When you look into the mirror, what do you see? Do you see the beauty in your eyes, the soul which is real? Do you see the real, unique you? Or do you look at it and think: “I am not worthy, I am a failure, I am a patient or was, I am weak. I can’t make it.” Or maybe you avoid the mirror altogether, like I did.
Start looking at it, have a glance. Approach it every day for a short while and stare. Stare and see. See what the mirror is hiding, what it hasn’t yet revealed to you. Look at yourself carefully, and notice the subtle movement of a beautiful, even if very broken, soul — broken by the misery of society, broken by the mental health narrative, broken by stigma, broken by unkind humans.
From here I can see you; I am almost watching you. I can feel your sorrow and frustration. I can sense your sadness and your low self-worth.
But it is you I love and cherish, because it is you that makes it worth it. The world is a really boring place without ‘mad’ people, you see. Those who can’t SEE and HEAR live in a mundane and often cruel place. They think of very mundane things, such as which car to buy, where to find the next dirty celebrity story, how to laugh at the expense of the other (often you).
But you and me, we are different. We live indeed in a different world. We live in the world of magic, where angels appear, where voices scare but also reveal, where visions show us the other, real, parallel world. It is there, the other reality, and it is also here, and you were blessed one day to notice its beauty, to discover its hidden magical secrets, to see fairies, and remember your past lives. The diagnosis of ‘schizophrenia’ was delivered by a person who is simply envious of your ability, because it is difficult to control, and those without our gift want to control. They enjoy the silly, distorted power of denigrating people, and proclaiming them as ‘ill’. They enjoy thinking that they are ‘normal’, while it is in normality that one can die from boredom and fatigue.
This Christmas I want you to wake yourself up. I want you to approach the mirror from a different space, and say to it, loud and clear: “I am beautiful, I am gifted, I am unique.” Say it, say it with force, say it until you start believing it.
You are beautiful, you are gifted, and you are unique. You have the powers that the others don’t understand. Don’t try to prove to them anything, claim your powers back to enjoy them for YOU. It was given in order that, once you realize, that it is you who is special, you will be able to know: yes, magic is real, and yes, I am unique, special, and beautiful.
God blesses only very few of us with such an ability. And that’s why you have to fight for this right. Don’t fight with the psychiatrists, don’t fight with the mental health narrative. Just leave it. Because once YOU leave, they will lose their subject, they will lose their raison d’etre. They will find something new, but YOU and me, we will be ready, on the other side, to help those who come under their radar, to help them in their journey, to help them navigate their gift.
Don’t forget to take what it is yours, though. If you need medication to sleep, just take it, but monitor your own dose. If you are dependent on some medicine, there is nothing wrong in taking it, provided it does help, and you are still yourself at your full capacity.
The distortion is so big nowadays that we tend to deny also things that can help. And so, learn to become a trickster, become a coyote. Native Americans left us this wisdom, and it is a wisdom that is indeed very powerful, and that’s why the powers that be tried so hard to destroy it. It isn’t paranoia when you think of such things, it is simply having a glance at the door to the truth. There are bad people around, there are people who want to destroy what is real, and there are bad witches around.
But trust me. Goodness does prevail in the end. You are the good one and that’s why you suffer. That’s the only reason for all your predicaments. Because you have a soul, and not everyone around you has one.
We will prevail, YOU and me, trust me, please. I can’t make it without YOU, and I need you. Because earth is real, it is beautiful, it is unique.
And it is OURS.
This Christmas, see a different you. See how I see YOU. I see the beauty in your eyes, I see that it is YOU who is real. I see love in your eyes, I see the fairies.
Pamper yourself, have a nice drink, buy something nice, eat something tasteful, listen to some nice music, have a walk in nature. Talk to birds and listen to them, trying to heal you. Look into the sky, at the moon, into the stars.
Because Jesus was real, and he was YOU, and I was HIM.
Together we will make it. God is real, and he will help.
I promise. I have to. Because, I am also YOU, and I want to be here.
Mad in America hosts blogs by a diverse group of writers. These posts are designed to serve as a public forum for a discussion—broadly speaking—of psychiatry and its treatments. The opinions expressed are the writers’ own.