Up in the Air: Surviving 24 Hours with Akathisia

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Dateline: Anchorage, Alaska: August 24, 2015.

I woke in terror.  Actually, at that point I was always waking in terror, but this day was worse because I was anticipating it being extra challenging.   I would have to accept an impossible mission.  My orders? Catch a red-eye from Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport to Chicago O’Hare, change planes, and then fly to Cleveland, Ohio.  As the kid of a former travel executive, I had flown hundreds of times.  Why was this mission going to be any different?  Well, this time I would have to pull it off while suffering from life-threatening akathisia.

But first, what is akathisia?   Its current clinical definition cites it as an extrapyramidal symptom (EPS) or movement disorder.  Other EPS symptoms include tardive dyskinesia, dystonia, parkinsonism, bradykinesia and tremor.  Akathisia is characterized by an intense, internal sensation of restlessness and agitation that spurs the sufferer to be in constant motion.   It is a grossly underdiagnosed and understudied neuropsychiatric symptom, most often resulting from exposure to and withdrawal from psychiatric drugs.

For perspective, rewind 25 years.  I was working at the University of Miami’s School of Psychiatry, running a hospital-based program for children and adolescents deemed to be severely emotionally disturbed.  Every week, I would take part in a supervisory group at their teaching hospital, attend psychiatric grand rounds, and sit in with the head of the department for group supervision with psychiatric fellows, psychology residents, social workers, and nurses.

Additionally, I taught multiple semesters of psychopathology to master’s-level students, provided clinical supervision to over 30 MSW-level clinicians, presented papers at national and international conferences, and maintained a successful private therapy practice.  My point is, I worked with some very competent, compassionate doctors in a variety of settings, taught students how to diagnose disorders, and worked face-to-face with hundreds of clients over the years.  In all that time, no one ever mentioned to be on the lookout for akathisia or even once uttered the word.

My personal experience with akathisia had started the year prior, following an ill-fated decision to trust a negligent medical detox center with my health. The “treatment” there consisted of an abrupt discontinuation of 1.25 mg of daily Klonopin, the equivalent of 25mg of Valium.  I would discover later – too late – the benzodiazepine guidelines recommend that I should have been advised to taper slowly over months or years, depending on tolerability, on an outpatient basis.

I was never addicted to Klonopin. I had only become dependent from as-prescribed use to help me sleep.  Once home after the “detox,” the gates of Hell began to open.  The pacing I had experienced before the detox only worsened.   Instead of a few hours of akathisia a day, it morphed into a daily marathon of 10 to 14 hours of pacing — often starting at 4:30 a.m. and stretching into the evening.

This created a level of restlessness and agitation I had previously never experienced.  Agitated and anxious people often report feeling “plugged into a socket.”  Well, this felt more like being plugged into a nuclear power plant.  My nervous system felt like it had been super-charged with electricity and then doused in flames as the glutamate storms surged through my being.   I paced in circles in a 10 x 10 room, barefoot because socks felt restrictive, my calves aching and feet covered in open, bloody sores.  Every moment marked a white-knuckle battle to resist suicide – the urge to seek the ultimate, sweet release from my suffering.

A good analogy for this daily torment comes from Greek mythology and the legend of Prometheus.  For the theft of fire, Prometheus was sentenced by Zeus to eternal torture.   He was chained to a rock, and every day an eagle, sent by Zeus, would eat Prometheus’ liver.  The liver would grow back each day, endlessly repeating the cycle.   Fortunately for Prometheus, the hero Heracles eventually rescued him.  That day as I headed to the airport, I secretly prayed that Heracles was piloting the plane and would be taking me away from this agony and towards somewhere better.

I had to get to Cleveland for the social support I needed to survive.  I had lost almost everyone and everything at that point but had found one great friend who’d offered to help.  But here was the rub!  Is there a more cramped space on earth where the social mores are more strictly enforced than on an airplane?  In the post 9-11 world, there’s really no way for fellow-travelers and flight attendants to “ignore the frantic pacing guy” over there.  I also feared, if the plane had to make an emergency landing because of me, becoming “Mr. February” in the calendar of men most likely to end up hospitalized in a Canadian psych ward.  The voyage, I realized, was going to be a constant push-pull between giving in to the urge to freak out and the death grip I’d need to maintain on my body and psyche in order not to scare the other passengers.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” I thought as I woke panicked that morning.  I wondered how on earth was I going to pull this off.  Fortunately, with the time difference, my team of support people spread around the country were “at the ready” to talk me through this.  I had already canceled two weeks’ worth of flights prior out of sheer terror.  At that point, even showering was difficult — how was I going to act normal for a whole day?   Somehow, I managed to get through check-in, screening and boarding without incident, giving me a false sense of optimism.

I got to my seat, fastened my seatbelt, and started chanting like the Little Engine That Could, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”  Then it hit — bam — “Holy hell, I am trapped in this tube for the next eight hours, and more importantly, strapped to this seat, locked into somehow manifesting normal behavior.”    I quickly realized that any weird movement or utterance could draw the ire of another passenger or the flight crew.  The immediate flush of increased agitation upon these realizations was immeasurable — it could have heated a small home throughout the winter, it was that combustible.  This is the constant fulcrum in akathisia: the tenuous balance between the inner raging agitation and managing its outer expression.

The passenger door closed.  I unhooked my seat belt and ran to the back of the plane.  I blurted to a flight attendant, “Stewardess, stewardess, I need to get off of the plane immediately.”  While she called the cockpit, I was overcome with confusion, terror, and indecision.  The song, “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash could have been the soundtrack of this conundrum.  “How can I do this, I have to do this, I can’t do this, I must do this.”  I had become Me, Myself and Irene.

I return to my seat and began squirming like a fish out of water as I dug my nails in my arm so deep I drew blood, seeking as best I could to contain the agitation.  When that didn’t help, I pulled out my computer for distraction.  “OK, Chris, once in the air, you will be reconnected to your iatrogenic injury umbilical cord of people who support you.”   No internet signal.

“Excuse me, miss, how do I get the inflight internet?” I asked a flight attendant.

“Oh, this plane isn’t retrofitted for WIFI,” she replied.

Immediate terror ensued, and I air-launched out of my seat, untethered to my network of reason and comfort – back to the rear of the plane to commence frantic pacing.

Once in the back galley, I further tried to explain my “condition” to the flight attendants.  As sufferers of akathisia have realized, even most psychiatrists and neurologists know little about the condition, so expecting a layman to get it right off the bat would have been a reach.  Fortunately, they were wonderfully compassionate, if not confused by this ever-moving target filling their work area with toxic frantic movement and pressured speech.  At one point one of them looked at me with sincere worry and uttered, “Clearly your meds are not working.”

I spent the entire flight pacing while constantly looking at the exit door, wondering if it might be better to just rip it open and jump.  Nope, that would have broken the Dexter code: No innocents get injured.  Finally, the pilot turned the “seatbelts on” light on to mark the beginning of our descent.    While this should have been a relief, instead it only increased the panic.  I’d need to be belted in for the next 20 minutes, plus 10 minutes of taxiing to the gate.  I returned to my seat and buckled my seat belt, once again facing the challenge of remaining seated and quiet while feeling like I was being tasered.

Finally, we arrived at the gate.  As I deboarded the plane, the last thing the flight attendants said to me  was, “We can’t be sure the next set will be this understanding and cool.”  Great.

Exiting the plane provided a quick sense of relief as I was free again in a more open environment.  The relief, however, was short-lived.  Six a.m. at O’Hare Airport on a busy day is quite the overstimulation, even for the non-CNS challenged.  One more flight to go.

Next-level insanity ensued.  The lights, the sounds, the people — it all overloaded me once again.  I considered running up to one of the numerous policemen and having myself committed, a momentary lapse of reason in the desperate search for safety.  This is how desperate akathisia makes people – so desperate that they would even consider going back to one of the very institutions that had injured them.

Then the flight cancellations began: 8:10, 9:10, 10:10, 11:10 — frantic texting with multiple friends checking bus and train schedules to Cleveland ensued.   The mere thought of getting back on a plane only increased the fear and agitation.  Pacing back and forth in the terminal, I sped past Gate 14, Gate 15, Gate 16, and Gate 17, then Gate 16, Gate 15, Gate 14 and back again… and again.  I somehow managed not to draw attention to myself.  Luckily, I probably only appeared to be a maniac racing to catch his flight.  If only people knew how I’d felt inside!

Unless you have experienced akathisia firsthand, you can’t possibly realize the vulnerability of having it in public.  You become the village idiot, laughed at or feared by most.  Because of the pacing and physical distress, you emit an unnatural energy.  You become a human repellant because your energy is so frantic.  This is one of the main reasons people with akathisia often lose all social support.

Wanting to stack the odds in my favor on the final leg of my journey, I upgraded my seat to first class on the flight to Cleveland. I chose the first-row aisle seat because it’s the least cramped on the plane.  As I boarded the 12:10 flight,  I turned around and informed my fellow passengers that I had a neurological injury and was flying to the Cleveland Clinic for treatment – a little white lie just to preemptively cover me for a repeat performance of pacing.  I didn’t want anyone to misinterpret my movement for an attempted breach of the cockpit.

We landed in Cleveland and I made it off the plane to safety.  My luggage was waiting for me at the front-door baggage check: It had arrived about four flights ahead due to my cancellations and flight changes.

I found this to be a metaphor for my present-day healing from akathisia: Sometimes our luggage gets there before we do, and by just hanging in there, even if it’s for a later flight, we create and maintain the hope that a better future awaits.

 

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22 COMMENTS

  1. Instead of the terror of Akathisia I had the complete sleepless equivalent extended over a 9 month period a decade ago. No street stims wanted or needed. Likely the result of abruptly discontinuing Seriquel & Provigil. Very nasty. Later at a hospital ward a dozen of the staff gave my psychiatrist a naughty naughty for proscribing Provigil to someone with insomnia. Where was my brain when I actually took it? Anything can happen when sleepless even for more than 3 days.

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  2. “what is akathisia? Its current clinical definition cites it as an extrapyramidal symptom (EPS) or movement disorder. Other EPS symptoms include tardive dyskinesia, dystonia, parkinsonism, bradykinesia and tremor. Akathisia is characterized by an intense, internal sensation of restlessness and agitation that spurs the sufferer to be in constant motion. It is a grossly underdiagnosed and understudied neuropsychiatric symptom, most often resulting from exposure to and withdrawal from psychiatric drugs.”

    Ah the burning flesh. I note you are quite correct with your wording there Chris, underdiagnosed and understudied, but NOT misunderstood. Can you imagine the ability to induce this ‘disorder’ in someone, deliberately? I can. I met a young man whose doctor did precisely that, and then eventually changed his ‘treatment’ when that young man put a pistol in his mouth and blew half his face off. He told me that he had to pull the trigger three times, as the first two were misfires.

    Now why his doctor would do this to him, I simply don’t know. I, unlike the people who incarcerated me, do not have the ability to read minds, or travel through time and space. But I will point out that this unspoken, underdiagnosed and understudied response to psychiatric drugging has potential to ‘treat’ certain people who have fallen through the cracks of the justice system. And minus any proof of a motive (aka the good faith defense) that can only be obtained via a confession, this method has potential for aggressive expansion in the field. (perhaps the reason that 40% of psychiatrists left our public hospitals with the introduction of the changes in the new Mental Health Act? They don’t have the stomach for it? Hence the Pinkertons Detective Agency being brought in to deal with ‘drug addicts’?)

    “And God sends upon them a great delusion, that they might believe the lie” 2 Thessalonians countered in your instance with “And yeah shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”.

    I’m sure you will find it easy to ‘see’ what is really being done now as a result of your experience. Though careful what you say, the ‘flag’ on the police system results in changes to your environment that at first are not so obvious. Being made persona non grata as a means to silence only trumped by the unintended negative outcomes being performed in our Emergency Depts.

    Our Head of the AMA said it best when he commented on a doctor who admitted ending the life of a “patient” deliberately. All that is required is a “sophisticated knowledge of the law”. I don’t know that ‘keep your mouth shut’ is that sophisticated, most street hustlers know this but …… I guess it’s the caviar way of saying it. Minus proof of intent (easily retrieved by police) and/or a confession, one must assume good faith (though why this didn’t work for Dr Harold Shipman is a mystery to me. And to him if you look at the case in detail)

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    • Furthering the image and reality(s)
      1. The marketing image chosen for this is quite similar to a flyer for one of the pharma companies. The man was struggling to walk the high-wire with a pillow underneath as if the meds cushion one, (the message increases the buy in to medicate) or to walk through life without the balance pole…. Life is …..?

      2. In Louisville when UPS was expanding the airports, the planes began to fly over the house, the noise too much for a good night’s rest. So, I would go to the Humana psychiatrist who easily wrote me a prescription for Klonopin. Yuck, after a while I quit cold turkey….. didn’t nor had I heard anything about cold withdrawal tapering at that time. What pain occurred!!! Later in going to see the psychiatrist, when I said I wanted to see my records, he got up and pushed me out of his office. So, in checking with the other consumer friends in our organization, discovered this Dr. had a poor working relation with patients. We filed some complaints, he was removed.

      3. My dedication to the Lil Engine is deeply ingrained into how I perceive motion, each side of my body at times experienced as the fly wheel of STEAM…. Science, technology, engineering Art and math. And yes, after hearing Justin Dart speak to us at Philly, I would send him a copy of Waddy’s book. He wrote back with a nice thank you, the story being a a childhood favorite….Today’s RBC Daily Bread talks about access and platforms at rail stations that remain not accessible. The costs of trying to get to destination can drive one nuts, and yet for some reason, We, the People seem to not think one day, one might also need to access through a properly designed structure. How come we do not see this?

      4. The doctor uncle was a treating physician at the MoPac Hosptial in LR…. Sometimes for lack of a a better concept, since our grandfather had a lumber yard and would operate with footpowered jigsaws and so forth, the operations would vibrate a part. And the leather belt that drove the big wheel to the little wheel would break. And grandfather would dole out punishment to his children, though they may have been yards away when the machine’s singular bolt held it all together. So, how with and without meds is our world held together? How much energy is spent adjusting to just right, not too cold, not too hot?

      5. Design Design, Design….. I too would travel aboard aircraft, moving through the Chicago MidWay and O’Hare….. Deming would advise to take the flights that put one at destination rested. One thinks one is getting there sooner, while the body is adjusting and for a while surrendering to the flight and experience.
      Today, though just think what would happen if We, a people migrated to a place to recover, conference while sharing the hope and methods by which compassion, integrity, the methods are absorbed as an “experiment”…. To realize said gathering, that begins to foster a better “currency” that values life in the LIFE of self and that which surrounds and flows through us? Is that close? I think would be the ideal way to launch a better reality(s). I do not think I would enjoy riding in the Space-X capsule but time has been spent serving on a steam tourist rail. But the project ran out of steam.

      Points in travel are not linear! No path really seems to be that way, nor curvilinear either… Somehow, at night, with a better rest, a fresh approach begins the day! Be Well and thank you for reminding me that any one who has ever been on placed on the meds might also be a member of the Great Wallenda High Wire Act!

      Tks,

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  3. Thank you Chris,

    Akathisia Killing Fields
    I attended a ‘Mental Health Legal Function’ in Central London several years ago where a prominent Mental Health Lawyer/Tribunal Representative provided an informative speech to newly qualified Mental Health Lawyers.

    When I brought up the subject of Non Acknowledgement of Akathisia in Involuntary Mental Health Treatment with the speaker – his Answer was automatic and ‘off the cuff’ – he said that if Akathisia were acknowledged, then Doctors would NOT be able to prescribe the ‘medications’, (he then blushed very strongly).

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    • Isn’t it shocking how psychatry admits that they purposefully violate the medical principle of informed consent? They also violate the medical oath of “First do no harm.”
      They admit to withholding facts and lying to people in order to manipulate them into buying their addicting deadly drugs. If a group violates the doctors oath and standard medical principles doesn’t that mean they aren’t medical professionals?

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      • Not if it was considered a “noble lie”.

        “Patients” don’t have the cognitive ability to understand the science involved, we psychiatrists on the other hand have been trained, and simply don’t have the time to explain to them the intricacies of what is being done to their brains. And lets be honest, they can’t afford to purchase the time that would take.

        First do no harm doesn’t mean that you can do no harm. A heart surgeon needs to gain access to the ‘problem’ with their “patient”, and needs to cut the chest in that pursuit. Now while it may be argued that the “patient” was put under knowing the risks, there is also times when a decision needs to be made on the spur of the moment, and they are not in any position to make such decisions (being non compus mentis). Psychiatrists find themselves in the awful position of having their “patients” walking around among humans, and not on operating tables where they can be easily restrained. Thus the use of ‘chemical restraints’ is of vital importance in providing a tool with which to ensure the “patient” is not capable of doing themselves harm. So there are times when we need to do a little harm for a great benefit to the community. And if we turn a dollar in the process? Well, it’s not like we’re living an exorbitant life, have you seen the conditions we’re expected to live in. My Porsche is nearly a year old now and has 5000 Miles on the odometer. I’m the laughing stock of the Yacht Club. Which reminds me I must get my psychologist to make a few more referrals for ECTs. That should see me cashed up for the COVID lockdowns. Surely she can come up with a few sad people who need a bit of a buzz? And with the changes to the MHA it can be teenagers, now we have “added protections” from litigation for brain damage caused by our ‘treatments’.

        “They admit to withholding facts and lying to people in order to manipulate them into buying their addicting deadly drugs”

        Noble Lies, just don’t check the definition because the noble lie means everyone gains, and well, that’s not entirely true with psychiatry unless you consider that there is a God and they are going to a better place, and then ……. see, everyone benefits.

        “If a group violates the doctors oath and standard medical principles doesn’t that mean they aren’t medical professionals?”

        It might, but it does make them a lot smarter and a lot richer than the rest of us. I’d call it a breach of trust and confidence but with the State ensuring that no one is getting access to enforce their rights with legal remedy, what are you going to do? I know in my case, lawyers were threatened along with my family and friends and well, they understand that they will be ‘fuking destroyed’ if they speak up.

        The State has been quite open about that (promoting the people who are fuking destroying any citizens who dare speak about the misconduct of public officers. And let me say with the resources of the State at their disposal, they never lose). Pointing out that the hospital is engaging in acts of torture and kidnapping will get you “fuking destroyed” should you dare suggest that it would be a crime to NOT report these matters to the relevant authorities. Whilst that report may not result in the victim being treated in any other way than being unintentionally negatively outcomed (cover ups in the public interest. Best they don’t know about what is being done in the name of medicine. Some people don’t have the stomach for it they tell me), at least the Corruption an Crime Commission could keep an eye on the doctors doing these convenience killings rather than have them operating without supervision, or under the thumb of organised criminals. Not what the Operations Manager wanted apparently, and there are how many people dead as a result? OmG, that many? How fortunate their negligence can not be pursued by those who were harmed. I assume the truth would require further “editing” before outcoming the victims?

        Quite a clever model when you think about it. Pretend there is nothing to see once you have identified the offences via a ‘formal investigation’ (that produces NO DOCUMENTS), “edit” the documents that do exist to conceal any motive (destroying documents a definite no no, though I do note the disposal of the Complaint Form [alleging misconduct] was thrown in the bin. And no you can’t have a copy of my copy to conceal your offending), and then have the complainant murdered in an Emergency Dept with an ‘accidental’ overdose. The public aware of how dangerous it is to work in this environment and so will fully support the ‘restraint’ of anyone who dares use the word “no”. And this then justifies the ‘hotshot’ chemical cocktail to silence the truth, while police look the other way and can’t find their copy of the Criminal Code should the family complain. Gee I hope Bashar al Assad doesn’t get any ideas from our ‘democracy’.

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        • Gee I hope Bashar al Assad doesn’t get any ideas from our ‘democracy’.

          Which leaves me wondering if it is any easier to get access to a psychiatrist in places where the claim is that human rights abuses’ are occurring? It would obviously be a ‘go to’ method of subjecting people to torture, arbitrary detentions (aka State sanctioned kidnappings) and convenience killings. Maybe the reason we are so short of psychiatrists is that there is so much money to be made in places where their services are appreciated and remunerated at a rate consistent with the difficulty of the work they perform?

          No, certainly the opening up of ECTs (for use on mainly teenage girls) by my government means that huge sums of money can be extracted from the Medicare system for plugging people in to the wall socket.

          And I guess what i’m saying must sound totally insane. I invite that slander to be honest. There are those that have checked and know the truth and conceal it, and then there are those afraid of the truth that simply don’t bother checking.

          Calling Noah mad didn’t stop it raining. Calling me mad doesn’t mean I’m not speaking the truth, but it’s a slander that is being used to great effect by the current Minister (and his ‘colleagues’). And of course once the State starts killing people for speaking the truth???? I would find it difficult to call that a democracy or a Nation that values a Rule of Law. You people are going to need to spend some time learning how to do effective cover ups if you wish to continue torturing and kidnapping citizens. This was really sloppy work if you ask me. The sin lies in being caught, not the fact your torturing, kidnapping and killing.

          Repent, repent I say ……. and then in a few weeks you can go back to doing it and no one will be any wiser. Oh, you did.

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      • “One lie simply results in having to come up with more.” Until the psychiatrist commits the biggest lie of all, and states your entire life is “a credible fictional story.”

        “he said that if Akathisia were acknowledged, then Doctors would NOT be able to prescribe the ‘medications’,” and that is exactly what should happen.

        Thanks, Chris, for bringing the reality of akathisia to the forefront, since the psychiatrists do blatantly deny it is caused by their drugs, to their clients and their families. At least that’s what my lying psychiatrists did.

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  4. Almost all studies psychiatry uses for “safety and effectiveness” for its drugs consist of putting the non drug group through withdrawal. Since withdrawal causes these neurological disorders these studies will vastly underestimate how many people get this drug induced disease.

    I wonder what the people who started the medical principle of informed consent would think of not telling people, “There is around a 50% chance using antipsychotics will cause a permeant painful movement disease that can’t be treated.”

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  5. Really sorry to hear that you encountered “negligent” people. I do think the negligence started before the detox.
    Did you ever witness this phenomena in your line of work? And where did all the “compassionate” doctors and nurses go when you needed help? And are you back at doing this compassionate work of caring for the “mentally ill”? I am very surprised that you were not knowledgeable about akathasia even though you worked with children, the most vulnerable of all, and how did you hear about it once you yourself experienced it? It seems you have the gift or knowledge how to know “psychopathology”, but remain uneducated about the drugs that children will receive and can’t even describe at what they are feeling. A child could never say that “I am agitated because of the drug, or removal of drug”. The child remains a rat to be done to what they want.

    “For perspective, rewind 25 years. I was working at the University of Miami’s School of Psychiatry, running a hospital-based program for children and adolescents deemed to be severely emotionally disturbed. Every week, I would take part in a supervisory group at their teaching hospital, attend psychiatric grand rounds, and sit in with the head of the department for group supervision with psychiatric fellows, psychology residents, social workers, and nurses.”

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    • Akathesia is often not reported and not understood by people who work with children, even the psychiatrists. I had a young lady (14) who specifically reported being “unable to sit still” (the literal meaning of “akathesia”), and was on a special program where she could raise her hand to leave class because it was so hard for her to stay in one place. They had a goal of staying in class longer. After my CASA volunteer and I got them to reduce her Risperdal and Lithium dosages, her in-class percentages went up significantly. But the psychiatrist still denied that akathesia had been an issue. A survey of the residential staff showed that none of them had been trained on what to look for as adverse effects, nor were they told that watching for adverse effects was a part of their job. The level of denial is unbelievable.

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      • Steve
        Your account reminds me of my “Rehabilitation” many years ago, when a nurse explained to me that the way to get into work, was to start with half days and extend to full days.

        I remember visiting a friend of mind (a shrewd psychiatric survivor) at the time, who advised me to go back to my Specialist and get my restlesness sorted out.

        Once the restlessness was sorted out, I didn’t need rehabilitation .

        Akithisia is “Stereotypical” – All Psychiatric staff should be able to identify it; and should be prepared to approach doctors neglecting their professional duties.

        The main expressed problem my Consultant Psychiatrist had with me (many years ago) was my “inability to maintain routine” – but it was him that was sponging off the Welfare State – NOT me.

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        • Pretty much everyone with these labels gets drugged. If they do well off the drugs psychiatry claims they must not really have the “illness”. This means that the perception of what these labels are is based on looking at drugged people. Particularly drugged people put through withdrawal.

          The irony is that “mentally ill” people do have an “illness” that illness is a psychiatric drug addiction to drugs that cause brain damage even in the short term. These people’s brains do have abnormalities that cause horrible effects. Those abnormalities are effects from the drugs.

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          • “If they do well off the drugs psychiatry claims they must not really have the “illness”.”

            If they take the drugs and commit a terrible act, they were not receiving enough of the drugs.

            If they don’t take the drugs and commit a terrible act they were untreated for their “illness”.

            It a confidence trick using attribution theory as it’s base. All positive is attributed to the drugs and the psychiatrist/doctor, and all negatives are attributed to the victim …. I mean “patient”, “client”, “meal tickets” or whatever term is in current use.

            The guy whose work was used to ‘induce’ a sense of helplessness/hopelessness (read torture) in the detainees at Guantanamo Bay pretty much has it covered. Martin Seligmans work with electro shocking dogs (not to the head mind you, that would have been considered unethical even all those years ago) shows exactly the methods being used to exacerbate the problems of people considered to be mentally ill, and why so very few recover, and many commit suicide (or acts of violence towards others).

            But we don’t like that narrative, so were “editing” it out of existence, slandering the victims, and remaining silent on the truth. And it’s working a treat.

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        • The protocol for my experience during the mass killing at the Courier-Journal, the killer was on Prozac that was quietly settled by Lilly in a manipulative manner, was to experience a forced commitment. Then placed on disability, after the meds were played around with. Then routed into Voc-Rehab who would alter the career dreams, while I began to discover the organization of c/s/x.

          When you talk “Welfare State”, the terms have become one of confused communication whereby an individual can think of individuals who have accessed legit programs. Then there is the report about the Welfare of the State, as in how are we doing across the various departments/disciplines . Somehow, the monies that have programed to aid those who for reasons are directly visible, are a drop in the bucket compared to the monies financed to create wars and space travel. Money itself can be a sponge like device, to be played with, just ask George Soros or astute investors who know their currencies. Time has been spent approaching the medical doctors, medical boards and the departments of justice. Certified letters and other communications shows the efforts. And the lack of intervention shows another……

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        • I do not think “they have to deny it”; defining the “it” while costing such the liabilities and loss will not be absorbed, by anyone individual might be the certain act that elevates the reason for our existence. We are challenged to keep fighting, to find the words within our respective disciplines and countries to provide the rational for such a package a program. Murder, indirectly is no longer acceptable.

          I did have an Uncle who said, “He couldn’t sit still” but what was advanced by theory in science then and the emergent science, NOW is much different. The ability to write more may be confused with a quantity to work through as opposed to quality(s) by which answers find their way to surface.

          Imagine from this image what it would mean to take a jump to the left or the right from the high wire, the logic to walk a thin narrow reality is not! And yet, to drive more anxiety into the discussion, marketing and a reason for …..

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      • Well if they didn’t deny the effects of the addicting deadly drugs they push and even force on people and they had any conscious they would have trouble sleeping at night.

        Why bother becoming informed about your actions if doing so shows you’re maiming people? Much easier and better for ones happiness to ignore the consequences of your actions. To call anyone pointing them out a dangerous crazy person.

        There is a quote that goes “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” I can one up that with, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his moral status depends on his not understanding it.”

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    • “A child could never say that “I am agitated because of the drug, or removal of drug”. The child remains a rat to be done to what they want.”

      When they say a Cat Food is “New and Tastier” who told them? Maybe they want it to be that way and in their echo chambers …… I mean the Queen thinks the world smells like fresh paint. Any wonder psychiatrists see patients getting better the more drugs they prescribe? Any anyone who is not compliant is ‘prepared’ for the next meeting with their doctor by staff (in much the same way detainees at Abu Ghraib were prepared for interrogations). Human depravity never ceases to amaze me.

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      • It’s hard for anyone to say if what they experience and feel is an effect of the drugs because psychiatrists lie and withhold what the effects are. They tell people the effects of their drugs are because of their “illness”. Patients who complain are called crazy. Most the time they are given an additional addicting deadly drug to address the effects of the other drugs.

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  6. Chris:

    Thanks so much for sharing your story and your horrendous experience with Akathisia. I too have experienced Akathisia for an extended period of time, including on an airplane as you describe, and I feel that I almost could have written some of this story myself. My flight, fortunately, was a short one hour puddle jump with no connection and I had my father next to me to dig my nails into his palm the whole time while I struggled between trying not to look suspicious and trying to contain the feeling of my heart wanting to pop out of my chest and my own neck and shoulder muscles feeling like they wanted to snap my spine.

    The point is, I empathize. I feel like there aren’t many who can. I also feel like Akathisia is a torture worse than anything that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Thanks again for sharing.

    Cheers,
    Nick

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