed my life forever.Ā I have a tee-shirt that says, āI do not need therapy.Ā I just need to go to Ireland.āĀ This is the story of my life.
I fell in love with Ireland, with the Irish people, the Irish landscape, the Irish version of the English language, and Guinness.Ā In my grandmotherās village, there were no televisions, no inside toilets, no telephones.Ā It seemed like paradise to me.Ā I vowed never to return to America and to try to avoid the twentieth century as much as possible.Ā I wanted a simple life and to live with natural, kind, and enjoyable people.Ā My Irish friends were like my hippy friends in Boston: the crazier I was, the more they loved me.
I really believe that a change of country is good for any young schizophrenic who wants to turn a page and forget the horrors that had caused his mental illness and the tortures that psychiatrists had put him through.Ā All that now belongs to the past, and you are free at last.
It was the American way of life that I found especially distasteful and impossible to accept.Ā I was rebelling against American mindless materialism, American consumerism, American ostentatious affluence, American warmongering (America was then killing four million Vietnamese people for no reason whatsoever), American racism, American homophobia, American violence and American vulgarity.Ā I really believe that it is especially difficult for a mentally ill person to become healthy while living in a sick society.
Americaās fall and decline were obvious to me and I knew that the situation would become worse and worse.
After Ireland, I moved to France and had a job teaching English at the University of Metz, and then to the University of Bonn in Germany, and then to the University of Lodz in Poland, and then to a private school in Tarragona, Spain, on the Mediterranean coast, and finally to Quebec, where I taught in a university for thirty-six years.Ā I have spent a total of nine years in Europe and forty-seven in Quebec.Ā I now speak seven languages and have published four books, three in French and one in English.Ā My first book, Le Cauchemar amĆ©ricain, was an international bestseller.Ā I have not done badly considering that I am an incurable schizophrenic.Ā Whenever I applied for jobs, I somehow forgot to include the fact that I am a schizophrenic in my curriculum vitae.Ā
Have an active sex life.Ā I always knew that my schizophrenia was caused by the forced repression of my homosexuality and that the only way to cure myself was to live openly as a homosexual, without shame, without fear, without apologizing to anyone.Ā When I was liberated from the mental hospital in 1966, I immediately fell in love with Mark, who had just escaped from a mental hospital in Connecticut, where he had been put into a straightjacket.Ā His life had been destroyed by a Catholic priest who seduced him when he was only fourteen years old.Ā We were both victims of child abuse.Ā I was merely a child, just sixteen years old, when my first psychiatrist started abusing me and destroying my life.Ā I believe that every case of child abuse should be exposed, denounced and punished, even if the child is a homosexual and even if the abuser is a psychiatrist.
Psychiatrists are not accountable to anyone.Ā They can do whatever they like.Ā If their incompetence results in the psychosis or suicide of their patients, they take no responsibility.Ā Their victims have no voice and no legal grounds to stand on.
Although Mark was heterosexual, he needed my love and friendship as much as I needed his.Ā He had been rejected and condemned by so many people, his parents, his psychiatrists, his teachers.Ā And then he discovered me and I worshipped him.Ā Both of us yearned for some form of justice, some way to express our anger at what the adults in our lives had done to us.Ā We wanted revenge.Ā We wanted to cause trouble.
I have always believed that the only real cure for schizophrenia is love.Ā Psychiatrists cannot give you love and pills are no substitute.Ā Each human being has the opportunity, indeed the obligation, to learn to love and to be loved. It is the primary task of every life. This implies also learning how to seduce and how to be seduced.Ā The greatest ideal is to have a loving monogamous relationship based on trust, confidence and fidelity.Ā But also bear in mind that without such an ideal relationship, sex without love is still better than no sex at all.Ā I have yet to read a serious study made by any psychiatrist about the sex life of schizophrenics.Ā It would be practically impossible to make such a study.Ā Most people do not want to talk about their sexual lives and, if they do, there is no way of knowing if they are telling the truth.Ā The people least likely to tell the truth about their sexual activities are those who repress their homosexuality, and they are the ones who are most apt to develop schizophrenia.
Keep religious faith.Ā I know very well that I would never have been able to survive the horrors of American psychiatry in the sixties had I not had an invincible faith in God.Ā God may not exist, but my faith in God certainly does exist.Ā I am simply unable to live without God.Ā I do not envy people whose lives have been so simple that they have never needed to pray.
This is my advice: if you have any kind of religious faith, cherish it.Ā I am not talking about organized religions or churches or dogmas or doctrines.Ā I am talking about the simple idea that God loves me just as I am.Ā No psychiatrist will come between my God and me.Ā When I had my Beatific Vision in 1963, I promised God that I would never doubt the veracity of this revelation.Ā Everyone else might consider my ecstatic vision of the Light to be nothing but a meaningless schizophrenic hallucination, but for me it would always remain an affirmation of the eternal Truth.Ā God promised me in return that no harm would ever befall me, either in life or in death.
Throughout all my life, I have been reading books about the relationship between schizophrenia and theology.Ā The subject is obviously taboo.Ā Theologians refuse to discuss it with me because they know nothing about schizophrenia.Ā Psychiatrists have no competence to talk about it since they know nothing about theology.Ā Here is an example of this dilemma.Ā Five hundred years before Christ, Isaiah ran around Jerusalem naked shouting messages coming from God and the Jewish wisemen said: āThis weird behaviour is proof that Isaiah is a prophet of God.āĀ In 1965 I ran around the North Belknap 2 ward of McLean Hospital naked and shouting messages coming from God and the wise psychiatrists said: āThis weird behaviour is proof that Robert Dole is a schizophrenic.āĀ The symptoms were exactly the same in the two cases.Ā All that changed was the vocabulary.Ā It would be just as blasphemous to call Isaiah a schizophrenic as it would be to call me a prophet.
One month after my Beatific Vision in 1963 I started reading the books of the German theologian Paul Tillich.Ā I soon realized that he had also had a Beatific Vision, since he accurately described my own experience with such words as āGod reveals Himself while remaining veiled,ā āThe Eternal breaks into the temporal,ā āThe ground of all being,ā āAccept that you are accepted,ā āEcstasy.ā
I told myself that since my vision was obviously a schizophrenic hallucination, then so was Paul Tillichās.Ā This meant that the most famous theologian of the twentieth century was a schizophrenic.Ā It is hard to imagine the joy that I felt in 1995, thirty years after Tillichās death, when I read the book Paul Tillich First-Hand, A Memoir of the Harvard Years, by Tillichās secretary Grace CalĆ.Ā On page 20 we find this exchange between Tillich and CalĆ: āāYou know, Paulus,ā I said hesitantly, āIāve often wondered how you have kept from becoming schizophrenic.āĀ At my words, he bolted upright in his chair. āBut thatās just it ā I am!āā
I consider my schizophrenia to be incurable simply because I refuse to give up my religious convictions and commitments.Ā I still believe that my Beatific Vision was a revelation of eternal Truth although any psychiatrist would say that it was nothing but a meaningless hallucination.Ā The major spiritual crisis of our civilization today is that for too many people, nothing is sacred.Ā Without the sacred, life becomes meaningless.Ā It is meaninglessness that is the major cause of mental illness.
If I persist in thinking that my friend Mark Frechette was the Second Coming of Christ, no psychiatrist can convince me that I am wrong.Ā For insanity consists essentially in fervently believing something that no one else believes.Ā When Mark was in prison in 1974, I told him: āYou are the suffering Christ.āĀ I meant it as a metaphor, but when he was killed one year later at the age of twenty-seven what once was a metaphor became a theological reality.
To conclude, if you are a young schizophrenic, I encourage you to accept the challenge of leading a happy, productive, meaningful life, despite all the challenges and hardships and the pessimism of psychiatrists with their bleak prognoses.Ā Just tell yourself, if Robert Dole could do it, then so can I.Ā And please remember that it is we crazy people who change the world and that the world needs real changes now more than ever.
Thanks for sharing your story, Robert. I like your title, it’s rather a good FU to those who, very literally, create both the positive and negative symptoms of “schizophrenia,” with their antipsychotic / neuroleptic “treatments.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxidrome (via anticholinergic toxidrome)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroleptic-induced_deficit_syndrome
“All that psychiatrists can tell you is negative and pessimistic.” I’ve found the same to be true of the incorrectly assuming, DSM “bible” billing, attempted anticholinergic toxidrome murdering, and appalling conservatorship contract handing out, computer hacking, attempted thieving, psychologists, too.
“I believe that every case of child abuse should be exposed, denounced and punished, even if the child is a homosexual and even if the abuser is a psychiatrist” … or even a local “cocaine dealer” or pastor.
I agree, and both the psychological and psychiatric fields have a proven history of systemically covering up child abuse, which of course is illegal.
https://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2019/01/23/18820633.php?fbclid=IwAR2-cgZPcEvbz7yFqMuUwneIuaqGleGiOzackY4N2sPeVXolwmEga5iKxdo
https://www.madinamerica.com/2016/04/heal-for-life/
But it is by DSM design.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-child-does-not-have-bipolar-disorder/201402/dsm-5-and-child-neglect-and-abuse-1
And in as much as I had to leave my ex-religion, because they are “partnered with” the DSM “bible” billers, resulting in the leaders of my ex-religion becoming a bunch of systemic child abuse cover uppers and thieves, too.
https://books.google.com/books?id=xI01AlxH1uAC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_
r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false
I do agree, maintaining a loving relationship with God is important. But I don’t agree with you when you say,
“I consider my schizophrenia to be incurable simply because I refuse to give up my religious convictions and commitments.”
Instead, I think the psychologic and psychiatric industries should stop systemically defaming Spirit moved people, and believers in God … especially in the US, since that is also illegal behavior, on the part of the psychologic and psychiatric industries, in this country.
I do agree, however, “Without the sacred, life becomes meaningless,” so I, too, won’t stop believing in the Triune God.
And I also agree, “it is we crazy people [or us sane people living within insane societies and times] who change the world and that the world needs real changes now more than ever.” We are the “canaries in the coal mine,” and we do need major systemic change.
God help us. And God bless, Robert, I’m glad you escaped the insanity of today’s insane and “invalid” DSM deluded psychiatric, psychological, et al system. Thank you, again, for sharing your story.
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I’ve been trying to say this for years but your manner of writing really brings the site down and indrectly affects anyone who uses MIA to get some credence to their experiences.
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That seems like an insult, registerforthissite. Did I read your comment incorrectly? If I read your comment incorrectly, please clarify.
But please keeping in mind, I have a right to be appalled at psychology and psychiatry, since I actually did deal with criminal abuse of both psychology and psychiatry … and these are systemic crimes against many … not just me.
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I already posted in detail why I have a gripe with your writing. Looks like the reply is not being approved because of whatever reasons.
You still don’t get it. My problem is not with you expressing your gripes with the mental health industry (we all do it here) but rather with HOW you do it and your manner of writing.
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I did not reply to your comment.
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Just let it go…registered for this site…just let it go.
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thank you so much
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That’s an amazing article. I am definitely gonna look for hot sex with a fit man. Lol
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Thank you so much for your wisdom.
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This article is anti psychiatry.
Schizophrenia is a real illness just like any other.
I’ve been diagnosed with it.
I’ve been ill on meds and off meds.
I have a comorbid anxiety disorder with it which makes it so much harder to treat.
This illness has wasted my life for 27 years now and was absolutely devastating for me and my family.
The suffering was unbearable.
No hope on meds and no hope off meds.
I’ve persevered with so many different treatments but with no success.
I’m still fighting.
Without meds patients are worse off.
Please don’t mislead people with your supposed “success”story.
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A couple of questions:
1) What do you mean “a real illness like any other?” How do you define “illness?”
2) If you are “ill” both on and off “meds,” and experienced “no success,” why are you so sure that “without meds patients are worse off?”
3) Is it possible in your mind for some people to be better “on meds” and others to be better “off meds?”
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I like how the word “antipsychiatry” has been defamed to the point that you can just use it like it’s a magic wand that will simply shut people’s mouth and by default invalidate everything that they have to say. The mental health industry has done a good job of trying to make it so.
Yes, hallucinations and delusions (much like panic attacks or depression) are real and they can be very crippling (and also long lasting). If meds or whatever help they’re offering you is helping you, take them and move on. Or keep fighting as you’ve written. The things that work for you don’t have to work for others and they’re entitled to writing their opinions just like you’ve presented yours.
I could easily say “please don’t mislead people with your story of misery” as well. It seems that the psychiatrists and psychologists helping you have fed you a certain narrative too. Whatever problems you have as a result of which you’ve been categorised with “schizophrenia” don’t have to be the problems of someone else categorised with the same term. There is no single “schizophrenia” and individuals are given multiple categorisations. People are also different in terms of how they perceive and deal with their problems. Hence, the things that work for you don’t have to work for others and vice versa.
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You’ve mentioned you’ve been “diagnosed” with schizophrenia but you haven’t even given a few examples of what your issues actually are. Do you perceive the TV as talking to you? Do you irrationally think that someone is out to hurt you even when they are not?
Another thing: no matter how much psychiatrists feed you that “schizophrenia”, “borderline personality disorder” etc. are diagnoses, they are not. They are categorisations and should be seen as such. They don’t explain why you have the problems you have.
Malaria is a diagnosis for why you have a fever. It explains why your body temperature is elevated beyond normal. “Schizophrenia” explains why you have the problems you have the same way “Poor Mathematics Disorder” explains why someone is bad at mathematics. Keep this in mind because it’s important in terms of how you perceive why you’re going through what you are. It’s not merely semantics and playing with words.
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Every person is unique. Even every schizophrenic is unique. I am sorry that you have suffered so much. I have also suffered horribly, but I have managed to find my own way to salvation. I hope that you find yours.
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For real dud….for real ..
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Merci pour ce partage mon cher Robert, il est plein d’espoir pas seulement pour les schizophrĆØnes, mais aussi pour tous ceux qui ont un dĆ©ficit mineur ou majeur. TDAH, dyslexie, troubles comportemental etc… Il est la preuve que le combat que l’on mĆØne au plus profond de soi peut ĆŖtre gagnant .
Il faut du discernement et non seulement de la thĆ©orie dans le monde de la santĆ© mentale. Il est certain qu’un psychiatre est un dieu devant un juge.
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BTW, I love this website and have used it for 10 years.
The author of this article has understandably described many of his experiences. Amongst this, he has expressed “I therefore urge all young schizophrenics to refuse to consult psychiatrists. All that psychiatrists can tell you is negative and pessimistic. If they really believe that you have an incurable illness, they should refuse to try to cure you. It is dishonest of them, but their treatment makes them wealthy.”
The author is perfectly entitled to his opinion, but I’d ask readers to read statements like that at their own discretion. If psychiatrists and psychiatric meds are helping you, don’t hesitate to see/use them. Even if psychiatrists are not helping you (or they are even harming you) but psychiatric meds are still helpful, unfortunately, even if begrudingly, you might need those psychiatrists to procure the drugs.
So, it is your choice to go to them and the statements of the author shouldn’t by default dissauade your from seeing professionals in the mental health industry. His experiences (even if shared by another certain set of people) do not have to be the same as yours.
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When I begin to feel good about myself I usually go to my psychiatrist he knows how to knock me down a few notches, just to make me feel like sh*% again..When I begin to have hope he is very good at convincing me that I am delusional…and I need more drugs.
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I recommend reading Robert Whitaker’s books before agreeing to take psychiatric medicine.
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Thank you so much for your wisdom and strength. Very important meassages in the text about the problems in psychiatric care, the diagnosis, the dominating biomedical approach and longterm use of antipsychotic drugs. Dialogue like in Open Dialogue and love from family and yourself can help you back to life and independency. To a human with power to create.
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Unfortunately, there are plenty of horrible families that use the threat of Psychiatry and psychiatrists to silence, blackmail and subjugate their kin in order to impose their views/rules on them or to just get away with doing nasty things on the side (stuff like extramarital affairs or the like). “Shut your mouth and keep quiet or else….”
“Love from family” is a far cry for many, given that family is a big reason for them ending up in Psychiatry in the first place. Psychiatrists in some of those cases just make everything worse because nothing is done to the family (especially if they are wealthier and more powerful), but the victim is met with the full force of psychiatrists and gets trapped in the psychiatric merry-go-round and is screwed for life.
Of course, not all families or relatives are that way. Sometimes there are good families who genuinely care about their relatives but are helpless in dealing with their problems or are legitimately fed up of them (maybe a family member chronically hoards or abuses alcohol or whatever) and seek the help of the mental health industry because they don’t know what else to do.
Both of those are different cases. But the former case is barely ever spoken about because it jeopardises a lot of people, including the careers of psychiatrists. It makes them culpable in abuse, so they’ll never accept it. Who cares? There’s 500 new people suffering from depression, anxiety etc., so the screwed over guy fades into obscurity. Even if it is spoken about, practically, there’s barely any recognition of those issues and help from the mental health industry.
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does mclean still use thorazine today?
absolute disgrace. best psychiatric hospital in america? what a joke.
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Thank you for this insightful article. I used to be a “young schizophrenic”; now I’m a middle-aged former schizophrenic. Despite the illness, I also lived a wonderful life. I stand by your first three points! They were also very important in my recovery.
We are the lucky ones, but hopefully our stories will become more common.
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You leave out the minor detail of how a schizophrenic pays for rent, food, and such.
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I forgot to mention , Yes some psychiatrist called me the name of Schizophrenia 37 years ago.
And just my left hand is Homosexual for the odd time for my self pleasure, sometimes my right hand, but they change back to Heterosexual. JOKE
And for the no sex thing “two-thirds of males diagnosed as schizophrenic had never even had sex with a woman.ā . If you have E.D. from the psych drugs then you can’t have sexual relations. A chicken and egg paradox or which came first that can never be solved.
Married volunteers got to try…
2006 “Sildenafil in the Treatment of Antipsychotic-Induced Erectile Dysfunction: A Randomized, Double-Blind, Placebo-Controlled, Flexible-Dose, Two-Way Crossover Trial”
Abstract
OBJECTIVE: Antipsychotic-induced erectile dysfunction is a significant clinical problem and is a common reason for poor medication compliance. This report studied the efficacy and tolerability of sildenafil citrate in patients with antipsychotic-induced erectile dysfunction.
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Like everyone else, a schizophrenic pays for his rent and food with the money that he makes with his job.
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Fascinating essay, thank you very much, indeed, Robert and MIA.
I happen to believe we are all rapidly becoming enlightened nowadays – that, at least potentially, therefore, we are all “the second coming of Christ” insofar as it is actually taking place in – or through – all of us, in other words.
In “The Power of Now,” Eckhart Tolle wrote:
‘CHRIST: THE REALITY OF YOUR DIVINE PRESENCE
Don’t get attached to any one word. You can substitute “Christ” for presence, if that is more meaningful to you. Christ is your God-essence or the Self, as it is sometimes called in the East. The only difference between Christ and presence is that Christ refers to your indwelling divinity regardless of whether you are conscious of it or not, whereas presence means your awakened divinity or God-essence.
Many misunderstandings and false beliefs about Christ will clear if you realize that there is no past or future in Christ. To say that Christ was or will be is a contradiction in terms. Jesus was. He was a man who lived 2000 years ago and realized divine presence, his true nature. And so he said: “Before Abraham was, I am.” He did not say: “I already existed before Abraham was born.” That would have meant that he was still within the dimension of time and form identity. The words I am used in a sentence that starts in the past tense indicate a radical shift, a discontinuity in the temporal dimension. It is a Zen-like statement of great profundity. Jesus attempted to convey directly, not through discursive thought, the meaning of presence, of self-realization. He had gone beyond the Consciousness dimension governed by time, into the realm of the timeless. The dimension of eternity had come into this world. Eternity, of course, does not mean endless time, but no time. Thus, the man Jesus became Christ, a vehicle for pure consciousness. And what is God’s self-definition in the Bible? Did God say, “I have always been, and I always will be?” Of course not. That would have given reality to past and future. God said, “I AM THAT I AM.” No time here, just presence.
The “second coming” of Christ is a transformation of human consciousness, a shift from time to presence, from thinking to pure consciousness, not the arrival of some man or woman. If “Christ” were to return tomorrow in some externalized form, what could he or she possibly say to you other than this: “I am the truth. I am divine presence. I am eternal life. I am within you. I am here. I am Now.”‘
Carl Jung wrote: āThe meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.ā
I believe true healing can hardly occur unless the parties involved fall completely, utterly, unconditionally in love with each other somewhere during their interaction, but that this requires absolutely no sexual attraction, whatsoever.
āThe meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.ā
ā Carl Gustav Jung.
At approx. Min. 31:30-Min. 33:10 of this movie,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed3vPb9bmcw ,
Jung speaks of falling sexually in love with an archetype, explaining how this can be a radically different thing from the transformation he speaks of elsewhere, and as described by one analysand, all during the (magical) Minutes: 39:34-41:25 of that same documentary!
Gospel of Mark 3:21; When his family[a] heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, āHe is out of his mind.ā
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%203%3A20-35&version=NIV
Gospel of Mark: 1:41: ‘Jesus was indignant.[a] He reached out his hand and touched the man. āI am willing,ā he said. āBe clean!ā’
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%201%3A41&version=NIV
Please see also:
https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/biblical-topics/bible-interpretation/does-the-gospel-of-mark-reveal-jesus-anger-or-his-compassion/
Ah, what’s not to love about Mark, or Mark, or Robert, or Jung, or Jesus – or any of us, at the end of the day…once we make the unconscious conscious?
Much love, to all.
Tom.
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In the Gospel, Jesus talks about a future Son of Man. It will be one person, not a movement of people. He is also called the Messiah, the Parousia, the Second Coming of Christ. He will arrive at a moment in time chosen by God, according to the Bible. The German theologian Paul Tillich thought that the twentieth century was the appointed time, which he called the Kairos. Perhaps I should not have read Tillich’s books sixty years ago, but I did and that might explain why I have such strange theological beliefs.
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As an “old guy”, now 76 years of age, I would like to briefly share an account of my own life lived with so called “incurable schizophrenia”. My experiences are of course somewhat different to those of Robert Dole but in a number of respects echo his.
I vividly recall my first psychotic experience when I was about 4 years old. It occurred at kindergarten. The teacher was reading the story of Hansel and Gretel. To the other kids it was apparently just a story. To me it was really happening. The teacher, in my mind, became the wicked witch and I was terrified. I started crying. There were apparently other incidences before that but I can’t remember them with any clarity. Needless to say with such a disposition, I grew up to be regarded as a rather strange and troubled person.
This sensitivity has remained with me all of my life although the way I handle it has slowly changed over time. Some movies however could still easily trigger a psychotic episode if I was foolish enough to attend them.
By the standards of the 1950’s – 1960’s, I was not in any way abused as a child. My parents were reasonable people who married once and stayed together their whole life. My mum told me that I had a difficult birth and nearly didn’t make it. Perhaps that was the “cause” of my extreme sensitivity perhaps it was just nature. Who knows and does it really matter?
Evaluating my own experiences according to Robert Dole’s “five secrets to salvation”
1.Never consult a psychiatrist.
My first encounter with a psychiatrist was when I was around 21 years old. I was employed and earning a fairly good wage at the time. He charged me about a month’s wages for an initial visit. I couldn’t afford it so I never returned. I also felt angry about being ripped off after turning to someone for help.
My next encounter with psychiatrists was when I was 23 years old. I was involuntarily hospitalised and diagnosed with schizophrenia after I started hearing “god” voices. These hospital psychiatrists were a mixed bunch. I reached out for help which I desperately wanted at the time but didn’t receive much. People who knew me back then said I went into hospital a fairly normal person and came out several months later as a complete “nut case”. For the next 14 years or so I was in and out of hospital more times than I can recall for short periods following psychotic episodes.
During that 14 year period there were a number of other psychiatrists. None were any help. I also regularly saw a highly regarded private psychologist for about 3 years. He told me that some people get better by themselves and some don’t but he had no idea why. I suppose this was an honest if not particularly encouraging viewpoint.
2.) Never take psychiatric medicine
I have tried all sorts of psychiatric medication. This included several years of attempting to self medicate with cannabis. None of it was helpful leaving me feeling demotivated and “brain dead”. About 25 years ago a hospital psychiatrist suggested that I try using an atypical anti-psychotic on an “as needed” basis by self monitoring my prodromal psychotic symptoms. This took a lot of self discipline but worked quite well for me for many years. When I was hospitalised about 5 years ago for a non psychiatric medical condition I had to declare my use of anti-psychotics. When they found out how I was using them they got very upset. Since then the local state mental health people have come to my home on a number of occasions, sometimes with police, claiming that I am a danger to society etc and trying to coerce me into agreeing to long term anti psychotic “depot” injections.
With the help of a psychologist I transitioned off all anti psychotics and have been completely psychiatric medication free for about 3 years.
3.) Go into exile
I never did that although I have travelled around the world quite a bit. Sometimes those travel experiences were terrifying. One psychiatrist, many years ago, suggested I go and live in the country. It was probably good advice which for various reasons I never followed. Whenever I visit or stay awhile in a country area I notice how much more peaceful it is than the city. Even today I find the “energy” of busy city areas or even shopping malls difficult to tolerate for any period of time. These days I live on the city fringe only a few minutes drive from open country and about 15 minutes drive to the mountains which I frequent regularly
4.)Have an active sex life
Up until quite recently I had an active heterosexual sex life although for me sexual interest and activity has diminished significantly with age. Sexual energy is seldom spoken about in relation to psychosis or mental health in general. This is probably due to professionals being fearful of being labelled as Freudians. I believe this is a big mistake. Sexual energy is enormously powerful. It is probably on par with survival energy/instinct. I believe that both can get a person with schizophrenic tendencies into a lot of trouble if they don’t understand and learn how to manage it.
5.)Keep religious faith
At the time I was first hospitalised I was an active and practising member of a main stream Christian (Presbyterian) community. The hospitalisation separated me from all that. On a couple of occasions I tried to get involved again with religion without much success. Even before my first hospitalisation, I was, like many people struggling with many of the concepts of religion.
That said, the big turning point in my mental health journey came about when I joined a 12 step group with a religious/spiritual basis. I have been attempting to follow a so called spiritual/mystical path ever since. I am very familiar with the work of people like Stan Groff and many others but progress in this area has been slow to say the least. I have found it hard to find mental health professionals willing to even talk about these things and in my experience, many but not all so called spiritual teachers don’t seem to understand or sometimes even want anything to do with people who experience psychosis. I have also come across many who simply can’t “walk the talk”
Have I had a successful life?
All in all I feel my life has been hard and at times very difficult. Coming out publicly a couple of years ago and announcing my mental health problems, after a life time of being ashamed, embarrassed and secretive about it was one of the most difficult and traumatic things I have ever done. People who had known me for years distanced themselves from me and my long term relationship very nearly came to an end. Just the word schizophrenia seems to terrify and alienate many people.
In a material sense I suppose my life has been reasonably successful but in a spiritual sense I feel there is still a long way to go and I am running out of time and energy.
Then again, if I had followed the advice offered by advocates of the biomedical mental health approach, which is by far the most predominant one offered in Australia, it is unlikely that I would still be alive today. There is therefore a certain amount of satisfaction when people describe me as a psychiatric survivor.
These days I work in a voluntary capacity with a small independent mental health advocacy group that I helped establish. (https:\\PinkPantherActivists.au) This work is supposed to be rewarding but unfortunately is often frustrating and disappointing. I also run a small jazz group – Maroondah Jazz Jammers (https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/maroondah-jazz-jammers/). It is a safe space for people with intellectual and other disabilities or mental health problems. We welcome people irrespective of disabilities or musical abilities. I feel quite proud when told that we have one of the best jams in Melbourne.
So what is success anyhow?
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You have every reason to be proud of what you have done with your life.
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Tim, I found that an absolutely totally, utterly and completely – and entirely – awesome essay, thank you very, very, very much, indeed!
If you jam jazz anything like that, they ought to be banging your doors down, up Top End or wherever you are Down Under.
(BTW, why is it, do you think, that there seems (to me, anyway) to be such a disproportionately large numer of Aussies who contribute to MIA as well as to The Conversation US?)
Your most awesome essay ended with a most awesome question, Tim:
“What is success?”
From our human or our divine point of view, or both?
Perhaps here’s an instance of both:
Maybe “God” had a wonderful success that June day She figured out how to get through to me – again (after they’d drugged me witless for 82 days+)?
I found myself sharing a departure lounge in Dublin Airport, Ireland, with a lot of teenaged girls, all milling merrily around in the plum sweatshirts.
On the back of each (I think it was) in large, white, block capitals was
“WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO”
and, on the front (I think it was)
“IF YOU KNEW YOU COULDN’T FAIL?”
I automatically read each shirt (I think it was) at least once, automatically reading that “couldn’t” as a “wouldn’t,” the “if you knew you couldn’t fail” as “if you knew you wouldn’t fail” in my mind rather than that “you must not” or you ought not” or you coudl not afford to” fail, of course.
And I knew what I would, could and must do, too, of course, when it was finally put to me like that.
What I could not figure out, of course, but one day may, is why, on Earth, if “God” wished me to read such a question and such a divine message over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, She would choose to write it across teenaged girls backs and fronts.
What I knew that shy, antisocial I must and would and could do, though, of course, was to approach perfect strangers and to do my very best to make them laugh…even if this also entailed asking them why, oh why, oh why, oh WHY “God” might choose such conspicuously inappropriate places to write me Her messages.
So, for me, success is when any such stranger fails to turn away, or to gather her infants in closer to her chest, or to tell me “I’m good,” or to tell me to take care, or to ask if I need a water. But, hey, even this is success, too, so much sweeter does it make the next victory, or failure to completely weird, promptly. And, anyway I reckon it can’t be long now before I am through this awkward phase of my growth when I am still young enough to be scary and old enough to be creepy, too.
Being able to read a essay such as yours in MIA, knowing something of what it must have cost you and Bob Whitaker and Steve McCrae and everyone else to get here, Tim, THAT is a most enormous success, too – not least because it so wonderfully and convincingly reminds me that every moment soon can and must be better than any of the very best moments of, say, Crocodile Dundee (I), or of The Gods Must Be Crazy (I), or of “How to Train Your Dragon (I, II or III) etc., and that, when they are not, it is only because, mistakes, transgressions, failures, foibles and frailties and all, we have momentarily once more forgotten that we are all, all appearnces to the contrary notwithstanding, “God,” and could not be other.
And it WAS pretty heartening to witness two US debaters last night seeming unable to stop themselves reaching out to one another, before, during adn especially afterwards – wasn’t it?!
Maybe THEY have been reaading MIA, too, Tim – and maybe we have been praying for them, and they for each other, after all?
Thank YOU, Tim, and all, and rest you merry!
Tom.
To err is divine; to forgive, human: What would you ATTEMPT to do……….if you KNEW you couln’t fail?
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I thank my readers for sharing their stories with me and with others. Solidarity among psychiatric survivors is precious. I would love to hug all of you. Best wishes from Robert Dole.
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