The Year I Lost Everything, Psychiatry Offered Nothing


After years of battling depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, my younger son, Alan Ross Jacobs, died on January 10, 2015. Three months later, I attempted suicide by overdosing on pills and alcohol in the hope that I could be with Alan again. As a result of my failed suicide attempt, New York State incarcerated me in a mental institution. For 21 days, I was confined in an environment that was degrading, stultifying, and downright depressing.

Rather than alleviating depression, the physical environment in the geriatric ward where I was confined actually added to my despair. All the walls were grayish-white and devoid of any decoration. Windows were screened with such dense material that little natural light shone through. The furniture was of beige plastic and, wherever possible, bolted to the floor.  Bedrooms consisted of two beds, each with a foam mattress on a wooden base. Open shelves were provided for clothing, the only personal possessions patients were permitted to have except for an approved paperback or two. We spent most of our time in the day room, which had a row of bolted-down plastic chairs against one wall, a TV, a refrigerator, and a table with some moveable chairs around it. In the corner stood a pay phone, which we were allowed to use for a couple of hours in the morning and evening (cell phones were forbidden). The TV was always on unless there was some sort of group meeting being held in the room. The only way to change the channel or adjust the volume was to find a staff member, who then had to get the remote control out of the locked nurse’s office adjacent to the day room.

The dining room was as colorless and dim as everything else in the hospital. The food was equally drab and made worse by having to eat everything with a spork—a cross between a spoon and a fork. The dining room also served as the visitors’ room after lunch and dinner. There was always a guard at the door—actually a psychiatric aide (PA)—listening to and watching everything. The first night, my older son, Erik, and his wife came to visit, and the PA asked Erik to empty out the bag of supplies he had brought me. The hardcover books were prohibited; their size and heft meant they would be dangerous if thrown. Later, the drawstrings on my pajama bottoms were removed; my shoelaces had already been taken.

After my visitors left, it was time to go to bed, but I didn’t get any sleep at all because of the noise coming from other rooms, and we were not allowed to shut the door to our own rooms. Too soon—it was barely light outside—there was a pounding on my open door and a loud voice yelling “Vitals!” Patients lined up in the hall to have their blood pressure and temperature taken. Then most of us then sat around in the day room until breakfast at 7 a.m.

At breakfast, I discovered that even though we were in a “geriatric ward,” a number of the patients were women in their early forties; one was in her twenties. Like me, two of the women had been committed following suicide attempts. Fortunately, these women and I became very close. Their support, more than anything else, made the days bearable.

Sadly, some of the other patients suffered from very serious issues. In some cases, those issues manifested in ways that made me feel unsafe. For instance, someone threw a chair in the day room and it passed me too closely for comfort. There was also the time I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink and a woman came out from behind the shower curtain; she must have been watching me as I urinated. It was sometimes very uncomfortable to be in the day room because one male patient didn’t keep his hospital gown closed.

The day room was also the setting for group therapy sessions, but most of the patients stayed in their rooms or sat around the perimeter of the day room without participating. At the start of the sessions, we were handed a clipboard and asked to sign in. Even those who were not participating were asked to sign. We were told that if we did, we would be “given credit” for attending. Toward the end of my hospitalization, I realized that I’d been signing in for an exercise program when the activity being conducted was something else entirely. Apparently the hospital was falsifying records indicating that physical activity was being provided. In truth, the only physical activity was an occasional, supervised group walk on the hospital grounds. That happened only four times in my three-week stay.

During group therapy, we often filled out questionnaires, but there was rarely any discussion of our responses. Often, the questions focused on how to avoid the pitfalls that could lead to a relapse into addiction, which served little purpose for patients suffering from depression or suicide attempts. Art therapy was also offered. Again, there was never any discussion of what we were doing, why we were doing it, or what our artwork might reveal about us. The “therapy” usually involved coloring on worksheets. “Music therapy” consisted of listening to CDs while sitting around a table.

One-on-one therapy would have been far more effective, as it could have been tailored to individual needs. Given the patients’ wide array of problems, it doesn’t seem possible that there could be a one-size-fits-all therapeutic approach. When I discussed this with the social worker in charge of recreational therapy, she told me she agreed but pointed out that there was no budget for more individualized programs. She added that the limited budget didn’t allow for patients with different conditions and different needs to be separated into different facilities or wards. At least I had an answer; most of my questions about hospital conditions or treatments had been met with some variation of “If you question or resist, your stay in the hospital will be longer.”

Patients did occasionally have private sessions with a psychiatrist and a psychologist, but I only met with the psychiatrist three times and didn’t see the psychologist until I’d been in the hospital more than two weeks. At the first meeting with the psychiatrist, she reviewed the facts of my case—I was 65, lived alone, had lost a son, and my other son lived 900 miles away. Given these four simple facts, she decided that I was suffering from textbook geriatric depression. She never asked me any questions about my life that might have revealed alternatives. She never learned that I was not suffering from irritability, apathy, withdrawal, or changes in appetite, which are among the most common on the checklist of “geriatric depression” symptoms. Nor did she learn that I’d been working at a job I loved, was in a long-term romantic relationship, and was the organizer of a very active women’s group.

The psychiatrist did ask how I had slept and quickly decided to write an order for sleeping pills after she learned I hadn’t been able to sleep because of the noise. She also prescribed several antidepressants and a sedative. I told her that, given the circumstances of my son’s death, I didn’t want to take that many pills. She sighed and agreed to begin with a trial of one antidepressant, Effexor, and the sedative.

That evening and twice a day thereafter I lined up along the hallway walls with the other “inmates” to get our medication. We weren’t allowed to sit down. At night, almost all of us were given sleeping pills. Patients would rush to be at the front of the line in order to get a temporary reprieve from the misery of incarceration.

When a patient arrived at the window where the drugs were dispensed, the technicians would call out the names of the drugs as they put the pills in a little plastic cup. Klonopin, a benzodiazepine used to treat anxiety and schizophrenia, among other ailments, was given to many. This was one of the drugs on which my son Alan had become dependent and that had contributed to his lethal overdose. I had learned that Klonopin is not recommended for those with a history of depression or suicidal thoughts or behavior. It is also considered particularly dangerous for older adults because its sedative effects last longer in older people. So it struck me as odd that this drug was being given to geriatric patients with a history like mine.

When I got to the dispensary window on the second evening of my confinement, I was given four pills instead of the Effexor and sedative I’d expected.  I asked what the other two pills were. The dispensing nurse said one was for my GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease)—although I’d already taken that pill in the morning—and the other was to help me sleep. I didn’t want to risk being considered uncooperative, so I took the pills. The next morning, I felt so drugged that I could barely open my eyes.

Eventually, another nurse in the dispensary told me that the extra pills I had been given were Zyprexa (an antipsychotic sometimes used in conjunction with antidepressants) and Remeron (an antidepressant that is used as a sleeping medication because of its sedative effects). They had been prescribed by the psychiatrist without any discussion or explanation. This dishonest practice violates New York State Office of Mental Health regulations, which require that the purpose, possible side effects, and alternatives to the drugs offered be explained. No one had even discussed the side effects of the one antidepressant drug I’d agreed to take.

When I met with the psychiatrist again, she told me the pills that she had prescribed would help me sleep. I explained that because those pills made me feel like a zombie, I would not take them anymore. I also refused to take increasingly high doses of antidepressants; I’d seen how many negative side effects these drugs can have while watching my son throughout his decades of treatment. Instead of trying to understand my concerns, assuage my fears, or change my medication, the psychiatrist simply labeled me as “resistant to therapy.” Those words would come back to haunt me when my original release date was postponed. My reasons for refusing the pills were not important. After all, I had been committed; how could my judgment be trusted?

No one seemed to notice or care that my drug avoidance was partially a response to my son’s fatal overdose, nor did anyone seem concerned about the possible physiological repercussions of the “pill therapy.” YES, I was—and continue to be—resistant to taking drugs. Given Alan’s history, that shouldn’t have been surprising. I later learned that the hospital records incorrectly stated that my son had died in a motor vehicle accident, so the reasons behind my resistance wouldn’t have crossed their minds.

Excessive restrictions, lack of privacy, lack of exercise, and boredom combined to make my life at the psychiatric hospital miserable. Realizing how unhappy I was and fearing a deterioration in my mental condition, Erik discussed various possibilities with the hospital staff. This led to my being given a marble-covered composition notebook so that I could keep a journal of my experiences. Unfortunately, patients weren’t allowed to have pens. The one pencil I was given had to be frequently sharpened, which meant finding an aide who could take the pencil into the office to sharpen it and then bring it back. What should have been an additional therapeutic avenue turned into yet another source of anxiety and frustration.

Not surprisingly, I only wrote in the journal once, but the seeds of writing about my experiences had been planted and, over the four years following my release, grew into Broken: How the Broken Mental Health System Leads to Broken Lives and Broken Hearts, published by Amazon in 2019. It’s the story of the many ways the mental health system failed my son, largely by relying on drugs to solve his problems. It’s also the story of how my stay in a mental hospital robbed me of autonomy, self-worth, and self-esteem. Nothing about me as an individual was valued or even recognized in that place. How can such treatment possibly foster mental health? Yes, we’ve come a long way from the horrid living conditions and patient abuse in the mental asylums of the early 1900s. But we haven’t come far enough.


Mad in America hosts blogs by a diverse group of writers. These posts are designed to serve as a public forum for a discussion—broadly speaking—of psychiatry and its treatments. The opinions expressed are the writers’ own.


  1. Thank you Lcomac.
    You survived Alcatraz.
    I still think it’s illegal to imprison people that try to end their lives. The last I checked, it is not illegal, at least not if one succeeds. Which begs the question, do they want people to succeed? Do they try and warn people, so they won’t botch it?
    The other thing that needs to be addressed by lawyers is that they imprison “suicidal” people and then proceed to give them a depressing environment and force you to take chemicals that depress and produce suicidal thinking.
    Lawyers and the UN need to address what is REALLY going on. It is either a methodically designed plan, by psychiatry, or covert damage. Either way, they are guilty.
    Of course they are aware. It’s just a job, a job that no one wanted. A place to put people that have problems in navigation.
    And the only reason it survives is because it sits under the umbrella of “healthcare”. Neither psych nor regular healthcare are going up in quality. Everyone is fed up.
    So it’s time for a change. It is time for psychiatry to exit or use the proper terminology which are “poisons”, instead of medication, “prison” instead of hospital. I can’t write the alternative word for “doctor” on here, because I would be insulting all those good psychiatrists that don’t lock people up for their own good.

    Unless you committed a crime, why not sue for slander, false imprisonment?

    And I disagree, it’s not better from the asylum days, it’s just different. The same inhumane, dehumanizing shit goes on now.

  2. Well, this is an especially cruel encounter with psychiatry. That quack-fest sold its dangerous “care” to a loving and productive mom who needed help for her son, killed him, somehow, after only a few years, and then quacked mom out when she could not “adjust” to her massive and eternal loss.

    If I were her, I’d probably take a knee on those brutes.

  3. “Apparently the hospital was falsifying records indicating that physical activity was being provided. In truth, the only physical activity was an occasional, supervised group walk on the hospital grounds. ”

    Aww that old fraud. I think people would be shocked (not ECT’ed) to find out how the successes of mental health services are manipulated through fraud. Not that they care really because all the money being thrown at mental health is going to a good cause. I’ll give you a clue, it isn’t healing patients.

    “They had been prescribed by the psychiatrist without any discussion or explanation. This dishonest practice violates New York State Office of Mental Health regulations, which require that the purpose, possible side effects, and alternatives to the drugs offered be explained. No one had even discussed the side effects of the one antidepressant drug I’d agreed to take.”

    Do those “regulations” require that the purpose, possible side effects and alternatives to the drugs be explained to someone who is unconscious? Because I think you will find that once you have achieved the status of “patient” they don’t have to do jack *&^% for you, as seems to be borne out by your article. It’s like the invocation of “emergency provisions” which at times consist of a person using the term “no”. Check the last line of those regulations, I think you will find it’s the ‘flush button’ that throws the whole set of regulations out. I know in the ones that apply where I live it basically says, “if there is a conflict in the above, doctor wins”. So if as a doctor I don’t inform you of something, and you think it was important, tough.

    In my instance I made a complaint about being snatched from my bed after being ‘spiked’ with benzos and having a knife planted on me to obtain a police referral (and create the appearance of lawfulness). This was investigated and I was informed that should I continue with my complaint I would be ‘fuking destroyed’. So in my instance the year I lost everything, psychiatry offered negligence, fraud and slander to ensure that my complaint about their use of known torture methods and kidnapping were covered up. They literally took everything i had ever worked for because of the need to conceal their criminal conduct, and my community has turned their back on me because ‘medicine’. Amazing what they will do to get people the ‘help’ they need, and how much of an effort their colleagues will make to ensure they don’t see what they are looking directly at.

    Mind you, I can’t say I actually had a problem with the psychiatrist, it was the filthy scab lackies who operate on a lynch mob mentality that were the problem. They seem to think that it’s about doing their best to mislead the psychiatrist into their way of thinking, which is to do what it is THEY think is best for you. Which is in general directly correlated with what is best for them funnily enough.

    Anyone know what drugs this young man who has been arrested in Britain on ‘terrorist charges’ was prescribed for his “mental health issues”? Any use of ‘enticements’ (gaslighting) to check his willingness to engage in terrorist acts before ‘closing the file’?

  4. What an incredible testimony about your experience. Thank you so much for sharing this. I especially appreciated your gentle description of other patients whose behavior was problematic, as well as your understandable resistance to medication which was used to further label you. I hope that when I do finally tell my story openly that I can be as eloquent as you have been here.

    • “Psychiatry only makes sense when you look at it from the perspective of eugenics.”

      It’s a powerful statement streetphotobeing. I guess when you look at it the line really has to be drawn somewhere, and unfortunate that ‘life not worthy of living’ in my community seems to be directly correlated with how much financial gain can be extracted from individuals called ‘patients’.

      I once said to a psychiatrist that I saw her as a gardener, going through and removing the ‘weeds’ in the same way I applied glyphosate to the unwanted ‘plants’ in my garden. weeds being a definition matter in as much as a person can become a ‘patient’ to justify taking action against them that would otherwise be considered unethical. (both plants, one desired and wanted, the other unwanted and difficult to remove before it reproduces)

      In that sense I feel like Chance the Gardener in Being There, “I understand” 🙂

      What they don’t seem to understand is, it’s not their garden, and they, like a noxious weed seem to have taken a hold. Did someone say Plague (KFC)?

  5. My experience with forced treatment (due to a sleep walking/talking issue, once ever in my life) might even have been worse than yours. It consisted of only three brief meetings with the psychiatrist in the two and a half week stay, no exercise, no windows, no contact with nature, no art therapy, and no contact with my family or friends was allowed. Although, the ELCA hospital doctor who had me medically unnecessarily held against my will was eventually convicted by the FBI for crimes against the state, not to mention many patients.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I agree psychiatry and psychology offer people nothing, but they do also attempt to take everything from people as well. And I do now have financial, medical, and legal proof of this, from psychiatrists and psychologists who profiteered, or attempted to profiteer, off of covering up the abuse of my child, for the systemic child rape covering up ELCA Lutheran religion.

    But it is a shame the mainstream religions entered into a faustian, by DSM design, “dirty little secret of the two original educated professions,” deal with the scientifically “invalid,” systemic child abuse/rape covering up and profiteering, “mental health” workers.

    I’m quite certain both the religions and the “mental health” workers should get out of the child abuse covering up business. Especially since their systemic crimes have resulted in the destruction of our country, now that we all live in a “pedophile empire.”

    I don’t know if “we’ve come a long way from the horrid living conditions and patient abuse in the mental asylums of the early 1900s. But” I do agree, “we haven’t come far enough.”

  6. I have also been depressed and experienced a lot of trauma in my biological family. I’ve been hospitalized, some was good but some a joke. I had an excellent psychiatrist who broke through my denial. He was an old fashioned talk psychiatrist who helped me a lot but retired. I was forced to find another who cut my meds and saw me for maybe 10 minutes. After a final altercation with him about my last med l quit seeing him. I remembered a coworker from my old Md psychiatrist that he liked. I got in touch with him as he still has a practice and that was the best thing that happened to me. I recently lost my husband and he has helped me on my first appt with understanding, compassion and encouragement. It is really finding a good dr. That can be amazing help.

  7. Thank you for your courage. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son. It’s a great lie about psychiatric care, particularly in hospitals. I self admitted, believing I would get help for suicidal thoughts and a feeling of terror. The experience I had was much worse than anything I experienced in my 58 years on earth. I was unsafe at all times, particularly from my roommate, who stood over my bed at night glaring at me and was a foot taller than me and refused to speak to me. I was made fun of by psychiatric nurses (I have a speech impediment). The only help was a few of the other patients who I will never forget for helping me know where to sit and who not to make eye contact with. Also the art therapist who miraculously helped me get out after three days by talking to the hospital head psychiatrist. Who I told I would sue if I were assaulted and that I was unsafe. I don’t know how I was so lucky but he believed me about my roommate. It was hell. I would literally kill myself before ever returning to a psychiatric hospital in the United States.

    • I also self-committed due to suicidal ideation in 2016, and at the suggestion of a therapist. I saw the psychiatrist for less than 5 minutes my entire 8 days there. The rest of the time was seen by a smirking nurse practitioner, was housed with mostly detoxing addicts, no therapy except for some ping-pong and drawing. Staff were untrained, unprofessional orderlies that treated us like inmates.

      I wholeheartedly agree with your last sentence, at least here in Georgia! It was an horrific experience, more traumatic than therapeutic; you’re just held until you convince them it’s all good, say anything to get released.

  8. “She added that the limited budget didn’t allow for patients with different conditions and different needs to be separated into different facilities or wards. At least I had an answer; most of my questions about hospital conditions or treatments had been met with some variation of “If you question or resist, your stay in the hospital will be longer.””

    Yet these professionals and this paradigm of care are given tons of money, literally into the hundreds of billions. Meanwhile, the “patients” they disable, including children and into adulthood, are given a pittance in exchange for being socially exiled for the rest of their life. In any case, I’ve found no help from here or anywhere else either. No matter what I do, I’m fucked and alone and going to go broke and die in the near future.

    To hell with it. Sometimes death is better.

    • Hi JeffreyC,

      The world would be a much poorer place without you. I just went back and read through a bunch of your comments. You bring so much to just this website, and I am sure you bring even more to those around you in real life.

      I can definitely appreciate where you are coming from, though, as someone on Disability, I share with you a bleak financial future if I cannot somehow figure out how to earn a decent living, ideally doing work that I find meaningful and enjoy.

      I totally agree with you in some of your earlier comments about how a fair economic system would do so much to alleviate so many people’s problems. I also appreciate your thirst for justice for psych survivors.

      I am older than you are. When I was thirty-one and saw no hope, a priest told me in confession that there was a ray of hope. I still didn’t see any. After going through psychiatric drug and psychiatric incarceration Hell, and now as I am finally starting to come off psychiatric drugs, over a decade since he said that to me, I am finally beginning to feel a ray of hope. I don’t know that it will work out, but I haven’t felt hopeful for a very long time before now.

  9. Your courage and transparency are very inspiring. You are helping so many people by sharing your truth with such clarity. I was especially struck by this passage–

    “At the first meeting with the psychiatrist, she reviewed the facts of my case—I was 65, lived alone, had lost a son, and my other son lived 900 miles away. Given these four simple facts, she decided that I was suffering from textbook geriatric depression. She never asked me any questions about my life that might have revealed alternatives. She never learned that I was not suffering from irritability, apathy, withdrawal, or changes in appetite, which are among the most common on the checklist of “geriatric depression” symptoms. Nor did she learn that I’d been working at a job I loved, was in a long-term romantic relationship, and was the organizer of a very active women’s group.”

    This is why I say psychiatry is devoid of humanity, exactly this, which renders it not only useless but also incredibly dangerous. These clinical, academic minds are trained to categorize, project, and “other”–that is, to dehumanize. That is the learned habit from the training and education, it is EXPECTED. And, it is cold, like sub-zero. Heart and spirit and humility have nothing to do with this institution. That is a severe dissociation which is what leads to tragedy over and over again.

    Thank you for sharing the story of your heart and journey of your spirit with the world, where your light can shine, and your wisdom will lead others. That is healing for all concerned, the evolution of humanity through expanded consciousness–true change from the inside. Continued blessings and good healing to you.

  10. Hi Linda,

    Thanks for sharing.

    I unfortunately have had an extremely similar experience. In 2018 I was in California and went through some serious stress that lead me to some symptoms of mania. I visited my family in New York to get help, since my sister is a doctor. I wish I had stayed in California which has much stronger laws protecting patients from being committed. My sister is an anasthesiologist at Columbia / New York Presbyterian, so that’s where I voluntarily went thinking that I might be helped. I recognized that I had symptoms of mania (sleeping <2 hours a night, extreme racing thoughts) but I was aware enough of the problem to seek help.

    Unfortunately at Columbia and New York Presybterian I was force fed extreme doses of mood stabilizers and antipychotics that made me extremely sick. When I refused meds, I was physically assaulted (repeatedly punched in the face). My sister said she would never believe something like that would happen at her hospital if he hadn't witnessed it before her own eyes. My family contacted both the police and a lawyer, but the hospital refused to admit wrongdoing and refused to release the video tapes of the incidents. They said that I was acting unruly and their behavior was justified to control me. My face was badly bruised, but it did heal, and both the police and the lawyers said that while it was unfortunate, without the video tapes or evidence of permanent bodily harm, there wouldn't be enough of a case to make it worth pursuing as long as the facial bruising healed. Like you, even though what I'm saying is 100% the truth, it was cast as the word of "the crazy person" vs the doctors and medical establishment.

    The levels of meds they gave me made me extremely sick and nauseous. When I got back to California, a doctor tested my Lithium blood levels and found Columbia / New York Presbyterian had given me toxic levels of lithium. They were blood testing me every day so I have no idea why they felt the need to go overboard to the extent that they did. The antipsychotics were likewise cranked up to absurd doses, and I was basically told that I could either take the meds and attend "groups" and leave in a few weeks, or I could contact a lawyer to get out, which would take even longer to get through all the court proceedings and would once again be the crazy person vs the medical establishment. So if I wanted to actually leave I had to comply with their excessive medication and control. Like you I was trapped in a small windowless area with no exercise. It was basically prison. It's true that I was in a bad mental state and I needed help but the cure was far worse than the disease.

    Of course, I paid many thousands of dollar in deductibles for the experience. It was a nightmare. I'm still angry about the experience but there's not much I can do about it so I try my best to move on. Despite me being cast as crazy for the sin of seeking help, I am mostly a fully adjusted functional member of society. I appreciate you sharing your experience as it reflects mine and it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do about the field of psychiatry in America.

  11. 2 points jump right out for me. The “hospital” is never IDENTIFIED. (You call it a “hospital”, but it’s design and function is that of a JAIL, or PRISON.) What’s the name, location, etc? Is it public or private? For-profit or non-profit?
    These facts are vital to full understanding, and their omission is a serious flaw in an otherwise excellent narrative.
    Also, logically and rationally, your son died either because of, or else in spite of, the “treatment” he received. It’s possible that it was BOTH, but it is NOT possible that it was neither. Therefore, AT MOST, the treatment failed to help, and might have actually caused his death. So we have a prison disguised as a hospital, and healthcare which kills. That’s why the TRUTH is that
    “Psychiatry is a genocidal pseudoscience, a drug racket, and a mechanism of social control. It’s 21st Century Phrenology, with potent neuro-toxins. Psychiatry has done, and continues to do, FAR MORE HARM THAN GOOD.”….and here we have more proof of that….

  12. While I can only speak to my own experiences, I can again say, I’m finding that my experiences didn’t vary much between one another in terms of the abuse and they appear to be the norm, at least among folks posting here.

    My last “incarceration” (and believe me, it will be my last one)…for the crime of being overwhelmed and trusting that a “help line” clinical social worker would actually be helpful, I was met by police at my place of employment, put in handcuffs and taken to a facility for “assessment”. I waited to see the psychiatrist for almost 24 hours – no food, no bed, no phone. The psychiatrist saw me for 5 minutes to determine whether or not I needed further observation (a decision that I confirmed was made before he even met me). I was then taken (in handcuffs once more) to a facility 100 miles away from my home where I waited 2 days to see another psychiatrist. I was kept there for 6 days with no change of clothing (I was offered a gown), and no phone. The stories from my stay there straddle the line between horrifying and deeply funny (depending on your sense of humor).

    I agree with Boans – go ahead and throw the baby out with the bath water. The bath water is contaminated and the baby has already drowned.

    • Thanks Sleep in the Stars.

      you write

      “for the crime of being overwhelmed and trusting that a “help line” clinical social worker would actually be helpful, I was met by police at my place of employment, put in handcuffs and taken to a facility for “assessment”.”

      I see you had “potential for damage to reputation and meaningful relationships” that required you to be taken into custody in front of your significant others too. Imagine having to do damage to reputation and meaningful relationships to avoid the potential. (my potential was avoided by dragging me out of my bed, and having me “assessed” out the front of my home with car loads of public officers and police who had parked on my in laws garden. I asked for a ‘receipt’ from the person having me detained by police and was given a “with compliments” slip from my kidnapper given that he couldn’t provide me with a copy of his fraudulent statutory declaration used to justify his criminal actions. I might have noticed he had traveled through time and space to make his observations. Imagine that people are being incarcerated and force drugged based on hearsay. Wouldn’t police love to be able to do that, all the problems with gathering evidence solved.

      Still it really matters very little anymore. My State is torturing and then killing anyone who complains. And who am I to change that.The silent majority that voted for Euthanasia (though they never showed us the data, just stated a 85% of people want it) obviously want the State to be allowed to torture too.

      What confuses me is that someone spotted what they were going to do to me, and interupted the process before I was killed. Why? I will never understand why they stopped them before they killed me, and not after. To be cruel and subject me to further torture? I haven’t seen my family for 9 years, not a chance I will ever work again, not a speck of my property I have access to (not even my documents such as birth certificate or passport, family photos etc). I was told by a public officer they would fuking destroy me, but why not let them just kill me? I mean they were responsible for a number of deaths AFTER my unintended negative outcome was interrupted, so they didn’t interrupt to stop the killers. They went on to do more……. and maybe I will never know why our police and politicians refuse to take my witness statement regarding how they are doing these killings. What they don’t know can’t hurt them I suppose. Or would their negligence hurt them? The fact that they were warned about the torture and killings and did nothing until the proof was dropped on a Member of Parliaments desk. It was fascinating to watch them scatter at that point.

      So I think about those killed after me and wonder if it was them who got the best part of the deal. Because the people who have a duty to act on these crimes don’t wish to do anything other than continue to utter with the fraud set up by the hospital after their “formal investigation” (that produced one document, a letter to me rewriting my complaint to a question they wished to answer. I allege I was tortured and they say, donuts for lunch).

      Still, as long as they are prepared to ‘all be in it together’ what is the public going to be able to do? Doctors using the Emergency Dept as their own personal slaughterhouse? Who wouldn’t want that option available to them for all that hard work done by ghost writers for their University degrees? Mummy didn’t pay to get me into a good college for nothing.

      What Boans knows. The doctor who came at me with the needle on the 2nd of Jan 2012 who I believe was going to ‘hotshot’ me, and was snatched away at the very last minute……. was promoted to head of the doctors union. I was evicted from my home in the clothes I stood in and pursued to retrieve the documents I took with me. I managed to hide them before police could check on my “welfare”. Fraudulent documents were then sent to the Mental Health Law Centre that concealed the methods used to obtain a referral (ie conspire to stupefy and commit an indictable offence, namely kidnapping). Lawyers did eventually send a complaint to the Chief Psychiatrist who responded with a letter the lawyers didn’t have time to read, but were prepared to hand over to me. This letter contains some of the most bizarre claims I have witnessed in all my years working as a public officer (though I believe it is what is known a s a poison pen letter designed to gaslight the victim of public sector corruption and have them kill themselves)

      I wonder if in the event of my death MiA might consider publishing that letter (and the complaint from the Law Centre) to give others an understanding of the standard of psychiatric care in my State and the “protections” afforded the public by the person charged with that duty. It is positively offensive, and basically says ‘I don’t know, not going to ask and fuk off we’ll do what we want despite it being criminal’. I have of course distributed it to many others though they have their families safety to think about. I feel sure that American citizens would not fear repercussions by the Australian government against their own citizens. While my own government seems happy to allow the Australian government to torture their citizens, I know Canada (and I assume the US) do seem to have an interest in what is done to their people, and would no doubt ACT on proven acts of torture.

      Definitely the baby is dead, has been for some time now, and the pea soup that is in the bath stinks and should be removed immediately. Or if we must look at reform, maybe we can put what is left into a jar and store it with Walt Disneys head in the cryogenics tank? Ay least the stink will eventually dissipate, and some future generation can take it out and thaw it?

      • Keep in mind that (a) the Mental Health Law Centre was provided with a set of documents that removed both the proof of the ‘spiking’ with benzos, and the involvement of the police to obtain a referral under s. 195 of the MHA.

        Procuring being a crime, and calling police for assistance with a “patient” you knew wasn’t a “patient” is a serious offence. I had a job once where I got free pizzas, why shouldn’t a Community Nurse get to do a few kidnappings as a benefit of the psotion?

        Also keep in mind when I speak about the doctor being promoted, that was up until I showed the two sets of documents to a politician. Not sure what happened to him after that, though I am guessing that as a result of the “Targeted Review of Emergency Dept Admissions” and the number of unintended negative outcomes that exposed, that he (along with the psychologist who conspired with my wife, and her psychiatrist husband) all left the State. Who tipped them off is another question i’d like answered, though given the way police have been assisting these criminals I don’t think i’ll ever get the facts of that matter either.

        Whats a few killings between friends anyway. I mean get a stomach Doc. It’s tough at the top.

        I am of course not discounting the possibility of my governments policy of killing the people they torture being ‘worlds best practice’. As someone who has been subjected to their torture, it may actually have been better that they snuffed me, rather than subject me to a slow painful death and fuking destruction for complaining. And thus the destruction of all my personal family ties and friendships would at least save the people who loved and cared about me from watching while they are doing it. There’s perhaps a glimpse of their humanity. Cost benefits? Much more to be made from a corrupt psychiatrist and his psychologist wife who are sidetracking people into a ‘medical snare’ (of ECTs) Check the numbers folk. Get rich quick scheme. 7 weeks full time of ‘therapy’ or a few sessions with the wall socket (6 hours as opposed to 7 weeks?). Kill Boans and tell his family it was the chemicals that got imbalanced that made him think he was tortured. they’ll believe it, what choice do they have, they’ll do them too. And not a soul prepared to even look at the documents. Why would that be I wonder?

        • Consider, the person who ensures that abuses by psychiatrists are identified and acted upon is the Chief Psychiatrist.

          The Mental Health Law Centre sends a complaint to him regarding my ‘detention’ and ‘referral’. The file/documents show that a number of serious offences have occurred including the torture and kidnapping of a citizen, which has been concealed using what can be termed ‘trick cycling’. Get police to do your dirty work (procure and kidnap for you) and anyone complains use them as a foil to conceal your criminal conduct. The Community Nurse created the appearance for his colleagues that he had received a referral from police, when what he had done was lie to police and claim he needed assistance with a “patient” knowing i had been ‘spiked’ and would have items planted on me when he called and said they were on their way to jump me in my bed. s. 68 (e) – s. 195 – = lawful police referral. ‘Verbal’ the target up (Form 1) and have police do the kidnapping on a Form 3 transport order.

          The hospital investigates because they have lawyers requesting the documents, and they can’t send them a letter with the documents asking they engage in a criminal conspiracy to conceal the torture and kidnapping, so they send a fraudulent set, and have police retrieve the ones I have.

          The lawyers send a complaint based on the “edited” set of documents they have been provided and complain about not being given access to unredacted documents (that is the method of ensuring that human rights are not being abused).

          The Chief Psychiatrist then sends a reply with the belief that the documents have been retrieved and that he has examined the file and finds nothing to see. In fact he doesn’t even know what a burden of proof is and is enabling arbitrary detentions and the use of the corrupt practice of ‘verballing’ on statutory declarations. Asked about why the lawyers were provided with “edited” documents he says the documents were requested under FOI Act and thus could be “edited”. This despite the three letters included in the complaint which were headed APPLICATION FOR DOCUMENTS UNDER THE MHA, and the first line of the application stating THIS IS NOT AN APPLICATION UNDER THE FOI ACT. Bizarre? And I wouldn’t want someone who examines such letters and then makes the statement that he was “under the impression the documents were requested under the FOI Act” dealing with such important matters when such obvious evidence can be overlooked.

          Of course with the documents retrieved he was free to write such rubbish, because no one was ever going to know that I was tortured and kidnapped apart from him and the people who concealed that from my legal representatives. Unless …….. I turn up 2 years later in a police station with the documented proof of torture and kidnapping.

          Now consider, he has acted as if no one was ever going to know that he has viewed the documents and that the crimes he has seen would ever be known about. Lets just keep slandering Boans and fuking destroy him. But now I have police threatening to arrest me for having my own medical records that show what the Chief Psychiatrist had access to when he wrote his response to the Law Centre (ignored by them and handed on to me, a poison pen letter aimed to do psychological harm and have me commit suicide).

          So what happens now we have the documents the Chief Psychiatrist had access to showing the torture and kidnapping? And the response that was made with the belief that the documents had been retrieved by police, and that the cover up had been semi successful (the killing obviously a failure). It shows exactly how the authorities respond to legitimate complaints, and there are some serious concerns for the whole community, because they don’t like being caught out kidnapping and torturing, though they are doing it.

          Its an interesting set of documents that show how these abuses are rampant, but also how nothing ever gets done about the abuses. I say nothing, these people had to work very hard to conceal the torture and kidnapping, and it involved a lot of ‘hands off’ stuff by police (you take out a VRO, and we can then detain him while you get the documents back form his property, and then cancel the VRO before he gets the chance to respond to it in court). Getting my wife and others to commit offences that they would then ensure were not prosecuted. Just doing their job I suppose snatching a citizen from their bed and delivering them to a hospital for ‘treatment’ for an illness I didn’t have with drugs that would have made me very ill I am told by someone qualified to speak about such matters.

          So what do they do now the game is up? Ignore me, and threaten anyone who offers me any assistance. as you would when you can not be held to account for serious criminal conduct. Police can’t find their copy of the Criminal Code they tell me so ….. off they go.

          Personally I got the impression from the Convention against the use of Torture that there were “no emergency provisions” and “no superior authority” meaning that the Chief Psychiatrist doesn’t get to cover up known acts of torture. However, given he can rewrite our law (see the letter of response) and his argument from authority is accepted by the Corruption and Crime Commission (yes they were informed of these actions and went along assuming the cover up had been sucessful) I suppose the Convention and any Human Rights agreements mean nothing. Just conceal the evidence and fuking destroy the victims.

          And now? The Minister continues to slander me for attempting to bring this to his attention, because police simply refuse to take the documented proof of the fact that they were witnesses to my torture and kidnapping. Whether they were active participants or passive stooges only they know. And like the hospital I am certain that any documents they would provide under FOI would be “edited” so whats the point of making application. The law is an Ass where these people are concerned. Our Prime Minister stating that Australians are a people who value a Rule of Law? He should take a look at these people and eat those words.

          With a mechanism like this to conceal human rights abuses? And I have the proof of how it is being done. Negligence, fraud and slander. And the person charged with the protection of “consumers, carers and the community” simply ensures that the evidence of wrongdoing has been concealed (even if that requires misconduct) and then ensures the victim is fuking destroyed.

          I guess at the end of the day when the people who are supposed to be protecting us from criminals, get together with the criminals and start working together we shouldn’t be surprised by any of the horror stories we hear coming out of these places of torture. The assumption being that the people being subjected to the abuses deserve it (they must have done something right?) Well, yes I did say I was going to leave my wife as a result of her family threatening me. And the hospital Operations Manager who did the cover up told me that “we were trying to save your marriage”. Such a noble cause how could I dare to complain about them torturing and kidnapping me to find out if I was insane or if I was of sound mind and therefore permitted to leave my wife. I had no idea they got involved in such matters, I do now, though a little late as I had to be fuking destroyed as a result of their noble cause. Personally I think it was an excuse made up after the event to try and conceal their conduct. Such good people and he is making all that noise about being snatched out of his bed and locked in a cage and interrogated whilst stupefied without his knowledge. Can I put this ‘treatment’ on my credit card, or does Medicare cover it?

          They provide such a service in the US? A marriage councelling service if you drug your partner and plant items for police to find? Locked in a cage and tortured for 7 hours because someone wants it done? They do here. And the protections of the law are actually pretty good, its the people responsible for enforcing them that are the problem.

          • “We were trying to save your marriage”

            Talk about having a hammer and the whole world becomes a nail. Because as I have pointed out elsewhere this Community Nurse knew I wasn’t a “patient” but obviously thinks that if someone calls the hospital and has drugged someone into unconsciousness, that someone needs to be locked in a cage and force drugged.

            Now let me say this that there is a reason for the existence of the Mental Health Act, and I have been through it a few times and I can’t find the bit where it says that the powers afforded Authorized Mental Health Practitioners is to be used to “save marriages”. There are some “exclusions” and yes, I get it your can’t write down your locking someone up and force drugging them because they’re black, you have to make it sound like it’s because they have an illness. But that’s easily achieved, and the documents I have are a great example of how to achieve that through he corrupt practice of ‘verballing’.

            And I suppose I have to cut him some slack as it may have been a Folie a duex, though his role is not to give diagnosis, but to deal mainly with the hospital “outpatients” and do the odd police referral assessment. So why did police refer? I was asleep. That’s it, that’s considered “reasonable grounds to suspect that a person is suffering from a mental illness”. That’s your protection from being snatched out of your bed and delivered to a hospital for an examination by a psychiatrist. Police found you in your bed asleep. Now of course in my instance they didn’t find the knife that had been planted on me, though they have said they did. Odd lie here and there, no harm comes of it right? Well, few people have done life sentences for it but …. not the liar 🙂

            And dispatching police resources because they have a Community Nurse on the line requesting their assistance in “saving a marriage” has them responding like the heroes they are. I mean at first the documents show that Boans “tried to sort it out with the family but the family took nephews side” and started threatening me. Risk? well, not really so on the next document we read under personal observations “thoughts of harming others”. Now as I explained o this Community Nurse yes I had a disagreement with the nephew, and it did get heated, but I said “your three weeks too late, that was weeks back and I have no intention of harming the nephew”. So how did he observe my thoughts by travelling back in time? And why did other become others?

            Because he was desperate to save my marriage by showing me that if I dared say to my wife that I was leaving, she could then call him and he would have police come round and take me to the hospital and drug fuk me till I changed my mind. I can see how that might work. Use the resources of police and mental health services as your own personal thugs to have your will imposed on your partner, and save your marriage. And of course if I were to complain about domestic abuse? The assaults? Drugged, tried to stab me in the chest with a large carving knife. Well, in the process of saving my marriage the Community Nurse tends to make those matters disappear. the drugging well that sort of lasted until he made me into the perpetrator with his changing of narrative. And the confirmed attempt to plunge a knife into my chest when I said I was leaving? Not even worthy of a mention, though it did get quite a reaction form those present when it was confirmed by my wife.

            Funny how easily words can change narrative and justify any action you wish to take. Lucky this guy can’t just knock on anyone’s door and snatch them, oh wait, if he tells police your a “patient” they then flag you and now you are.

            Save my marriage, what a crock. That became the justification for concealing the ‘spiking’ from me, which of course is also a serious criminal offence, conspire to pervert the course of justice, conceal evidence of a criminal offence. In for a penny, get the proof back and kill him, quick coz police aren’t going to be able to neglect their duty forever, and for now they still think he is a “patient”, so we can do whatever we want to bait him and hopefully they will shoot him for us.

            These people disgust me, but it’s those who have looked the other way, and then the likes of the current Minister who is actively slandering me that make me feel sick to the stomach. Complaining about this conduct is an illness according to him. That in a ‘democracy’? He is after all infallible, omnipotent, and never wrong. He simply ignores the truth and replaces it with his preferred version of it. Hopefully he will be replaced with a version of someone who has honor and integrity at the next election, because they are traits he is obviously lacking.

    • I love this! SITS

      “My last “incarceration” (and believe me, it will be my last one)”
      “I agree with Boans – go ahead and throw the baby out with the bath water. The bath water is contaminated and the baby has already drowned.”

      “Psychiatry is the bath water. There are a lot of babies drowning in it.”

      Had to requote.

  13. Linda Comac, Steve McCrea, Snowy Owl, basically everyone who posted on here: this is a new experience for me. I’ve not talked much about my experience. Actually I don’t talk about it at all. So thankful that I found this. I think the medications are harmful. My younger sister is so heavily medicated that she is basically gone and unknowable to me, and after 30 plus years of psychiatric treatment, far sicker and more cognitively disabled than she ever was in her twenties. She claims to have both schizophrenia and Parkinson’s, both of which I believe were caused by the myriad antipsychotics and neuroleptics she’s taken. I’m trying to taper off the benzodiazepines, seroquel, and topamax slowly and safely. I don’t think they have helped me. What has helped? Nature, eating right, kindness towards myself, gentle exercise, reading this, and reading certain books like The Black Swan and the Untethered Soul, but everybody is different! I just wanted to say thank you so much. It’s amazing to read this, because I have felt very alone. I felt very bullied by psychiatric help. Sadly, it’s not the answer people think it is.

    • @Gardeningwithcats:

      Thank you for posting! It does feel alone sometimes. I think things are going to change. Why?
      I don’t know why. I know it’s not going to happen as fast as we want it to. But it’s going to happen
      sooner than we expect.

      I think it’s going to be one of those ideas that, when it’s the right time, will catch like wildfire. Right now, psychiatry seems to have pervaded the world–it does seem hopeless at times. I don’t mean to compare this with COVID-19, except to say, the world basically changed *overnight.*

      I think it’s going to be a change like that…slow moving at first…the lies of psychiatry exposed, but then it will gain momentum…and the people who are posting on this site will be the majority….

      I also think the ones that are going to fight us the hardest are the brainwashed survivors who are not ready to face that they have been betrayed. Some will never admit it. But, slowly, over time, as people realize that they have been lied to, their lives destroyed for *nothing,* and they become the critical mass, Psychiatry will not be able to contain us any longer.

      I like the name “Gardening with Cats.” How many cats do you have? My post name refers to Native American medicine. The snowy owl is what came to me in a meditation. That particular owl can see straight through to the “other side” of the soul: all dark & light. Nothing can be hidden from that owl, specifically that one. Perfect for Psychiatry, which tries to hide. The owl came *to me,* it wasn’t the other way around.

      According to my mentor in Native American medicine, a soul has 7 layers of totem animals. What are your cats like?

      • Snowy Owl, I love owls. One of my cats looks a little like an owl. I’m also interested in Native American tradition and natural medicines. I have five cats! They were all strays, mostly from one neighbor who I guess couldn’t be bothered to get their cats fixed, and loved having kittens but didn’t care about full grown cats. But I love them all, especially the one who was a mama cat. She sometimes seems to be meditating, she looks at me with a softness and seems to say, “go in, you can be free.” And I believe in Freedom, meaning not enslavement to drugs that make you twitch and take away your brain cells… and Freedom from the fear of what could happen if I were to ever trust psychiatric care again. But I remember even drawing an owl in my journal some time ago, as the owl is also a symbol of Lilith, who was given a bad reputation in some Christian traditions, but in ancient Sumerian teachings, was a wise and all-seeing guide, very much like the Native American Snowy Owl you told me of! I hope you are right, I get so frustrated when the story goes: he/she stopped taking their medication. Ugh. Maybe they went off it too abruptly. Maybe the medication caused or worsened the pain this person was in. It’s not only possible but it’s likely. So nice to meet you, Snowy Owl. I feel encouraged to hear your theory! Maybe, like the flimsy house of cards that it is, this psychiatric care farce will come tumbling down abruptly. Blessed be.

    • Gardening.
      It’s awesome that you can talk about it. Abuse is something that hides, through the victims often feeling as if they were rightfully abused. This happens because if we know we are not perfect, then it must follow that what happened was deserving. It’s how psychiatry operates, latching onto people’s vulnerabilities.
      Glad to see you here

  14. Apologies for the broken messages.

    I guess that what I have is a glimpse behind the curtain of what happens when someone is subjected to torture and kidnapped by my State. That has come about as a result of forces beyond my control. Why I have been left to live eludes me, because it is patently apparent that anyone who is subjected to human rights abuses by our mental health system will be “fuking destroyed” with the full support of the State. Not like I can refuse to pay taxes for that viciousness, and whats the point of having the power to do that if your not going to exercise your right?

    But, here’s my main point. It says in my Book that people who would conceal the truth with falsehoods are evil people. And these acts of negligence, fraud and slander are not ‘isolated incidents’, as stated above these people are organised. And yes, they will get away with their abusing of human rights for some time due to the hypocrisy of those claiming to be advocates who turn and run at the first sign of trouble. One sees this in basic military training, take the money, wear the uniform and then turn and run when it’s time to fight.

    Now what I would suggest is that 9 years is enough time to sort this out. I was tortured and kidnapped, and when I complained about that public officers did certain things to try and conceal those facts. They sent fraudulent documents to my legal representatives and then attempted to overdose me in the Emergency Dept. Funny, but that is actually lawful due to the need to ‘dispatch’ certain ‘cases’, and thus nothing can be done if doctor decides he wishes to get rid of a few, police will need to look the other way while he does. But, they failed to retrieve the documented proof of the kidnapping and torture, and as a result of the interference of someone failed to overdose me.

    And what was a bit of mischief by a Community Nurse doing a favor for a couple of little ladies turned to shit, and they have been trying to cover the stink ever since. Sure, i’m the one that’s been ‘bronzed’ with their shit, and I get it why you all have left me for dead.

    Like the psychologist who spent the time finding out the facts from me, only later to have to tell me “it never happened” due to threats by police to remain silent and find out “who else has the documents”…….. he would have known what they were trying to do, a further covering up of their torturing and kidnapping of citizens for organised criminals, and he ended up with a pants load. Not cut out for work in the locked wards ….. yet. But Zimbardo explained how to create the environment where that can occur fairly quickly, the Lucifer Effect. It needs to be a gradual introduction, a slow leading astray.

    It’s all there. My State government is simply ignoring the truth now, despite them being fully aware that they have been enabling torture and kidnapping. Living in the hope that no one looks and that threats, intimidation and coercive methods employed by police will see time pass and the old excuse of “oh it was so long ago now, what are you still upset about”. I’m sure it was all an accident blah blah blah. Funny how people make up excuses for these people. I even heard a psychiatrist of all people (who I would expect to be open to possibilities) say “they wouldn’t do that”. My response was, “they did that, but you just chose not to look”.

    In some ways I’m glad my time over the past 9 years has been totally wasted. I’d hate to think I had contributed anything to a community that would torture, kidnap, maim and kill people and disguise it as medicine. I realise that I would have enjoyed the company of Hermann Goerring (such great taste in art) but I didn’t agree much with his political beliefs, and would not have assisted him is the promotion of them. Glad I haven’t assisted my government in the promotion of theirs. I can live with my conscience without the needs for drugs, can they?

    Just another day firing the ovens, and just doing their jobs I suppose. And as long as they keep it as whispers in dark places and deny the right to respond to slander, they will continue with their vile conduct unchecked. They must know something you don’t right? People who would commit acts of fraud the likes of which was done with me are not to be trusted when they say “trust us”. Trust in haste regret at Leisure lol Fortunate that advocates can be bought off, threatened, and have fraud provided to them by the State to conceal their human rights abuses. In fact police tell me you can be arrested for having the proof of the State committing acts of torture, what the offence is even our Attorney General can’t say (nor can he say who accepts complaints regarding torture because no one gets past the refoulment stage apparently) but, i’m sure they can ‘plant’ something and make some stuff up. As they have done on so m any occasions here, though it’s usually after the person has served 12 years that we find out, our justice system totally perverted by corruption

    • What I find most bizarre about all this?

      As police were running around trying to find out who had the documents etc, threatening people and … a whole bunch of slippery and corrupt actions, I went and showed the two sets of documents to a Member of Parliament. He sat and listened to me for an hour and a half, and I explained to him what had happened and why the documents were fraudulent and how only someone who new what crimes had occurred would know how to tamper with the evidence. he was very concerned about his relationship with police. However, he thanked me and shook my hand and said “I will open some doors for you”.

      It was at that point that some things happened really fast. Point being that at that point I only had redacted documents that concealed the involvement of police. I wrote to the hospital and told them that I had been denied the documents I had a right to and they were then provided, no arguing this time, no obstruction …… just like that. they handed them over, underacted, showing all of the offences.

      So now I have everything I need to sue the pants off these people, the doors have been opened, and as a result of the threats and intimidation I can’t get anyone to help me lol. They have been forced into stopping their vicious and nasty conduct as a result of ‘word from above’, and I can’t get anyone to help me waaahahahahaha. the door is open and no one will step through. It’s like Kafka, or Dr Strangelove. The obstruction would allow an exemption to bring action due to the delay in the provision of the documents.

      To be honest I just want my stuff back so I can leave. I kind of agree with the use of torture now. I think there are grounds for a number of these people to be subjected to waterboarding in conjunction with ECTs to obtain a confession. I’m now as bad as them 🙂 Of course i’m kidding, I could never do what was done to me. I’ve had friends who were ‘spiked’ and I saw the damage it did to their lives.

      So there ya go eh? Even when I get given a break, I can’t take it. I mean i’d like to have got my documents back so I could have worked somewhere else, coz i’ll never pay tax in this State again. I know what they are using it for, the fuking destruction of citizens by slag public officers. For police to engage in criminal conduct with organised criminals operating in our hospitals, and perverting and obstructing justice to conceal their conduct.

      Absolutely bizarre. Anyway, I thank the M.P. for being a man of honor and integrity, despite him being in a position where he could have done the wrong thing and probably got away with it, he chose to do the right thing. He is a rare one indeed, and no doubt will be rewarded for that. Shame it went that far before he became involved, and opened that door. Truth be out and let the cards fall where they may.

      “Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy… the FEAR to attack.” (Dr Strangelove) This fear has been produced in legal representatives and thus I can not bring action against these people despite having everything I need to demonstrate their negligence in court (though I doubt they would ever want that to occur). The Q.C. obviously wanted the big ‘scalps’, and has them hanging in his office now. I just want my stuff, and let me leave. These people disgust me.

      The lawyers I had approached had rang the Mental Health Law Centre and thus had been given the slander they had set up with the hospital. One lawyer who said to me “but I thought you were mad, but you’ve got the documents” obviously figured out that they were slandering because I had the proof of the spiking and was not delusional. Still, they went along with what they were told to do rather than represent their client (nothing like paying to be stabbed in the back huh?). Problem now is that these people are embarrassed about being lied to and assisting in kicking me while I was down. Come on, a divorce lawyer charging someone she calls a nut $3500 for telling him how expensive her time is? It was so cold here the other morning I saw her with her hands in her own pockets.

      I’d really like a lawyer who would actually represent MY interests. Sell the house and the money is there. Win, lose or draw, they would get paid. But I want a pit bull, not one of these sniveling cowards I have met to date. And I have kept very good records of matters, stuff that even the police find it better that they don’t know lol

      I guess you guys will never get the opportunity to put proof of torture and kidnapping in front of a Senior Constable, and then explain to him that as a result of the conspiracy to kidap that the psychologists husband ( a psychiatrist) had attempted to kill you. They of course would have a record of events, though were of the belief I was “patient”. Must admit that the last thing I would hear from a copper having an attempted murder put in front of him were the words “It might be best I don’t know about that”. [bad enough being threatened with arrest for having the proof of the ‘spiking’] Your right Senior Constable, it might be best you don’t, because your exit interview from the force is going to involve an ‘assessment’ by a psychiatrist, and let me say the memory wipe can be a little brutal. Lets hope you don’t end up being one of those people you call window lickers.

    • Garth Daniels. Been a few years since we’ve heard an update on his story. Australian shrinks were in process of killing him with neuro-toxins and Electro-Cution Torture, so-called “ECT”…. He had some help fighting back against the system. Maybe you’d find more on local AU media….

  15. June, you just made me cry! I have no idea how I missed this writing from 6 months ago. THANK YOU for writing this! I cried because it was such a relief to feel understood – by a mother, specifically. I personally do not believe anything is a coincidence. Although the grief of losing a child is by far the most intense a person can face, and I have not met you, your (awful) experience absolutely smacks of a “message” from the other side. I’ve heard too many stories to not suspect something like that. You wouldn’t believe how many moms don’t care; and how many moms, like mine, welcome these drugs into their child’s life just to get them to shut up. Your decision to try to join your son sounds, to me, “understandable,” for lack of a better word. I hope that is not offensive; it’s just such a burden that feels (often is) impossible to bear. But I’m not your own family, so I should just focus on Thank You. You had more control than many people in that situation and you used it well in writing your book, in my opinion. So I guess thank you, Alan, for helping me find what I needed. God knows psychiatry does not. Thank you for your contribution to MIA and your book Linda – I look forward to reading it. I send you my love, both of you <3