Personal Stories

People with “lived experience” tell of their interactions with psychiatry and how it impacted their lives, and of their own paths to recovery.

State Hospital Memories: More of My Story

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The Detroit Free Press did an excellent job in bringing to light the conditions at Pontiac, its loss of accreditation, and closing. Still, they didn't quite grasp the severity of violence there.
A black rubber duck stands out among a group of yellow rubber ducks

“Please Be Normal!” My Experience Working for NAMI

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At my job with a NAMI affiliate, I heard daily from people who looked at family members with “mental illness” as non-people, non-human, the “other.” In the office, it was no different. If NAMI had a tagline, it would be “Please be normal like us.”
mental health awakening

My Mental Health Awakening

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Although it’s taken me a while to acknowledge my right to be in this world, I know that I am not “mentally ill,” but rather have a dynamic spiritual and emotional sensitivity to this world. I am here for a reason, and having to go into the depths of a very dark cave in order to see the light is how I was able to grow and discover that I don't have to take medications for the rest of my life.

The “Shotgun Method” – A Story of Mental Health Crisis in Iceland

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"Let's try the shotgun method," my psychiatrist said — meaning that you load the gun with a bunch of pellets and hope that one of them hits the target. I went through 16 different psychiatric medications in five years, and they were not the right choice for me.
Abraham McNeill

Eulogy for Abraham Leighton McNeill

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A friend said to me recently, "Oh, he suffered such a lot. That’s over for him." I know their words were intended to comfort me over my son’s suicide. Our fine, excellent son, Abraham, had committed suicide a month before Christmas 2019. Nevertheless, I bridled inwardly at the suggestion, not wanting to remember Abraham as merely the sum of his sufferings—he was so much more than that.

Abused by Psychiatrists After a BPD Misdiagnosis

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If you don't realize that you are autistic, your intellectual, sensory, social, and emotional differences are a mystery, even to you.

Called by God: Dealing With Depression and Psychosis

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God supported me during my psychosis. I was afraid that I would lose God when I took antipsychotics again. That had happened after my first forced medication.

Out of the Abyss (with a Little Help from My Friends)

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An ER doctor told me I was experiencing venlafaxine withdrawal, then told me to go home and take care of myself. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to enter pure hell.

How I Learned to Safely Taper off Psychiatric Drugs, and You Can Too

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I made a series of videos with psychologist and researcher Anders Sørensen, answering the questions that haunted me the most throughout my tapering process.

The Poison Isn’t the Medicine: Antipsychotics, Mania and Sleep

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To test the theory that a lack of sleep would trigger mania and resumption of sleep would restore health, I conducted what I thought would be a straightforward experiment: while still on lithium and a low dose of antipsychotics, I suppressed sleep for a few days.
akathisia

Akathisia: Very Nearly the Death of Me

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Akathisia is truly an indescribable thing—and has to be one of the most hellish experiences on earth. It’s like your brain is hijacked. Every day I thought could be my last.

I Want Change

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Only two hours after we got home, Dan fearlessly told me of the suicide plan that he'd devised while in the hospital. He had all that time to think about it while nobody was listening. He'd lost his dignity, his identity and his place in society. He had lost the will to live.

My Beautiful Psychosis: A Soul Process

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To say a person is out of touch with reality is to ignore the validity of the reality that they are in touch with. This is not only disempowering, but also fails to celebrate the journey that the person is on.
crime scene school shooters

Calm, Organized, Homicidal Behaviour – My Connection to School Shooters

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There is little doubt in my mind that many school shooters were in an antidepressant-induced state of psychosis, which is a loss of contact with reality that makes it difficult to distinguish between what is real and what is not real. That's what happened to me. I started taking 60mg of Paxil a day. Three days later, I planned my suicide. Then I planned a murder.
marijuana psychosis

Mania or Marijuana?

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Is marijuana to blame for my mental health issues? Strange things started happening in my mind once I started using the medical-grade weed.

The Strength in Sensitivity: Becoming a “Borderline” Psychotherapist

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I'm a licensed psychotherapist in private practice. I'm also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
Caleb Chafe

A Best Kept Secret

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After working in the field, I have found that the majority of people in the mental health system are not getting adequate care like I received during my first psychotic episode. I was lucky enough to have a doctor who took a nontraditional approach to schizophrenia and worked with me on coming off of medications.
child psychiatrist zoloft suicidal

Letter to My Child’s Psychiatrist

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Dear Doctor, I wonder if you remember my son... you only spent about ten minutes with him, exactly four days after his first suicide attempt. I asked you if his medication, Zoloft, had anything to do with what was happening. You looked at me and said, "There's no way of knowing; there are too many factors involved."

Surviving and Thriving After a Diagnosis of Schizophrenia

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I have wanted to go public with my story ever since I started getting so dramatically better via holistic means, but I consistently chickened out. It wasn’t until I hopped on a plane to Boston to meet other psychiatric survivors at the Mad in America Film Festival in 2014 that I found the community and forum to do so.
snapshots of spring

Snapshots of Spring: Journeying Off Psych Meds After 20 Years of Compliance

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My prayer to be taken out of my misery was answered, just not the way I used to envision. I managed to escape the system and here I am in the same lifetime, alive and well. I’m slowly getting acquainted with this new setup and am eternally grateful for yet another opportunity at life, which I hope does not slip through my fingers.

A Psychiatrist Remembers His Recovery from Schizophrenia

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A psychiatrist since 1949, I was psychiatrically hospitalized on December 21, 1963 at New York City's Mt. Sinai Hospital.   I stayed for three months,...

Us, Too: Sexual Violence Against People Labeled Mentally Ill

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In light of the recent events and media discussions pertaining to the issue of sexual violence, we feel that it is of the utmost importance to speak out about this issue in the context of psychiatry and the treatment of those perceived as mentally ill.

Meditation Triggered My Psychosis; Reiki Healed It

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James and I started talking about how we each fell on the path as seekers. He told me that he was a reiki master. A seed was planted within me. Even though my previous meditation practice did not work out, I still had spiritual longings and wanted to try again.

So Long, Psych Meds: Escaping the Medication Maze

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There was a time when I could think of nothing else but pills and prescriptions, pain and panic. Psychiatry shrank my world.

A Nurse’s Nightmare: Child Nearly Dies from ADHD Drug

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My hope and prayer is that this dramatic look at a negative effect of this class of drugs will help you understand that, in my professional assessment, their risks outweigh their benefits.