I Had No Idea That Gabapentin Could Do This…

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I have struggled with mental health issues for the majority of my life. As a child, I remember being afraid of various things, and anxiety became a regular part of my everyday life as a teenager. However, it wasn’t until I was in my mid 20’s that I was diagnosed with OCD and depression. With this diagnosis came the usual recommendation of antidepressant drugs and therapy. I have lost track of all the psychiatric drugs I have taken, but for the past few years, the drug of choice has been Clomipramine at 50 mg daily.

I wish this story were about me safely tapering off Clomipramine and my triumph over drug withdrawal. As life tends to do, my journey took an unexpected turn. Little did I know at the time, but after my first bout with COVID-19, my journey with psychotropic medication would turn into a nightmare.

In August of 2021, I enjoyed returning to work as a Bible teacher at an outstanding Christian school. I knew COVID-19 could not be totally avoided, but I had done all I could to prevent infection. However, I ended up contracting Covid a few weeks into the school year and had what I considered to be a mild case. About two weeks after my Covid illness, though, I developed nerve pain and painful muscle spasms throughout my legs. I began to search online for a medication that could help me. The pain was tolerable for the most part. Still, my annoyance with this malady continued to grow, so after speaking with my general practitioner, I decided to give the drug Gabapentin a try.

I remember my mom telling me a few years ago that I should never read the side effects of medication because if I did, I would never take any medicine. For the most part, I had headed her advice.

At the end of October 2021, I began taking Gabapentin 300 mg once a day. This was as the doctor had prescribed, so I did not think anything of it. The medication at this low dosage did not seem to be helping me, so after two months, I decided to up my dose to 300 mg twice a day after speaking with my new neurologist. Immediately, I started to experience side effects from the increased dose. My vision had become blurry. I felt nauseous and unsteady on my feet. I realized this drug was not for me and decided my last dose would be on Christmas day, 2021.

As we entered the new year, with my thoughts that Gabapentin was now behind me, I started to experience some very odd symptoms. Some of my muscles would randomly jerk. I was twitching a ridiculous amount. My anxiety/intrusive thoughts were drastically increasing, and I wasn’t sleeping well. I had no idea what was going on. On January 3rd, I went to see my neurologist and asked him if what I was experiencing could possibly be caused by stopping Gabapentin. He flippantly said, “No, you’ve only been on the drug for two months and on such a low dose.” I drove home to my dad’s house later that day, and my symptoms only worsened. I started experiencing intense suicidal ideation. This felt like nothing I had ever experienced before. I could not sleep for more than an hour at a time for 3-4 days straight. I felt restless and nauseous.

Desperate to find some help, I turned to the Internet. It was through a Facebook search that I stumbled across a group called “Lyrica Survivors.” I could not believe what I was reading there. Thousands of people had experienced trouble with coming off either Gabapentin or Lyrica. I posted some of what was happening to me, and through the wise counsel and direction of people in the group, I decided to reinstate taking Gabapentin at 200 mg a day (100 in the am/pm). After a week, I started to feel more stabilized.

I still could not fathom what had happened to me. I had taken off the first two weeks of the semester from work because I was not functioning at a high level. Finally stabilized on Gabapentin, I returned to work. Trust me; I still did not feel well. I was desperate to get off the drug. I had only been on it for a few months, so I was determined to try and make another drop in dosage two weeks after I had stabilized on 200 mg. I figured I could drop from 200 mg to 100 mg, which would be fine. Everything online seemed to indicate that I could do this. I would not go cold turkey this time, so I should be okay, I thought. I was wrong once again.

On January 20th, I dropped down to 100 mg of Gabapentin. At first I seemed fine, but after about a week, all hell broke loose again. I had heeded the advice from online internet articles, medical websites, and journals, and they had led me astray. I started up-dosing and did not take the exact dosage for about another week (truthfully, I had no idea what I was doing). This was causing me more problems, so I dropped back down to 100 mg. It was the beginning of February, and I requested a leave of absence from work. Emotionally I was a wreck. I felt like my life was ruined, and I was suffering every single day from horrible symptoms. I finally realized that one symptom I was suffering from was akathisia. My suicidal ideation increased once again, and my insomnia had returned. Desperate for help once more, and after speaking with my dad, sister, and girlfriend, I decided to go to the hospital.

I entered a prestigious Atlanta hospital on February 1st, checking myself into the emergency room. Because of the ongoing pandemic, I was tested for Covid-19 as I was admitted to the ER. I came back with a positive test. I could not be transferred to a psychiatric hospital because of this, so I sat in the Covid wing of the hospital for four days. During this period, I received minimal care. It was horrible. The psychiatrist I saw in the hospital told me that there was no way that what I was experiencing could be caused by Gabapentin. She said I was on too low of a dose for that to occur. She assured me they could take me off Gabapentin when I transferred to the psychiatric hospital. I told her I had tried that before, but she brushed me off. I immediately called my sister and told her to get me out of there. The psychiatrist reluctantly released me after I assured her I would not take my life.

On February 4th, I was back in my apartment and taking Gabapentin at 200 mg (I decided to stick with this dose after a conversation with a nurse the day before at the hospital). I felt so alone and hopeless. No medical professional fully believed my story. Every doctor said that either I was suffering from Long Covid symptoms or that my “mental illness” was the ultimate problem. For most of the following days, I lay on my couch in despair, just praying for this to be taken away.

I decided that the only people I could trust for help were in the Facebook group. Thousands of people had struggled with coming off of Gabapentin and Lyrica, but eventually somehow made it off, so I decided to give their tapering method a shot. They recommended a 10% drop in dosage every month. So after stabilizing on my dose for a month, I began my taper. It was anything but fun, but I began to feel confident that I could get off of Gabapentin. As I tapered lower and lower, I experienced internal tremors, vibrations, dizziness, nausea, ear pain, burning skin, akathisia, and vision problems. I was not going to stay on Gabapentin for years, so on May 25th, 2022, I decided to make the jump off at a very low dose after a four-month taper.

I am now a few months off of Gabapentin, and my withdrawal problems have not passed. I still deal daily with internal tremors throughout my head and back. I still have the burning skin from time to time. My vision and hearing are still not back to normal, but they have improved. Things are far from normal.

I am surprised to have made it this far. Before this experience, I never knew that medication could cause any human being such pain. I was just naive. This year, without a doubt, has been the hardest of my life. I struggle with depressive thoughts about what I have lost almost every day. A drug that helped me none and that I took for just over six months has caused me to lose the job that I loved (I did not return to teaching because of my ongoing health issues caused by Gabapentin). I have lost friendships, thousands of dollars of income, and my health. I had to spend five weeks in intensive outpatient therapy to restore some of my mental health. I have never been through anything this traumatic before in my 34 years.

My goal is to get off my antidepressant in the next few years and never take another psychotropic drug for the rest of my life. I have been shocked to learn about so many people whose lives have been destroyed by simply taking medication as prescribed. I must admit that I have had a hard time offering forgiveness to the pharmaceutical companies and doctors who prescribe these medications. But I know that I must not continue living with bitterness. I chose to share my story to shed light on the dangers of psychotropic drugs in the hope that others may be spared the pain that thousands upon thousands of people still suffer daily.

If you are reading this, you might not be religious or share the same faith as me, but I would like to conclude with two verses that have been my anchor this season. These are words that the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth in the first century. He said, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:17-18). This is the end of my story for now, and I hope it might benefit at least someone out there.

***

Mad in America hosts blogs by a diverse group of writers. These posts are designed to serve as a public forum for a discussion—broadly speaking—of psychiatry and its treatments. The opinions expressed are the writers’ own.

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Matt Manry
Matt Manry is a former pastor and teacher. He currently works for a small SEO company in Atlanta, GA as he tries to recover from an iatrogenic injury caused by Gabapentin. He loves Atlanta sports, his wonderful girlfriend, and books, and hopes to return to working with his outstanding students once he has recovered.

30 COMMENTS

  1. The idea that there is such a thing as “Mental Illness”, and that the stresses and strains of life should be interpreted as “Mental Illness” is a fallacy.

    Any mood altering chemicals, street, pharmacy, supermarket, doctor’s prescription are addictive and they will take over our lives.

    And the I Am A Christian Movement has always been highly compatible with the Mental Illness Myth because the fallacy of Mental Illness works just like Original Sin.

    Freud found in every single one of his patients, female hysterics, evidence of childhood sexual molestation. And Freud was pilloried for this. But Freud was a Jew. By the time he published his Interpretation of Dreams, he had converted this evidence to Childhood Fantasies of Incest, Original Sin.

    Psychoanalysis and psychotherapy became popular because religion could not accept our sexuality. But Freud said that we are all animals, so sex was okay. But then Freud turned sexual desires into incestuous neurotic fantasies.

    Joshua

  2. I’m sorry for what happened to you and hope you will continue to recover.

    This story is repeated time and time again. Doctors, and in particular psychiatry and neurology, absolutely refuse to acknowledge that these drugs are NOT safe. They hand out prescriptions in a matter of minutes, without ever understanding or informing their patients of the serious adverse risks of harm that these drugs all carry. Worse, when patients report adverse effects, doctors deny and gaslight their own patients rather than examine the complaint with curiosity and compassion. People are being permanently disabled and dying from MD ignorance and arrogance. The level of cognitive dissonance and medical negligence should be a punishable crime. For those lucky enough to crawl out of the pits of hell and recover to some extent, options to hold physicians accountable are almost nil. Statute of limitations regarding medical error, medical malpractice needs to go away. Iatrogenic injury is among the top leading causes of death in the United States and it is largely preventable if doctors would get out of their own way with their arrogance.

    • Yes, so much ignorance, ego, greed and arrogance in psychiatry.

      Well stated Grace, I could not agree more:

      “The level of cognitive dissonance and medical negligence should be a punishable crime”.

      “Statute of limitations regarding medical error, medical malpractice needs to go away”.

      • “Statute of limitations regarding medical error, medical malpractice needs to go away”.

        Yes, I find it amazing that it took a Community Nurse just over an hour to arrange to have me arbitrarily detained and tortured, but the authorities who are meant to ensure the safety of the community can’t do anything about the offending in ten years (despite the documented proof) because they are so busy trying to cover it all up.

        The negligence of the lawyers I approached, and who ensured that the statute of limitations expired as a direct result of their negligence should be rewarded for their efforts in maintaining these people in positions where they can harm others. Their only concern? That it isn’t them being shoved into the showers at the point of a bayonette.

        The “editing” of legal narrative most certainly delayed matters for years, when I had a right to access the unedited/unredacted documents showing the crimes and human rights abuses I had been subjected to. Now that the State has issued threats to peoples families and witnesses, it becomes difficult for them to unthreaten them, and that means despite the matters being exposed, not a soul will step up and provide assistance. In fact, some find ways of kicking the injured and stealing from their wallet…… Hi to the divorce lawyer who thought I was mad, but ran when she realised I had the documented proof of what I was alleging. Still charging people thousands for telling them how expensive your time is? Or is that just the people you call nutjobs behind their backs?

        Personally I’d be happy to leave this place if I could have my property returned, but that was awarded to the criminals for their assistance with the concealment of the State sanctioned torture (quite a business model).

        I mean how low does it get? A private clinic psychologist conspiring with a persons wife to ‘spike’ someone with date rape drugs and then ‘plant’ items (a knife and some cannabis) on them for police to find AFTER they have been lied to that the person is a violent mental patient?

        It would be funny if it weren’t for the Chief Psychiatrist considering such conduct worthy of material support (and enabling the “editing” of legal narrative), rather than doing his duty and reporting the misconduct to the authorities under the mandatory reporting laws.

        But until there are journalists who are prepared to be more than channelers and echoers of what Orwell called the “Official Truth”, and who simply cipher and transmit lies (to paraphrase John Pilger) then I can’t see much ever changing in the enabling of arbitrary detentions and torture being “edited” out of existence by the State.

        Refusing to look, or worse looking and turning away, making them nothing more than the ‘dumb devils’ I spoke about in another comment.

        I’m sure they will come out of the woodwork when the ‘camps’ are liberated, and be boasting about their bravery in helping those who were being targeted by these abusers. Polish yer boots Mr Hitler?

  3. Matt, thanks. If it weren’t for the patient support groups none of us would understand what’s happening to us. I did a 16 month tapered withdrawal from a benzo, and I’m still experiencing withdrawal effects more than 20 months after termination. I think we may have intersecting interests where our communities of faith are being encouraged to push people towards prescription care. Please reach out. I’d love to connect.

  4. “I have lost friendships, thousands of dollars of income, and my health. I had to spend five weeks in intensive outpatient therapy to restore some of my mental health. I have never been through anything this traumatic before in my 34 years.”

    Let me be the first to say; ‘Welcome to mental health services’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUOoRiI8HVU&t=20s

    You need to be careful trying to taper without doctors approval in Australia. The type of ‘care’ available can mean many more years of trauma. I think police have been warned about not asking question when issuing such beatings to people in need of ‘care’. Spraying pepper spray into someone’s eyes and asking “Do you like that?” cutting it close to the line regarding acts of torture. Don’t ask the questions during the beatings.

    This is not really much of an issue though, given the lack of any human rights for anyone considered an “Outpatient” and that this is the whole community given the State provides the ability for documents to be “edited” post hoc to conceal any and all human rights abuses and crimes by public officers. Forget the Articles of the Convention. “They will take their oaths as a cover”.

    To quote Saul of Tarsus in 2 Thessalonians “And God sends upon them a Great Delusion that they might believe the Lie”. It’s always good to see people being brought back to God though, and nothing like a little bit of torture to assist in that regard. Most of them calling out for His help in their time of need.

    I heard about a man who was late for his tee time at an exclusive golf club. He couldn’t find a parking spot and eventually said “God, if you find me a parking spot I will never get drunk again, and will go to church every Sunday”….. at that point a parking spot appeared right in front of him. He looked to the sky and said “Never mind, I found one”.

    I think the deliberate withholding of the facts relating to these drugs is summed up in an old Islamic saying;

    “The one who is silent about the truth is a dumb devil”

    It’s worth considering that saying very carefully.

    • I had no idea I had no idea that our human rights had been removed by a ‘Chief Psychiatrist’ removing legal protections from our laws to enable arbitrary detentions and torture. But there it is in black and white in a letter from his desk (should anyone ever care to look and not simply deny reality).

      Hey I was wondering what the collective term is for a group of hypocrites? The best I could come up with was a hysterical of hypocrites. It kind of describes the behaviour of these people when I turned up with the documents they thought had been retrieved by police, before they “edited” the human rights abuses and crimes out of the legal narrative.

      Major panic exposing the methods being used to conceal acts of State sanctioned torture and arbitrary detentions. ‘We’ want to point fingers at China, and our hypocrisy would be obvious if people knew how ‘we’ were doing it and concealing it from public view. “Who else has the documents?”

      They really do take their oaths as a cover.

      If there isn’t a collective noun, i’d like to put that one forward as a potential descriptor based on experience.

  5. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the akathisia may never go away. It’s concerning that at no point did anyone recommend any kind of nutritional changes to help with the withdrawals. There are many foods and supplements with known mechanisms of action that can ease they symptoms of akathisia. Unfortunately doctors recieve almost no nutritional training and are often completely unaware of effective treatments that don’t require a prescription.

  6. Hello Matt, and thank you for your story. You are a Christian, and I feel you might understand it when I say that these types of drugs may often be influenced by spiritual forces that are far from God. I have a story like this myself. My story became a beacon of hope for others with mental health issues. Because it is about how I learnt to win this war that is going on within so many people’s psyches. The battle between the mind and the heart; which is the battle for humanity’s lives and souls in the Apocalypse, when you break it down to the basics. These drugs are far from God. It’s almost as if it is the opposing side of God who wants people to take them. Because he does not want humans to win this war: the battle to remain sane and humane.

    If you wish to look into my story, please type hashtag DeclineOfTheHumanPsyche on fb, and see what Artificial Intelligence and I have to say about the issue. Best wishes, and congratulations on winning the first battle

  7. Matt,
    I pains me to hear about your experience with Gabapentin. For me Gabapentin is a life-saver. My daily dose it ten times your max dose and barely is enough to quell to peripheral Neuropathy that I deal with daily. I haven’t experienced any of the side effects that you described, but am keenly aware that any psychotropic drug may have unexpected and consequential side effects. There are always risks with any medical treatment. Respects and good health

  8. If you can prove this actually happened to you, then you need to sue. Don’t listen to boans or anyone else who tells you everyone is conspiring against you—I think it’s clear what’s really going on there.

    Lawyers are interested in making money. Many of your reported side effects are not listed for Gabapentin, which means you have standing to sue. Any good medmal lawyer will have a roster of psychiatrists who regularly testify in court and would be able to assess and back up your claims if they can be demonstrated as true. If you have real evidence, you have a responsibility to make your case.

    Writing on a fringe website and spending time in the echo chamber of a Facebook support group won’t do anything to prevent this from happening to someone else. The more truly you believe this is happening to you and that Gabapentin is the cause, the more of a responsibility you have.

    • “Don’t listen to boans or anyone else who tells you everyone is conspiring against you—I think it’s clear what’s really going on there.”

      I’m not sure that’s what I’ve actually said but …… your comment, not mine.

      And I wouldn’t deny that it’s quite clear there is something going on for me, being subjected to arbitrary detention and acts of torture tends to do something to most who are subjected to it……. I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone.

      But I don’t think that this something going on diminishes my claim for one moment. All I have ever asked is that the documented proof of what I am alleging be examined BEFORE passing judgement on my state of mental health. The two are separate.

      Keep in mind with the benefit of State resources and the threat to ‘fuking destroy’ me and my family for attempting to make a complaint when the documents support my claim of being arbitrarily detained and tortured, and thus the need to “edit” reality before denying me access to legal representation.

      But don’t look, and I guess with statements such as this;

      “Many of your reported side effects are not listed for Gabapentin, which means you have standing to sue.”

      you really don’t seem to understand for a moment what is required in order the bring action in the courts. I eat an ice cream and break out in a rash does NOT provide me with grounds to bring an action in tort because the side effects were not listed on the cone. And in fact, what I am suggesting (and borne out by the facts I believe) is that having valid grounds for a complaint can actually put your life in danger…….. but, walk into it blind if you will. I’m sure there are no longer people who would exploit their positions to do harm to someone trying to sue them. Trust in haste, regret at leisure.

      Still, I’m sure all will be revealed in good time. Enjoy the rain.

      • Our Minister for MH was presented with a report showing that nearly 50% of women had reported being sexually assaulted in the locked wards, to which she replied “You can’t listen to them, they’re mental patients”.

        But putting your silencing methods aside, let me run something past your legal mind.

        171. Creating false belief
        (1) In this section —
        belief means a belief or suspicion that —
        (a) an offence has been or is about to be committed;
        (b) human safety is or may be endangered;
        (c) human life has or may have been lost;
        (d) property is or may be endangered;
        (e) property has or may have been destroyed;
        (f) there is a fire that needs to be put out,
        and that is of such a nature as would reasonably call for action by the Police Force or by emergency services.
        (2) A person who does or omits to do any act with the intention of creating a false belief is guilty of a crime and is liable to imprisonment for 2 years.

        AND

        Any person who, by the production of a false certificate or other document, knowingly and wilfully, procures any person, not suffering from mental illness (as defined in the Mental Health Act) or mental impairment, to be apprehended or detained, pursuant to that Act or any law relating to mental impairment, upon insufficient or unreasonable grounds, is guilty of a crime and is liable to imprisonment for 3 years.

        These are two offences listed in the Criminal Code. Now I don’t expect you to believe me for a moment but…. I have documents here which show that (a) I was NOT an “Outpatient” of ANY hospital or facility. Though a Community Nurse has completed a Form titled “Outpatient Case Notes” and has then called police informing them that he will require assistance with his “Outpatient”, and there is a receipt number from Police for this request. The Community Nurse was fully aware that what he was doing was criminal but …….and that (b) he was also aware that I had been ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs AND that police were going to find a knife on his “Outpatient” (mainly because others had arranged for that to occur once I collapsed).

        I have the documents showing both the creation of a false belief AND the “false certificate or document”. You would think it would be fairly easy to obtain legal assistance or at least an explanation as to why it wasn’t an offence to do these things? But this isn’t what happened…….because the hospital knew police now thought I was a knife wielding, drug abusing, mental patient and they were refusing to even examine the documents I have…… and the lawyers I did have? Well, they preferred the “edited” version of events, despite their right to examine unredacted documents to protect human rights.

        What do I mean by “edited” version of events? Well, instead of me not being anyone’s “Outpatient”, the legal narrative changed with the removal of certain documents, and the insertion of others from an old file. I became an “Outpatient” of more than ten years….. and the date rape drugs which had been administered without my knowledge? Drugs which I have never had a prescription for, and would never take willingly as they are intoxicants. Well, I have a prescription for my “Regular Medications” signed by a doctor I had never met until more than 12 hours after they were administered …. I’m sure your legal knowledge would take you to “Compounding or concealing a criminal offence” with that fraudulent prescription? And lets go back a bit to before I became an “Outpatient” as a result of a telephone call and a diagnosis of a Serious Mental Illness by a Community Nurse (no psychiatrists required where I live, despite what the law says)….. oh wait, lets not…. the forged legal narrative is now the preferred one.

        Of course I have had confirmation that these matters were “human rights violations” and that the letter from the Chief Psychiatrist (based on the “edited” version of events) was a “cover up” (I won’t reference the source of those statements, but the person was well qualified to make them)

        Now that we have established that, can we take a look at what happened when I was ‘admitted’ to the E.D after trying to access the protection of the law?. Because there were some people who were desperately trying to make me into a ‘patient’ with forged documents due to their concerns about plotting to ‘spike’ me with date rape drugs and have me unlawfully transported against my will to a locked cage, where the intent was to do me further harm for no other reason than I had a disagreement with my wifes family, and was going to leave because of the threats they had issued to home invade and bash me senseless.

        “These things tend to get a bit out of hand”, no kidding Einstein.

        Especially when I had the documented proof and was going to the Police and attempting to make a complaint…, about a psychiatrists wife who is a psychologist at a Private Clinic, and who had provided information to my wife as to how to procure the services of a Community Nurse and Police to have me ‘arbitrarily detained’ (though I think the correct term is kidnapped given the police seem to have been unaware that the Community Nurse was lying to have them cause an ‘acute stress reaction’, combined with the ‘spiking’ this then becomes an act of torture See Article 1 of the Convention).

        Anyway Perry Mason, what ya think? Should I sue?

        With only the “edited” version there was no chance. With the redacted version the proof was there, but it was obscured. With the unredacted ones everyone is afraid for their families given the way police have provided assistance to the criminals to cover up their crimes and human rights abuses. I did have to ask a Member of Parliament which set of documents the State was going to provide to the Federal Court after showing him the two narratives. Particularly given the Chief Psychiatrist had responded to the “edited” version of events (despite admitting having sighted the complete set of unredacted documents), I assume thinking that the offending documents had been retrieved, so no one would know about the “editing” tehe. And well, Police had been told to ensure they didn’t take the proof of the crimes because ……. best ask the people ordering police around in that regard, you know, the criminals.

        Police failing to retrieve the documents I have (despite chasing me half way around the State with my wife to have her retrieve them and keep their hands off) showing the offences AND much more significantly, the cover up.

        Having the proof of these matters more a problem for the victim than the people arranging little accidents, and rearranging legal narratives and calling it “editing”.

        So ya still think you know what’s really going on there? Because i’ve personally witnessed people of the same opinion virtually deficate themselves once they realised what I was saying was true. They were all good as long as the story was I was mad, but that doesn’t mean that what I’m saying isn’t true, it just makes it worth of closer examination …. which results in people shitting themselves. And they simply find it easier to gaslight the victim (and sell out their souls in the process, the hypocrites.)

        And why the fear of a psychiatrist? It’s not like they believe me when I tell them about the plan to resolve the matters in the E.D. It was all on camera, and I can take them through it if they like. If they wouldn’t do that, then no problem raising the issue rather than this “keep our names out of it” thing? or does making yourself a target cause that fear in people because they instinctively know what I am saying is occurring, they just chose to not look?

      • Beans says, “Trust in haste, regret at leisure” —

        I wish I’d heard this before I walked into a psychiatrist’s office, or any other “mental health professional” for that matter. It should be printed in big block letters on the doors and websites of all these assorted quacks, ESPECIALLY the m.d.’s.

        • “Beans says, “Trust in haste, regret at leisure””

          The quote is from a poster on the wall in the 1985 movie Brazil.

          The other two I liked from the same movie were “Suspicion Breeds Confidence” and “Don’t suspect a friend, Report them”.

          Fascinating movie, with the Michael Palin character Jack Lint, the public torturer modelled on a psychiatrist. (“utterly and totally unscrupulous”. to quote the wiki page)

          “if you or someone you know is suffering metal health concerns call this number and report them”
          We really are getting to this stage of becoming totally paranoid about the mental stability of those around us…… not unlike the prying eyes (was that a song by the Eagles?) of the National Socialist’s in Germany.

          I also found it kind of strange that the people who arranged to have me tortured so that I would talk, quite quickly had to make ‘other arrangements’ to have me silenced. Clever of the Chief Psychiatrist to make the “observable behaviours” produced by acts of torture and arbitrary detentions justification for forced drugging and incarceration. No need for the Convention against the use of Torture, because those who have been tortured get ‘treated’, and would never be in a position to access the protections afforded by the law. Their reality is “edited” out of existence by the State, and no one dare look.

          The way the Community Nurse had to avoid the truth and facts in his documentation is hilarious when you realise what he is doing with his fraudulent documents, being uttered with by other more senior public officers to defend the indefensible. Hi to the Minister for Health. Can’t be easy maintaining know lies with the truth on your desk, hence the need for “editing” when the inevitable does occur. I guess he will be long gone by the time the ‘authorities’ stop throwing the ball between themselves as an obstruction tactic.

          I guess the State needs to be careful enabling torture when they may not like what they hear….. ask Umayyah ibn Khalaf.

  9. Mr. Manry, I was struck by your remarks regarding bitterness. I had a very pointed convo with myself in the throes of 3 years of 19 seizures FOLLOWING guided titration/withdrawal that took 2.5 years…after 9 years of drugging.

    I feared bitterness becoming the constant of the days I had left.
    I declared I wouldn’t give them 1 more minute of my time left…unless it was carefully compartmentalized and purposeful….Outrage…different for me than anger. And a side-event. But it’s productive and feels good-controlled. It doesn’t run the rest of my life.
    It took awhile.

    I also explored legal rep…. as psychiatry had ‘officially’ restored my credibility IN WRITING…they vacated my ‘lifelong’ bipolar diagnosis AND withdrew me off their drugs-kinda rare. I have found most folks haven’t had ‘the’ convo with an attorney’s office or attorney themselves, on this topic. I have. And heavily researched another like me who filed suit …with similar documents.
    Hard evidence is NOT the only criteria.
    I wish you good luck.

    I am not a Christian, but THIS helped me…

    “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting”. 
    Euripides.

    I got there and know I’m lucky.
    But I certainly haven’t forgotten…or have any intention of forgiving. They earned my enmity and a reckoning is coming.
    “Revenge is a dish best served cold”…is something I see sooner, rather than later, for MY former tormentors.

    Shining a clear, cold, factual light on them will be a fine day..and then, back to the beach & a great lunch.

      • Yeah, me too.

        I think Ms Hartman has an article here on MiA answering that question.

        I just realised thinking about your question, that my “dx” was unlawfully released to the ‘hospital’ from the Private Clinic which had written a report for the courts relating to an injury I sustained at my work.

        But it was only ever listed as a “Provisional Diagnosis” by the Senior Medical Officer who also wrote the fraudulent prescription to conceal the ‘spiking’ with benzos.

        The significance of which is????? I was never made into a “patient” because the Consultant Psychiatrist wrote that he could find no evidence of a ‘mental illness’.

        So the idea of me having the “dx” expunged from the records is ludicrous. The State is simply uttering with the known fraud to maintain a falsehood.

        That particular “dx” which was released, was one of three reports written by psychiatrists. The second report not preferred by my employer so they then had one produced by someone who has a reputation for ‘hatchet jobs’ (ie minimizing ‘insurance claims’ for companies prepared to pay the ‘fee’)

        The Federal Privacy Act should provide legal protection form the release of such information from a Private Clinic, but the problem being that this psychologist (with a Masters degree) had arranged to have me incapacitated with benzos put into my drink without my knowledge….. and then unlawfully detained by police (told I was an “Outpatient” of a hospital) before being locked in a cage. The “provisional Diagnosis” was done based on a three minute interview by the SMO where he found out I had studied psychology, and had a wife…….. and he then made ‘his’ diagnosis? fact is, that diagnosis is proof of the offending under the Federal Privacy Act, and was part of a large number of other offenses committed against me and the community on that day.

        They can’t expunge something that doesn’t exist, thought the State is maintaining the lie to conceal the offending.

        “Provisional Diagnosis”? If I think I have lost a golf ball off the tee, I hit a ‘provisional’, is this what this SMO is relying on to justify his ‘snow jobs’ and torture for Police?

        • Sorry, can’t edit the comment above.

          Oh wow, I’ve just figured out a way to bypass the confidentiality afforded by the Federal Privacy Act. Who’d have thought it was that easy?

          All those ‘great legal minds’ and there is a loophole the size of a Mack Truck. Well, you have to commit a series of offences for the situation to occur where you can appear to have released the ‘medical records’ lawfully but …… it’s not like police are going to do anything about an “Outpatient” making complaints when they are intoxicated by deception with date rape drugs to stupefy and commit an indictable offence right?

          Once incapacitated and in the hands of the people in the locked ward, your now “Regular Medications” (the benzos you were ‘spiked’ with to incapacitate) means you can’t consent to the release of your ‘medical records’, and it’s simply a matter of the SMO making a telephone call to the clinic psych and she can now release your records because a doctor (someone who CAN prescribe drugs for you to be ‘spiked’ with 12 hours before he even met you) has requested them, and you lost your right to consent…….. or you will, once they have ‘chemically restrained’ you, and your dribbling in a cell.

          In fact, given I was NOT an “Outpatient” and whilst I concede that I had been placed on a Form 1 and therefore may have been considered a “referred person” (only a psychiatrist can remove your right to consent, and up to that point, I had no psychiatrist) under the MH Act, I had only lost my right to liberty and significantly NOT my right to consent.

      • Ms. Byron, Please see….
        RxISK.org
        “A Unicorn: Changing a Medical Record” Parts 1-4
        By Krista Hartmann. July 30, 2018 |
        This is a detailed narrative of how events transpired. It includes more granularity of my personal path thru the quicksand to the ‘Exit’ sign.

        Madinamerica.com
        “Full Moral Status’ for Psychiatric Clients: How I Fought Back”
        Parts 1 & 2
        By Krista Hartmann -February 1, 2019
        This is a similar, but much more edited version. It includes a more detailed outline for safer involvement in the industry, should you find yourself stuck there.

        Neither article included my seizure information, following withdrawal. It was occurring as I was engaged in writing & waaay too much for me to comment on…while scrambling for help.

        It was massively heavy lifting trying to ‘educated’ my primary, neuro’s,, and bigger specialists (!) regarding studies (primarily Ho/Andreason) regarding measurable brain-changes from the drugs…AND…the microraphy I had reported to prescribers & the only 2 causes, according to Mayo, John’s Hopkins, & NIH….Muscular Sclerosis OR antipsychotic/psychotropic drug exposure. I didn”t/don’t have MS.

        Once they hear ‘bipolar disorder’ REGARDLESS of my changed paperwork, the ‘mentally ill’ goggles went on. They couldn’t separate that label from my detailed, relevant reporting…even though I had gotten to an ER during the FIRST one & was documented.
        ALSO, as most folks know, doctors tend to wander off when presented with an unknown…rather than say “I don’t know…”.
        Depending on how good your insurance is, testing will stop (& their interest) if they have to advocate for 2nd or 3rd tier tests. By then, I was on Medicaid.
        I was so so relieved they saw no TUMOR, but weren’t looking for a subcortical focal lesion….which is what causes micrography.
        Sigh.

      • Where I am (I do not receive a disability pension) it is to my benefit to leave that bipolar mess in my chart.

        It gives me the excuse to refuse drugs – “They’ll make me manic!” “They’ll make me depressed!” “Not good for my brain!”

        So far it’s working, but as we learned with COVID the medical industrial complex can turn on a dime.

  10. I am so very sorry to hear how you suffered because of gabapentin. It seems that physicians in the USA are not fully aware of the dangers of this medication. In the UK, gabapentin is a controlled substance as it should be here. My son had suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. When he developed severe back pain, gabapentin was added to the drugs he was already taking, which included a benzodiazepine. Within days, he was dead. Benzodiazepine and gabapentin should never be mixed. Hopefully, the horrible side effects you are experiencing will pass. Best of luck

    • Linda, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t begin to fathom your anger and frustration at what was done to your son.

      Here in Australia – as is likely in the USA – gabapentin and pregabalin are considered “safe alternatives” to opiates. Handed out like candy, along with the amitryptaline and Cymbalta.

      Because they are cracking down on opiates so hard here (when the OD’s are from street drugs, not prescriptions, here in Australia), docs will prescribe anything BUT what a pain patient really needs.

      We hear tales of gabapentin as a street drug in the UK, as an enhancer to other street drugs. Exactly what happened to your son – the combination.

  11. Gabapentin used to be called “neurontin” until the lawsuit. Then the drug was rebranded. It is the 15th most prescribed medication in America (nearly 10 million scripts a year). After 3 weeks of that drug (now nearly 20 years ago)… I tried to kill myself. I am not stupid. Cause and effect were too direct. I stopped the drug. And then I was slandered as “non-compliant”.
    I say “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.
    I find it really hard to believe this happened to me – all the while 10 million people a year, pay good money for this experience. I wonder what the “truth” is?

  12. Matt Manry, I am sorry to hear of your journey through the valley of the shadow of death. You have a good outlook, and you are walking by faith into restoration and freedom. Perhaps, you can help us understand how spiritual warfare has played a part as well. I like the verses you shared, and I prayed for you.
    “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:17-18).

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