“hidden inside those very false diagnosis are very probably our natural gifts and talents when they don’t try to drug and therapize all these people, they could use these natural gifts and talents to make the world a better place.” That is exactly right. It is a crime against humanity for this very reason.
“hidden inside those very false diagnosis are very probably our natural gifts and talents when they don’t try to drug and therapize all these people, they could use these natural gifts and talents to make the world a better place.”
That is exactly right. It is a crime against humanity for this very reason.
Being dehumanized by individuals to whom one has given their power through trust (or programming) while vulnerable with gaping psychological wounds and poly-drugged out of one’s nature (and mind), as their crazy-ass version of healing from trauma and finding one’s true path in life, would probably be one reason people would consider killing themselves, and often do. That is pure suffering on every level, makes no sense to any reasonable and rational part of ourselves.
And then to have a society, culture, and legal system allow it, that would nail it. No one to turn to at that point. Some call this “dark night of the soul,” and indeed it is. It’s also a “sick society.”
Of course “they,” of the current establishment, are looking for other reasons outside of the human being factor without considering that, perhaps, life is simply over the top stressful, and especially for many people who find themselves particularly vulnerable. Without effective ways to relieve this stress and move through hard times, the pressure will build and the stress will appear everywhere, it will become chronic leading to sleep deprivation more than likely, for one thing, and that can lead to all kinds of issues in life and health which can be like a Gordian knot. If there’s no one around with a bit of patience and empathy, that is trouble for the soul.
So many people kill themselves for all kinds of reasons, a perfect storm leading to being profoundly dispirited and disillusioned with life, people, ourselves, in chronic terror and lack of safety, etc., all which lead to a choir of negative beliefs and voices along with chronic physical pain.
I felt this way twice in my life–going on the drugs at age 21, and then as I was withdrawing from them 19 years later. Been 20 years since my withdrawal, so I can look back on this with quite a bit of clarity at this point, I’m no longer that person, I was never, ever suicidal outside of this, I’ve always loved life and it’s challenges. This was too much, though, and I had no idea who I was, which is why I was reaching out for assistance, but unfortunately, to the wrong people.
That was one factor, the chemical shifting, first from my nature to something artificial which would cut me off from my emotions so that I could feed into the system, like everyone else; and then back from artificial to natural, breaking that addiction in my body, very painful and absolutely no one around me understood it, least of all my psychiatrist at the time. My personal symptoms did not fit the studies, so he figured I was making this up. And he told me so, kept calling me a liar, what I was saying was a falsehood, etc., as I am just starting the throes of withdrawing from a lot of drugs that were eroding me from the inside.
Everything I said was suspect, as though I were lying on purpose. He was LOOKING FOR IT! That would not inspire trust nor anything healing, obviously. 2020 hindsight…
I was confused, disoriented, brain jumbled, (which I knew, no one had to tell me, didn’t know what to expect would happen from there), in the worst pain of my life and scared to death. I was in mid-life and it was right after grad school, which is where this disaster started. I’d have no reason to lie, and I was in fact speaking a lot of truth raw, had no filter, which would be reasonable under the circumstances.
I was trying to get back on track with life as I was healing and have medical support in my withdrawal. I was in a profound chemical daze and taking responsibility for my life. That was a huge fail, trusting this guy, and a specific group of therapists who threw me under the bus, and tragic irony to me. I know better now, it’s the system.
Which leads to the other factor which lead to my utter despair and hopelessness—i.e., the profound lack of competence, insight, and just plain old-fashioned humanity and loving kindness by the professionals around me at that time, these were just nowhere to be found. These were mean, cold, rather robotic people, totally full of themselves, and they were in complete alliance with each other, loyalty to the system at the *extreme* expense of the client.
If anything, consider that the “mental health” industry is injurious to the point of people wanting to kill themselves. That’s good research fodder, I think.
I’m not trying to be sarcastic or grand stand, but I am angry about this. It’s hard to express adequately and with some kind of neutrality, this triggers me every time I think about it. But this article inspired me.
I am so sick of NOT directing the responsibility where it should be, and I’m fed up with the lies that are confusing everyone. It’s driving everyone crazy at this point. So I’d like to officially give it back: Liars.
Thank you for sharing your story and the important insights which you gained from this experience which led to your healing. This is an awakening.
I feel as you do, that this is more common than not. Healing from gaslighting and narcissistic abuse is the order of the day, and it’s a complex healing to unravel systemic lying, many layers of “reality” become vague and corrupt in this dynamic. This needs to be brought to light and disentangled, as you so skillfully have done, in order to relieve the extreme stress that builds up from chronic confusion, disorientation and paranoia. New truths can then reveal themselves through newfound clarity, a much, much better feeling.
I believe this is where social transformation will occur, with this particular healing. The issue is rampant. Brilliant work, kudos!
“they need permission”
I don’t think previous generations actually dealt “better” with issues, they created scapegoats and scapegoating systems, like psychiatry. That’s how we’re in the mess we’re in today. Scapegoaters need to stop scapegoating and scapegoats need to stand up for themselves and take back their power. We can all improve a bit, however we are tipped on that particular scale. In a dysfunctional system, everyone is playing a role, and everyone has the power to stop playing it. That’ll break it up but good.
“why people wrongly think they’re helpless, and why parents believe their kids can’t learn.”
To feel helpless is to feel powerless, and this is not only excruciating stress, it is what is most vulnerable making. Of course we can learn, that is a big part of being human and it’s why we’re in this life! The ability to learn is innately and naturally empowering, then we are not helpless.
Were children to be born into a safe, loving, nurturing environment which understood the individual nature of our beings and creative expression, then their natural power would be honored rather than disrupted and denied, and that would be an exciting life unfolding.
Seems to be less and less the case, most unfortunately. I believe that this is the damage which needs to be undone. We’ve grown up with a lot of false beliefs–about ourselves, especially–which are beginning to unravel. That is change in the making, from within.
If one considers that “stigma” is the by-product of fear of differences within humanity and the act of social shaming based on these differences (bigotry), and that these, in turn, inevitably cause flash rage and violence within that very same humanity, then perhaps the commitment to “a deeper sense of compassionate understanding among human beings for the purpose of peace in the world” would be an appropriate, and hopefully more fruitful, “campaign”–for anyone at all. Personally, I consider it a lifestyle worthy of pursuit.
Thanks, KS. I wonder how these work for people? I see there’s one in my own town, perhaps I can stop by and check it out, I’d be curious to know.
Personally, I prefer my privacy on a day to day basis, but we’ve opened our doors plenty of times to offer food and support, even to make music with others. Just this morning I delivered a batch of mint chocolate chip cookies to my favorite shopkeepers, which I also shared with my next door neighbor yesterday over coffee. We live in a neighborly town!
Moving to a small rural town surrounded by nature and offering plenty of alternative living along with families and retirees, was more healing to, both, my partner and me, than I can say after leaving San Francisco, where neighbors would barely look each other in the eye passing each other on the sidewalk, much less offer good cheer spontaneously. Urban living has simply become unhealthful, imo.
I’d like to see it occur organically, giving and receving love, just because it feels good. And may it spread like an ocean of light into a new healing version of planet Earth…
Absolutely, Steve, it has to be created for it to even exist. So consider what I say as a vision, from which all things created begin, which I’m certain I share with others, at least many people whom I know. It’s not an original idea in the slightest, but even with all the chatter about it over the generations, it has mysteriously (well, sort of, and less and less so as time goes by, just hard to know what to do about it) remained elusive, and it has become a chronic frustration for people, I have noticed, to the point of tragedy.
I believe it would start in the home, our first community. Eventually, we do have to individuate, but we have to be aware of what we’ve internalized from that first community which is not in alignment with our true nature. We each have one and it is not duplicated, we are unique in that sense, purely.
But these days, that’s a lot of sorting and sifting and soul searching, can be confusing for a while until new clarity is reached. That’s a journey to take, evolving self-awareness. For most of us, this seems to have been the case, that our natural experssion is stifled early on because it is not aligned with some unacknowledged yet practiced expectation to serve the community at one’s sacrifice, or it is invalidated. That’s a terrible double bind, and I believe it’s an abusive expectation. Doesn’t have to be, in an inclusively supportive system, but it has been.
Adults in families more often control their children rather than respect their individuality from the get-go, if it is too far away from the “family norm,” and an innocent baby behaving according to its nature (and often in unconscious protest to evnironmental stress) can be blamed for upsetting the balance in the family, that is not uncommon. That’s where the problem begins, it’s oppressive right away. Psychiatry only follows suit and takes that example. They all came from families, too, or at least what can be called “first environment.” We all did, and that is something from which to individuate, which in no way means to abandon, it means to distinguish oneself from the community at large, which is vital if one wants to live freely creative and find the role which suits them best.
To me, that would translate to personal fulfillment, at no one’s expense because everyone would be free to follow their path to fulfillment without fearing sabotage from others, no cut-throat competition which most often overshadows a sense of humanity and moral compass. That’s where it gets incredibly messy, but that’s what it is right now.
As long as it’s a peace-loving, fair-minded, just, safe, grounded, ever-evolving and functional community, equally respectful of all of its individual members, where no one is deprived of their freedom of expression and creativity, then sure, that sounds great. I imagine it would be very healing to anyone looking for it. Do you know of any?
Truth all over the place here, thank you Rebel. We are, indeed, self-sovereign, by nature. We’ve been lied to, manipulated, and frightened out of this–in essence, out of our natural power and freedom, along with our innate sense of abundance and belongingness.
Getting back to our authentic natural selves (that is a process of healing and waking up to a few things, new truths) is to be in harmony with ourselves. Then we can shine our light for others in support, encouragement, whatever, if we can feel our own light, that sense of freedom which deep down inside is there, allowing that natural interdependence to occur, based on how we have the natural capacity to operate from compassion if we allow ourselves to, starting with self and extending out to others. This would be natural, and would be for our own well being and for that of others–win/win individual and collective, everyone growing and evolving together, from their own perspectives and realities.
I’d call that a functional society, and safe because it is based on integrity. When not, it should be called out immediately to avoid enabling. It’s everyone’s responsibility to stop abuse in its tracks, espeically if it is coming directly at us, and that is very tricky in a toxic/abusive/dysfunctional family/social/professional system. We live and learn about this, I don’t know any other way. It is a courageous path, I’ll say that. Thank you, Megan, for the light you are constantly shining on this issue.
Tons of great quotes here, Rebel, I especially like this one–
“each one of us must realize the only way to be successful as one body is when each part of the body sees how valuable it individual effort and contribution is. To deny the individualism of each human being on earth and try to make a collective is just wrong, just plain wrong.”
I’d certainly call it self-defeating, happens all the time! If we try too hard to control others by demeaning them, shaming, scaring, lying to others–aka gaslighting, the usual tricks–to throw them off kilter and deny their personal truth, it eventually comes back in a humbling way. Respect for others should come back in a mutually respectful way. If not, I say get out, and don’t look back.
Fascinating interview, thank you.
“philosophising may well itself lead to madness, in its highbrow intellectual academic form, as well as in all other forms that are expressed in socially less acceptable and clumsy ways.”
Such a powerful statement! “Socially less acceptable and clumsy” is the bulk of humanity, which to me would would translate to real and authentic, our humanness, which allows us to walk the fine line of madness (which I would at this time define as a state of dormant creativity trying to break free and come to light) and wisdom with grace, one way or another, expressed uniquely through each of us.
“Highbrow intellectual academic” tends to leave people cold because it is in academic jargon and detached from the heart and practical nature of a most diverse humanity which inherently makes up the whole. Too many false projections occur here, blurring truth repeatedly via reflex stigma. I can understand how it can lead to endless loops of the same undesirable reality if one is pontificating a truth and not living by it.
I’d never use the word “defective” to describe the human brain or mind. It is what it is, but it is never fixed in one place. We can go in and out of clarity and our minds can shift focus for a different experience. That is reality as I understand it.
“once the workings of our mind — including our perceptions, thoughts and emotions — are seen as being “caused” by the neural networks which channel them, it’s a short leap to the conclusion that “bad” thoughts and feelings are the product of defective brains.”
Not necessarily. What we feel in our hearts also matters. In our guts, too. They all interconnect to create a wide variety of life experiences. We have choices on what to focus and how to interpret things, which can evolve over the years. Many things interact inside of us to create our personal reality and life experience.
I am not a brain scientist nor do I have proof of what I say outside of my own perspective from my experience of living and healing, but this exploration is so relevant I think, that I want to add my voice to it from what I’ve learned so far, been thinking about this very thing.
At this point, I’ve reached the conclusion that the mind actually creates the body, and the brain runs it (also part of the “body creation,” obviously, like a “manager”). I believe the mind creates everything, it is from where our vision begins, and pre-natal, it would be the mind of the mother which influences most, until a child becomes aware of their own vision, as their reality comes into clearer focus.
What fuels a vision is the power of the emotion behind it, and together these become a projected reality, not just a vision, but the feeling of that reality as well. That begins inside us, if we can visualize that which we desire and feel it, by imagining it with the mind. The brain can command the body to register these feelings through our nervous system, and that leads to feelings in the body, to be determined by how we feel about that which we are imagining, dreaming and visualizing–with the mind.
The mind is consciousness, of what we are aware, and that is expansive as we take in more life experience and the wisdom from it. The brain depends on what the mind takes in, neural pathways develop in response to the environment, and how the mind is perceiving it, simply as reflex. This is malleable, as environments change, so can neurons. We can also shift neurons by shifting how we perceive anything, literally “changing our minds,” that is, what information we are including in our assessment leading to a feeling response. When we desire change, we have the choice to change our environment or to shift our thinking about it, or both.
However, if the mind remains in the past, it will not perceive the update because the brain is still thinking in past time, the neural pathways have not shifted, causing dissonance. Alignment is bringing the body into present time, which means the mind has to perceive present time, which isn’t always the case, especially when we’re trying to work out trauma.
I think it’s most helpful to know the difference, and then we can make better choices in the moment. “Am I in past or present time with this thought?” is a question I ask myself in reflection. That guides me to the next step of awareness, and whether or not action is appropriate, based on that.
When we sleep, the brain continues to tell the body to breathe, we don’t have to do this consciously, it is natural survival instinct, programmed in our being, so to speak, the breath of life. Our minds can be quite active separate from our “normal” reality, these are our dreams. We can dream asleep or we can dream awake, have fantasies about anything we want, and this will affect our feelings in that moment, we can actually drive our emotions this way. That is the unlimited creative nature of our minds.
If our brains are not burdened with overcomplicated, stressful thinking (which would be habits from chronically high stress living, which I believe to be a universal condition on Earth right now), then the freedom of our naturally expansive minds will influence the body in an uplifting way, and it will feel good, or better than before at least, a bit more relaxed.
The problem now is that we constantly talk our way out of feeling uplifted. What the real mystery is to me is why good feelings, happiness, and positivity are constantly being judged, denied, invalidated, shamed, and ridiculed. I know that is a hot topic here and I somewhat get how this can happen, and why. So I guess the mystery is how to remedy this because honestly, I believe that this is, in reality, the endless loop which keeps suffering and oppression alive and well within humanity.
Changing our own minds in an expansive way and using them to generate relief from chronic stress rather than adding to it, would allow the brain to relax, which would make our bodies feel a whole lot better, just from allowing happiness to exist on the planet, in peace, and without judgment or negative speculation. I believe solutions would occur with more ease in thought, and less dissonance between mind and body, and I’m including “brain” with body; I see the mind as more than just “the body,” not separate from it, but greater than.
Who knows for sure, right? But that’s my vision, so far, from what I’ve learned in my healing process.
Letter perfect analysis, Willoweed, been exactly my experience as well, like clockwork.
“defeating psychiatry…will not happen as the result of good vibes”
In large part I think it would be helpful in a powerful way because a world society where “good vibes” (kindness, integrity, respectful compassion, etc.) outweigh the opposite of this– which would in essence be a world filled with the vibes of resentment and fear/terror, at best chronic confusion–would more than likely result in less and less business for psychiatry until it is absolutely no longer needed.
But that depends on whether or not the world transforms into a decent place to live, without oppression, suffering, and the risk of being shamed and blamed for things that are neither one’s fault nor in one’s control–the scapegoating phenomenon on which psychiatry relies and further perpetuates.
To my mind, where good vibes dominate would make for a more generally creative, fulfilling, and living free life experience because it feels a lot safer, and we are freer to be and create without feeling vulnerable to saboatage, gaslighting, being ridiculted and demeaned to the point of feeling voiceless and powerless, etc. (Why people hesitate speaking out, and why it’s called “courage”).
A lot of internalized suffering would disappear in a kinder, safer, more supportive world, so fewer and fewer people would be running to those who would be looking to exploit the vulnerability of others. Whether intentional or not, we know that the institution of psychiatry operates exactly like this, exploiting others for their own gain, without regard for truth, ethics, or the overwhleming evidence in the world, and documented all over the place, of their incompetence and misguided philosophy of humanity, leading to tragedy in many ways. That it not at all kind, nor is integrity present here, but we, as individuals, can do better, and that would improve things for the entire world.
This is exactly why and how I feel the mh industry has it all wrong–the drugs cut off connection to feelings and psychotherapy overthinks everything. Constant analyzing and thinking also distracts us from feeling in the moment, which is our truth in that moment.
Clarity is when our thoughts and feelings align in present time, and that is a practice, we go in and out of that state of being, that is human. No one is always aligned, there would be no contrast then from which to feel the necessary tension of life, to create forward. To notice and discern when we are in alignment vs. out of alignment is what has value to us, because from this awareness we can make wiser choices in the moment, aligned with our true intentions.
No way in hell this can happen with emotion-numbing drugs and constant rumination about the past. No clarity there, ever. Aligning thoughts with feelings in present time is where the power of manifesting lies.
True and authentic healing takes us there, into present time alignment, then we feel our freedom to move forward as we choose, intuitively, with new awareness to help guide forward. The rest in unknown, to be explored, discovered, and co-created. When we enter the field of the unknown without biases, in pure present time, that is the ultimate power of manifesting, from the heart, so it will reflect in our lives. That’s been my experience, at least.
Although I will admit that releasing biases from day to day and starting with a clean slate is not easy. We are, after all, human beings with the capacity to hold grudges and pass judgment, including infliciting it on ourselves. That tends to feel terrible, so it’s something to work on, I believe, to our individual and collective advantage. I’d call that “the unknown.”
“Trauma is not a mental illness; it is an emotional and physical reaction that can be healed.”
I’d say this is the elusive truth, although I’d condense it to “trauma is an emotional and physical reaction that can be healed.” Something about including the phrase “is not a mental illness” throws it off a bit and brings ambiguity to this statement, but the truth about healing from the effects of early childhood trauma is powerful in and of itself.
I think that’s true, Steve, that our judgments are what undermine any sense of peace, inside or out. We are human so judgments won’t always fall by the wayside, we do exist in a highly judgmental world. We can work to influence more compassion and less duality in the world, but right now, it is what it is.
And by the same token, we have ample opportunities daily to become aware of and own what our habitual judgments are and whether or not perhaps it’s time to update a belief and get a new perspective on things, exactly as you are exemplifying in your above post. That’s always an option which personally I, too, have found to be extermely beneficial in all ways, moves things right along from wherever we are at that moment, toward new expansion.
When we work though our own judgments to find compassion instead, then we have healed something significant which will ripple outward. It is a relief to drop a judgment, helps one and all, leads to new clarity. Ultimately, it is freeing.
Right now, I don’t consider anything we’d call “mainstream” to be terribly safe. We have to find our own innate sense of safety these day. There is so much anxiety in the collective at large, of course, which would be understandable at this time.
I consider psychiatry to be highly detrimental to society. However, I recognize that it is part of many peoples’ belief system, and that it creates dependence, as it once had with me. I had to get out from under a lot of rubble, look at my own dynamics, and shift my thinking quite a bit about myself in order to banish it from my own life. Biggest gift I ever gave myself, and I got better.
“we can’t allow such people to decide what is “helpful” for the people they truly don’t give a crap about!”
I had to come to that conclusion for myself and then I had to finally make the leap and choose a better healing path, which amounted to learning how to find my own answers instead of relying on others. This is when the internet was just firing up, not really a resource at that time, so this took a lot of hard knocks for me to get to this self-agency. I had no notion of this, and had not realized the extent to which I had surrendered this to people about whom I can very honestly and assuredly say did not know what they were doing, not one bit.
Eventually, after years of consulting one kind of counselor or another for guidance out of chronic anxiety, I learned to be my own counselor and guide at every turn, having learned to tune into and absolutely honor my own intution and impulses, which of course had been rendered dormant under psych drugs and multiple social programming influences (family, academia, “the system,” etc).
I might have helpful conversations along the way with insightful people, but at the end of the day, I am the one sorting through the information and making my own decisions, so at least if I make an error in judgment, it is my doing and I can’t blame anyone else. That makes it actually possible to correct.
I had all kinds of healers and teachers after leaving behind the mh world to help me straighten out all of that nonsense programming I had taken on, along with the post traumatic stress from it all, a lot of stuck negative energy, as we say in the healing world. That was such better and relevant information–the authentic healing work–and it got me moving forward in a new way, once and for all as my brain and other ograns were healing along with my spirit, learning to hear and trust my own inner voice over those of others, first and foremost.
But I can’t say they all cared too terribly much about me, although I felt seen and understood because these were smart and competent healers, they’d been through their journey and were paying forward from their experience, based on energy work and perspective, and knew how to teach tools and alignment. I moved on from that more whole and with a new paradigm in tow.
Took a few years to integrate all of this, and even longer to heal from the harm that psychiatry had done to me, as is all-too-common of course; which, more than healing, it actually is transformation because I had to adapt to new ways of doing things based on new information along all that awakening.
But that is coupled with an entirely new perspective, and together–new actions and new perspectives–these create a new life experience, new unfolding of reality, core change. So it would be the point of it all. Hard journey at first, but then it becomes interesting and then clarifying and relieving, and then amazing in all sorts of ways, and it gets easier, change is always happening. That’s how it worked for me.
I offer new perspectives and help people who are ready to make that transition to self-healer, that’s my contribution, to heal the program of having to depend on others, if that is what people are ready for. Some are not, which is natural, we’re all at different stages and have different needs at different times.
Either way, fighting others only brings it all back, can’t do that anymore. We have to find a space of inner peace in order for our self-healing to work, which would be supported by a harmonious and nourishing environment. Energy moves fluidly like this, which is how healing occurs naturally, through co-creation. This is the kind of stuff I learned over the years after I abandoned psychiatry, and all of the system in general.
Yep, also disqualifies their “expertise,” given that people are the experts only of their own experience. As you say, they’re tossing the most vital evidence of all! Which explains the mess of it all, I think. That particular piece of evidence is exactly where the ever elusive truth of the matter resides. And it’s many truths and voices of experience in the world, not just one.
How can psychiatry be “evidence based” when it blatantly ignores, dismisses, or contradicts people’s truth about themselves, as well as with their experience of psychiatry? There is an enourmous amount of very obvious evidence that psychiatry has done profound harm to countless people and continues to do so, yet it will continue to deny the evidence in order to continue business as usual, based on judgments and personal opinions rather than anything even remotely scientific.
Psychiatry is not at all evidence based, but rather it is *fear* based. Fear is what makes people vulnerable to being controlled.
You are truly a survivor and thriver! You were born into trauma and you have now overcome the cycles and are obviously healing by leaps and bounds while using your voice and life experience to help others whose voices are not being heard when they need to be. You are saving lives. Congratulations on your many accomplishments, so far!
Sounds to me like “consesus reality” is the problem. Trying to “fit in” is what leads to making oneself vulnerable to oppression, while not fitting in can be ostracizing. Fortunately, there are all kinds of different realities on Earth, depending on whom you ask.
Thank you for sharing your harrowing experience, my adrenaline was pumping just from reading it. I love your clarity and conviction, very inspiring!
I was struck by the title of your book, Strengthening Your Identity While the Shadow Is in Front of You. I think that’s a really clever and powerful way to heal, grow, and gain inner strength. We often don’t have much a choice!
We are born with knowing what feels good to us (like being fed) and what feels bad (when our needs as a pre-verbal infant are not met and we experience what can eventually be articulated as “deprivation”). So we have innate wisdom from birth to somehow communicate what we need. As an infant, whether or not what we need to survive and thrive comes to us as we ask for it, one way or another, depends entirely on the adults around us. And that is a crap shoot, big time.
Somewhere along the line, we are taught to ignore these feelings–these natural responses in our bodies called “emotions”–and go by some other criteria, a social expectation. If not, stigma is immediately projected as a knee jerk response, I’d call it a “program,”–which is based on systemic abuse because that is based expressly on a person *not* meeting those social expecations, and everyone in an abusive and oppressive system will agree on that and try to somehow punish or ostracize that person. A lot of lies are perpetuated at this point, a web of deceipt. So it’s either you join up, or you suck and we will let you know it and make sure you feel it.
That is pure double-binding, strong-arming oppression, and will always be false. Not being a joiner in order to stand in one’s truth is a good thing and that is humbling courage, not at all an easy feat but it is based on truth, nothing else, no mal intent. It is based on one’s true values, from the heart.
To be belittled or maligned for it, as is what occurs in abusive systems–and which is exactly what makes it so–is to deprive a person of their individuality and personal truth, which I consider to be insidious, powerful, and potentially far-reaching abuse, and it is rampant in our society right now. It hurts everyone because valuable resources within humanity remain dormant, whereas right now we need as much creative thinking, as well as individual talent and skills, as possible.
We seriously need to at least tolerate differences within humanity–all kinds of differences–until we can actually embrace them. Right now, differences seem to cause more fear than anything, and that is what makes me feel very sad, that people fear each other to this degree. That’s a recipe for violence, unfortunately, if we fear enough.
Healing from family dysfunction/abuse in addition to abuse from a closed and hostile system is so complex and humbling, as well as clarifying. It changes one’s vision, self-perception, and how we experience ourselves emotionally, so that we are not chronically stressing ourselves out, which is what leads to deterioration in health.
Healing from abuse shifts one’s entire life course and changes reality for the better, based on an individual’s expanded awareness along with a new set of beliefs and actions based on those new beliefs. This attracts new people, different kinds of personalities with whom we can harmonize and co-create fluidly, rather than repetition of what one is wanting to reject entirely, the old familiar. That is transformational change, from discord to harmony, and new things ripple from that, there is ease in the process, rather than perpetual conflict which will undermine the goal and create feelings of resentment.
I believe the only way to change a culture is to change ourselves (individuals make up the culture), and that is our true nature. It is an exercise in humility which leads to confidence and trust in ourselves, from where we find our power. I sincerely believe that change starts from within, and that we be the change we want to experience in the world. We teach and learn by example, not by shaming, guilting, bullying, or strong-arming, which is one or more kinds of abuse and never effective in bringing change because it is exactly this which we want to stop in its tracks. Forcing change is to perpetuate “force,” while the “change” is merely illusory. Therein lies the mass deceit of false promises, over and over again.
Resisting change is what leads to abusive situations because we are not allowing nature to take its course and are trying to control everything, which is impossible. Resistance to the natural flow of energy–nature–creates the experience of oppression, from which suffering is inevitable. End oppression by standing in our truth and self-regard, heal from abuse, and the world will thrive because individually we will be a bit kinder to ourselves and others from the empathy which develops out of healing. It’s a tall order and it will take a while, but it has to start somewhere, from the only place really where we have control–that is, within ourselves.
My pleasure, psmama, I’m so glad my words have been helpful to you. My journey is made meaningful by this, that would be the purpose of it, I’d say. So thank YOU, very humbly.
Hi psmama, I can certainly understand why your son thinks you are amazing, you truly are! Leaving an abusive marriage while drugged and pregnant is incredibly courageous, and then fighting this particular system for the well-being and safety of your unborn son–my utter respect to you. He is a very lucky young man.
Of course I had reactions all the way reading your story which make me heartsick and angry. You are describing all the ways in which this entire paradigm has seriously failed us all. From a sane perspective, it is truly insane. Congratulations for leaving it in the dust!
It IS impossible to be around mainstream thinking once we’ve been through this, and it’s irreconcilable when we know what we know. The good news at this point, I’d say, is that more and more of us are recognizing this, just at the time when anything mainstream is looking seriously suspect, society is in dismal shape and we are ripe for change. I don’t measure healing by necessarily being able to do what we could do before, at least not in the exact same way, but more so by how we can transform creatively, maybe get back some skills but also discover new ones, from a new consciousness that comes with all that healing.
As per one thing I’ve learned over the years, I call us “expansive beings,” in that we’re never done, we just keep going and growing. When we are open to it, we can gain clarity daily. More than “healing’ at this point, I’d call it straight on transformation, and from there we can move forward with more of a feeling of control, from this wider consciousness. New things come along, synchronicity happens, and we become aware of a shift which keeps us moving forward with encouragement. That feeling alone generates a feeling of light and the power to manifest. As does the love shared between you and your son ♥
Everything you say here I agree with, Rebel. I think this entire industry is bad news, and I think these psych drugs are products of an ill-conceived society and indeed they cause damage, part of my story, too. I am aware that many people rely on them, or feel they do, and whatever choices a person makes to alleviate their suffering is something I would never judge, nor would I tell a person they are “wrong” about their choice, if it is part of their path and somehow, someway, it makes them feel better in the moment.
Yes, these should come with full disclosure, at the very least, if not eventually phased out of existence. But people have to discover their own truth, one cannot impose their truth on another, that is purely a projection and I think it’s counterproductive to change, only creates resistance to it. I’ve certainly made mistakes in this regard, try to learn as I go. We are all products of brainwashing and propaganda, one of the things we’re trying to clear up altogether, I believe. This is what can get complicated, but there is a lot of truth which comes from cracking these codes and seeing past the illusions we’ve been fed. When belief systems get challenged, change is imminent.
Although if I am in dialogue with someone who feels they need healing and they do not want to go this route, I will let them know there are other options which support real and true healing, which the pills of course do nothing of the kind. We have a nature, and that’s what we need to get back to, is my belief about all of this. Personally, I think learning how self-healing applies is a good education in life. Self-healing is guided by our nature, individual choice, and self-sovereignty, and it’s free.
There are always new things to discover as we go along in life. I’d have never thought it possible to heal from any of this, neither from the drugs nor what took me to seek help in the first place, and 20 years ago I was scared to death that this was the case, based on what I was believing and being told at that time. The messages from the mh industry–top to bottom–were far more negative and discouraging than what actually turned out to be the truth, and the impact of this was severe, until I learned better.
Once I came off the pills, I began a trajectory of learning which I’d never even conceived before this, had never been part of my life or psychic landscape–and most assuredly not part of my family or cultural upbringing, nor early education–and for the most part I hadn’t before heard or experienced what I eventually stumbled upon in my desperation to heal, after falling way down the psychiatric rabbit hole in mid-life, and get on with my life.
Personally, I believe in all possibiilties, until we’re done. And of course, that *is* an individual thing, we all believe what we believe, based on our life experience so far. Keep going, is all I say. New things come along every day, if we are paying attention. That’s it.
Hi KS, thanks for the feedback. I remember we had this disucssion a while back, regarding healing and offering hope which may be false hope for some, and I took it to heart, don’t believe I’ve said this since in such a general way. I do maintain my personal philosophy on healing, but I’m not out to impose that where it feels like judgment. So, my apologies for that. I have a lot of respect for your perspective and I know that it is well-founded, it very often rings true to me.
Here, I am specifically speaking about the topic in this thread, the idea that the longer one takes psych drugs, the less likely that the brain damage caused by these can be repaired once they are off of them. This is a fear-causing statement which is not logical, simply not true, and it serves to dampen hope, which is what I feel is harmful. That is my objection here.
My comment is regarding the projection of fear with inaccurate, or at the very least, speculative and vague information. One should NEVER lose hope and I feel the need to at least make an attempt to unplant these seeds of false and damning beliefs. Out of respect for those us of who have taken this journey first hand, please do not perpetuate them. End of discussion for me.
Steve, that is simply false logic. At any time from which the toxin is removed, healing can begin. And perhaps a transformative healing, because there has been interference with nature and we might not know or be able to predict how that repair will take shape and look like on the other side, but full repair of damage done by these things is always an attainable possibility, and perhaps there may be other conditions or factors to consider individually.
However, length of time on these things, or how many, makes little or no difference in the intention of healing. The brain is very healable from this. I was on tons for a long time until it became clear I could no longer tolerate them, tapered off over a period of time and had the horrendous withdrawal, with no known precedent or informed resource. My brain was definitely damaged, couldn’t balance a checkbook suddenly, and I’d been a bookkeeper, math is easy for me.
That was 19 years ago, I’ve been as long off of them now as I’d been on them at that time, when I ditched them. It took a while and I did soooo much to heal naturally from different avenues and sources, and together all of it worked. I’m back to being a math whiz and creative channels have opened, mind is clear and relaxed for the most part unless I’m focusing on something. I’m sure I’m not an exception.
People need hope and inspiration for this not doom and gloom based on vague speculation, with all due respect. I know you want to see this all change, too, but as a psychiatric survivor who healed brain damage after 19 years of these brain toxins, the actual truth of the matter is way more encouraging than what you say here, and I felt strongly compelled to offer this rebuttal.
The malpractice and betrayal are, indeed, more far reaching. These are the issues which have yet to find resolution. And they are crimes, damaging to society on the whole, and they’re still at it. THAT’S the problem to solve.
I think we can help each other as we all self-heal together. We are all healing from generations of social inequities, elitism, and abuse and betrayal of at least one kind or another, and we are all healers by nature. Problem is we’ve been separated from our nature by fear propaganda, exactly what Someone Else says below.
When we are truly in compassion, our hearts are open and we can feel the energy of LOVE (as opposed to fear and judgment) because the heart knows we are all connected. I honestly believe that we are designed by nature to give and receive without even thinking about it, it’s intuitive, but when we are not aligned with our true nature (which is LOVE), then those giving and receiving channels get blocked energetically, causing fear and negative thought patterns, usually negative self-talk. In that moment, love is not being felt, only resistance to it, which is actually a lot of effort to resist love, because love is natural and powerful. Takes work to dam that up and keep it from flowing, and that is what ultimately drains us of energy and doesn’t allow well-being, our own resistance to love. It’s really much easier to allow love, since it is our nature, and then healing can occur with relative ease, step by step and layer by layer. The difference between feeling love and not feeling it is the same difference as the light being on and the light being off.
Healing would be for the sake of unblocking those channels so the energy of giving/receiving flows naturally, allowing us to feel light in our bodies. When that happens, it is an incredible feeling of flow, like a robust river of uplifting emotion, what to me feels like LOVE, and it affects everything. That is the healing energy, no blocks, pure flow, like nature.
In the spiritual community, this is what is referred to as “aligned with one’s nature,” and is considered a healthy state of being because it feels good, supports our goals and desires, and we can shine our light for others as well, expanding the light. It’s also a state of empowerment. It is in our nature to be aligned with ourselves in a way that we are giving and receiving love without effort, simply from the reflex of gratitude. Then the world will be filled with more light for everyone to benefit.
Yes, I agree, this is a crossing point in human evolution, where light meets resistance to light, is how I’d put it. And it can be a rough battle to get to the other side of that, the resistance can, indeed, be relentless and boundariless. And yes, it can be draining and dangerous and certainly it is not healthful for anyone concerned. We all have our paths and free will and evolve however we’re intended to, of course. Still, obviously collective consciousness needs to keep raising, which I believe is happening. Sometimes, it doesn’t seem fast enough, but I think we’re on track one way or another, keeping the faith.
To this, I’d just say that indeed I believe it starts with family and eariliest environments. As the article says, love goes missing. That is a HUGE problem and oh how it bleeds into society, creating social systems which fail, and which fail everyone on Earth, other than those prospering from the suffering of others. Outside of our own healing, which we do individually, where to begin?
I also completely agree with you, l_e_cox, word for word, especially this, so on point and exactly where a struggle seems to come in when striving for systemic change or even toward a new way of life based on integrity, self-sovereignty, and true compassion–
“If we can understand that societal systems are composed of individuals, and that through the action of individuals systems can be changed (such as the outlawing of slavery), this gives us a path to change that starts with individuals and goes towards new agreements about what is acceptable and valuable in a society.”
Yes, this would reverse the “scapegoat” identity to one of community leader, by example. The change would have to be internal, first, to release the impact from having carried that identity from the experience of one’s life, starting with family dysfunction leading to creating this situation for purposes of control, that story with which we’ve become all-too-familiar.
“Scapegoats” are somehow cleverly and systematically robbed of their credibillity (stigma rears it’s ugly head yet again). Why? Because they know and are willing to speak a very challenging truth which threatens the very core of an abusive and corrupt system, “the truth that dares not be spoken” in such a system. And I’d say it’s of great value, if we are seeking radical change, to suddenly hear this voice ring true, to get past the false illusions created by the system in order to keep the truth at bay because it would kill the system. Well, that’s the goal!
I do understand that and it’s a critical issue. Cannot one individual begin a trend of abandoning the system successfully and finding freedom, and others take the example? It would be different considerations of course based on who we are as individuals but the collective message and intention would be the same, that’s the connector–to say an adamant and firm “no thanks” to the system once and for all, whether social, professional, or political, and break free of it to live with one’s individual set of values and desires in life, to really trust that path and letting it be one’s true guidance through life and personal evolution while respecting others doing the same, rather than to live always by trying to conform to what others want and expect, and also not putting that expectation on others. These are hard internalized habits to break, we learn them from the time we are born practically, but we certainly have the capacity to break habits when we want to and put our minds to it.
More often than not, life moves us around without our trying, so when we work on ourselves, we affect the collective one way or another, always. We may not see how in the moment, but how could we not? The connection is there whether we’re conscious of it or not.
Most often we conform and expect others to conform on an unconscious level in order to avoid the pain, thanks to stigma and the multiple road blocks this creates for people, of going against the grain and being different. Takes courage, trust, AND self-love, because others will try to shame or guilt you, or cause you fear, for “abandonding” their corrupt bullying marginalizing dysfuncational system (and there are ways to not take this on, with consciousness), but it’s a start, and change has to start somewhere, based on one individual’s vision, positive self-beliefs, and follow through.
Accomodating a toxic system in any way may bring the illusion of momentary safety but it will never bring change, only more of the same. Not accomodating it will piss off a lot of people in that system, perhaps all of them. If that’s the case, then the system is rattled and there is great potential for positive systemic change, if people can muster up the courage to buck the system, one by one, and trust that they will be ok. It HAS to be individual choice, this cannot be coerced. That’s the hard part, for many reasons, but that’s why they call it “courage,” trusting the unknown, outside of one’s familiar (“the system”).
Lots of great personal growth potential here, outside the oppressive and double-binding system to which we’re unfortunately accustomed. Pretty much unlimited, I’d say. But we have to get there. I do believe the energy of LOVE has everything to do with this, but even that word has become corrupt to some degree. It’s a puzzle. To me, the energy of love offers unlimited potential because it is not based on fear, which is what limits us. Toxic systems will inflict fear in order to control people.
Overall, though, I’d say that we simply cannot make people be who we want them to be, that’s expecting conformity from others and if it goes against their nature, this will be problematic in all kinds of ways. But we can become the people whom we most desire to become (which is usually who we want others to be for us), if we believe in ourselves and trust the process of our own individual evolution. Then we have a free system or we are systems free, or however you want to put it. Change IS breaking up the old system, inherently, because our beliefs are being challenged daily now. New beliefs brings new perspectives which inspire different choices and actions, all of which foster a new society, aka “reality.”
“We shouldn’t be so surprised at the enormous levels of “mental illness” at large in society; we need only consider how bad we collectively are at love, how poor we are lending sympathy, at listening, at offering reassurance, at feeling compassion, and at forgiving—and, conversely, how good we are at hating, shaming, and neglecting. We consider ourselves civilised but display levels of love that would shock a den of thieves.”
Sad, frightening, and true. We do it to ourselves, too, which is especially effective because it is our internalized-from-childhood voice of self-hatred and self-shaming. We could all make a bit of a conscious effort to love ourselves more and simply not be so hard on ourselves and others for whatever reason, and then I think it would be a more natural reflex to have compassion for, patience with, and understanding of others. IF we can be that way with ourselves, first.
Great truth and wisdom, thank you for the reminder that we ARE Spirit with physical sensitibilities, the energy is seamless. Always looking to refine my awareness around this and put it into practice, what I call grounding the light. What I am aware of is that the expansion is unlimited, which is awesome. Harmony is, indeed, a pleasure! 🙂
l_e_cox, your comments regarding Spirit are always inspiring and truthful to me, I like how you present your perspective on this and so much of it speaks to me.
For me, here in this realm of music and healing, on the most basic simiplified level it amounts to this for me–music moves Spirit through our bodies without disruption, it is a seamless flow of what many of us would call “divine energy,” from the spirit of that word. It is indescribable, as Amy says, but a lot of people do know this feeling, it’s why people do whatever they do, to catch that buzz, to enjoy profoundly what they are doing, whatever it is. Some things lend themselves better to this, I think, but for everyone it will be different. Musicians will all tell you how performing makes them high, how could it not? I was indimidated doing this, but at the same time, I called performing “an addiction,” in a good way of course, it’s a natural high. There is no thought, judgment or analysis, that would disrupt the flow of divine spirit energy (music) running through the body. Sounds so cold and technical to describe, but the feeling is the most powerful feeling. You’ll lose the audience if you start thinking about what you’re doing instead of just doing it, trusting that level of vulnerability to Spirit.
I could be wracked with life issues which left me sleepless at night and walking around with chronic anxiety and all this negative thinking and self-talk, but when it came to allowing Spirit to move through me in order to perform because I had made a commitment or, at one time, it was a job that paid me, I could, somehow, pull it off, trusting Spirit. I was over 40, never had done anything like this, had been incredibly ill from the psych drugs and withdrawal, plus negative voices galore, and an option presented itself out of the blue thanks to some volunteering I was doing, and the universe took it from there, I just showed up, trusting Spirit.
Afterwards, I’d feel better than I’d ever felt, the buzz of it all, but I’d also collapse because it took all the faith, trust and focus I had to overpower all the crap which was going on with me and even just in my own energy from it all. It really is “letting go and letting God.” That kind of trust is what allowed me to overcome whatever life issues came my way, and it was only healing for me in every way, including changing my life when I thought at one point I was kinda doomed, that’s what I felt and the messages from which I had to run and then heal from the experinece of all that stigma and negative projection via label, etc. I was just done with it.
That is way far behind me now, don’t even recognize that person. When Spirit and body intersect with no disruption, it’s a space of transformation. After that, it’s good human maintenance, that’s how I’d put it. Like bathing, eating, etc.
The point of my personal story is clear and direct, and aligned with the entire purpose of my being here–psych drugs separated me from my spirit (they were de-spiriting), as do many things in life, like being personally analyzed to death for years and years. I could work at a supermarket and even be a manager while on these things, I did that for 17 years, but I’d never have even thought of singing, dancing, and acting on stage, and definitely not for pay! That was post psych drugs, an entirely covered up me, had no clue of this, although I always enjoyed theater and music a great deal. But I never dreamed of being on the stage. I had other dreams.
When I stopped the drugs, even though I was sick with anxiety and from a bit of brain damage as I sought my healing from it all, moving music through me made all the difference, and I could do it in any state of being, which during one show I was in deep crisis, determined not to go back on the drugs, and I did not, I stayed in the show even though at one point I thought I was going to quit, which did not sit well with the director and she talked me into staying, did well in it, my entire run was flawless (total friggin miracle) and eventually recovered my nerves, feeling really accomplished but exhausted, from which I recovered with rest, assimilated the experience, and moved on.
This was more important than anything to me because I was healing from so much, including financial devastation. I said yes to the first part offered to me by a director with whom I was taking a class, because it paid. I was not seeking this so had there not been a paycheck involved when I really needed it, I would not have done it at all, I’d have let the fear and doubt of actually memorizing a script (would my brain co-operate? was a huge question for me) and then facing utter stage fright on top of that, was not appealing to me. Plus I did not want to drag down the cast, I was afraid of this. Instead, they uplifted me and supported me, knew I was scared to death and why I was doing this, they respected me for it. It was just 4 of us, and a kids show, it was light and playful, there was no competition, plus they were awesome actors and I respected them to learn from them, I could not have been more humble and grateful to them.
They supported me more than I can say, and it worked on all fronts personal and professional. We did a revival the following year, came full circle, and that was such a blast because it was the familiar and by then I’d done 2 huge shows and was kind of becoming established a bit, so much to my surprise and shock. Spirit can take us beyond what we can imagine, if we can trust it. New creation from this, my life is an example. Music is the hugest part of my life now, currently writing a musical with a couple of friends.
It is amazing what we can accomplish when we allow Spirit to move through us. It is why I made it a point to give this series a huge thumbs up. I do this kind of work, creating through healing, transformation of energy, spirit to body truth, etc., that’s my schtick, not thought about highly around here, I know. But it’s what I do and where my life path has led me during these unprecedented times.
I don’t comment much any longer on here and most of what I read is too familiar by now, but this very beautiful series got my attention enough to want to bring my voice to it. I obviously have a lot to say about music and healing and overall well-being from my experience going from psych patient to psych survivor, and then some, as personal evolution sprung directly from this. Amy, I hope you are ok with my having taken this opportunity, I was really inspired and felt validated, myself. I want to keep it relevant to your very meaningful work, and also to the bigger picture of healing from the psychiatric world in the most powerful way. Music was precisely the bridge to my new self.
l_e_cox, thank you for what you expressed because it is exactly my point and I think it’s relevant to the day and completely on point.
Oh yes, I totally resonate with this, which is how I associate it with healing, because it does foster that deep connection, it’s a greater reality which is beyond thought, has to be felt, an energy passing through the body immediately before it manifests into music, nothing in between. It’s mystical, I think, in that realm.
It can be witnessed, too, and experienced from that perspective. I get hooked watching performers who are in it. Mahalia Jackson is a perfect example. She WAS the music when she performed, seamlessly. Beyond joy or sorrow, even, it’s grace to my mind, from the soul, and it opens the heart with that feeling.
I’m no biologist but I would imagine that when we are channeling music through our bodies by playing an instrument or singing and, as you say, there is no thought at all, just purely focused spirit to body connection without thought disruption, our cells are harmonizing as we feel the music passing through us to the instrument. Who needs thinking when we are in perfect harmony with ourselves? That is an awesome state of being, and it can be practiced, as we do. At that point, we’re simply creative beings. I feel as you do, that without this, life feels incomplete. Personally, I cannot feel whole without knowing this feeling. I discovered this in the second half of my life and it has driven it since.
Light is vital in our lives, and I’d call music a language of light, soul nourishment. God, do we need this now more than ever! All extremely inspiring and totally relevant, I believe, thank you again Amy! Blessings to you.
I’ve enjoyed this series very much, thank you Amy. This piece is particularly epic, delightful and rich.
Music had everything to do with my healing. As I recovered from withdrawal from polypharm and also fighting a legal battle in the system, I started a singing/performance class in which I began to face all my anxieties on a body level, learned so much about myself and grew spiritually more than I ever knew possible. This eventually led me into musical theater which I did for years as I healed. I didn’t know I had it in me, and only when I ditched psych drugs and walked away completely from all that (mh system) was I able to fluorish this way and channel such creativity. I finally felt free in all ways.
That was a while ago and now I play the piano just about every day. Nothing puts me in my light more directly, into “the zone,” and I can play for hours, channeling one song after another. Music is profoundly healing, uplifting, and reaches out in all directions into humanity. It’s really wonderful to see this inpsiring work in the world at this time! We do need it.
Getting out of abusive situations is incredibly complex and takes a great deal of fortitude, trust, tenacity, a bit of cleverness, and very hopefully, empathic support to help in the transition. We don’t want to repeat it, so there is healing to do. That’s a process subject to a person’s individual nature, to be discovered along the healing.
Abuse has been generational and social, and the entire world is reeling at this time. We’re all affected by it and I believe each of us has some kind of responsibility in it, however we choose to take that on. I wouldn’t judge any of it. I’m just hoping that sooner than later we can start do better than what is currently failing from profound divisiveness, which is society on the whole, unfortunately.
To me, this is at the heart of things right now. I thought that paragraph said it perfectly and simply, to the point, and yet, in reality, it can be murky and seriously rugged and even potentially dangerous, because of what you say. It becomes an abuser-turned-victim situation, victim becomes abuser, sides are taken, lies are perpetuated, heart and truth are lost in the shuffle, chaos ensues, and on and on, back and forth. Nothing to gain from this and that “system” will utlimately destroy itself, so I totally agree, divorce is a wise option, to heal and create positive life changes.
Yet, I think it’s the norm right now, and it’s playing out in the world visibly. I think that, as a society, it is what we need to evolve out of, to a new normal, NOT based on all this. What would that look like, a fair and just well-balanced system/community/world filled with people who know how to respectfully support one another, despite personal beliefs, so that we don’t have to rely on corrupt systems of mind control?
I think it’s best to know our own truth and live by it, and these are changing times, so I’d say that living our truth from moment to moment is a practice which requires flexibility at this point. There are many competing realities at play right now. Who knows what truth is for someone else? We can only know this for ourselves.
“You have a right to be treated well by the people in your life and a right to stand up for yourself if that’s not happening; you don’t have a right to be abusive simply because you’ve experienced abuse.”
Making it a point to “figure out other people” is most often at the expense of one’s own self-awareness.
At the time of my training, which was over 20 years ago, I was buying into this stuff hook, line, and sinker before going through my own experience and discovering it as a huge fail to humanity. It was a rough awakening because of the dual role I was playing. I was suddenly questioning everything I thought I knew and finding my way through these paradoxes to clarity took many years of learning a variety of different perspectives of healing and personal growth, spiritual issues and evolving consciousness, how energy works, etc., and applying these to my own life situation and experience to make shifts in consciousness I needed to make in order to once and for all heal and get back to creating my life with a sense of ownership and self-agency, and being in the flow of it freely, as I desire to be.
But looking back, my graduate psych program may as well have been “Stigma 101, Advanced Stigmatizing, How to Scapegoat Others” (as in, “othering”), etc. That was about the extent of it, to what it always boils down. I discovered first from the education, and then from my personal experience on the receiving end, that this is exactly what this entire field is based on, inherently creating this social division more and more by “assigning” (projecting) labels, false traits, powerlessness, whatever, onto clients. Lots of ways to create a scapegoating dynamic, and this is a perfect set up for it. It is the nature of the beast, it cannot be helped. The self-protecting denial factor is over the top, as this article perfectly illustrates.
This article projects all the stigma and myths associated with dsm diagnoses, only perpetuating the negative projections and media stereotypes which begin as programming in psych education and training (as per the content of this article).
Thanks for the amendment, Diana, and yes, I agree that embodying the soul would be to live our spirit truth. These are feelings that drive us as guidance along our own path of evolution, rather than as emotional reaction to others filtered through our ego. I think it’s how we interpret our emotional responses that distinguishes between ego-driven vs. soul-inspired. This is how I’ve worked with it, in any event.
As an empath, I had to learn all about energy fields and psychic boundaries in order to distinguish my energy from that of others. Chakra training helped me more than anything. When I learned who I was as energy, I learned how to embody my true nature freely. We’re all unique and different, which is how life is interesting and creative.
Feeling in despair from powerlessness, family scapegoating, relenteless systemic bullying, all kinds of reasons people would want to give up on life. These things do mess with the mind and it is heartbreaking. Perhaps a bit more kindness, along with the ability to hear and listen with compassion when someone is suffering, would go a long way in helping people to not feel so hopeless and alone during hard times. Common sense if one is attuned to human nature, no research needed.
I support your perspective wholeheartedly, exactly my experience, word for word. I spent 19 years living with diagnoses and psych drugs, and it’s been that same amount of time now, 19 years, with no drugs, away from diagnoses or anything of the kind, that is totally irrelevant at this point, and having nothing to do with “mental health” anything, other than to support radical change. I had a string of teachers for a while to help me heal from all that on a mind/body/spirit level while learning self-healing and all kinds of new perspectives, but I’m on my own now, having integrated and applied what I’ve been learning, with wonderful (indeed, miraculous) results, living by my own truth exclusively, my life, my space, my rules, my intuition, and creative freedom which I can own despite anything.
For me it’s a totally new paradigm of living from 19 years of systematic healing and personal growth work, a new lifestyle now. Doing exactly what you say, practicing soul awareness and feeilng my own inner radiance, which I call, collectively, our light, spiritual voice, inner guidance, etc. Our soul is our guide, healer, teacher, and best friend. When we know our soul, there is no need to depend on others, that would be only by choice, not need. It’s how I took my power back.
Your work is so authentic, and when I read your blogs I see you as creating your healing. I think that’s what we do, in the end, we create our own healing path, and that is based on who we are. It’s so personal and we’re all so unique, I see it as our signature in life, how we choose to create our paths forward.
Mainly, I just wanted to echo what you say as reality. At least, it has been mine! We’re all just coming to understand what these things mean in the most practical way (soul growth, inner light, consciously creating) but I see it coming more and more into collective awareness, because we need this information now.
I very much appreciate what you share, it is fresh and creative and filled with potential for new things, it is fertile new ground. I think we need more and more of this perspective, fully in the light. Finally, new avenues to explore, which means new thoughts, new visions, and new manifestations. We’ve only just begun, but it is the change I’ve envisioned for a while now, and which I practice in my own life. Thank you.
I disagree, I believe that, once awakened to the fact that this is all bullshit, there is something from which to recover (some pretty serious betrayal, for starters) and I also believe one can recover from it, it is entirely possible. This is a trauma, and it can heal. This kind of healing is transformational, creates change from within.
Identifying with a BS illness for too long creates something to the effect of it, simply from how we’re moving around in our skin with that belief, it drives us. And it creates relationships with others and our entire world based on this, so it accomodates this false reality. Undoing this challenges those around us, inevitably. Everyone’s world is rocked as we go through shifts in consciousness to change our reality and relationship to ourselves, for the better, based on a new self-validating truth, clearer boundaries, etc. I don’t think there’s any way around that, great personal growth here.
Disidentifying is a start, but there is a lot of work to do, especially if we lived with this for too long, it internalizes. This is not an easy healing, challenges our beliefs. But I do believe it’s the path to well-being and feeling good about ourselves, taking back our power and allowing our true selves to shine through, after going through all of this totally marginalizing and dehumanizing stay-in-the-box bullshit, just like healing from any trauma is possible with focused intention. It’s how we free ourselves.
I’m reiterating what I feel is the most powerful message here, to drive change from within, because I agree with Ekaterina, it comes down to what we believe about ourselves, this is what creates our life experience more than anything–
“The main thing is to believe, to believe that you do deserve a good life, and that you can be happy.”
“But there is no illness, and there is no chronic illness as proposed by psychiatry. It is bullshit.
One can recover from THEIR illness, and one can lead a happy and meaningful life. The main thing is to believe, to believe that you do deserve a good life, and that you can be happy.
Step out of the system, take control of your own life and your beautiful soul, and step instead into your own radiant space.”
Well said, absolute truth.
The entire world is stressed out right now, and for good reason, there is context for this as a collective. Everyone is going to handle it their own way. The old paradigm of obviously failed systems is on the chopping block, so this is the best time ever for new ways to emerge, along with new clarity.
Very well said and clear truth. I’ve worked with two peer agencies and this is exactly what happens. Double standards, blatant discrimination, and the usual fare of gaslighting and double-speak to avoid any challenges to their hierarchical corporate system. Because they can get away with it, because it is the norm.
Addressing this effectively requires breaking a deeply stubborn and self-protecting toxic system where truth-speaking against the grain is seriously frowned upon and gets one ostracized, regardless of one’s role and position. But it does bring brave hard truth one way or another, and that’s always a good thing, once the dust clears. I’ve been there, and it’s always a blessing in disguise, and I know some kind of change has occured as a result of taking that necessary leap of faith.
“turning so many into the embodiment of caricatures we label them with.”
Perceived as “caricature?” This would explain why people feel dehumanized, dispirited, and chronically wounded in this industry. That would cut very deeply in anyone at all.
This article casts a heavy dense cloud of stigma over the LGBT community. No truth, no light, not helpful. Please reconsider.
Yes, it’s one of the social abuses to which I refer which is prevalent in the mainstream, financial bullying, which is not a nice energy, lacks consciousness. If I pray for anything these days, it is for kindness to find its way back into our collective humanity as a dominant force. Seems to be largely in remission at present.
Thank you for this very beautiful and heartelft offering, Caroline. I feel the grace of your heart from your writing. It is truly inspirational and very moving.
I’m with you 100%. Being in service is fulfilling in and of itself. To feel spiritual abundance in our hearts, grounded to the Earth, and supporting the uplifting of humanity–especially in these uniquely trying times which affect us all–brings us all we need and want, if we trust the flow of the universe to support us as we go. That is a powerful shift in focus, and in our self-identity, based on our own personal experiences of moving through suffering and toward our true spirit nature, for relief and more toward discovering our wholeness as divine beings having a human experience.
That was my experience with healing, in any event, the perspective which saved me by putting me in control of my own life journey, taking my power back from where I had given it unwittingly, putting it trustingly into the hands of oppressors and the corruption they practiced and supported, whether they were conscious of it or not. That was the program, what we were raised to believe. Live and learn, eh? Often the hard way, but at least there is a path beyond all of that, thank God! We still deal with all kinds of challenges in life, of course, but when we are in our light, this is our guidance forward, toward our true power of personal life creation.
For this reason, I appreciate getting on in years and leaving behind my ignorance about the world, which looking back, I can feel the vulnerablity of this, to underestimate the destructive nature and power of social bullying and abuse, and how it wreaks havoc on people in so many ways, not to mention society on the whole.
If we learn as we go and keep waking up to our spiritual truth, I find that life actually gets easier and invigorating rather than more and more burdensome and exhausting, because we can better maintain our well-being as we go if we know our spirit and clear hearts, moving away from fear and abuse and more toward compassion and faith, which I believe are matters of living with positive self-regard and having clear and self-loving boundaries–despite protests from the outside, which is oppressive.
Expanding our consciousness beyond the physical world to know our spirit truth in conjuction to our human desires is, to me, THE healing because that is how we align with our truth, walk our talk, and create a positive momentum in our lives, from a completely different perspective than that to which we’re accustomed–as you say, all about money, conforming, “winning,” etc. That has been our downfall, I believe, by creating a cut-throat competetive and conflit-oriented society, which drains us all eventually and bears no fruit whatsoever. We fear not having money (not just because of surival issues but also due to stigma and marginalization), and so we can easily sacrifice our highest values in order to acquire it, coming from that level of fear/terror.
Having the integrity to live in our spiritual truth will go against the grain in a corrupt society, so indeed our power and strength is to go by our own very personal inner guidance by honoring our emotions, how we feel from moment to moment, rather by the judgments outside of us for not honoring social norms, or whatever others go by. We are unique in how we live our lives, and so when we dare to be different, we embody the change and actually become it. I have found this path to be heart expansive, which has made all the difference in what I’ve created around me. The conneciton is mystical and profound, and very evident to me now. I think it’s pretty awesome, kind of magical. Life is more intertesting and creative for me now that I have found my spiritual voice in addition to my heart’s truth, and how they intersect.
It takes a lot of courage and faith to evolve and grow past social conventions in order to live in our authentic truth from moment to moment, and to share your evolution along the way for greater understanding within the collective. Hats off to you, and big blessings along the way of your inspiring journey.
“My instinctive answer is that the path follows me when I am in my heart driven self.”
I love this response, Sinead, it’s right on I believe. When we are in our heart, we are in our true guidance. The heart is what heals.
And indeed, forgiveness is a practice. We have to exercise that “muscle.” Forgiveness was the cornerstone of my healing. Dropping resentment freed up my energy so I could create forward without repeating the past.
I really enjoyed reading this, how you are following the light toward healing. To forgive betrayal is a huge shift in consciousness, and it takes strength, humility, and complete trust in our own process of personal growth and heart healing. That is core change, very powerful work. Thank you for sharing your experience of this!
Your courage and transparency are very inspiring. You are helping so many people by sharing your truth with such clarity. I was especially struck by this passage–
“At the first meeting with the psychiatrist, she reviewed the facts of my case—I was 65, lived alone, had lost a son, and my other son lived 900 miles away. Given these four simple facts, she decided that I was suffering from textbook geriatric depression. She never asked me any questions about my life that might have revealed alternatives. She never learned that I was not suffering from irritability, apathy, withdrawal, or changes in appetite, which are among the most common on the checklist of “geriatric depression” symptoms. Nor did she learn that I’d been working at a job I loved, was in a long-term romantic relationship, and was the organizer of a very active women’s group.”
This is why I say psychiatry is devoid of humanity, exactly this, which renders it not only useless but also incredibly dangerous. These clinical, academic minds are trained to categorize, project, and “other”–that is, to dehumanize. That is the learned habit from the training and education, it is EXPECTED. And, it is cold, like sub-zero. Heart and spirit and humility have nothing to do with this institution. That is a severe dissociation which is what leads to tragedy over and over again.
Thank you for sharing the story of your heart and journey of your spirit with the world, where your light can shine, and your wisdom will lead others. That is healing for all concerned, the evolution of humanity through expanded consciousness–true change from the inside. Continued blessings and good healing to you.
“Psychiatrists learn early on not to believe what a mental health patient would say”
I wish I’d known this a long time ago, would have saved my breath and an awful lot of trouble. I think they call this “casting pearls before swine.”
And how exactly is this helpful to a person who is suffering, to lose a battle before it even begins? And moreover, when it shouldn’t be a battle in the first place! Suffering upon suffering upon suffering. This rather contradicts the notion of healing altogether, doesn’t it? Talk about creating a neagtive false sense of self! That is off the charts, creates chronic suffering, and indeed, it is the legacy of psychiatry. What a big fat mess this creates for people, families, and for society on the whole.
Thanks for speaking truth about this. A heads up for many, you’ve been warned. This translates purely as cynical and devoid of compassion and empathy, not to mention bigotry leading to blatant discrimination, loss of human rights and dignity, and all out social abuse, becomes the norm, as we have going on now. So dangerous!
“How many more stories like this do we need to hear before a “professional” telling someone they have a “biochemical imbalance” as an argument for them to ingest neurotoxins is made a criminal offense?”
Yes, that is my question right now, too. Or at least for the word to spread really fast by this point that this really is potentially murderous malpractice and it has got to stop. Why not voluntarily? Yeah yeah I know, money and power yadayada. As far as I’m concerned, that is played. This is some kind of divisive programming, the “othering” factor, mostly through education and training but also through blatant manipulation, that has run amuck.
We’ve been telling these stories for years and years and years now, all over the internet and in all kinds of arenas, and they all have some glaring common denominators which lead easily to the conclusion that this is pure crap, and costly in all kinds of ways. Seems neither reason, logic, or example after example in huge numbers of fails leading to personal tragedies are taken at all into consideration, and instead are either dismissed, argued with, avoided, and/or truth twisted. Nothing is ever their fault, these are the biggest scapegoaters ever, and they lie, lie, lie. That’s unconscionable to me, and downright insane. What is the friggin’ deal with this industry?? For the love of God and your fellow human beings, WAKE (the f*ck) UP!!!
I agree with everything you say here, oldhead, especially this–
“But its important for victims of psychiatry to not be misled into believing that any of this bigotry/”stigma” has anything to do with them as individuals, or their “behavior.” They/we are being oppressed as a stereotype, a class, i.e. the class of people upon which psychiatric labels have been bestowed.”
–that, indeed, the stigma/bigotry is based on stereotyping and classism, and not on reality, this is not deserved. I’d call it scapegoating, and there are many ways to speculate or call out the motive for this abuse against an individual or class of people which threatens the status quo, one way or another. Not following the herd, thinking independently and critically, is one way to get scapegoated, because that person will not feed the system. And so the gaslighting, stigma projections, and systemic bullying begins, standard procedure.
I know that in the process, civil crimes are committed but that can be next to impossible to pinpoint and prove when this is the system itself at work. So with no practical legal recourse for being the victim of this particular brand of hate crime and discrimination, there is healing that can be done here, which is one way to exercise our power and create some kind of change, at least on the inside. That’s a start.
I went through this, very specifically, and got a bit of legal justice initially, but this trend continued as I created my way forward, I could see this was “the norm” all along the system and its tangents.
I called it out all I could and caused a bit of stir here and there, but the most important thing for me was to heal from having been deliberately lied to and about–repeatedly and relentelssly–in a way that specifically blocked my ability to make a living, all based on the negative stereotypes which drew a picture that was truly the opposite of who I was. With that mass delusion present in society already, it was maddening trying to get my truth out to save my own ass, it only caused more backlash. That’s how this works, and it is literally crazy-making.
What I internalized from this was some serious doubt about myself and the world, and in order for me to move forward with my own goals, I had to clear my head of all this treachery and general negativity, and also had to shift how I took on these experiences, give it meaning to my life and personal growth and guidance. I was, after all, making choices that led me to and through all of this. That’s the inner work which I talk about, waking up to many things here in the process, about myself mostly and how to move forward in a more aware, and therefore self-empowered, way.
I knew after a while it wasn’t me causing this, but still, I had to figure out how to best deal with this enormous obstacle (the injustice of stigma/bigotry, and the massive corruption which manifests from this, acting as saboteur to good works and quality of life) so as to meet my own needs and live my life the way I intend, freely.
I had to figure this out internally, by first feeling a lot of hard emotions generated from being ambushed and betrayed by those I had trusted to do their jobs with integrity and comptenece. Alright, so I woke up and discovered I was naive because apparently this was way too much to expect. Led to a lot of changes for me, based on a new truth. Best I could do, that I could think of! In the end, new perspective led to new reality. Exactly how it worked for me.
I’ve tried holding hope that others would change to suit me, but in the end, people change when they’re ready, not when I’m wanting them to–duh! I always have the power to work on myself, though. Not at all the same as self-blame, more like self-creating. This is why I focus inward on this issue, it’s an easier place of reference to create meaningful change.
I know those images well, boans, and that’s exactly what I mean. The mirror in real life. It is, indeed, a choice whether to see and acknowledge one’s own misguided actions when it is purely evident, or to remain defensive, rigid, avoidant, and in cold denial. Two different choices, two different paths. One of them is humble, courageous, truthful, and healing, to own our part in anything that is so life betraying, when we allow ourselves to wake up. That, and only that, is really and truly liberating, on all fronts.
“What gives me hope is that the corruption of our politicians where I live is so open these days that it means we are ready for change.”
Me too! May the doors blow wide open and all be revealed sooner than later. I think at this point, however, the battle is between those of us who really and truly are ready for change and are doing what we can to create and allow it, and those who resist change because the system works for them corrupt, one way or another.
We need a few honest to goodness “sinners-turned-repenters” on our side. They’d hold a lot of power in this because that would mean that they actually went through that transformation themselves, so they ARE the change we want to see in the world. When we stop fearing our shadows and face them with humility, along with any grave errors we may have commited along the way–and most of us have a few things we don’t like thinking about ourselves–we can practice radical self-compassion, and self-forgiveness, if it helps to release guilt. People can go through deep shifts in consciousness, but it does take work, along with the desire to make changes.
Many ways to go once we own our shit, but it’s the only way healing and change can happen. And once people change, the world can’t help but to follow. Can’t be any other way!
Yes, it is generated from within the industry and then projected outward. Society easily takes its cue from the psychiatric propaganda, which is what perpetuates the discrimination. All based on lies and mythology. It’s one big collective mind fuck, nature of the beast.
I think the issue of stigma is really about the negative psychological effects of being treated like an “other” (marginalized), which can become internalized and that will lead to all kinds of troubles for a person that can be very challenging to overcome. There is no peace of mind in this, just constant rumination and inner struggle, either in despair or fighting to keep it at bay. Very easy to slip into hopelessness when living with stigma, so it can become lethal.
The act of stigmatizing a human being is a blatantly abusive act because it is detrimental to a person’s well-being, and it is based on the delusion of an entire society, a mass shadow projection. It’s just one big lie that everyone agrees to, and this becomes the social rule. That’s a society ripe for an awakening, and it won’t come easy because it means everyone will be forced to see their own shadow.
I agree that the burden is on society to do better by its own members, but in addition, it is traumatic to live with stigma. Social stigma is a reflection of what society will not see about itself, and it also deeply harms the individual who is the target of the social abuse. This is not about “hurt feelings.” This is about denying people respectability, rights, and quality of life.
Overcoming having been stigmatized involves specific healing. Otherwise, living with stigma is like having something draining you constantly, which becomes part of one’s own process. This is an issue of personal well-being and quality of life as well as human rights and social justice. These all go hand in hand and all of it must be addressed if we expect meaningful change to occur.
Congratulations on the work you’ve done on yourself, sounds as though it’s been quite fruitful in your healing journey. Certainly living by our values is our integrity and protecting ourselves in a stigmatizing and discriminating industry and community is understandable. However, I can’t see how it speaks of social change–or “rethinking” anything–because there is no challenge to that prejudice, so it remains status quo.
There is another perspective to consider when it comes to our relationships with ourselves and with society at large, and also pertaining to our roles in the world, which I think is well articulated in this quote by Marianne Williamson–
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
“Toxic psychiatry” and “toxic patriarchy” would seem to be just about the same thing. Sound leadership would be nice, where the greater good is considered over greed, which I define as one person’s ego being satisfied at the sacrifice of others–the essence of injustice, a dysfunctional system, and it leads to oppression and needless suffering. Even with good intentions, it’s hard to strike a social balance–if it is at all possible–when we choose to put issues of money and vanity over and above the quality of human life for absolutely everyone in that community, no exclusion, no exceptions.
I think people are getting it more and more. It’ll happen.
Very powerful article and perspective. I struggle with definitions of what is ‘positive’ vs. what is ‘negative,’ and also what is ‘toxic’ vs. what is ‘nourishing.’ They can feel universal in one sense, but there is nuance and individuality here, too, that is, diversity and relativity.
I use these words, but context and intention do matter and language has so much energy to it. We attach a lot to words, and also personalize them, I think that’s human nature. We also have the free will to choose how we face ourselves and how we relate to the world around us, through language, at any given moment. There’s a lot of creativity in how we express ourselves. I think it’s more of an art than a science, because we actually CREATE from language.
I believe one thing that is clear is that allowing ALL our emotions is where freedom comes in. And yes, our society is highly restrictive here, no permission to be fully ourselves (or even hardly ourselves!), which not only cuts us off from our nature–which, in turn, is terribly harmful–but also, this is oppression.
Psychiatry, in particular, slams and penalizes not just emotions, but passion, which is our spirit. Hard to put any kind of positive spin on that, it just sucks, and in the end, it is debilitating if one does not find a way back to oneself from being harmed this way. And yes, it is harmful and abusive to emotionally manipulate others by attaching shame to how someone feels about anything. That can ONLY be a projection because how can it be shameful to feel? That is dehumanizing, and defies all logic to me. As long as we’re ok with ourselves, I don’t think we need anyone else’s permission. The trick is allowing ourselves to be ourselves.
These are challenging times. All kinds of things are coming forth from the shadows, and into the light, including some very strong emotions that come with awakening. Well, they need to if we are ever to know truth in this era of smoke & mirrors. Gaslighting has become our way of life. Hopefully, this time of “social reset” will bring clarity to all that, and we’ll see what is behind this haze passing over us. And indeed, there will be lots of long held back emotions being expressed in all kinds of ways, from all over the spectrum. To feel is the essence of human nature. No qualifiers on that!
furies, I’ve never paid anything I just watched all the free videos and workshops that I could find and did the work on my own. Had I needed help with the work I’d have paid for one of the more in depth workshops but I know how to do neural shifting and all that, so the validation and info was enough to get me started, opened up a healing path for this.
But I think many of these are legit, these folks really do want to help others, we know what a challenging issue this is. The comments on these videos really show what a hidden issue this has been, as well, now coming to light in a significant way. This helps the world, the greater good, because it’s a big problem, this is more common than not and causes undue suffering, absolutely no need for this, screws everyone up simply to satisfy ONE person’s ego.
Trust instincts as always of course but I’m glad to hear this is an awakening for you. This topic took me far, really undid a lot of my confusion and FINALLY the pattern stopped! I can see clearly now, huge relief! Keep going, you’ll be so glad you did.
Yes it’s all I’ve done for the past 10 years. My life is dedicated to helping people get on with their lives and also to circumvent the system if they want real and true healing. I operate in a new paradigm which I learned along the way and it was the game changer for me.
After walking away from the system, I went back as a public speaker to expose the harms and made a film from within the system which was a platform for each of us to speak our truth about discrimination and harm done by these labels, for starters. We’ve all moved on to fulfill our goals and each one of us is doing things to help others, so it’s rippling which is enormously gratifying.
I was making headway and doing day long workshops for system clients and staff (all in one room together, biggest group was 45 people) which were popular and controversial and got people to consider different perspectives and actually getting people to wake up, but I was eventually called out as a “radical who went against the system” and not allowed to do anymore, so I walked away and regrouped, started my own thing independently, still at it and growing.
I did an online workshop with Melanie, she’s the one who introduced me to this topic. She is excellent!
Teal Swan posted a video recently about this called “Gaslighting (What is Gaslighting and How To Heal From It)” which some might find helpful, she covers quite a bit in 23 minutes–
Honestly, I think this is the best topic to explore when it comes to our well-being. It’s the hidden beast in our society, what I’d call “a silent killer.” This kind of crazy-making abuse leads to suicide, easily, if we don’t wake up to it and do the healing work to address this.
“What I think we’re talking about here is people who are COMMITTED to negative and destructive behavior, people who genuinely believe that the best way to live is to be selfish and disingenuous and to mess with other people’s success and even their very sanity.”
Yes, that is exactly what we’re talking about. Nightmare on Earth. How to stop this? would be my question. How do people get away with this, and keep going? How to fight against abuse is a problem in our society, given how we live in an abusive society. Sure is a head scratcher.
I’m talking about a much more sinister behavior, which would be part of a person’s relationship dynamic which they carry forward with everyone. Some people are so conditioned to being around this that they don’t notice it unless they wake up to what has been draining them for so long.
Anyone can be a jerk, we’ve all been that at times. Especially when fighting and standing up to abuse, it seems natural to try to fight fire with fire, but that is only a downward spiral and lose/lose.
An energy vampire is relentless in their need for control and overpowering others, and will not leave the scene without making a huge mess for innocent people, first, because they THRIVE on the pain of others, and second it feels powerful to an otherwise relatively powerless-feeling person, despite what they might project outward, like a costume. I’d say this behavior shows a lack of moral compass.
This can be really bad news if that kind of person is in a position of power and authority, and that seems to be the norm nowadays. Why do we put up with it, continuously? It’s all of society participating in this, one way or another, until we don’t any longer.
Thank you for your transparency and very powerful truth-speaking, Robert. Tons of food for thought here, which I will sit with and process.
I think the question of such paradigm shifts based on profound social and individual wounding will require what is more than likely beyond our thinking at this time, but it is not beyond our creative capacity. This is one time where the gut and heart will lead, has to be. Social transformation means changing how we experience reality, and that is not a bureaucratic or systemic issue. It is deeply personal and individual. Somehow, it has to work out in the whole, and that will be a matter of copacetic people coming together, first, how energy gathers in a harmonious way. Even 2 people who can work authentically, respectfully, and seamlessly together are more powerful than thousands of people in disarray. That would be a good start, to find that internalized harmony, first, then it can be created outside of ourselves to reflect the inner harmony.
“Whatever happens, I’d like to avoid doing what people in our world have done for far too long and that is forming a circular firing squad.”
Well put and great goal. I’ve been working in the capacity of activism and change for years, with regard to the “mental health” industry–which, admittedly, I have disdain for all of it, from my personal experience of it and then adding to that all that I’ve read and heard from others over the years. The big picture is very ugly. I’ve faced many a firing squad not only for my truth-speaking against the system, but even for how I talk about my healing! I’ve been offered alternative realities, people love to change my story to fit their need to stigmatize, judge, and project negatively. Gives you an idea JUST HOW BAD the problem is. Divide and conquer seems to have worked here.
Fortunately, I got used to it and can now make a choice whether I want to face that or not. When I don’t, I enjoy the peace which my life has become after healing from this mess. That took decades and also, it took its toll, but it’s the contribution to change and transformation I feel best about (and I’ve produced a few other things, as well, over the years to challenge the system), because I rejected the entire field ultimately (I was a clincian as well as client, very dedicated to the field of “psychology”) and found my healing path far and away from that, which is not the same for everyone. Besides, when I have to say “I healed from pts from the mh field,” something is dreadfully wrong, at the very core of this, obviously!
Our healing paths are unique, based on so many things about us, personally. For me, everything about the field of counseling psychology, including graduate school, was one big crazy abusive competetive mess, and terribly misinformed, at best. I found my path through other means more natural and energetic, healing spirit wounding, issues of betrayal and ambush, as well as physical damage. I did tons of neural shifting and strengthening my nervous system by thinking a bit better of myself than I had been. That was vital, and the opposite of what was happening in the therapist’s office. Somehow, powerlessness and dependence starts to creep into these relationships, especially if one has a label to begin with. It only goes down the rabbit hole from there.
For me, my healing was deep work which was more an act of living and paying attention to myself, being open, flexible and humble to necessary changes within me, if I wanted to have a good quality of life and attract what I wanted from it.
In addition, I am part of a group of practicing manifestors, whose intention it is to ground our light and build new things which will be sound, just, creative, and community well-being oriented, to expand light on this currently ailing and darkened planet of ours. That’s not easy because first we have to sort through our own shit in order to not make the same mistakes which were inflicted upon us, including “group think,” which is non-inclusive and non-expansive, poised to become dysfunctional, bullying, and marginalizing one way or another.
This is not an easy task, but it is a highly creative endeavor to help bring in a new paradigm. So much unknown, so much uncertainty, kinda scary and very exciting. What choice do we have? We know what we don’t want, so we know what we do want. And we’re going for it.
“You now can’t call out narcissism as a moral ethical problem, because it’s been made into a medical personality disorder diagnosis that psychiatrists-psychologists claim only ‘they’ can ‘diagnose’.”
Indeed, as I was writing my comment, I was aware of this irony but I didn’t bother to caveat. Using such common vernacular that people understand on a gut level can easily get confused with “non-medical medicalizing.” I also use the terms vampire or energy sucker or double binder. I’m sure in time we’ll have other terms before they become overused and co-opted, as the above have already, no doubt. This can certainly become a game of name calling, which makes me shudder. Kind of immature in and of itself, I’d say. I’ve certainly been guilty of this. It’s tough to articulate, but the feeling is powerful.
None of these terms are very nice, but then again, we’re talking about people who can have a favorable public/social image, but in reality, whose insidious actions are seriously harmful to others. It can be covert and sinister. And even when this gets expressed and called out, it is not only vehemently denied, it is projected onto another and things only get worse from there. Tons of marginalizing happens this way, true injustice leading to chronic suffering.
I could also say “deeply wounded people,” but that’s a lot of us, until we heal those wounds. And not everyone with deep wounds takes it out on others, but more so, they take it out on themselves while trying to be as nice to others as possible to specifically avoid the repetition, but that tends to backfire because it is not authentic and comes off as people pleasing. The change has to be internal before outer changes occur.
When we do heal from having endured such a dynamic, which can only be transformative from what I can see, then we have no reason or desire to act that way any longer or to treat anyone at all with such dehumanizing disregard, which would be a HUGE relief to all of humanity! That would be the most crucial point for me.
Thank you again for all of this, Magdalene, and for bringing this book and other works along this line, to the forefront. To me this is vital and more widespread that people realize (although I think people are starting to get this and wake up to it more and more), so it’s brilliant information right now, we need this awareness. This is my personal offering on the subject–
If you put “healing from narcissistic abuse” or “healing from narcissistic parents” in the YouTube search engine, pages and pages of videos will pop up with all kinds of different people talking about how they addressed and healed this, from their own experience. It’s not one size fits all, and this presents a variety of perspectives and options, based on how it resonates with different people.
It can make all the difference to address this in ourselves and change these patterns of thinking based on shadow projection abuse. Our neurons are quite flexible and with focused practice, we can transform our thinking. That’s what changes reality because when we think differently, we notice different things and we also act differently, so as a result, we attract different things into our lives and experience, not repeating the past but instead, creating a new future. That’s how I’ve experienced it working and I’ve heard similar testimonials as the result of healing from this particular brand of abuse. It is literally life-changing, at the core.
Narcissistic abuse is so insidious and can be really hard to pinpoint as such in a society where it is the norm. This was the final stage of my healing, learning about this, and how to undo it. I learned from one source that we end up gaslighting ourselves as a result of being chronically misled, lied to, and reflected back negatively for the purpose of power and control (especially when it is from people who are supposed to be helping and supporting us), which I could relate to when I heard this, causing doubt and fear of consequences to lace just about every action and interaction. It’s really so very horrible! Causes such internal suffering.
And yes, this is chronic within the “mental health” industry, in fact it is the foundation of it. The DSM is a book of gaslighting. Being labeled IS narcissistic abuse!
THANK YOU SO MUCH for writing about this! I think it’s extermely relevant now given what is going on in the world. We’re all being gaslighted now, so this healing has tremendous value in present time if we cherish and are to preserve our freedom.
I really love the transformational healing path and soul growth. Thanks for this beautiful offering, Magdalene. I found it quite moving.
“Many of the you tubers I listen to are optimistic that the truth will prevail, and that this lockdown will aid in that necessary awakening. But I do know the systemic evil of the globalists is staggering and mind blowing. And awakening to the magnitude of their systemic crimes, is not easy. I’ve been researching into, and painting their systemic crimes for decades now, and I’m still appalled. Perhaps due to their lack of repentance.”
Yep, you said it right, SE, exactly where I am. It’s like an ever-binding loop that needs to be broken. I’m sure it’s a work in progress, it’s being chipped away at by all of us one way or another, that’s what I believe in any event. Too many are awake to this shit now in all corners of life, but it’s a hard one because it can be a dangerous game to bust up abusive systems, it is not a game of surrender.
I think one reason for the optimism is that issues are in our faces and up front in the light now, more and more coming, so we’re all kind of looking in the mirror at this point. With the systems falling apart, I wonder what can we do to consciously create forward away from what is proving failed, toward something much, much BETTER! A world in which anyone who chooses to can thrive without sabotage based on hate and fear. I believe now would be a good time to assess this, given what we’re learning as we go here. Everyday something new in this unfolding.
That’s what I mean by this being a highly creative time, what we need most for transforming society into something sound, humane, and functional. It’s becoming more and more obvious that this is exactly what we don’t have (we knew, others are starting to get it), and I believe it’s what we’re craving as a collective (aside from the power-mongers). Keeping the faith, indeed, that we can focus this into being. I appreciate your truth and light energy around this, SE, thank you!
People do need hope and positive vision at a time like this. I believe it helps at least some people.
So what can we best do for the more vulnerable populations who need the most help and support right now, and who are in the most confining or powerless positions?
Someone Else, I believe this is the beginning of big changes, from that bigger picture perspective that I know we’ve talked about. There is tons of awakening to happen here. This global event is shaking it all up and it will affect everyone differently. Old systems and beliefs are being seriously challenged. That’s enough to change the world, one step at a time. As creative beings, we can do our part to make it a positive change. This is going to take stretching in thinking, taking us to new creative levels. This is my vision for the new paradigm. I think it’s time for artists to step forward in a big way.
This certainly could be the start of the most creative time for the world, and also supremely healing. Embracing uncertainty, finding calm in the storm (or better yet, BEING the calm in the storm), tuning in to one’s inner voice above and beyond outside chaos, practicing self-resourcefulness, trusting the process of change, etc. All kinds of energy swirling around now, with no clear focus or vision or expected outcome, it remains to be seen. This is transformation time!
Very rich and interesting article with lots of food for thought, thank you. My overall thought at this point is that we need our emotions to know our soul, the roadmap to healing. Otherwise, how would we know whether or not we’re at peace?
All true and I agree, Steve, although I have a few specific people in mind–especially one psychiatrist– who totally took advantage of my vulnerability and trust at the time which led to consequences which I, in turn, had to heal and repair on my own, and which was still costly in many ways. This guy was brutal and looking back from a space of more clarity and without the dependence I’d been feeling at the time, to me it seems he was kinda crazy in a sinisterly narcissistic way. But if I wanted to work–and that was my only goal back then, to get back to work–I had no choice at that time but to see him because I was going through voc rehab.
And while it’s not my style to wish ill on anyone, I can’t help but to take comfort in the phrase, “Karma’s a bitch.” That’s part of the drain with all this, creates all of this inner conflict. We try to be nice, but some people make that impossible, if we are to not be doormats (or vampire food!). I spoke my truth before ditching him but the consequences of his irresponsible words and insidious actions were far-reaching. I’m not sure they realize the harm they do with these projections. They sabotage quality of life, and in some cases, life itself. And yes, high earners for all this, to boot. It’s why we’ve been calling in change, this is a perfect example of “what is wrong with this picture?”
“The “mental health” professions, at least at this time in our history, are seeming to be pretty much the opposite of enlightened.”
I think that’s because there is no education for understanding our humanity other than life and no training for how to relate to others outside of experience. It is the *opposite* of academic and speculative. Life is what we experience as “real.”
YES on abolition of course. I used to lean more toward reforming and improving things, but after all these years of processing this and learning of others’ experiences on here, and also from these dialogues and how I’ve experienced them, I simply cannot see reform as realistic or feasable at this point, from where I sit. Although how it will all end/transform is anyone’s guess and remains to be seen. Every system is being tested to the limit at this point, they are bursting at the seams.
Perfect, thank you!
Yes, the dynamic does repeat and it adds insult to injury, and that all has to be worked out somehow if one expects healing on this level. That’s hard inner work, doable but quite challenging. Shouldn’t have to be this way but right now the harm they do runs deep and until this stops, people can get stuck in the abyss created by this hellish system.
However, for me there actually was one big difference: my family didn’t rob me blind like these vampires did, taking my money while disabling me with poison and then all out abuse and discrimination as I was trying to heal from the drugs toxicity. Fortunately I found what I needed to heal and get on with things, and I am generally a very forgiving person and I’ve got a pretty big heart, but it turns stone cold when I think about this horrific institution. Call me extreme, but I wholeheartedly believe it’s completely justified in this case, and totally reasonable. My experience with psychiatry–and, in fact, any tangent of the “mental health” inudstry–can be spelled out in one word: sabotage.
“I do hope that outlining my difference in approach will be of some use to those who want to see concrete improvements in culture and practice take place and lead to meaningful and substantial directions to reduce abuse, discrimination, and malpractice in a psychiatric world that is extremely dysfunctional.”
How about ELIMINATING abuse, discrimination, and malpractice? Technically, it’s illegal but somehow, this industry gets away with it–which makes it systemic–and in fact most of us realize to what extent these provide the cornerstone of psychiatry, in practice. And when an industry is based on abuse and discrimination and dangerous misinformation, then how on Earth would it reform itself? How could it possibly learn to operate from and with integrity? That would take an entirely new paradigm of thinking, starting with extreme humility and self-responsibility.
Is psychiatry capable of this? I’d venture to guess that it is not, that it is rather severely stuck in one extremely narrow way of thinking which is the core of “dysfunction.”
So if they practice dysfunction, then this is what is being passed along to clients, how could it not be? Clients are expected to accomodate dysfunction, which only perpetuates not only anxiety and distress in individuals, but also social dysfunction at large. All this complicated and complex bureacracy to help humanity heal from trauma and abuse we’ve all been putting up with for way too long? I think not, that is beyond absurd and only adds to the confusion, overwhelm, and feelings of powerlessness, nothing else.
Of course, they’d never admit to doing all of this extreme harm despite all kinds of protests of abuse and torture and extreme manipulation adding up to mind control, then they’d be admitting guilt and would owe their clients big time. But they have, and they do, that is truth. No way to get around that.
Next step in change would be for psychiatrists to admit their wrongdoing and offer reparations. That would be just, honorable, and courageous, and would offer new hope to people. What exactly would the “reformation dialogue” be about, otherwise? Of course, they can keep lying, covering up, and projecting their guilt onto clients and perpetuating abuse, discrimination and malpractice. It’s a choice.
I think the shared distress is mass gaslighting, which would merit a new level of discernment, aka expanded consciousness. Everyone will have their own truth of the matter and is entitled to their own reality by choosing a perspective from which to experience it. Respect and appreciation for the inherent and natural diversity of humanity will put an end to oppression.
I did want to add that of course we are all human and far from perfect. We all make mistakes in order to learn from them and do better as we go along, growing in self-awareness. And we all have the capacity to self-forgive and to make postive changes from within that will translate into an improved world. Keyword: ALL.
Identifying abuse, gaslighting, family dysfunction and injustice is necessary in order to know one’s truth and also the direction of their healing. One person’s healing will affect everyone around them one way or another. Truth always trumps denial, when it comes to power.
Sometimes parents can be so self-absorbed and needy, a kid can grow up believing they are responsible for others at their own sacrifice. Some households can practice toxic, marginalizing dynamics based on all kinds of judgments and prejudices, and become very unsafe for some children, so they grow up in chronic fear and anxiety, feeling as though they don’t belong anywhere, and that can turn into living with chronic terror and dread. How parents respond to life issues, problems and crises is how a child learns by example.
It’s usually not simply the pattern of communication that is the issue but more so what beliefs are behind negative communication, and how this influences what a child grows up believing about themselves and the world, based on the parents’ influence. If the child is particularly senstive and can pick up energy easily (which many children are like this and grow up to become very intuitive adults), then they will more than likely carry within them any unexpressed or unresolved conflict until it is acknowledged what the root cause of this is or it will persist. In order to solve a problem, it is important to know the root of it and address it as such. Real and true change (aka healing) is made at the core, not topically.
Last thing someone who is healing needs is denial of how their childhood environment plays a role in shaping their self-image and self-regard. I believe that is universal. Not all parents have a “parental instinct.”
You have really captured it boans, these are the dilemmas and considerations in healing from social abuse, and it’s not an easy picture. Change and transformation are messy, like the eggs breaking to make the omelette. Trusting our own selves and how our process guides us is where we can feel safer as we go. We’re all uncertain of the future, that’s universal.
“My ‘faith’ has wavered much over the past 9 years, going from absolute to wondering why my God would allow such things to occur. And yet then I realise it is a test of integrity that is being applied to these people,”
Yep, for all of us, so here’s our opportunity to follow that light and it will be a better path, uplifting and clearer. That’s my belief and vision, in any event, and my experience so far. It helps to connect with what we truly believe and walk that talk, then we’re in synch with ourselves and we move forward with greater ease.
“and they are failing miserably.”
Oh yeah, the corruption is a runaway train, let them wrestle with it. They have to hit rock bottom (whatever that is, scary to think about) before waking up and it will be a rude awakening for them. That’s what happens when it is not voluntary. We do have a choice to embrace change or to resist it. The latter choice makes it much, much harder to navigate, of this I’m certain. I’d recommend *allowing* change, that is more ease than not. They’re resisting it, so they will have problems, but that is their awakening, so it’s quite just.
“What will be the eventual consequence of that failure?”
At some point, it has to turn on them, as more and more of us “scapegoats” wake up and stop feeding the vampires and claim our personal sovereignty. I believe that is our birthright, but we were born into oppression, so we have to untie that Gordion Knot ourselves. That’s a hard one, albeit doable, this is not new. Although I do believe that IS the point of all this. Walking away from energy drainers such as these is where we begin to connect with our own power–and a bit more inner peace in the process because anxiety lowers from empowerment–and then we can get acquainted with ourselves on much better terms. Makes all the difference what we believe about ourselves.
“They want us to fear THEIR enemies. And their enemies just happen to be US.”
Ah, yes, got it. Wow, that is keen analysis, boans, and on point. This is what we don’t want to buy into, that’s a terrible and self-sabotaging program.
“The illnesses being caused by the destruction of the planet by psychotic corporations…”
Yes, I agree, that is my truth, too. And what community of origin fosters the people who run such corrupt industries that are sabotaging global society? There is a root to every issue.