Monday, April 23, 2018

Comments by Alex

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  • Samruck, thanks for the response, although I do not identify with being ignorant about these issues. I simply offered my perspective from my experience. I don’t see it as “an attitude,” the way you put it. My only interest and focus is that people be allowed to heal by whatever process suits them best, and that is for them to discover and decide, along with, perhaps, whatever support they trust and with whom they feel safe, for feedback. Period.

  • Hi Gabi, very thoughtful reply, thank you. I appreciate your openness in hearing my perspective and for sharing from where you are coming.

    I’m a psychiatric survivor with my own complex and thorough story of many years drugged, then rugged withdrawal which took a few years, then really great holistic healing came my way, and I even pursued a legal action against the system, for discrimination, which I won. I had been a Marriage Family Therapist intern back in the late 90s, but I defected the field when I realized it was only crashing me–and because it was so obviously based on power dynamics and “othering,” which is what my awakening was really about–whereas subsequent years of energy healing and training worked wonders for me, and is based on radical self-responsibility. I found that in particular to be empowering, as well as opening the doors to radical healing.

    I’ve also been married for 33 years. I was the one with diagnoses and on drugs, but we both had our own demons to face at the same time. It was not a one-sided situation, not in the slightest. Our story of multiple role-reversals during this very intense time for us, that we tell together, opens a lot of eyes. I’ll just say that for now. Perhaps one day we’ll write a book together, when the timing seems right for us to do so.

    On the other side of all this, I’m a mind/body/spirit energy healing practitioner, meditation teacher, musical performer, and I’ve made a feature length film regarding stigma and discrimination in the mental health system which got passed around various mental health communities.

    My story, at the core, is of family healing. That is what I base my entire journey on, starting from before diagnosis, 36 years ago. I have since healed with my family, finally, and in order to do so, the roles HAD to change. Otherwise, I would have been stuck in the same role as always, and at my age (in my 50s), that’s not really an attractive prospect, so I did tons of work in this vein for years and years–involving a lot of challenging truth-communicating, and also shifts in my own perspective and self-perception, and it has paid off handsomely.

    I’m well-individuated from all that, and it’s hard for them, but I’m still there for them when they need support. It was extremely challenging to break the family system, but I believe everyone is better off for it, because at that point, our paths became our own, and I ceased to be enmeshed in that system. I know with certainty that this is what allowed me to heal in the way I had wanted to and that I envisioned I could, when no one else thought I would. Well, I did!

    I guess that, overall, each situation is unique and brings with it unique circumstances which we all do try to address best we can with what we know at that moment. I very much admire your insights regarding your situation, and your obvious fortitude. Not easy situations at all, but indeed, we learn and grow from them. My hope for myself and others always is that suffering can fall by the wayside to be replaced with enjoying life–at least some of the time!

    “At the end of the day, the situation is one long reminder that we can never understand another person and have to judge favorably as far as possible.”

    Love this, and yes I agree, we learn to deepen our compassion–for others and also for ourselves. If we allow ourselves to become drained and tattered, we are no good to anyone. At the same time, we have the opportunity to expand our hearts, and to me, that is what personal growth and healing are all about. It’s a delicate balance, and we learn as we go.

  • “…it’s upsetting for some readers to entertain the idea that they create challenges.”

    It’s true, people can easily resist being mirrored as “challenging,” and often, quite vehemently and defensively (which is challenging in and of itself!). The thing is that this can apply in all directions. I don’t know anyone who cannot pose difficult challenges for another person. I know I have at times, for others, and others have been very challenging for me to deal with. I think it’s how we grow in life, depending on how we address (or not) our challenges, especially in relationship to others.

    When a group of people sit around and discuss how challenging one particular person can be (especially with a label attached), then you are duplicating the “mental health system” because it is based on exactly this dynamic–which is how marginalization occurs, which is exactly systemic abuse, and quite cruel and disempowering at that.

    Everyone goes through passages and transitions in life and can be extremely challenging to deal with at one time or another–kids, parents, patients, doctors, lawyers, teachers, students, presidents, and on and on. Being “a challenge to others” is not a trait assigned to people in one role or another; it is across the social boards and shifts on a continuum, I believe that is natural. Otherwise, you are creating an “identified patient,” which means that this one person will be expected to carry the burden for all that is off balance in that particular community. That’s the problem in all of this, because I don’t see how that can ever be the case, and really sets a person up for failure in life, easily, because they internalize this role.

    The real challenge here is healing this internalized identity, which would mean to find one’s own power and voice in all of this. It is most definitely possible, but it takes a commitment to the healing process as it relates to transformation, because this is what is necessary, I believe, to shift internalized powerlessness-making self-identities.

    I think it’s important to understand that we’re all on a journey of healing and growth, equally. How can that NOT be the case? For me, that is the point of Rossa’s book. At least when I read it, this is one of the main things I took away from it, and I thought it illustrated this perfectly. This is her journey, alongside her son’s journey, which is a separate process of healing and personal evolution. Although one journey does spur another, which is natural and how we are inspired–another way in which nature connects us.

    The assigned roles (patient, doctor, caregiver, et al) are merely different perspectives along the collective journey, which puts each person’s story into a social context. Everyone is healing and growing, that is universal. We’re all just doing it our own way, which others may or may not understand. I don’t believe that matters, in the end, as long as we each understand ourselves.

  • Thank you, Rossa, I’ve very much appreciated your support, as well. I am fortunate that my path of healing coincided with meeting my life goals, so at this point, my sole/soul purpose in life is to give back. It will, indeed, be interesting to discover how I am guided in this regard–all of us, in fact. We are pioneers, and the universe is amazing. Can’t wait to see where we’re all going with this…

  • I’m always so moved to hear your story exploration and discovery with your son, Rossa. You both have invaluable things to share with the world, particularly needed at this time. I hope that one day Chris can feel the inclination to share his perspective.

    Thank you for taking the road less travelled and for chronicling it in The Scenic Route: A Way Through Madness, to share your discoveries, thoughts, and your heart. It is so beautifully written, clear and engaging, I read it in one day, cover to cover, could not put it down. I highly recommend this book to anyone, for many reasons. For one thing, it really shows how creative we can be when it comes to healing, there are always new things to discover.

    But it is your own truth which you continually voice as you take this journey which really strikes a deep chord and rings true, even though I am the other half of a mother-son relationship. Thanks for sharing this most powerful and intimate perspective. It expanded my understanding and compassion, and reminded me that we are ALL on a journey of healing, personal growth, and awakening.

  • Fabulous and seriously brilliant work, Chaya. You are so paying it forward, giving such meaning and power to your own journey. I know first hand the delicate balance of creating a business like this, and you seem to be walking that path in your light and power, along with grace and fluidly evolving awareness. Congratulations and continued success in helping to heal this terribly fragmented humanity in which we seem to have found ourselves (or co-created, depending on one’s perspective and beliefs).

  • I just wish we could, at the very least, get a refund for all the money many of us poured down the drain for years and years while thinking we were getting some kind of health or support “service,” only to discover later, experientially, that this is all a crock–and a dangerous, harmful, and individually and communally damaging one at that. The expense of it all is staggering.

    Healing from psych drugs damage is rugged, complex, and takes some time, but it’s doable, in my experience and things can come back into their natural balance with appropriate attention and focus. And healing from the traumatic stressors of institutionalized social abuse (the blatant stigma, oppression, and a compromising of human rights and dignity that comes from systemic marginalization) is also incredibly hard personal growth and healing work, but I do believe it is possible to individuate from an abusive society, layer by layer; and again from my experience, that is a good healing journey to take, bringing clarity, relief, and ultimately, personal freedom.

    However, healing from the financial strife of being vampired by a sorely misguided and even corrupt institution such as psychiatry sure seems to be, with terrible–horrifying!–results all over the place to prove it, is also a challenge that so many survivors face on a daily basis, while others are growing richer and richer in that very same power dynamic, and this is clearly the case, which is called “exploitation.” When justice is finally served, the economic poles should flip.

  • “Ali is an exception that violates the dogmatic perspective of chronic, medicated mental illness so thoroughly that the entire paradigm should be threatened if her single case were to be documented.”

    Many of our stories violate the dogmatic perspective of chronic, “meditated mental illness” quite thoroughly. The issue seems to be more the dogmatic resistance on the part of “the establishment” to hear truth and reason, and also to be humble to the information of others. That is not easily gained by psychiatry, if at all.

    I think a revolutionary change in perspective on what it means to be a human being–along with owning, as individuals, our right to self-agency–is what will eradicate this notion of “mental illness” and all the bs that goes along with it. Admittedly, that is a tall order because it involves tons of money and status, and this insane “need” to be right. The ego issues run deep when it comes to not seeing the truth of these matters.

    My belief at this point is that this is about community and social structures, and abuse of power which has become the social norm, and not an individual’s permanent “condition of being.” The latter is the big lie here which rakes in the bucks, maintains the status quo of marginalizing others, and the aggressive perpetuation of which is a perfect illustration of the former.

  • “Maslow was influenced by Graves–and in fact, due to Graves’ influence, changed his hierarchy pyramid to an open-ended view and instead of “self-actualization” at the peak of the pyramid, “transformation” is a step higher and opens up (perhaps as the beginning of an inverted pyramid).”

    I love the “inverted pyramid” image, and it resonates with my healing experience. From knowing ourselves aside from the influence of outside opinions, negative projections, and social programming, we begin to discover more of our ever-expansive awareness. We are always unfolding into new ways of being and perceiving, if we allow ourselves that flexibility, it is a never-ending process. The creative possibilities are endless, to be discovered as we go along.

  • Lots of wisdom and great insights here.

    You describe the perfect double bind of the “mental health industrial complex”–if one complies with treatment, one’s health and life have an excellent chance of deteriorating, as per thousands upon thousands of personal testimonials; and if one shows independence of thinking (one’s true spiritual nature), then force and coercion begin (and it can start out with very subtle power-conscious mind-games, e.g. gaslighting), amounting to systemic abuse and human rights violations. There is a very low ceiling here regarding personal freedom in that particular community, and no concept at all of having a spiritual nature.

    What I found, at the end of it all, is that “psychiatry/psychology” has become the practice of “the professionals” (whether clinical or social services) projecting their inner demons onto clients, in order to perceive themselves as “healthy,” by comparison, and it becomes a dreadful power game of “superiority.” It’s how training occurs in the “mental health industry.” I remember in my training exactly 20 years ago, a big component of our clinical supervision was on how to “not give clients too much power.”

    And as a client, all I felt while in psychotherapy was incredibly manipulated and really thrown off my game and life path. I had to go way outside the box in order to first, find my true healing (because it addressed my heart and spirit), and then, to come into affinity with my spirit once again and get back to better living, based on who I truly am, and not some negatively projected image based on the prejudices and limited sense of self of some “clinician.”

    There is something dreadfully wrong at the core of this field. I think the belief systems are skewed toward fitting in, rather than being comfortable in one’s own *unique* skin, regardless of anything. Personally, I do not believe that we are put on the planet to make others comfortable at the expense of our truth.

    Obviously, the “mental health system” practices and dynamics do not work to alleviate suffering, and in fact, they only serve to re-traumatize and to keep people stuck in this systemic abuse-victim dynamic, fully enabled by the community at large, including the law, and making virtually everyone enormously frustrated, at the very least. At worst, it is highly damaging to clients. And without a doubt, it is destructive to society on the whole, perhaps even the downfall of it.

    Thank you for speaking your truth with such clarity, power, and grace.

  • This article is sublime, and vivid in the tragic ironies it poses.

    “…we offer force and subjugation as though these are the ways to make an individual sane, and we do not have the defence of insanity for our own methodical and deliberately brutish behaviour.”

    Aside from “the insane are running the asylum” coming to mind from reading this statement, I’m also struck by the utter lack of self-awareness, self-ownership, self-perception, self-control, and the slew of projections occurring here. I find this to be typical of the mental health industry, as it is entirely based on projecting shadow onto others. That’s the problem, and where the chaos, deceit, stigma, oppression, discrimination, and ultimate power struggles begin.

    “We, in the end, quite effectively create a reality from which for many there is only one means of escape”

    Which implies that we can effectively create a reality from which people do not feel the need to escape, but more so, can embrace as the gift of life, in which one can manifest well-being, grounding, and robustly good feelings, rather than chronic ones of defeatism, powerlessness, and alienation. That would require full ownership of one’s experience, and that is not so easy for a lot of people. But it does empower one to make desired changes in their reality, starting from within.

  • I’m not talking about specific personal practices, but more about a certain aspect of transition in awakening, going from linear to multi-dimensional perspective. From that point of view, how we receive love and compassion has everything to do with how we perceive ourselves–either separate from each other or united in one consciousness. It is the perspective that we each mirror each other, so when we give love to and receive love from others, we are, in this multi-dimensional reality, giving and receiving to ourselves–the difference between duality and unity consciousness.

    I talk about this because giving/receiving love and compassion has become complicated in our society, I believe. Our collective perception of separateness has messed with our minds, hearts, and spirits quite profoundly, I think, and has disoriented the collective consciousness.

    This perspective from unity consciousness is filtering quickly into the collective now and is being grounded by a lot of people, giving tremendous hope to others. I do think it heals double-binding at the core, and opens the door to personally empowered sense of self, which, I believe, is the only thing that can ultimately heal us–that is, ourselves.

    Although I do feel that acting lovingly and generously as a lumen for others is soul nourishing, in and of itself. When we extend love, it may or may not be received, but regardless, we can still feel the quality of that love as we offer it to others. And being able to receive love is a gift. I do know the challenges here, from both sides of the fence.

  • Hi Michael, these double binds you reference are terribly familiar to me, I remember it well. That’s a treacherous feeling. I remember a time when absolutely no one was on my wavelength, so the “choices” I perceived at the time were particularly limited and unappealing. I was fortunate to find a good pathway out of all that, thank God, and that took more faith, trust, patience, and self-compassion than I ever thought I could muster.

    I am curious if you are aware of the notion of ascending these double binds by shifting vibrational frequency and taking the emotional journey to expanded feelings as spiritual awakening, toward consciously co-creating our life path by following that internal emotional guidance as a reflection of our spirit selves, to find our alignment with who we are, in essence, for ease, clarity, and grounding our sense of self. Ascension seems to be a path a lot of people are embracing at present, given the multiple double- binds we are facing during these especially stressful times of awakening to illusions and social programming. I believe this applies to everyone right now.

  • There is an interesting perspective that is ever-growing in the collective consciousness on the planet right now. Used to be considered “crazy” and still is by some. At the same time, it’s catching on quickly because it takes us beyond the glass ceilings and into alignment with our innate creativity, freeing us from the oppressively double binding beliefs with which we’ve all been programmed and which have caused a lot of chronic suffering.

    Tons and tons of information about ascension and DNA expansion all over the internet, including on YouTube. There’s a lot of garbage and a lot of truth, like with a lot of things, so one has to be intuitive and discerning. This is pioneering work, no one has all the answers, it is exploration and discovery of a new reality, communities coming together over this exploration.

    This perspective seriously challenges mainstream beliefs on every single level, so this information can be polarizing in some communities–it either resonates, which tends to bring some excitement for folks because it is new ground which to explore, and it gets pretty fascinating as this exploration unfolds; or it is completely disregarded, invalidated, belittled, and ultimately, stigmatized. Seems to be no in between. I imagine on here, that could easily be the case.

    Still, I think it’s all so interesting to consider, as far as truly a paradigm shift is concerned, on all levels of life experience, including how we process, heal, and manifest. This is long, about 90 minutes, but within the first 10 minutes I think the paradigm shift about which she’s detailing throughout the video, is evident. Radical change is happening, it is well underway…

  • “Then there needs to be an acknowledgement that we all have hidden or visible trauma.
    You can’t be human and not have it.
    You have to take off the masks and get down on the floor
    Some folks do it better than others and it is a learning curve.”

    Absolutely true.
    Beautiful, CatNight, all the way through.

  • “When we perceive and behave in a manner which others around us do not understand, or which renders us unable to support ourselves independently as adults, then it seems to me that we cannot reasonably expect our families or the larger society to adapt itself to our eccentricities.”

    Not being understood and being dependent on others are two totally different states of being. Our society has a major “learned dependence” component, so I believe that is a complex and relevant issue which deserves deeper exploration.

    How does social change and evolution happen if it is not challenged by our “eccentricities”? And btw, I don’t know anyone at all who doesn’t have eccentricities, that would be called our “uniqueness” in many circles.

    I think it is reasonable and fair for each person to choose what they are willing and capable of accommodating and what they are not. These are personal discernments we make moment to moment which define our personal space. Profound distress happens when our boundaries are chronically disrespected. That creates feelings of lack of safety and paranoia.

    If like minds were to come together over this self-awareness, I think more sound and cohesive societies could be formed. Right now, respect for diversity is what is lacking, and the result is a lot of shaming, oppression, and violence.

  • Although, there is quite a bit of diversity in the spectrum of ease vs. effort in life, dominance of anxiety and confusion vs. calm and clarity in one’s process, as well as power to manifest what one desires as opposed to feeling one cannot make things happen. These seem like concrete and self-evidential discernments which have practical solutions, rather than categories of pathology which are, in the end, divisive and overall, useless to healing anything.

  • “…professionals are developing alternative classification systems” and are, therefore, continuing to spin their wheels endlessly, wasting everyone’s time, money, energy, and human resources. At least it’s clear that the DSM is fake news, so to speak.

    Still, nothing short of a complete pole shift in perspective will be “alternative” enough to solve these problems born from dualistic, hierarchical thinking spawning endless spirals of profound core anxiety, stubbornly stalemate issues, and chronic social conflict. Only resentment and chaos can possibly be created from this one-sided perspective of “you are sick and I am well.” That is ALWAYS an illusion!

  • So finally, I want to bring this all back to my original point re the statements I pulled from this article.

    Stephen, you know like I do the enormous difference between being treated with respect (which used to be “normal” in the world I lived in, whereas today, it seems harder and harder to come by in just about any role and from just about any perspective; just look at the example from our national leaders right now) vs. treated like a second class citizen–that is, dehumanized, demeaned, deprived, and only perceived through the lens of stigma, as in the scarlet letter. These are two completely different experiences in life, internal feelings, self-perceptions (as well as perception of the world), and, therefore, realities; and it’s not a stretch to guess which one is the more desirable for at least most people I know. Still, it is rather incredible how little persuasion we seem to have over those who are determined to be abusive, marginalizing, and controlling, perceiving from what I would call an extremely limited perspective, that this is the way to “get things done.” I think that’s why we call it a “toxic society,” when this becomes the norm. Talk about teaching by example!

    I do feel there is a way to break free of this internalized very negative and limited self-identity that is imposed by the system and field of “mental health,” based on class. One has to be able to see through the illusions, and that’s hard because illusory or not, the effects of it are very strongly felt, regardless. Still, when we seek truths higher and broader than the limiting perspective which binds us to an oppressive reality, then we can perceive the way out, through our inner guidance and intuition. We all have it in there somewhere, and these negative experiences can serve as catalysts for discovering it, for the sake of survival, and then for actually getting out of the cave, so to speak, and into the light (thinking of Plato’s allegory, The Cave, here)–that is, liberation.

    That’s all I can say about the matter at this point. The rest is up to each of us to find our path and follow it. It’s humbling, without a doubt, and also incredibly empowering.

    I’m not posting here much these days, but this article did get my attention, so I stopped in to speak my truth of the matter, as it has relevance for me at the moment. Thanks for the always rich dialogue. Best wishes to you and keep up the brave work!

  • I’m glad to hear you have secure support and are seen for the professional that you are.

    And I agree wholeheartedly with “be the change you want to see in the world.” We cannot create meaningful change in the world without tending to our own alignment and integrity, first. Otherwise, we only create more chaos, drama, and suffering for ourselves.

    Reality is created from perspective, and we have a variety from which to choose, from one day to the next, leading to pure creative freedom. I think that simplifies the process, and makes it a bit more efficient and clear, and we see where we are at the controls of our own life experience here. What you say above is where I lost patience with the “mental health” world. EVERYTHING was a long drawn out process (and that’s putting it mildly), that usually led nowhere!

    My life changed pretty quickly when I began to perceive the bigger picture, of my soul journey unfolding. I am also a minister, so I applied my spiritual work to these experiences in order to heal from them. Also other principles of healing; but shifting to the spiritual story is what ascended me from all the double binds of this reality.

  • Stephen, I agree with AA, takes guts to speak that way to a higher up. I’m so curious how you keep from getting in trouble, and even fired. All I had to say was, “You are blatantly discriminating against me” to receive my walking papers, despite the fact I was a very effective counselor. of course, that’s illegal, because I wasn’t just blowing smoke and playing victim, I had hard proof of this. My win here was a no brainer, they were so transparent in their bigotry. But they never admitted their wrong-doing, not for a moment, and it came back to haunt them. How do you keep your job standing up to the powers that be this way?

  • Wow, Stephen, perfect response to her, you mirrored her perfectly. What’s interesting of course, is that this lady has her story, too, as to why she thinks like this, of why she would feel so compelled to maintain such a transparent illusion of power. Over whom? How about the most vulnerable of the vulnerable, easy to control, no advocacy, etc.

    The irony is that there is no power here, only the desire to feel it at the expense of others. That will never work, never has. It is an ILLUSION.

  • Re: “You all want to work with people that most people avoid,” and ”Being able to connect emotionally to people who are normally rejected…”

    I went voluntarily to see a psychiatrist 25 years ago because I was feeling so much anxiety and depression that was interfering with my thought process, and didn’t know why. In the end, I have a long story about psych drugs poisoning, withdrawal, and facing discrimination in the system which took me to legal action in which I succeeded to prove blatant discrimination.

    For most of these years, I worked full-time, had private insurance and was neither disabled nor part of the public system. I lived with diagnoses, worked and socialized, made it through college and then graduate school, and took a variety of psych drugs over the years which eventually caught up with me in a very debilitating way, leading to very painful and necessary withdrawal right after graduating, almost 20 years after I had begun taking them. Ultimately, this led me straight into the “disability system.” Multiple organs had been seriously compromised, it turns out, including my brain.

    That is where the shit hit the fan for me and my life took a downward spiral like never before, thanks to what the drugs and social abuse/discrimination/stigma/systemic bullying and sabotage had done to me.

    This dark period of my life was followed by extreme core changes, including choosing to heal far away from anything like this—more toward energy healing and spiritual work from a variety of perspectives. That has changed my life in a good way, finally, what I expected—to be well and back on my path of living, loving, working, and creating. I was labeled all sorts of ridiculous things as I was healing from neurotoxins, going through rapid changes, all judgments from which I had to distance myself and simply ignore in the end, as completely irrelevant–although not after all of this had done a number on me, serving to make me feel really bad about myself and rather hopeless at times. I was waking up fast.

    So overall, my path has had great meaning for me, and by acting as explicit contrast to what I would most desire for myself in life (fun, joy, freedom, creativity), the depth of healing from my experience with “mental health” anything did eventually lead me to the life I most desire, because I chose to wake up to what was really happening around me, rather than continuing to believe that something was so wrong with me and that I should just accept my fate as a “compromised” human being, attempting to be tossed to the sidelines. That’s a cruel fate, to buy into that belief.

    Still, I felt so betrayed by the system, and the entire field by this point, thinking it was there to help me, and I could not understand why I, and others around me, were being treated like “undesirables,” that’s exactly how it felt. I was trying to heal, whereas it became apparent that this was not their agenda for me, that I was supposedly “delusional”—and even grandiose!–for thinking I could heal from this particular “disability” and get on with things, as I had envisioned for myself.

    I had just come from grad school, where I was doing MFT training and perfectly respected—and even transparent about my diagnosis, which did cause me a bit of trouble with one professor and a couple of fellow students, interestingly enough–but overall, I was an excellent student and had a very active supervised internship as I processed well through my stuff.

    And suddenly, the moment I walked into social services to actually receives services, I was another person in the system—chronically ill, forever limited, and marginal to society. That was their version of me, not mine. The difference in feeling is over the top, and it is a mind fuck like no other. My world went dark, temporarily, because of all this. In the state of mind I was in at the time, coming off of 9 psych drugs, this was extremely disorienting, and it snuck up on me. I was totally naïve and unsuspecting, having trained in the field myself.

    Now I get it, with messages like these (and they merit reposting, they are so direct and powerful)–

    “You all want to work with people that most people avoid.”

    “Being able to connect emotionally to people who are normally rejected…”

    That was never, ever true for me in my life. No one rejected me and people don’t tend to avoid me (other than in the mental health world, that is a weird and ironic thing in my life, another story). But overall, I’ve always had a healthy social life, including a partnership of now 32 years. I’ve had friends and family connections, always, despite my family issues, which was the root of all of this in the first place, finally got that straightened out in my life. And I’ve been part of many communities, always in good standing, in harmony with it all.

    Although again, I’ll highlight that only in the mental health world, where I am trained, educated, and thoroughly experienced, am I shunned in just about every aspect of it, and this was all as the result of my wanting to move forward in life. It has been an interesting experience and study for me, personally.

    Of course, if you are sending people into the world with this idea in their heads, as per the above quotes– then clients don’t stand a chance! You’ve already marginalized them, before even starting!

    I really do respect others for how they walk their path of life, whether or not I am of the same beliefs or values. It’s really none of my business how others choose to live their lives, unless it, somehow, involves sabotage to the greater good, then I would feel compelled to have a say in what goes on. But even then, I defer to the universe because I am no judge of others, my perspective is human, and therefore, limited.

    But these two phrases really jumped out at me, and I now can see so clearly why I was treated this way, which others seemed to accept, and which I simply could not, I knew it was wrong, because, other than some family issues I associate with my healing journey, and then all throughout the mental health world, I’d always been treated just fine in life.

    Now I see that, from the get-go, it was assumed that I’d been marginalized in life, simply because I had turned to the system for support when I needed it. Something to do with not having money, maybe? Does that make one less worthy of respect than anyone else? Well, to be honest, grad school was expensive, as was seeing psychiatrists and psychotherapists all those years, all leading to catastrophe and disability, in the end. That was a terribly unwise investment on my part, I must say, and I will own my choices here, having examined the beliefs behind them. I’ve since shifted my belief system, as a result, and that has changed my life accordingly.

    I could go on and on, but it really spends me to think about this. It is just such a dense, dense reality, looking back on it—which I try to do less and less as time goes on, and focus simply on moving forward into a new reality feeling like myself now, and not like some social beast, which is how I felt in the system as I traversed it years ago. To me, that’s a blatant projection, because that is exactly how I feel about the mental health system—not only a social beast but also vampiristic–and I know I’m not alone in that perspective!

    I hope that, somehow, I’ve made my point. I’d really like for my experience to be valued in a way that will help others in the best way possible, not only to consider different perspectives neutrally and even-handedly (e.g. clinical vs client perspective), but also to encourage people, in general, to use their intuition that will guide them to go in a direction that will best help them when they need support, rather than tank and drain them unsuspectingly, because they are considered “undesirable.” (To whom? would be my question) Then, it would really have been worthwhile, other than for me to have found my clarity and authentic voice.

  • Psychiatry: “1. a medical specialty, now defunct, whose primary tenet was that all significant problems of thinking, feeling, and/or behaving were best conceptualized as illnesses, and best treated with mood-altering drugs and electric shocks to the brain. 2. (informal) an enormous hoax. 3. (informal) a shameful abuse of power and position.”

    This is sooo powerful! I’d say repost and repeat this everywhere. It is clear, direct, to the point, and, frankly and sadly, truthful. Why wait 20 years? Thank you, Dr. Hickey, really great.

  • “Our consciousness creates the reality that reflects it. If we feel apart, other, afraid, and deadened, we will live in a world that reflects and perpetuates these energies. Push out of your comfort zones, explore, and experiment with new ways of thinking, relating, and feeling. You may find that epic beauty dwells in the most unexpected places.”


  • Powerful story. Good for you for standing in your light of truth. There’s a reason they call it “courageous.”

    Just one factual correction, where you say, “I thought about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay mayor in the US…” HM was the first openly gay elected official in the US, but he was not mayor, he was a city supervisor. The mayor of San Francisco at the time of Milk’s service was George Moscone.

  • Wow, Juleen, perfect synch in our thinking, without a doubt. I’ve met a few other lightworkers on here who no longer post here. The focus is just so different, and yes, there is a lot of demeaning and patronizing “othering” associated with having a spiritual perspective. I believe this is academically based. I’ve been distancing myself. I hadn’t even checked this site in over a week, and had a whim last night, and happened to see your comment, which I otherwise wouldn’t have seen because this is an old blog, and I’d have had no reason to check it out. All sorts of synchronicity around here!

    There is so much here on which to chew and comment, I appreciate the rich depth of your wisdom. Indeed, like you, I believe it is the task of the day to create bridges of ascension. I think when we authentically and fearlessly live our truth, we attract a lot of help, starting with from the universe. Then guides show up, and on and on. I love that process, it is fascinating as it unfolds.

    This thread has gotten rather long, so I’m going to keep it relatively short this time, simply mirroring your truth as my own. We have so much in front of us to explore, discover, and learn. It is an exciting time, indeed. Our DNA is even changing and expanding. We can be transmuters of energy and ascension way-showers as a healing presence, and we are on our path.

    Victim/conflict/lack energy can always be transmuted into creatorship, inner peace, and abundance, working with polarities. I believe one informs the other, that’s the transformation. I work with the energy of abundance, that has served me miraculously. From that, all I need springs, like fishes and loaves.

    A couple of quick add-ons here. First, I just wanted to acknowledge this beautiful guidance—

    “Try envisioning the way first, to whatever feels like the next level of joyful expansion for you..instead of waiting for the way to be shown to you..focus on visualizing it more pointedly, even if it’s just feeling the essence of how it feels and what it represents. Your vibration is already so high that I bet if you do that in a more focused way than you have, you’ll start to feel the flow toward it being unblocked.”

    Thank you, Juleen, total light speak. I can feel it strongly because I’ve been working on just that, so you got me, here. I’m impressed, seriously! I’m taking this to heart, thank you.

    “…your intuitive guidance system which uses emotions to help you navigate by telling you how close or far from the truth of your true being you are (the worse it feels, the further from the truth it is!)”

    Esther Hicks/Abraham fan, by chance? Sounds exactly like her teachings, which I love, and indeed, I agree. Being out of alignment with our true being is what causes us discomfort, and which, in turn, guides us to our alignment, indicated by how we feel. It’s beautiful ease, I think.

    Thank you for this exquisite dialogue, it has been refreshing. Any chance you have a way to contact you via email? I’d be very interested to continue this discussion in private, but I don’t have a public address to offer any longer. This timing is actually rather uncanny to me, so I’m wondering if LOA is hard at work here, on my/our behalf!

  • Oh, and I really love this, emphatic yes from me–

    “… I’d love to see an interim “reverse Mental Health system”, de-conditioning, de-programming, learning how to experience and use the energy of unconditional love which is our essence. Learning to live within the new non-co-dependent relationship paradigm that is being templated now (a whole other thing!). But a system specifically for ppl who have chosen identities that involve mental/emotional/behavioral pathology. To un-do the damage as a way to help accelerate the higher consciousness shift for the collective…”

    That’s what I call creative thinking. Juleen, we are speaking the same language here! This is exactly what we do in our groups, we are deprogramming in order to know our true selves. We’re just a little country operation, though, I live in a small rural town. I’d love to expand, but at this point, I’m waiting for the light to show the way, that’s all we can do at present, as we do what we can with what we have. I’m always on the lookout for that opening, somewhere, somehow. Up to me to manifest this, right? Hmmm…

  • Juleen, awesome post (and powerful numerical synchronicity!)–and yes, exactly what I’m talking about, allowing a new reality to unfold, which is what happens as we allow our perspectives to shift. Releasing the old and allowing the new (aka healing and change) is a radical shift, the challenge of which is that all our resistance is going to come to light for us to face and sort through somehow.

    As we shift dimensions, we face our shadows and must somehow integrate ourselves with full on self-acceptance and true self-compassion. It’s a hefty clearing, very profound.

    That’s how this core shift is healing—at least, we are given those opportunities. As you rightly note, not everyone is into taking that particular healing journey, as it does shed light on all of our programming, about which we are faced with some challenging choices here.

    Are you familiar with the terms “ascension,” and 3D vs. 5D consciousness? From all you say above, I’m thinking you know what I’m talking about, you are describing it perfectly–how we are shifting from operating in a linear reality to a multi-dimensional focus, where present time is all that is, each moment a convergence of multiple realities and energies.

    According to the universal laws of energy, where we choose to focus is what determines the reality we are creating for ourselves. And we have a lot of choices with each and every experience, moment to moment, on where to focus and what story we create for ourselves as we go along in life. We can always shift focus when we are ready for change. That’s our creative process in full power.

    To my mind, this determines everything about ourselves and our lives, and we have all the control we need in terms of where and how we choose to focus our attention, and which perspective navigates our present time consciousness. We have so many choices here. So much follows from this choice, like a chain of energy reactions which leads to 1) how we feel in our bodies and 2) what we manifest for ourselves.

    Indeed, spirituality gets just as stigmatized as anything, it is so often confused with religion, which is more like a cult to me. I think of spirituality more directly as “pertaining to the spirit,” which to me, is what is way more vast than our physical selves, yet on the continuum of it. I see this as universal.

    When we expand consciousness, we perceive more of who we are, and some of that is physical and some of that is on a spiritual (energetic) level. I believe our emotions are the doorway to how we can be aware of this connection between body and spirit. This is where I did a lot of neural pathway re-routing, with very focused meditation and awareness work. It was tedious at first, and still fascinating. But given how we can program our neural pathways, it eventually becomes second nature to expand our thinking, it is more ease than effort.

    My brain and nervous system changed a great deal just from practicing this, really calmed the “fight or flight” issue, while shifting my entire self-perception, and therefore, my experience of life. This is where I feel my power to make change, beginning internally. I believe we change on a daily basis, that is our nature. Really, it’s a matter of awareness. When we connect with our ever-changing natures, we experience more ease in life, because we are allowing our higher consciousness to guide us, and that is who we are! No more “social approval,” we become our authentic selves, regardless of anything. That is how we discover our true path and life purpose, because we are listening to ourselves, not the judgments or expectations of others. And in the process of being true to ourselves, we create that which pleases us most, because we are honoring and expressing who we really are, no pretense (like, for political purposes, for example).

    To make it practical, I see spirituality in terms of energy. My healing was centered around the principles of energy and vibrational frequency of our thoughts and emotions, and how this drives the feelings in our bodies as well as what we manifest outside of ourselves. To me, it follows a very common sense connect-the-dots logic and is the most practical thing I’ve ever learned in my life. It is all experiential learning. Reading about it is one thing, applying it and living it is what counts. That’s where our energy and perspective shift.

    I had been a psychotherapist before going into the system for support as I withdrew from all psych drugs, and that’s where I discovered the extreme limitations of “mental health services.” I was ostracized from my own field because I came out as a psychiatric client, and plus, my personality did not fit the culture. I’m actually an artist (actor, filmmaker, music director and performer) so I was way beyond the scope of this narrow perspective. I have a wide range of emotions which I like to own, feel, and express, I think that’s normal for artists, and my entire life now is about creating art via one medium or another. I always know my center, no matter how far to the edge I go.

    I think that’s the key to maintaining clarity, a sense of control, and also general well-being and enjoyment of life–to know our center, and to know how to get back to it when we are triggered. Everyone gets triggered, daily, that’s a fact of life. But not everyone knows how to come back to center before spiraling downward, that’s the problem. This spiritual energy work is what connected me with this awareness of coming back to center. That made life livable again for me.

    However, a wide emotional range of expression does not go over well in the “mental health” world, as we all know. Without awareness of spiritual energy–to which we shut the door completely when we invalidate, shun, marginalize, and drug strong emotions–there is nowhere to grow, we hit a ceiling! Things get very frustrating here, and our clarity, grounding, and overall well-being become highly compromised–not to mention, our sense of empowerment. At this ceiling is where feelings of powerless creep in, and that can be extremely uncomfortable and produce all sorts of debilitating anxiety, depression, and rage.

    It was when I turned to a chakra and energy healing program that I learned how we operate as energy, and that is what opened the door for me to transformative healing. I healed by leaps and bounds in the couple of years I attended this program to both heal and train. This is how I expanded my healing practice, once I became grounded and clear enough to get back in the saddle. This also took me from mental patient to theater and stage performer (which I’d never done before, this all started with volunteer work), which changed my health and my life indescribably. I attribute this to knowing how to follow my spiritual path.

    Then, I studied Law of Attraction in depth, as a healing tool, followed by Kabbalah studies, where I learned about “co-creating with the light.” All of this added up to be the most practical and common sense healing and personal growth path I could imagine.

    I’ve been in practice for 12 years now, teaching what I’ve learned along the way and helping others to apply it, and am currently co-creating with a couple of partners what we’re calling “Healing Academy for the Performing Arts,” where I’m combining everything across the boards—meditation, energy work, spiritual growth and awareness, music, and the arts. We’re just finishing up our second quarter of meetings, and are rehearsing for our next series of shows, as a band which performs for senior residents of assisted living centers. We cater to them musically with songs from the 20’s-50’s. They love it so much, it is really fun and gratifying.

    To me, this is extremely spiritual, in every way—connecting to each other as spirits in this energy field of music. It is healing for everyone concerned, individually and socially.

    AND, no one gets categorized here in any way. I come from the system, but my partners do not. We have diverse backgrounds and growth processes. There is no discrimination in energy healing. We are all energy of varying frequencies, ever-expanding as per our nature; and somehow, we all fit together harmonically. That’s it–unity consciousness.

    So all of our healing and consciousness work is getting cycled into community service now. We’re having a fantastic time with this, all based on feeling and sharing joy. To us, that is the healing elixir.

    I’m curious how this all speaks to you. Seems we are similarly trying to integrate all of this healing information. It is sooo not easy! Lots of resistances to truth and light in our world. It is hard to receive love when one has been deprived of it for too long. I think that’s a core trauma, lack of love. We have to start with loving ourselves if we want to experience this shift.

  • Labeling an abused and traumatized person, rather than validating their story and reality and understanding that, regardless of anything, it has a root, is gaslighting, and downright cruel. Constant “you” statements (I notice you are this, I notice you do that, I’m aware you said this) is, both, self-conscious making and crazy-making, I consider at least a derivative of gaslighting.

    And yes, it happens all the time, it is sop, and not just by the therapist, but by clients, as well. I’ve known people who have been long term psychotherapy clients, and this is all they do, point at others the way are pointed at in therapy, ready to point out something wrong with a person, or some contradiction. People take the example from their own therapy, and pay it forward. I don’t find this a very comfortable in a relationship, to be so heavily projected onto, called this and that, being constantly told what is “wrong” with you.

    From Wikipedia—

    “Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize the target’s belief.”

    This article elaborates–

    This passage got my attention:

    “The intention is to, in a systematic way, target the victim’s mental equilibrium, self confidence, and self esteem so that they are no longer able to function in an independent way. Gaslighting involves the abuser to frequently and systematically withhold factual information from the victim, and replacing it with false information. Because of it’s subtly, this cunning Machiavellian behaviour is a deeply insidious set of manipulations that is difficult for anybody to work out, and with time it finally undermines the mental stability of the victim. That is why it is such a dangerous form of abuse.”

    While it may really not be intentional, as expressed in this definition, and I imagine in the majority of therapy practices it is not, still, when it comes to compromising “the victim’s [patient’s] mental equilibrium, self confidence, and self esteem so that they are no longer able to function in an independent way,” sounds like the effect of psych drugs to me. This is a double whammy for clients, physical abuse from the neurotoxins and mental/emotional abuse—albeit unintentional—from the standard practice of projecting so heavily onto another person. That’s a lot of multiple trauma, caused by standard treatment, perspective, and paradigm. It’s why people can go downhill fast while in “treatment.”

    And yes, it’s totally advantageous to the abusers and oppressors to have this system in place, so that the “identified patient” is unmistakable. Takes the spotlight, and the responsibility, off of them. It’s a brilliant plan, totally double-binding, and extremely costly for people and society in so many ways.

  • I do love your vision, Dr. B, always rings true to me and speaks to my heart.

    “…a calling that proceeds from respect and love,” indeed. I also see it as an art of “responsiveness and intuition,” what I’d call being fully in present time, awake to our own inner voice in the process of listening actively to and being present with others. Also, “recovering innocence and authenticity” as source of strength. I love how you put that. I would also add inner power to that, including the power to manifest what we most desire.

    With respect to gaslighting, it is a term and practice of abuse which I’ve brought to the forefront repeatedly because I believe it is underrated in terms of its prevalence and psychological danger. It is subtle and insidious, and very hard to catch. It causes terrible post traumatic stress symptoms which can be very challenging to heal, because, in essence, we wind up mind-fucking ourselves as per learned habit, leading to chronic self-sabotage from having internalized such false negative messages, causing perpetual internal struggling.

    Imperfection is part of life and the creative process. The idea is to learn, grow, and refine as we go. It is inevitable that we reach a point of passage where we are called to transform our perspective, in order to allow change to occur outside of us.

    I’m very much aligned with the catch phrase “There is no excuse for abuse.” Especially in the healing world. That is more than abuse–it is betrayal and fraud, not to mention sinister. Sadistic personalities seek to have power and control over others. If this is the best we can do, then I’m not sure how to reconcile this, because it seems far and away from acceptable.

  • I think psychotherapy can be sound and supportive to gain clarity, resolve inner conflicts, and achieve personal growth and evolution. My concern, however, is that it can be so risky for clients. Aside from way better training with a few more perspectives to consider than what is currently offered by the mainstream–which is especially narrow and myopic, imo–there needs to be some kind of checks & balances system to protect the client, who is in the vulnerable position of needing to trust, from mental abuse. Unfortunately, it is common.

    In addition, it is not a stretch to imagine that if one is seeking healing from childhood trauma and wounding, it can easily be repeated in a clinical relationship. It isn’t always transference; sometimes it is for real. And that can easily lead to way more trouble for the client, rather than healing. I believe it’s a common problem, and people suffer because of this–sometimes without even realizing they’re being gaslighted. I feel so strongly that something needs to be checked, here.

  • “Psychotic” is such a relative term, in its most commonly used context–being “out of touch with reality.” And this is most often applied to those who have evolved or are evolving outside the norm–“the box,” as it were. That’s not at all an easy process, given the extreme limitations which we have internalized from social programming.

    It could be a really beautiful, enriching, and fascinating period of personal exploration and discovery–not to mention, of glorious manifestation–were we to honor personal growth and spiritual evolution for what it is. It will never look “normal,” that’s the idea.
    “Fitting in” vs. “being outcast” is one of the biggest illusions by which we operate, and this alone causes suffering for people, from that dualistic “us and them” perspective. Spiritual growth is about not giving a flip about that, because one is focused on one’s own path and evolution, not on whether or not they are being “approved of” by society. That is a non-spiritual perspective, and compromises one’s personal power, we just give it away freely in this mindset. Plus, it merely serves as distraction as to our purpose in life, if we are always preoccupied with “fitting in.” Rather, I’d suggest no one fits in and everyone fits in. We are all unique aspects of one consciousness, which makes both statements true from different perspectives. Social harmony will occur when we honor our gifts and those of others–not by being opaque, controlling, and seeking power over others, using people for one’s personal gain. That’s called “vampirism.”

    Instead, drugging and blatantly stigmatizing human expression, experience, and evolution is our appalling (and dangerous) norm–utter darkness. Of course it pisses people off, to no end, and makes them feel hopeless, despondent, and powerless. That seems justified, considering what I consider to be the reality of the situation. To me, these perceptions and practices that are “normal” seem “psychotic.”

    The most expanded consciousness would argue that mainstream thinking is “psychotic” because it is rife with delusion, limitation, oppression, and corruption. It is based on brainwashing and social control. Enlightenment is way expanded consciousness, perceiving and experiencing beyond the ordinary. That could very possibly not only be more real than what is perceived by the majority (the norm), but it can also be extremely useful, relevant, and practical information, especially given the dark times into which we have fallen. We need new perspectives and creativity more than ever now. How else will we get through this time, to the other side of this collective dark night of the soul? I believe we have to create our way out of it, and our imaginations are being tested here.

    But if society continues to shun that which is “beyond the ordinary,” and considers it weird, bizarre, odd, off-putting, and/or terrifying, and therefore, does everything in its power to suppress it and keep it at arm’s length via marginalization, then it will never grow beyond the illusions of mainstream thinking, and that cannot end well, it is a downward spiral. At some point, we are going to have to respect and value those that go out on a limb and have the courage, integrity, and inner peace to live their truth, despite social stigma and marginalization, if we are to be saved from complete social annihilation because at this point, we’re basically killing each other, one way or another. If I were to call anything “psychotic” at this point, it is at least the USA society, on the whole.

    Regarding emotional suffering, I think we just need to be kinder and more supportive of each other. I think people suffer a great deal from being shunned, turned away, ostracized, marginalized, demeaned for having issues, profiled and feared, tricked, deceived, betrayed, gaslighted, etc. Were people to play fair and with integrity, so much confusion, disorientation, anxiety, and emotional suffering would shift pretty quickly, I think. But that is a choice people make. No one can force integrity onto another. We do the best we can with what we know, and hopefully, we learn as we go, seeing more and more truth.

    For some, truth can be searing. I think that’s where humane and compassionate support would be called for—support from those who welcome truth, not from those that shun it. The latter would be self-defeating, at best, and more than likely, dangerous.

  • Infuriating to read this. I’m so sorry for your loss, and for what you all have been put through.

    “Research natural alternatives. Don’t give your power away to people who deem themselves all-knowing simply by merit of their white coat and a medical duh-gree. Educate yourself so that you can be your own best health advocate, and that for those whom you cherish and love.”

    We definitely need to keep highlighting avenues of healing way above and beyond what is so glibly, and often so seemingly randomly and blindly, offered by “prestigious” mainstream western medicine. There are so many sound and natural remedies for everything, including multiple perspectives from which to consider what is happening in the body.

    Although of all the words in the above passage, I’d recommend simply, “Don’t give your power away.” I think when we do, that’s really the start of compromised well-being.

    Kind of a toss up as to what has most degenerated in our society–competence, empathy, human decency, common sense, heart intelligence, et al. Any or all, you name it. Thank you for sharing this so that others know the dangers of modern western mainstream health care. I’m so sorry you found out the hard way. I did too, almost lost my life–and for a while, my heart, mind, and spirit–to pharmacology and grossly incompetent care, came very close, but I was fortunate to have survived. My entire perspective on life has changed since then, that was an awakening for me, regarding to where our society has sunk, on the whole. It was a slap-in-the-face wake up call, and it got my attention but good.

    My very best wishes to you and your family.

  • This is relevant to the dilemma of psychiatrists, but the idea of relating the intimate details of another, in this case, clients–whether under pseudonym or not–for professional gain, to prove a point, or to navigate one’s own internal paradoxes seems explicitly cold, dissociated, and dehumanizing to me. I wish even this practice would cease, as a way to show respect to one’s clients.

  • I wanted to add this, your example reminds me so much of what this statement is communicating. I’ve posted this on MIA a few times when it feels relevant, as it does now. I have two groups with whom I’m working at present, and we start with this–it is the cornerstone of my practice, because I find it so liberating in all the right ways, to bust through the most inhibiting and stigmatizing of all that social programming. By Marianne Williamson, from A Return to Love–

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

  • Congratulations, Monica and happy anniversary. Beautifully authentic and real, as always.

    I agree that by choosing to follow our bliss, we find our true spirit nature and from that, we can make more inspired choices for ourselves, moment to moment. Following the path which society expects or dictates (social programming) indeed causes a core split, because we are not following our true nature. To my mind, this causes suffering, and it is chronic until we discover who we are and make choices based on that, and not based on the judgment of others.

    The path of healing is one of true creativity, so we connect directly with our creative essence when we choose this. I believe that from the “going toward bliss” intention and momentum, we are creating a more light-filled society, by example. This energy ripples outward, as is the nature of energy.

    So it’s true, I think, that those of us who took on the burdens of society through our sensitivity can help influence healing and change by, once and for all, being ourselves, and letting the chips fall where they may. In other words, we can always give it back in order to create healing opportunities for others. We cannot heal others’ issues, but of course, we can always help to transmute the energy.

    I always say that no one heals another, we can only speak our truth in the hopes of influencing others to find their own unique healing path. You are a shining example of this. Thank you for your voice and enormous influence to create sorely needed change in the dynamics of our society.

  • LavenderSage, I haven’t yet heard back form MIA nor have I heard from you, and since the spam posts are still active, it seems as though no one is around to help us with our request to connect with each other. I no longer publically post my address because when I was, I got all sorts of unwanted emails and all kinds of spam so I’ve stopped doing that. I’m also moving away from MIA for reasons having to do with letting go and moving forward. You actually just caught me, I thought the first post I made on this article was going to be my last on this website, then I saw your response, so I’m hanging in there until we can connect.

    Still, considering your post, I thought I’d go ahead and say here that after I came off the drugs and did all the healing work to support the withdrawal–which was all about energy, chakras, grounding, and clearing blocks (Chinese Medicine)–I had to, at the same time, consider how I was perceiving my reality. So I began to consider the values and beliefs I was raised with, and realized how much they just did not fit who I was. I had internalized my families value system–very middle class, social hierarchy, norms of society, all that crap–which put me in conflict with my own spirit, so that’s when I began to totally individuate from the “family voices.”

    What was causing me so much pain, which was uncovered when I got off the drugs and cleared my head a bit, was the inner conflict between these internalized beliefs of old vs. my true spirit, wanting to lead me to where I really desired to go, my true calling, as we all have a path to follow. When we don’t follow our true and natural path–which is programmed into our intuition I believe–because we are, somehow, stopping ourselves, we suffer because we are not following our true spirit nature, to be in affinity with ourselves. That is a core split, like playing tug-o-war with ourselves.

    So that was the start of the next phase of healing–in addition to the energy work–discerning and separating out internalized family energy and beliefs from my own true heart and spirit voice, my real desires. That set me free on a whole new level.

    After that, I learned all I could about Law of Attraction, and that really moved me way forward, quantum leaps. There are a lot of LOA teachers out there, some are better than others. I happen to really enjoy Esther Hicks’ teachings on LOA, she has hundreds of videos and clips from her seminars which I find fascinating and so relevant, a real game changer, whole new paradigm. Search Abraham-Hicks on YouTube, tons of stuff will come up to explore, on how it relates just every subject imaginable.

    At the end of it all, learning about Law of Attraction and other universal laws of energy is what got me past all of this, once and for all, because it guided me as to how we co-create our realities, so I felt more control over my life experience.

    I did my withdrawal from 9 drugs in 2001-2002, and by 2007 I was singing and acting on stage (which I’d never done before until then), thanks to the Chakra and energy work, and then studying law of attraction and applying that to my healing. I was extremely dedicated my healing, it was all I focused on during that time, and all of that work got me far (as well as staying as far away as I could from anything called “mental health services”).

    It took my a bit longer to consider myself completely well, and for that, I had to heal from all the gaslighting and mental abuse that took place alongside all of this, from the system. I found that to be much trickier and more subtle than the drug harm. The effects of gaslighting are devastating, really messes with one’s self-perception. Reminded me so much of what I went through as a kid, my family was the same way, all academic and competitive, whereas I had no such inclination.

    This allowed me to dig deep and release all the confusion and disorientation from having been chronically lied to, emotionally manipulated, stonewalled, and shamed for standing up for myself. Such is the double bind of our mainstream society. It’s lose/lose, no way to win in this. So that’s how I healed my core wounds.

    As I shifted all of these internal beliefs to align more with who I am naturally, as a spirit being having a human experience, I felt myself lighten up considerably, my thoughts changed to create a more positive perception of myself, and almost like magic, my environment changed. I attracted opportunities that allowed me to transition and that’s when I moved to a rural natural environment and found my true self, here. Pure transcendentalism, nature is beyond amazing in her healing support.

    These days, I’m moving further and further away from all this mental health stuff, mostly toward creating music and other community service endeavors, focusing on social healing. I find that the more I focused my attention on that which felt good and brought me uplift, the better I would feel. Sure enough, that’s what happened. So I continue in this vein, and I grow as a result.

    Overall, during healing, we tend to stare so much at our shadow, and I learned it is healing to go the other way–to stop staring at the shadows, and instead, look for the light. That creates a new inner landscape for us, based on light rather than shadow. This translates into what we manifest outside of us.

    I hope this has spoken to you, somehow, while we are waiting for MIA moderators to respond to our request. I felt compelled to offer at least something here, even though I don’t know your specific issues at present. Hope it helps!

  • I emailed Hana, too, and didn’t hear back, so I guess she’s off work these couple of days. I just now emailed Emmeline to see if she can help us out, pointing her to this dialogue and asking her to forward my email address to you. I imagine you’ll be hearing from her sooner than later. I do look forward to connecting, sounds like we’re on our way!

  • Sure, LavenderSage, I’d be happy to dialogue with you in private. I used to offer an alternate email address on here which I no longer have, so all I have is my main address which I don’t like to post publically. Perhaps you can email me a brief note through MIA and have Hana forward it, so I’ll have your email and can respond that way? Would that work?

  • Thank you for this, Dr. Steingard, a lot to chew on here.

    “If we all have confirmation bias, how do we decide who is correct? How do we know what is true?”

    What a gorgeous exploration these questions make. I can’t imagine all the diverse responses these questions generate. At least that I know is true.

    “While I like to think of myself as deriving my conclusions through careful research and reason, I am also told — repeatedly — that I am passionate and some have suggested my passion clouds my reason. I like to think my passion drives me to reasoned inquiry, but who knows?”

    I think passion makes us human. All of us are right sometimes, and wrong sometimes. Who cares? Life is not an exact science, it is a creative endeavor. Without passion, we are totally dull and spirit-less.

    Healing from what I experienced as a psychiatric client involved a great deal of forgiveness, in addition to actually fixing the damage. In addition, I could begin to harness gratitude for the experience of awakening to my true path and spirit (my personal truth) to which all of this led me. In the end, we are all human beings doing the best we can with what we know, learning as we go–hopefully. How we affect others is something we might or might not consider along the way.

    I can forgive what psychiatry and the mental health system did to me–the deep harm and betrayal–but that’s not a pass to continue doing it. It means that I’ve released my resentment, because I recognize how this all adds up for me and my life, how I’ve been guided to where I need and want to be at present. This is for my good, and for my holistic well-being, makes me feel lighter and clearer when I release resentment.

    But it still makes me angry that it continues, despite all of the obvious protests. So many of us call psychiatry and the like social abuse, purely. There is a lot of gaslighting that happens here, and that is very dangerous for people, can really mess people up. Can we perhaps look into this and see what this over the top oxymoron is about, that psychiatry is actually crazy-making? I believe it goes way deeper than the psych drugs, that’s just a symptom of the core issue here…

  • “The same goes for the EEOC. If they have been notified of a case where a man becomes unemployed because of discrimination based on disability, they have a duty and an obligation to represent this man in court. For free.”

    This is exactly what happened to me, I filed a discrimination suit based on disability (ADA violation) lawsuit with EEOC, after getting fired from a voc rehab agency as a client-to-staff employee, they had drafted me for their staff after I went through their program. I was succeeding wildly with clients, they were getting jobs they loved and were excelling at, and then management started reprimanding me for pissing off the CEO. I wouldn’t sign the reprimands, they were absolutely ridiculous, so they fired me, took three of them to do it, and I had no advocacy whatsoever. I asked why, and they kept it vague. I told them they were required to give me a reason (I’d been a manager for 17 years before this, I knew employment law), and they noted an email I had sent that they felt was inappropriate, which was really quite benign.

    I went to the EEOC on my own and filed a complaint, and it was denied.

    Then, I scoured the city for an attorney would not charge me, and I finally found one at a non-profit employment law teaching center. She was outside the “mental health” system, thank God. I think that was my saving grace. She heard me speak the truth, and not through the filter of stigma, and I was able to back it up because I requested my notes from the agency, and it was quite clear. In fact, the CEO had written exactly what Katie says above, “Alex doesn’t fit in.”

    What was interesting is that I made a lot of friends there, with other staffers. Of course, they abandoned me when all this started, they were so scared of losing their jobs. Although they did admit to me that they felt that managers were “torturing” me. Which is true, they bullied and gaslighted all over the place, rather shamelessly. I wanted to change agencies, and they refused to help me. They really wanted me out in the streets! It was very obvious. What could be more ironic than a voc rehab agency that cannot handle the “rehabilitation” part of their mission, and knows neither ADA nor employment law? Travesty.

    The attorney was great, I won the mediation, and she was extremely generous and gracious to wave the fee. EEOC awards aren’t that big. The mediator said I could go father if I wanted to but they would make life hell for me. This had already gone on for a year, I was in the middle of healing from psych drugs withdrawal, so I was totally spent by this time. Plus, I was more interested in getting back to work, so that was that. I was extremely fortunate to find this attorney. I do wish there were more like her out there.

  • “I imagine lots of survivors come from narcissistic families in which they played the scapegoat while their siblings became the golden child therapists”

    That describes my family dynamic, except that my sibling became an elitist academic, he’s the dept head at a prestigious university. Although the way I handled that part of my story of healing was to speak my truth about it, directly. My family story, and how I surpassed it, is in a film I made, where 6 of us speak very publically about our journeys through the system.

    I’ve been challenging my family system for a long time, with fascinating results. While rugged and unpredictable, overall, it’s been working in my favor and causing all sorts of shifts to occur, along with releasing their burdens I inadvertently took on.

    If you’re interested in seeing this film about healing through truth-speaking, here’s the YouTube link. It is feature length, 96 minutes, our stories interwoven throughout.

    This was made in 2011, and our stories have evolved from this point in time. I’ve learned a great deal and have refined my perspective since then. But at the time, this is how I was driving my healing, by speaking my truth. That was revelatory to me, the enormously powerful impact of this, and have been doing it ever since.

    In addition, I filed a complaint with EEOC against a voc rehab agency exactly because of all this we’re discussing, and I won, although it did get me professionally blacklisted (not the worst thing that could have happened, but of course it tested me financially, as is so common from all this).

    Although, years later, after distributing this film throughout the system, this agency lost its funding and closed, so I guess they got what they had coming. They could have made changes, but, instead, they chose to insist on their discriminating ways, despite the slap on the wrist they got, and it caught up with them. Perhaps they know no other way?

    All of this led me to alternative healing, and then training, and also to theater, filmmaking, and music, where I found my true calling. I keep experiencing that when one door closes, others open, and new parts of me emerge to meet what life puts before me. Life is a path unfolding unpredictably, teaching us our true nature through the process of evolution…

  • “These people, before they ended up in these largely useless institutions, may have wanted to be engineers, doctors, programmers and what not. Instead those desires and dreams, which are the desires of ordinary everyday people, get replaced by hopeless desires to change garbage. If you, who were a subject of the system, end up trying to be reformer of the system, you will always be consumed by the system and what happened to you in there. I don’t want to see that anymore. Instead, I want to see people achieve the dreams they had before all this junk took place. I don’t want to see them reform the system. I want to see them get rich as hell…”

    Amen. I’d call this shifting the poles. That is where true and real change will occur.

  • Katie, I think the truths you are speaking here are the Gordian Knots of the mental health system. I believe you have pegged exactly why “chronic illness” is the mythical order of the day within the system. This is energy draining for all concerned. As you so rightly say in your response to my above comment, everyone is diminished in these situations.

    Personally, I fear commonly disingenuous and extremely narcissistic staff more than the psych drugs. I believe the people we’re talking about here are more dangerous than the drugs, and the post traumatic stress from gaslighting can be very tricky to heal. After all, the drugging starts by people who choose to do the drugging, it is that very attitude that leads to the entire psych drugs debacle. There is such a cognitive disconnect here, it is so obvious.

    I healed after withdrawing from 9 psych drugs after 20 years of taking one thing or another, and it was very rough for me, of course, but with diligence and perseverance, I finally made it to the other side after a few years of intensive and creative holistic healing. But without a doubt, it took me a lot longer and the deepest healing imaginable to me, to heal from the utterly toxic relationship dynamics perpetuated in the mh system. I’m not even sure that is totally healed, the confusion from this can still pop up from time to time. Meditation serves me well in this regard, to get clarity and trust my gut instinct.

    I hope this article is widely read. To me, it is the bottom line truth of the matter, when it comes to wondering why the system is such a failure. Systems are made up of people with a common focus. Single mindedness is required, and in this case, it’s to keep people at least *believing* that something is inherently “wrong” with them, which, in turn, keeps clinicians/staff believing and acting as if they are the ones who are sane, stable, and, therefore, superior and the ones who are “accurate” in their assessment of “reality.” It is the essence of duality, discrimination, and marginalization, all systemic abuse.

    And to think, this is supposed to be about helping people who are seeking support due to trauma, and in so many cases, toxic family dynamics. It is an impossible situation, as long as staffers refuse to take responsibility for their own shadowy perception of “others.” That’s a huge leap in consciousness, so I don’t see it happening any time soon.

    But articles such as yours here, calling it out so clearly and reasonably, sure do move us in the right direction, so thank you again for this, very much. It is extremely validating, and obviously, from the comments on this blog, for so many of us.

  • “Learning how to love is itself where healing begins.”

    I agree–starting with learning to love one’s self, then learning how to extend it to others, or at least how to feel the feeling of love in our hearts. When we do, we feel the healing happening. A heart opening is evident, the feeling is powerful and unmistakable. Apparently, we have a long, long way to go, as a collective. Imagine the transformation. One heart at a time…

  • Your story is not only extremely inspiring and courageous, you have also perfectly captured the “mental health world” culture, as I experienced it as well, as, both, a client and an empathic clinical professional, one who has “been there.” Even as a graduate student in counseling psychology, I was privy to these kinds of dialogues and attitudes. It was disheartening, but I did my own thing, not really into these conversations, I was very focused on my training, very dedicated. At that time, I was not really getting the impact of all this on clients.

    Then, I discovered how it felt to be a client on the other side of this attitude, and it was more crazy-making than I can describe. I was unprepared to be treated this way, and it was not just me, it was all of us. It was an awakening to me, of the underbelly of our society–stemming from the professional side of the system.

    I found it over-the-top appalling, and it inspired me, as well, to look for a way to correct this, to influence change at that social dynamic level. Of course it led to all sorts of troubles for me, calling this out and challenging the system like this, but it also led to desirable change in my life, so as a result, I found my path, so it was all worthwhile, without a doubt.

    Still, it is thicker than tar and leads to a lot of needless pain and suffering for people, and it is precisely systemic gaslighting. All illusion, no integrity whatsoever. This is not truth or anything even close to resembling honesty and compassion; however, it is a travesty of deceit, pretense and duplicity. And who are you going to complain to? Another cog in that same corrupt wheel of stigma, discrimination, and utter lack of discretion? Guess what makes people feel insane, more than anything? That is some serious oppression leading to powerlessness. There is no safety here.

    This, especially, is vivid and rings true–

    “I remember one very revealing lunch when my new supervisor introduced me as a student in a work-study college program to a case manager colleague. The colleague went on to regale the lunch table with bigoted jokes about bipolar clients. It was like a comedy routine, and I could tell the table was used to joining in the laughter. She’d just won the agency’s case manager of the year award and was in high spirits, displaying her utter contempt for the clients she considered herself the savior of.”

    To me, this is the core of insidious mental abuse, because these authentic feelings of mockery do translate to the client, on at least an unconscious level. Although most can read it quite easily, these are not great actors, they don’t need to be, other than for their colleagues. Lack of client credibility due to stigma is easy fodder for two-faced hypocrites who gaslight by second nature. So calling them on it only makes it worse. It is a treacherous situation, insanity creating more insanity.

    “But I also decided I never wanted to work in, around, or in the neighborhood of anything that had to do with mental health ever again.”

    I don’t blame you one bit, that is self-respect in action.

    Peace and best wishes on your continued journey. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It speaks volumes with great wisdom and clarity.

  • “I have known people who looked back on careers they regret, and tried to do the right thing, and were just blocked and hammered. They died bitter.”

    Hammered, blocked, and dying bitter simply from trying to infuse the “mental health” field with a bit of integrity? Sounds more like a cult than a professional field, and with vulnerable clients, nonetheless. How dangerous–and seriously ironic–is this???

  • What a wonderful and courageous story. Congratulations on healing from psychiatry and reclaiming your life. You are a stellar example of natural healing, very inspiring.

    I think when we experience quantum growth and healing, it challenges those around us. That’s a good time to discover where our support and friendships truly exist, and a whole new reality emerges for us–much clearer, and filled with compassion and wisdom, as you talk about. That’s what I refer to as “transformation,” which, I feel, has the power to change the world. I’m so glad you found the inspiration to tell your story!

    I believe in the wisdom of what Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

    Very best wishes on your continued evolution.

  • My pleasure. I had a meeting with a weekly group this morning, and we were talking about some of this, I directed them here, to view the video. We specifically addressed the heart and spirit wounding in all of this, and the challenges of healing from that, to learn trust and tolerance. Not only is the world in dire need of significant change, we also have to heal from the trauma it has brought about en masse thus far. That is a daunting task.

  • Love the video, and I love your social welfare model of mental distress and emotional suffering. It all rings true to me and it speaks to my experience. I especially appreciated this slate in the video, and I am shortening it here, to extract the core meaning–

    “The DSM worsens outcomes by gaslighting… stigmatizing…promoting long-term drug abuse and…coercive ‘treatments.'”

    Unfortunately, people have taken this example and are paying it forward, big time. I believe once we understand exactly how gaslighting and stigma are expressed and projected, in so many ways subtle and overt, and the devastating effects these have on individuals and communities, we will be a step closer to resolving some of these socially distressing dynamics, the polarizing issues they create for all of us, as a collective, and the always eventual catastrophic effects thereof. Problem is, it can be quite challenging to change habits of thought, belief, and social programming/brainwashing.

    I will share this video when opportunities arise. Thanks for providing such good clarity so articulately and accessibly. We needed something like this. I look forward to subsequent videos.

  • Borut, I won’t argue at all with you that hormones play a critical role in all of this that is probably overlooked. I’m sure you know more about this than I do, and I would take you at your word, it certainly rings true to me, just intuitively.

    Re the mh system, I think there is a lot of information that would cramp their style, that they’d prefer to not consider, and simply invalidate off-the-cuff, and often with judgment based on ignorance (not having all the information). I actually talked about alternative perspectives and modalities to a group of public mh system clinicians and social service staff when I gave a little presentation a few years ago, and the response from them, as a collective, was, “the government doesn’t fund it.” So that’s what determines “healing” in the mh system, and even framework and perspective–what the government will fund. Hmmm…

    I don’t think everyone on here wants to see the mh system demolished, but I do. And when I say “demolished,” I do mean that I would like for it to go away, however best that could happen, and I’m not into violence or destroying anything. And some people do rely on the system at this point, for better or worse, so there are considerations here about transition and change happening to the point of paradigm shift, that’s not so easy.

    But admittedly, the system makes me angry enough to use your term, because, well, because it is what it is, and I think it’s a big mess and on top of that makes a big mess for its clients continuously. This is what it is sending out into the collective, aggressively, defensively, and insistently.

    I am being very frank and honest when I say I think it’s a menace to society at this point, and doing so much harm, it just can’t help it. There is no clarity or even desire for clarity to be found in the mh system, just ongoing power struggles, arguing, and severely polarizing and marginalizing systemic dynamics. That’s what keeps the system in business.

    I just have nothing nice to say about it at this point. I believe it is beyond redemption. That’s my personal conclusion, at the end of it all, after 21 years involved in all of this, starting with graduate school, and all through the layers and tangents.

    And that’s very unusual for me. I try to see something positive in everything, even if it is a life lesson through adversity. But as far seeing anything at all even remotely resembling positivity, light, or integrity in the MH system, I am truly stumped to come up with one single item.

  • If a person is drunk, then they have altered their naturally functioning mind and have also relinquished control, relying on others around them to accommodate him/her, which, in essence, is rendering one’s self powerless and burdening others unfairly. So of course they shouldn’t drive, their mind is not in control, the alcohol is. If their mind were functioning normally, none of this would be an issue.

    And if they are drunk and don’t see that driving is dangerous, then my attention would go to their spirit, and by that, I mean their heart and “emotional intelligence.” Imo, something would be amiss, here, like a disconnect, which makes life dangerous for them and others. Of course, that’s my personal interpretation of wanting to drive while drunk, others may have a different one.

    I can only hope I answered your question satisfactorily, AA. I did take it seriously, and this is to the best of my ability. I’m learning as I go, like anyone else.

    And btw, these aren’t my “claims” and “theories.” This is a school of thought, I am by no means alone in it, and in fact, more people are catching on to this and benefitting from it a great deal.

    I just happen to subscribe to it, because it gave me clarity whereas before I did not have it. This is what was on the other side of the dark night healing journey. It’s called LIGHT.

    Google this stuff, YouTube it, this is an option for people to get past the glass ceilings. These are not my original thoughts, I studied, learned, and applied them. It’s a choice. I just happened to make this one. I don’t want to burden others, just share the options.

  • Not sure if you’re referring to me in this generalization, but if you are, I can assure you that I’m not an academic. That’s an ivory tower perspective and rarely, if ever, applies to the true nature of humanity. Academia is where “cognitive dissonance” is born–the mind outside the body. That will never work, because that separation is purely illusory and leads to all sorts of misconceptions, projections, and delusions. It also leads to control, gaslighting, and marginalization.

    Where you and I seem to be in disagreement, Borut, is that you seem to feel that the body has power over the mind, and I’m saying the opposite–that the mind (and the inherent spiritual nature of it) actually has control over the body. The difference between your perspective and mine is a big gap, I think. This is a radical shift in perspective and paradigm–not just of healing, but of living.

  • I said nothing about religion. Having a spiritual perspective is not the same as being “religious.” I do not belong to or identify with any organized religion, but I do have my beliefs about energy and our spiritual nature. I don’t see how it is harming me, quite the opposite. Walking my talk and living consistently with my belief system is only healing and clarifying for me, allows me to create fruitfully. I have clarity about my life, process, and purpose.

    And we’re in complete disagreement when you say nothing is “above the mind.” To me, that is very limiting in perspective. There are many schools of thought about this from which to choose, based on what feels right to each of us, and that will always be diverse, as is our nature. These are personal choices we all make–or not, and that is a personal choice, too.

  • I agree, these cannot be separated. It depends on our unique nature and process, and where we are most inclined to focus. For some, the focus begins with something physical, because that can seem easiest to perceive for some, when it is affecting our bodies, and it seems concrete. If holistic healing is being applied, then from there, that will inevitably lead to emotional and spiritual issues–that is, pertaining to our spiritual inclination. Sometimes, scary and traumatic situations propel us to seek greater understanding of things, to expand our perspective. That often brings us relief because it opens the door to new potential solutions.

    For others, chronic discomfort is best identified as emotional, first, that is what they are most perceiving, so you’d begin there. Our emotions do affect our physiology, so eventually that would lead to explore physical issues as the result of chronic stress.

    And finally, some would begin with a spiritual perspective and perhaps their anxiety and depression, for them, begins with feeling disconnected from all that is, believing in nothing and feeling despondent over the meaninglessness of life, especially if one has been plagued by trauma and can’t seem to get out of that cycle. That would eventually lead to exploring deeply one’s emotional landscape and emotional responses to life–on what beliefs are they based? Needless to say, this would more than likely adversely affect our physical health.

    So like Monica, I believe mind/body/spirit is connected in everything, and the gestalt of our life experience is what we consider when healing, not just one aspect of it. That would not amount to core healing because it is inherently limited in perspective.

    How we perceive this and how we take our journeys of healing and personal evolution is going to entirely depend on where each of us, individually, is inclined most naturally to focus, I think that translates into ease. In the end, we are all looking for relief and a sense of peace about life (at least that’s always my intention with myself and others), so however we get there is up for grabs, to be discovered for each of us.

    Personally, I always start with energy, the spiritual nature of an experience or feeling. That info comes to me very naturally, I have a knack for it, so it the first thing I will notice, without any effort. That takes me to my emotions, to see what shifting I might be able to do here to meet my objective in the moment, and from that, I have found that things take care of themselves on a physical level, if I stay grounded, nourished, and always know my center. But that’s just my inclination, because it is ease and clarity for me, and my process of healing anything unfolds quite naturally and accessibly.

    My belief is that our spirits guide and heal us, so I make sure to stay clear on my spiritual beliefs, and live by them. That’s how I keep the best and clearest flow of energy, and am free to live my life as I wish, with intention and integrity. Keeps me healthy, relaxed, creative, and optimistic.

  • AA, in order to pursue this, I’d need to ask you a few questions to give me a picture of what you’re dealing with. I wouldn’t do this on here, that would not be appropriate. Plus, I’d only be willing to work with you if you identified yourself.

    As far as my professional qualifications go, I am trained and certified as an energy healer, spiritual counselor, and integral health practitioner. These are all based on subtle energies which are part of our life force. What I learned was how to identify, work with, and direct this natural healing energy to where we need it. That is a multi-dimensional process which involves emotions, beliefs, and our innate creative process. As we heal, we manifest a different experience of life because energy is shifting everywhere.

    I think I’m more of a teacher, because in reality, I don’t heal others, I don’t think that’s how it works. Instead, I help people to discover what tools and perspective would work to their best benefit, based on their own process, and then I help them apply these and witness the changes.

    I’ve never worked with anyone with “sleep disorder,” but I have helped people to heal very quickly from what they were calling “chronic fatigue syndrome” and “mononucleosis,” and I’ve helped people who used to call themselves “mentally ill” be at peace with themselves and go on to create their dreams.

    These are terms brought to me, I rephrase them to reflect energy. The first two labels connote energy depletion, so I start there, asking “what is depleting your energy?” and “How would be best to rebuild it.” Then we discuss possible root causes, and then move on to solutions.

    For the folks who call themselves “mentally ill,” it’s been about feeling very depressed, anxious, and chronically worried, and general internal chaos and lack of ability to focus, which, of course, merits various explorations in order to get to the core of what is going on, and then deciding what changes to make in order to feel grounded and in synch with one’s self, to find inner peace and clarity.

    For me, it’s never an illness, but always a matter of energy and how it is flowing. We easily develop blocks in our energy, and that can be due to chronic negative thinking, that’s energy 101, and it stands to reason. I know you may not like hearing this, but I am by no means the only one that believes this, it is rather common thought that we get in our own way with chronic negative thinking.

    Once those blocks dissipate, which occurs when we expand our self-awareness and relax our heart, then our energy flows naturally and smoothly, and that’s when we are on our way to healing, simply from growing and evolving, allowing things to change. Nothing is forever, in terms of the physical. We are in a constant process of change and growth.

    Thanks to neuroplasticity and practicing new ways of thinking, our neurons shift as we practice this with intention, diligence, and focus, and eventually, it becomes second nature and we self-heal as we go. Our bodies have innate wisdom, but it is up to us whether we trust it or not. It is an evolutionary process, never-ending. I believe there are always new things to learn in life, each and every day, and you never know when it will be exactly what you need.

  • Noted, AA, thanks for the feedback. My only desire is to offer hope for people, by telling my own story of success in healing from something which I was told would never heal, that there is no healing from what ailed me. Fortunately, my story and films have done just that, so I know that some people value my perspective and benefit from it, but of course this would not be universal, I wouldn’t expect that to be the case. I cannot presume what is possible or not possible for everyone, that is beyond my scope.

    Although when a client comes to work with me, it is because they know I believe anything can heal, and they want to know how that works and apply it, to take that particular journey. If someone has an issue with this perspective, we would more than likely hit an impasse sooner or later, which is fine, not everyone is a match when it comes to healing support. I see what we believe as a matter of personal choice.

  • I’m done with mental health anything, rebel. That stuff doesn’t exist any longer for me. My entire perspective of reality and sense of self has shifted, and there may be more of that to come because life is fluid and ever-changing. I’m living, learning, creating, and contributing to my community by way of opportunities that arise. I enjoy life a great deal now, have for a while. I’m part of a community of working healers, teachers and artists–these are my friends, partners, and those with whom I create. That’s it, and life goes on.

  • Response to oldhead, from the middle of this thread–

    “…isn’t psychiatry malpractice by definition?”

    I’d agree with that and I’m sure others would. But a lot of people don’t feel that way, and feel very strongly about their need for psychiatry and “medication,” so proposing it this way wouldn’t get very far, it would be battle among survivors who feel betrayed and harmed and clients who swear that psychiatry saved their lives.

    But, I think that there are a lot of people who can make a case that psychiatry led to trauma and injuries which only made matters of health, life, and relationships worse than ever. Were there enough of us who could persuasively articulate this, with evidence, reason, and consistency, then I think that would be a powerful case against psychiatry. I’ve never had trouble convincing people, at least not the ones who know me. My story was witnessed by a lot of people, we all know what happened, it is clear. I’ve already won one legal mediation against the system.

    This would have nothing to do with people who feel supported by it, that’s another group of people. If they don’t have a grievance, then they wouldn’t be participating in this. This would be for those who feel harmed by psychiatry, beyond the shadow of a doubt. I’m aware it’s a long shot, and I can’t say if anyone would be willing to go this far–either survivors or attorneys–but in theory at least, this would be an option.

  • “Depending on how one defines “clinician” — whether you’re talking about psychiatrists or so-called ‘psychotherapists.'”

    Referring to both.

    “My position is that regardless of the individual, psychiatry by definition considers itself to be treating diseases, which is inherently harmful regardless of whatever else is going on.”

    I agree!

  • That would be another topic of conversation. For now, I’m sticking to talking about healing brain injuries, to stay on topic with this blog. Main point here is discerning what gives hope vs. what communicates hopelessness, and the importance of that distinction when it comes to human potential.

    If we distinguish “good” clinicians from “harmful” clinicians, this would be a good way to assess that. Do we feel encouraged and inspired by the feedback we get? Or do we feel doomed and forever compromised? I don’t think there is any in-between with this, that I can think of right now, it’s either one or the other.

    I’d say the same for my friends and personal relationships, too. Mutual encouragement and support is an important quality for a relationship to have, I believe. Otherwise, I don’t much see the point in the relationship. It would be self-destructive, I think, in the end. Taking away hope is neither supportive nor encouraging, and can be devastating to people.

    In the power differential of therapist to client, messages of permanent damage will do the client in, without a doubt.

  • That’s why I stress self-healing. That was the most important thing I learned in all of this, that we are our own healers. Starts with self-compassion and heart-healing. There are tons of YouTube vids from different perspectives by folks from all walks of life, on how to develop this awareness. Just search “self-healing” and pages and pages of vids pop up from which to pick and choose.

  • Monica, thanks for being so direct and unambiguous. I agree with absolutely everything you say here, and my experience speaks to this as well. Neuroplasticity is vital in this healing, and that is a limitless process, a game-changer. There is no predicting the future, but we can influence our own in the best way by staying open to all possibilities.

    Like so many of us, I was told a lot things during my withdrawal that turned out to not only be completely false, but which at one devastating time in my life, led me to believe I had no hope of ever being functional again, so I tried to take my own life, thinking that must be true, because life had become hell, and I was asked to accept this. I guess because none of the many and varied clinicians around me had a clue how to help me, so to them, that meant that there simply was no help for me. If they couldn’t do it, no one could.

    After recovering from this profoundly dark period of my life, I was eventually inspired to learn all I could about self-healing, because what I was offered by the “mental health” field was just not good enough for me. In fact, I discovered ultimately that it was undermining and destructive to my well being–both, the drugs and the “therapy.” All of this was driving me crazy, in every sense of the word, and I had to heal from what I’m now calling “post-mental-health-system-traumatic-stress” (PMHSTS). That takes clever and creative healing. It’s new ground, with extremely rich and fertile soil.

    Since then, 14 years ago, I’ve had a fruitful practice which has helped many people heal and grow and make their dreams happen, I’ve made two well-regarded public service films about healing through truth-speaking and music, I have a band which performs as community service, and my partner and entire family have done remarkable healing and growth, spurred on by mine. I have two business partners for my Healing Academy for the Performing Arts, which is now growing, both of whom learned about new paradigm healing from me, and have applied it to themselves and their families, with tremendous benefit.

    Had I believed this bullshit about permanent damage, it wouldn’t have been just about me. There are many of us who would have been affectedly adversely by this pessimistic version of reality.

    We have a choice–keep hope alive, or kill it. It not only affects the person in question, but absolutely everyone around them, and their extensions, filtering in the community, then society, then the world. Think about how this ripples…

  • Plus, I can’t think of a better way to get the world’s attention than to file a class action suit on behalf of psychiatric survivors, against the APA. I’ve a feeling that would open up a dialogue like no other, and provide multiple platforms for exposing psychiatry for what it actually is. It would probably expose a whole host of other things, too.

  • Wouldn’t a class action malpractice suit against the entire industry be warranted at this point? I think that would be a good way to utilize funds, to bring justice, and allow survivors to be compensated for what was robbed from us in the process of making us sicker and sicker under the pretense of being some kind of “healing profession.” And we offer them evidence of our truth, and they keep doing it, as if our voices carry no weight or legitimacy.

    Julie’s right, the client’s voice has always taken a back seat, that is exactly the problem. No doubt in my mind that this needs to change. That is EXACTLY when the necessary paradigm shift will occur. Otherwise, it’s more of the same.

  • Hi Eve, thanks for sharing your position regarding present day psychiatry. What a tragic situation for so many people, as well as for our society in general. And there seems to be no end to it, despite our best efforts to bring to light the truth of the matter, in all different voices. It has become a vicious cycle of malpractice and social abuse. And the law just doesn’t seem to factor in here, somehow. It’s pure oppression, and extremely dangerous, to my mind.

    It’s rather mind-boggling, I think, that this continues on such an enormous scale, while we’re all grieving about it, and with quite a bit of clarity, I think. Talk about deaf ears and heads buried in the sand! I think the psychiatric field has taken “denial” and “avoidance” to new heights–as well as “cover-up.” Oppression is, both, supported and fueled by corruption.

    I had my own horrific experience with all of this–from which I had to heal, it was extremely traumatizing–as a former client of the system and also a former clinician. I now do healing work from an entirely different perspective, which would never be accepted or acknowledged by mainstream medicine, least of all psychiatry. Yet, it is exactly what worked to heal me and set me free from this utter chaos and confusion they call “the mental health field.”

    I love this line and agree with you wholeheartedly, “The whole universe of ‘mental health’ has gone mad.” You are so not kidding!

    Best wishes on your mission to help bring much needed change, and perhaps bring some clarity to this “madness.”

  • I feel extremely fortunate to have found the right healing path for myself, and gifted healers along the way. Referred by a friend, I went to see a medical intuit who reads energy, to see if she could give me guidance about how to get off all of these drugs. I had a 15 minute reading with her for $45, and she was able to tell me the root cause, how to heal it, and how to get off the drugs and back to my center. Over the course of a few years, I implemented what she had suggested, and it worked.

    It was rough, because I was on my own, and didn’t know anyone at all who had done this, nor had I read about anyone doing this. I was going totally by my personal experience, and the desire to alleviate all of this chronic pain and suffering I was experiencing, and get back to my life, once and for all! Total blind leap of faith, for reasons of survival. But I persevered and was systematic about it, and I won out.

    As I healed along this path, I trained in what I was learning, and I’ve had a practice for a while, and have recently established a healing community with a group of healers, teachers, and artists with whom I work, so I’m paying forward what I learned and it’s helping others now, both in and out of the “mental health” community.

    I found it to be a fascinating process, and it did lead to my connecting with my gifts in a profound way, as all that dense energy cleared away as per my healing, allowing me to find my center and grounding once again, leading to an entirely new sense of self. That’s how I ended up on stage, singing and acting, and now music director and piano accompanist for a local band. I seriously had no idea I could do any of this, and during the course of my healing and getting back into the community, it all clicked. It was a bit startling, but really, manna from heaven, just what I needed. It’s been an amazing journey so far, extremely creative in nature.

    That’s really great you were able to get off the drugs, rebel. My mother doesn’t really understand me, either, although I think I understand her pretty well. We’re able to have a good relationship now, as I have with my siblings as well. We did a lot of family healing, that was a huge part of this. I had to speak my truth to them about the family dynamics, and the role it played in my issues. That was an interesting time, and well worth the effort, very clarifying for us all.

    We’re all good now, for which I’m also very grateful. Not sure that would happen, but it did! I figure if I can heal myself, then extend this to my family and community, then who knows how far that will continue to ripple outward? I keep the faith…

  • This has triggered a lot of thoughts for me, there is so much to say about being on and coming off of these toxic drugs, and how all of this so intensely impacts one’s life, and often in the most devastatingly catastrophic ways. I consider myself extremely lucky and grateful to have made it through it as I have, but on the whole it is such a disaster, hard to say enough about it.

    So I will just add this right now because it is on my mind and relevant, and hopefully be done with it at this point. The issue of psych drugs is near and dear to me, I’m sure it’s one of the things ruining people, families, communities, and society in general.

    That’s fine for the folks that feel it helps them, that is not my place to question. But I do know that these are still utilized as tools for controlling and disabling people to keep the cash flow going–and a lot out of ignorance, too, and following “the norm.” I think it’s dastardly in all ways, and making a total mess for humanity in the most blatant AND insidious ways.

    While we’re talking about “reversing damage,” I’m also talking about other vital organs, aside from the brain. For 20 years, I lived with slightly elevated blood pressure, compromised liver, kidneys, and pancreas, according to levels taken at my routine Dr. visits (also a thing of the past, I will not see an M.D. any longer), and at one time there was talk of “pre-diabetes.” Of course I had my bi-yearly kidney checks, and watched those numbers shift over the years, along with lipids and sugars, up and down, often cautionary, giving me a bit of chronic stress I had learned to live with, and definitely affecting how I lived my life.

    From ages 21 to mid-40s, I felt like a borderline “sickly” person, always having to watch it, e.r. visits here and there, that would turn out to be panic attacks, which also began after I started taking psych drugs, I’d never experienced this before. So that got “medicated,” too, and let’s add “dual diagnoses” to the mix now. That was the start of my journey on benzos, on top of others.

    Eventually the ER visits were not panic attacks, but other crazy and extremely painful neurotoxin-induced symptoms.

    Since coming off of these, now at age almost 56, all of this has completely stabilized. I’m healthier than ever, active, present, focused, creating, working, living and loving, no medication or health issues of any kind, other than minor rashes now and then from allergies. That’s it. I can also stand on a bridge, look down, and then dance on the bridge, feeling great and alive, no panic, sweats, vertigo, nothing.

    Off the drugs, with subsequent herbal regeneration of organs and nervous system, along with other kinds of very interesting healing and learning, absolutely no panic attacks now. My nervous system doesn’t even register this any longer, “perceived dangers.”

    I began to perform onstage professionally, which was unexpected and new to me. Did that for years, as I detoxed and regenerated. It all started with a singing and preforming class I took, thought it would be a fun way to heal, if not a bit intimidating. I’d never done anything like that before, but the opportunity came to me.

    It became part of getting my nervous system stronger and more resilient. I had to take giant leaps of faith and trust this process. That was a mixed bag, kind of a wild ride. I was self-conscious, but I got away with it and it did the trick, got me a lot stronger and confident again, as was my intention.

    I still perform as community service. I get normal nervous, no panic attacks. No way in hell I could have done this on the drugs, I’d have had panic attacks, would have been paralyzed with fear. I worked during those years, but without an audience. I was able to handle any pa’s discreetly. It did not stop me from working or from going back to college. I sweated it out, but it was exhausting.

    I maintain naturally now, and no need for Drs. At my age, that’s a blessing and humbling. I can only feel grateful for this, after what I’ve been through medically. For me, it’s been a bit mystical, definitely miraculous.

    It’s weird, wouldn’t have thought it, but somehow, the process of flooding my system with these drugs over the years, in order to continue living a “normal mainstream life” (at the time, my goal, just to be on track like those around me), and then withdrawing completely and going through this exhaustive healing process seems to have impacted my auto-immune, self-healing, and overall resilience in a really powerful way. I’m a bit stunned by it, but certainly I’m physical evidence of bouncing back from the worst of it, after having ingested these for 20 years, compliantly. I just followed Dr’s orders, until it almost killed me.

    I don’t know what else to say about this that a lot of people don’t know already. It’s just such a sham and scam and I could rant forever about it, or at least until this is all brought to light, in a very public kind of way. If anything sickens me these days, it is merely the thought of taking these drugs.

  • “the very idea of “reversing” a brain state from a present condition to an earlier one doesn’t make a good deal of logical sense. Our brain chemistry in the future will never match exactly what it was in the past. There is no reversion, but rather progression and constant change.”

    While I agree with this in terms of how we grow naturally, and our minds and bodies change as we go forward, as that is the nature of things, and of course, there is no going back to what had been, in this regard, what I’m talking about by “reversing damage” means that during the time of my withdrawal, the brain damage had gotten so bad that I was not able to add 2 + 2, suddenly (and I’d been a bookkeeper, payroll administrator, retail manager, as well as an advanced math student during my school years), nor could I find the language I needed to communicate, and my reading comprehension went by the wayside, among other basic brain functions which had become impaired.

    I’d just finished graduate school when all of this started, and by this point, I was extremely nervous (putting it mildly) that these were permanent impairments, that I had suffered permanent severe brain damage from the neurotoxins. Scariest time of my life, thanks to this crap. I thought I was cooked.

    All that hard work I had done in my life, for nothing, I was thinking and feeling at the time, because the drugs seemed to have ruined my life. Sure did ruin a few years of it, but I’ve tried to make up for that, and to give those horrible years meaning. I did learn a lot that I otherwise wouldn’t have, that’s for sure. And in the end, it led me right to my true path, so ultimately, I could accept it all. Still, it all stank to high heaven because this was so obviously medically induced hardship on my entire quality of life, when I was trying to get help, and NO ONE WOULD ADMIT IT!

    Still makes me mad to think about it, though, because it seems as though nothing has changed! I deserve an apology and compensation, as do sooo many others. Like that’ll ever happen. Ah, the hell with it…

    Turned out that it was only temporary, thank GOD! I’m back to being able to do math like before, my language skills are fine again, and eventually, I could once again do all the basic things I could do before, and then resume with my natural evolution, unencumbered by interfering psych drugs, back to my natural way of being, evolving naturally. (Can’t emphasize enough the word “naturally”).

    Thank goodness I found remedies for this, but it was far away from the mental health world. The more I tried to get help and answers there, the worse things got, like salt on the wound, insult to injury, pick your metaphor.

    I focused really hard on fixing all of this, as at this point, my brain was, indeed, broken. The psych drugs had broken my brain.

    Fortunately, I was well guided to where I could fix it, so that I could once again do the 3 R’s. I started with children’s books and worked my way up. Felt like I was coming out of a coma and had to learn to walk and talk again.

    That’s what I mean by “reversing the damage.”

  • This is the most direct, clear, unambiguous absolute truth (to my mind) I’ve ever seen written about psychiatry. I reposted these words below, and took off quotes (to simplify) and numbered each of these perfectly justifiable reasons that psychiatry would not only merit abolishment, at this point, but also be taken to task, one way or another. I think each of these deserves distinction.

    These are the exact conclusions I’ve drawn from my experience, up to and including “creation of a ‘United Front’ of Professional Vanity to prevent criticism.” Damn if that doesn’t say it all, and what makes it an absolutely impossible situation, toxic and dangerous. It’s bad enough for any reasonably grounded and calm person to face this, but for someone who is vulnerable and justifiably angry, confused, in fear, being coerced, what have you, and at several disadvantages to begin with, I can only see this as social abuse and total violation of human rights. What else? I have faced this before, and it is treacherous. I did fight back though, but it is not made easy, not in the slightest. How on Earth could this ever translate to healing, or anything good, for that matter. These are social ills! Or at the very least, the root cause of them.

    And when you compound it with the other 6 reasons, I think it’s a lock. Especially #6 for me, is powerful. I’ve complained about this often, the utter lack of safety and reliability of 1-1 meetings. That is a risk, no doubt. Not always of course, but all too often, the power differential is totally taken advantage of, resulting in power abuse, which is what I think all of these add up to. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell in the moment when one is being gaslighted. But it is felt later, I guarantee it. I see it as a form of post-traumatic stress. It’s a rude awakening.

    I’m sure there are more, but these are all totally true–again, from my experience–and flagrant in their power to marginalize select people (usually the ones who are awake), by bullying and overpowering, then avoiding responsibility, simply from trying to get support. So much lying, passing the buck, and cover up take place here. That is one helluva betrayal, and extremely costly for unsuspecting clients. The veil has lifted, thank goodness.

    I think these are relevant here in the USA, too. UK is being a role model here, imo. Thank you!


    1. Psychiatry is under criticism for its subjectivity and unaccountability.

    2. Brief crises are defined as lifelong conditions. There is no recognition of this ambiguity.

    3. Complaints are seen as symptoms.

    4. Patients are misunderstood or slandered.

    5. The pessimism of working in a Hospital causes Confirmation Bias.

    6. Psychiatry in its present form is based on a one-to-one interview that is then written up from the memory of the person who conducted the interview. This leaves a lot of scope for misrepresentation, and hard evidence such as videotape is not used.

    7. Nor is there group inter-rater reliability, but instead the creation of a “United Front” of Professional Vanity to prevent criticism.

  • “There’s a tendency to follow what’s around us as the right message – but it’s usually a kind of socially created message.”

    I think that’s a bulls-eye, Fiachra. What I learned that helped me the most to heal–by far!–and what I help others to do in my practice, is to get our own information. I can sometimes bounce something off of others to get another perspective, and I listen to what others say, as teachers, to consider new things to see if I can apply them with relevance.

    But in the end, it is my own personal perspective and viewpoint in the moment that is going to influence me the most, regarding my own personal growth, healing, and evolution.

    As you know from practicing meditation and mindfulness, when we practice these, we reduce the noise around us in order to hear our own inner voice, what some call our inner guidance or “spiritual voice.” THAT is our true guide and healer–our higher selves. That’s all we can really trust, because you’re right, messages from the outside are socially created, which can be for all sorts of cynical purposes and which also can be just terribly misguided for us. These can be mindless rules and guidelines, which serve those dishing it out, but not others. They can be touted as “truth,” when in fact, it is merely personally subjective, illusory, and even double-binding oppressive.

    In addition, these can be outdated, passed down generationally–because “that is how things have always been done.” But times change, along with society, and these messages can lose their relevance, and still be practiced, if we act simply like sheeple. Waking up means realizing that it is time to update our information.

    With the world in such chaos, I would say that anything that’s being done simply because that is the way it has been for a long time, should be considered archaic at this point. This is the time for groundbreakers and pioneers. Nothing will look as it does now, when it is being done for the good of all, because right now, that is not happening! Our world leaders are in disarray, hording resources, and lying. So curious what a world led with integrity would look like. Have we EVER had that?

    We, ourselves, know ourselves the best. We’re allowed to make up our own rules for living, because we have free will. If the choices involve harming others, then I believe those doing harm will pay for that in the end, one way or another.

    Relying on others for information without getting our own not only creates chronic dependence, it results in giving away our power. That will never work when it comes to healing anything.

    Now, that is *my* truth, I think it stands to reason. It may, however, not apply to others. That is not for me to say, but for others to decide for themselves.

  • Thanks for the link, Fiachra.

    “…improvements must be made in mental health care both within and outside of the NHS, to make sure people get the support they need before they reach crisis point.”

    I agree of course that so much neglect and misguidance happens along the way, that it is easy to reach a crisis, which points to everyone along the way who was not paying attention–system, family, self, et al. Neglect is a huge factor in all of this, I think, as is being guided down the wrong path. Seems to have happened a great deal, from all that I’ve read on here over the years. That was my experience, as well, and I had to take back control of my own life. It was my fault I gave it away in the first place. I thought I was helping myself and doing the right thing, but in the end, this was not the case. Lesson learned!

    But I don’t exactly agree with this–

    “She [spokeswoman for the prime minister] said extra money being invested in the NHS this Parliament would help ensure improvements take place.”

    While funding always helps, a true paradigm shift would come from perspective and attitudes changes. I think where true change will occur is when awareness is expanded around what it means to be a human being.

  • What’s interesting is that while I was on the drugs, toward the end there, I did have a brain scan, as per a psychiatrist. I was having all sorts of weird symptoms that no one could put into any sort of context. I was suffering from them, and they were bizarre and painful, kept taking me to ER. Last thing he’d think was that it was because of the drugs, he was looking for something else to be wrong with me, on top of what had already been established as being “wrong” with me.

    This was the start of the psychiatric calamity for me. The scan found nothing unusual, but on my last trip to the ER, the attending physician said, “You have got to get off of all this medication!” That’s what did it, and I sought the path off the drugs, which turned out to be an easy recipe, but hard to put it all into practice right away because of the loss of functioning I was experiencing, as well as the organ damage that had been done.

    But I persevered, followed the instructions I got from the healers I began to work with–in that new paradigm–and succeeded in the end. Took a few years and tons of faith and trust. There were times I didn’t think I’d make it to the end of all that, but I did, most thankfully. The experience changed me, grew me, and gave me clarity about my life path and purpose.

    And of course, all of those disabling, disorienting, and extremely painful and bizarre symptoms completely disappeared, been gone for over 14 years now. I’m in perfect health, and with no complaints about anything at this time, other than what is going on in the world around me. That is most troubling.

    My measure of health and well-being would not come from a brain scan to prove anything, but more so from how I feel in my body and how I feel about the way my life is unfolding. I’m happy and settled with it all, and I live a good life, feeling fulfilled in it, plenty of fun and joy in living now, and I’m helping others in a variety of ways whenever I can, including people I don’t know, through my YouTube vids. Sums it up for me.

  • “I would say, given those pervasive negative outcomes, there is definitely a need for a paradigm change when it comes to treatment modalities.”

    No question about it. The drugs interfere with our natural process of growth and evolution, at best, and kill us at worst. Most often they compromise one’s well-being and overall quality of life, and they are so often used as ways to control behavior, so that one “fits into the norm,” which I think is an abomination on many levels.

    It took me years to wake up to the damage they were doing to me. I discovered that on my own, from the increasing pain and lack of functionality I began to experience after a while. All psych drugs related, without a doubt. That was an extremely costly experiment for me.

    There are many established better ways of healing and navigating our personal growth, which work to support our nature rather than to dangerously suppress it, as these psych drugs do.

  • “there is strong evidence from brain scans, neuropsychological testing, and clinical evaluations that every class of psychiatric drug causes irreversible damage to the brain, especially with exposures lasting months and years.”

    This is not across the boards. I was on many of these psych drugs for almost 20 years–tons of them toward the end of that time frame–and while at first I did have brain injury, it eventually healed with a lot of hard work, and by addressing the injury from a variety of perspectives. My mind is clearer than ever and my brain functions just fine–in fact, better than before I started taking these neurotoxins, because the process of healing is powerful in its ability to increase our clarity and resilience, while offering new perspectives by which to experience life. For me, coming off these drugs meant a whole new life and reality, way more expansive, grounded, and creative than ever before.

    Saying it is “irreversible” only spells doom for a lot of people, and I know with certainty that it is a false claim, from my own experience.

  • “When I learnt in Buddhism that no one person was (very) ‘special’ I was very disappointed…”

    Fiachra, this made me think of a quote I love by Marianne Williamson. I guess in one respect, no one is “special,” above and beyond anyone else; and the flip side is that we’re all special, in that we are all uniquely gifted, one way or another, so why not own it and enjoy it, as we share it, for the benefit of the greater good? And, encourage it in others…

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

  • I have no problem with exploring language as we wade through all of this, but I was going with what I understood to be the spirit of these words, which to me translates into the stages of radical change and transformation, in which a breakdown of the old is necessary, and this is met with all sorts of responses from different individuals. Change is easier for some than for others, depending on flexibility and grounding, I think. I believe it’s an internal process which translates into an external one, because it is universal.

    For me, personally, it fits the bill–having fallen into an “extreme state of being” while withdrawing from the psych drugs, which is what I’m referring to in my experience as the dark night of the soul. And then working through all of that systematically from a variety of angles–mind, body, and spirit–is what led to a new sense of self and personal reality for me, based on entirely different beliefs than what I was raised to believe, and that which mainstream society dictates and projects, via media and academic education. It’s quite a contrast in, both, feeling and perspective, and therefore, in my perception of reality, as well as my experience of life. Much, much better now, major relief, expansion, creativity, and freedom to be, in this realm.

    Thanks for the link, very interesting! This is actually precisely my area of focus in my life’s work. I have a group now in which we are specifically working with this shift in reality. We call it The Healing Academy for the Performing Arts, where we work with principles of energy and creativity in order to manifest that which brings light to the planet. I’m working presently with a social service agency that wants to learn these new ideas and how to apply them to their services; and we’re also a band, bringing music to senior communities.

    And in the process, we’re expanding our awareness and raising our energy. It’s all based on what I learned and applied in order to come out of that dense state of being, brought on by my experiences in the mental health system.

    So much to explore, learn, and discover here. Personally, I think this is the game-changer. At least for me, it has been.

  • Great stuff here, Matt, thank for bringing it to the forefront. A lot to comment on, but for now, I will keep it brief.

    This really stood out to me:

    “Psychotic breakdowns are important in many respects despite their painfulness, their scariness. They break apart old systems of belief at the foundation and force a re-evaluation of life, of one’s relation it, to the journey and the work that one is here to do.”

    Yep. Perfection. I’d call it dark-night-of-the-soul. It’s how we see the light, by contrast–what many call “awakening.” Takes work, creativity, and trust in going way outside the box to unfamiliar territory and embracing the unknown–well worth it, imo. That was my experience, in any event.

    I believe this is happening on a global scale now. Old systems are breaking apart, having become so corrupt at this point. This is a necessary and unavoidable step in the process of healing, change, and transformation.

    Nice way to end the week, thanks again 🙂

  • “I struggle with accepting that these type of people are like the rest of us, who are able to feel a wide range of emotions such as guilt and shame.”

    I respect your confession here, Shaun, but this is a really powerful and revealing statement. Guess again if you think “these types of people” (that phrase alone says it all, along with “like the rest of us”) do not feel a wide range of emotions. Guilt and shame are imposed on people who go through the system, and it is felt profoundly. Where do you think the rage comes from?

    Trust me, we feel a wider range of emotions than you could ever imagine. You need to go through this as a client in the public system to get it, that’s the only way. Were you to feel guilt and shame deeply enough, you’d know what I mean.

    And btw, “these types of people” and “like the rest of us” is the essence of discrimination, marginalization, stigma, and social oppression leading to systemic abuse. It’s called “bigotry.”

  • I know this question was directed at Matt, but I like the question and would like to take a stab at it myself, because it is direct and relevant to our current social dynamic.

    “How would you describe someone who presents as unable to feel empathy and enjoys hurting others?”

    Deep, profound suffering due to chronic heart and spirit wounding. A lifetime of getting kicked to the curb, resulting in feelings of powerlessness. Hurting others is one way to demonstrate power over others.

    I do wonder where it all begins, what are the core wounds? That would be different for everyone. And then, how to heal those wounds, and all that has piled on as the result of them over the years, in order to alleviate the suffering. That would also be unique to each individual.

    What I’m not at all fond of is the DSM version of human suffering. That is based on the illusions of separation and elitism, and sorely lacks empathy in and of itself, as well as any sense of the human experience or true diversity. It’s actually quite insulting to humankind and causes only more suffering, confusion, and wounding for people–literally adding insult to injury.

  • That’s ok, felt good to write it out.

    Regarding Shaun, out of curiosity after all this speculation about him, I googled “shaun f psycotherapist Colorado,” and a linkedin account matching this and all that he has stated–80 patients, skiing–did come up, exactly as he said. So unless he is committing identity theft, which I very seriously doubt, I know he is for real. I really had no reason to believe otherwise, but like I said, the speculation made me curious, and it was easy enough to find this information.

    Regarding Shaun’s statements and attitudes, that’s his truth, not mine to judge or to argue with. That’s my position. Other than on a few days of internet, I don’t him at all.

    Although I do make it clear that I’m no fan of “mental health” anything, and one of those people who are dubious about psychotherapy, based on not only having been a long-term client before I realized it was leading me down a big rabbit hole, but also on having been a psychotherapist myself, before defecting from the field, because I thought it was bullshit, and it served only to screw me up, in so many ways, which I had to fix going another route entirely. So that’s my truth of the matter.

    I do feel that anyone is entitled to what they feel helps them the most, so on that I agree with Shaun. If someone is going down the “wrong” road (which I’m not sure that can really be, so maybe if he or she going down a road that would wind up being harmful to them in the end, would be a better way of putting it), then that is up to that individual to discover on his/her own. I cannot judge accurately another’s path, that’s impossible, and I’d feel extremely presumptuous and arrogant doing so.

    Otherwise, I think he is honest and transparent, and I respect that, regardless of anything. Fwiw…

    And to Shaun, please forgive me for talking about you in 3rd person, and we never have interacted. But I’ve been reading, and I wanted to answer oldhead’s question, out of respect.

  • Not sure what I was ambiguous about, but for the record, I’ll be as clear and direct as I know how—

    I do believe that humans suffer from all sorts of life trauma, inner conflict, and energy-draining events and people. I believe that when we have good examples of unconditional love, self-responsibility, and boundaries when we are kids, then these traumas and conflicts integrate in a natural way as we go along in life, and we grow and evolve as we do, according to how our hearts and spirit nature dictate, because I believe this is where our inner guidance resides, what I would call our “spirit voice.” When we connect with this, we relax entirely because there is a kind of clarity that is extremely reassuring, and it doesn’t go away.

    However, when we grow up in chaos, confusion, isolation, and neglect in a stigmatizing, bullying, or gaslighting environment, then our stuff doesn’t integrate, but more so, it fragments us, because our processes have been misguided. I believe that is when extraordinary anxiety bubbles up, and this can be debilitating in many ways professionally and socially.

    I do believe that there is a condition which exists in our society, which some refer to as “mental illness,” which to me, would amount to chronic and never-ending internal conflict which is powerful enough to distract us from our life path and personal creative goals, and which can also easily cause self-sabotage.

    I also believe that most peoples’ perceptions are distorted these days, because of all the brainwashing and social programming that has taken place due mostly to media, I think, and also thanks to academia. I think the academic world is rife with brainwashing and programming, and it pits people against each other, so it’s more about personal professional agendas than social well-being. I come from a very academic family, and they drove me nuts with their oppressive way of thinking, all focused on “being right,” as opposed to getting clarity on truth, which is a humbling endeavor.

    I’ve awakened to some things, having worked hard to deprogram from all the falsehoods I had taken on as “truth” (like the fact that I had a “chronic illness” and needed these “meds” for the rest of my life, that turned out to be utterly false, which I discovered only after they caused me life catastrophe, from which I’ve recovered, thank God); but still, one never knows the false programs they are carrying around, we’ve all been duped, so I still work with this, but guided by my own information, not on what others tell me is *their* truth. I find the truth of others interesting, sometimes, but it is easily not mine, and I think that’s natural diversity.

    I think we’re in a collective process of waking up to all this, and it is causing tremendous anxiety in a lot of people, even panic. That can be the result of facing hard truths, and not wanting to accept them. That can also cause profound internal struggles and enormous fear/dread.

    I think it’s fitting that you lumped me in the same category as Matt in your statement above, because where I wholeheartedly agree with Matt is that whatever you want to call these conditions, they are curable. One can heal, grow, and move on from these by resolving these inner conflicts and shifting one’s self-perception. It’s very hard work, and hardy, too. Pays off big time, from what I’ve experienced and witnessed in others.

    As I’ve said repeatedly, I was on these drugs for 20 years and accepted my diagnosis for a long time, believing in this programming, although I was totally active, social, and I had a successful career, got two degrees, lived a successful mainstream life, even though I was on a lot of drugs for different things by then. The first drugs I was given went on to create all sorts of other issues inside of me, which I did not realize was happening until I as almost 40. I had started taking these when I was 21.

    So right after graduate school, I chose to come off them, and that is when the real adventures in the system began for me, followed by spectacular healing and very positive and fulfilling life changes, part of which included suing an agency and speaking my truth about discrimination. Winning that legal mediation gave me the confidence that my truth was being heard, so aside from getting me out of the system, it began my journey as an activist.

    While I have nothing personal against psychotherapists and psychiatrists as individuals, I have disdain for the entire “mental health” field because I feel it is sorely misguided and based on severe power differentials, economics, gaslighting, Munchausen by proxy, and is inherently dehumanizing. I say this from my own education and training, followed by being the client of many therapists while in social services and group therapy. I saw it across the boards, over and over again. I think this field largely makes people sick and keeps them sick, because that is how they get business.

    My healing came from an entirely different perspective, far and away from “mental health” anything, and it was amazing the difference between what I learned in graduate school, and what I learned in a real healing environment, like night and day. So I continued my training in this direction, as I healed by leaps and bounds.

    Today, I take no drugs, I haven’t been in therapy for almost a decade, and I am on my own with my health and life now, creating tons, including films and music, as healing tools and community service. I’m grounded, healthy, happy, productive, and fulfilled. I love my life, and I never thought I’d be able to say that.

    In addition, I am teaching what I learned to others, including presently to the Board of Directors of a social service agency that wants to be as unlike as the system as they possibly can. They want to learn how to actually heal what some people call “mental illness,” and have contracted me to work with them and to teach them how this works, which I am currently doing. I also have a second group, having nothing to do with “mental health” anything—mostly a group of artists and teachers—and they are learning to manifest what they desire, from this very same information.

    Other than that, from all that was said on here, I would never, ever challenge anyone about their healing path, I think that is their business, and if they feel good about it, there is nothing to address. I feel strongly about that. Otherwise, I see that as a violation of personal space, and can be really detrimental to a person, in very subtle ways, to challenge their own sense of self and their reality.

    It also makes me angry that people are falling through the cracks and suffering every day, while others are fighting over who is right vs. who is wrong. I think in this movement, or whatever it is, there is more emphasis on activist ego than on resolving these issues. I also think a lot of activists here are merely jet-setters, out for their own gain, and to be hot shots.

    So while I continue to post here on occasion, it is only to offer alternative perspectives from the mainstream, and also to get some clarity for myself, for my benefit and that of my clients and students. I don’t see a lot of power here to create change, as a unit, as it is too fragmented and in disarray, I see no cohesion, and therefore, diminished power. We teach by example, not by forcing others to believe what we believe. That will never work.

    Although simply by virtue that some people, like me, can get further clarity participating here, then that is beneficial to society, in the long run. But I personally got off the drugs and changed my life about a decade before I even heard of Mr. Whitaker and his work. I came on here referred by someone, because of my story, and it has been educational as far as group dynamics go, and internet communication.

    That’s where I am at present with all this, more learning to come, I’ve no doubt. I hope this clarifies unambiguously my position.

  • “We are a shame-free zone. Language that primarily exists to disparage, shame, dismiss, taunt, bait, exclude, or otherwise diminish another person is not allowed on Mad In America.”

    I addressed this specifically with Mr. Whitaker a few years ago, before I even got involved here, just from reading, given the issues discussed on here, especially trauma from the psychologically violent chronic social abuse that occurs within the system. That conversation went nowhere. So, I dove in, trying to address the bullying on here, myself, including the cultish-like group bullying that I think goes on, and I got beaten up for it. My point proven.

    It has degenerated even more since then, and I’m not sure what this is resolving in society. It is hard for me to reconcile that “social justice” is part of the MIA tagline, and yet, I see people demeaned, baited, shamed, marginalized, and called all sorts of disparaging names on here constantly. Seems to be built into it, somehow, just like in the system. This is terribly unsafe, especially for a lot of survivors. Not all of us are callous.

  • Jeez, this entire discussion feels “bipolar,” or whatever. At the very least, makes me feel a bit seasick. I guess I don’t have the constitution for this–or the desire to convince of/persuade/prove to another my personal reality, to be perfectly honest.

    I’ve shared quite a bit over the years, and very publically, including on YouTube, my own story of healing from bipolar diagnosis after releasing the psych drugs, to help encourage others who want to take that path. And I specifically say “healing from the diagnosis,” along with the medical malpractice, social abuse and flagrant discrimination from the system that accompanied this. I actually don’t believe in the “bipolar” label, I find it very misleading. I think that is entirely something else happening, on a few different levels. In any case, naysayers are part of life.

    I think that’s what really drained me the most going through my own personal “mental health system” disaster, needing to explain myself and prove my reality, repeatedly. That, alone, is demeaning and terribly patronizing. It’s also extremely and chronically stressful, feeling like one is always on trial–not just distrusted, but always trying to be proven wrong. Horrible doesn’t even begin to describe it. That is some serious mental, emotional, and psychological abuse.

    And worse yet, it was always to no avail, that is a bottomless rabbit hole. Getting away from all that was extremely freeing and grounding. I call it “therapy brain,” incessant chatter, never a resolution, constant endless rumination; and ultimately, needing to be “right” in order to feel resolved, kind of black & white thinking–as if there were ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ when it comes to personal realities. That’s what it felt like to me, anyway, until I broke those habits and found some sustainable mental peace. Biggest relief of my life.

    RIP Carrie Fisher, a brilliant talent and extremely courageous human being.

  • “…the values (or lack thereof) of inpatient psychiatry do not include basic human dignity and the need to experience nature. The benefits of nature could help so many, but that would depend on creativity, initiative and “outside of the box” thinking that is entirely missing in so much of modern mental health care.”

    Very well said, and I agree. The mental health system/field is Dickensian, to my mind. Seems to be a complete disconnect from the human spirit, which is how it is dehumanizing.

    In healing myself from post-mental-health-system traumatic stress (my coined term for 2017, PMHSTS), I was able to get pretty far while still living in San Francisco. But eventually, to really fully evolve out of that and shift back into a self-respecting identity and feeling, I had to move to a natural rural environment. That was a trick to make that happen, as the system had drained me of resources, but I followed a certain path which lit up for me, and it worked, I landed next to a Redwood forest in a very grounded community, surrounded by nature. Biggest relief of my life, and a lot of quantum healing has occurred, mainly through making inner peace my goal.

    Getting away from the scene of the crime and then grounding in pure nature has had the most amazing healing effect on, both, my partner and me. We figured that would happen, but the depth of how this feels cannot be done justice with words, it must be experienced. I get the transcendentalists now–we ARE nature. It is when we forget this, and in turn, deny our nature and that of others, that we run into trouble, I think.

    Plus, I’ve been able to create tons and move forward in every respect. Nature is also creative, and a most supportive tool for our own innate creativity. Nature is both teacher and nurturer, like universal parents, so it can fill that gap, too. Trust in people is one thing, and most often rather dubious these days, unfortunately; but nature something I can ALWAYS trust to be authentic and real.

  • I am committed to helping the world become a more supportive, nurturing, inclusive, and joyous place to live, promoting music, the arts, and new perspectives and explorations on what it means to be human.

    I also will continue to speak up about social bullying and counter it with unconditional kindness toward others.

    In addition, I will continue to teach about self-healing.

    Hopefully, one day, this will add up to the world realizing that there really is no need at all for any of this–psychiatry and the like. All we really need is to be a much, much, much, much healthier society. And by “healthier,” I mean one in which people are not annihilating each other on a daily basis, one way or another, either physically, emotionally, or spiritually, but instead, at least respecting each other.

    Can you imagine the blow psychiatry would take if people actually treated each other with kindness and respect? There’d be no need for “mental health” anything! We’d actually be at peace, if we can even imagine such a thing.

    That’s my vision. Thanks, as always, Bonnie, for your commitment to global well-being. Happy New Year to all!

  • Courageous truth-speaking from the voice of lived experience, thank you Jarett. Psychiatry is a train wreck, no doubt, and tragic. Congratulations on finding your way to clarity and for taking action in the direction of your well-being, based on your own self-knowledge and wisdom.

    “I’m convinced that I’m on this planet to help others find the same kind of peace.”

    Inner peace is, indeed, a gift we can share lovingly with others. Very best wishes on your noble mission, and your continued healing.

  • Ekaterina and pulpamor, thank you both, I really appreciate your kind words. It is always so gratifying to hear when the film speaks to others and gives hope, and perhaps a bit of clarity around these complex issues, from the inside out. I’d never felt so vulnerable in my life as when I published this on YouTube! I’m grateful for your comments, makes it all worthwhile.

    *Sorry, just noticed this posted above where I had intended. I’m referring to the comments below this post.

  • Indeed, it is all so personal depending on your life circumstances. We’re all on a learning curve, that is human, which I believe we ALL share, regardless of absolutely anything.

    Thanks for asking about it, here’s the link to my film, Voices That Heal (96 minutes). 6 of us share our stories of healing and of going through the system. We discuss a variety of related issues and are all on different healing paths and not necessarily of like mind, we are highly diverse. We were all part of the same speaker bureau at the time (5 years ago), which is how we came together for this.

    What we really explore here is the notion and feeling of being “othered,” as a primary cause of chronic distress, where this originates and how we inadvertently internalize these stigmatizing messages, and how we shift this through our self-perception. To me, that is how we can be our own healers.

    No book yet, I’m working on that now, with a co-author. Stay tuned! I hope you find the film engaging and valuable.