I Can Barely Breathe

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I tried to kill myself, desperate to escape the pain in February, 1984, at age 17. I survived. I was punished for the attempt, for the rest of my life…

You see, I had just been to see my first psychiatrist. Out of worry, my mother had called my high school to get Dr. Grahm’s name. For a year, I had had no friends, my GPA had dropped, I had stopped showering regularly, and was secretly binge eating. I was miserable but had no clue as to what I was experiencing. Back then, people did not talk about mental illness. Also, in my family, “emotions” were not allowed to be expressed. We were to act “pleasant, with pleasant looks on our faces—at all times!” or face admonishment. So, when I met this psychiatrist, I had no idea how to talk to him. I feared the consequences of being negative, and literally had no vocabulary for expressing myself.

I only remember bits and pieces of this appointment. I remember him saying it was normal to be depressed when on one’s period, which really embarrassed me. I remember the threat of family therapy. Walking out of his office I remember ruminating about two outcomes. First, if this is all “normal” that means I must endure it for the rest of my life. Second, now I have really done it! I’m going to be forced to publicly reveal my feelings to my feared stepfather who will then punish me at home. My depressed self thought death was my only option. I swallowed a bottle of Tylenol.

psychiatrists break bodies and brains
Photo by Lori Daniels

Dr. Grahm was notified of my suicide attempt, promptly hospitalizing me on an adolescent psych unit. The first thing he said to me on the unit was, “Thought you tricked me, didn’t you?” I was horrified! Speechless. I really had tried to honestly communicate with him. I had gone to him in good faith, for help! He, the adult doctor, had failed me! But I was the one he blamed. After this accusation, he asked how I was doing at the hospital. In the just two previous days, my 17-year-old self still had not learned how to effectively communicate my feelings, so I just said, “My stomach hurts.”

“OK,” he smiled. “I’ll give you a medicine called Melaril to help.” Melaril is actually a first-generation antipsychotic withdrawn from the market in 2005 because it caused severe cardiac arrhythmias.

Upon taking this “stomach medication,” I started to have all kinds of strange sensations. I began to behave in ways I never had before. In response, Dr. Grahm increased the dose, then experimented with other pills. I hadn’t known it was possible, but I just kept feeling even worse over the next months.

The first thing I noticed was this insatiable thirst. I couldn’t read anymore because the words were too blurry. Then, I couldn’t sit still. I became agitated and irritable. One day a fellow patient said something mean and I heard myself threaten to stab her. I attacked my roommate while she lay in bed. I picked up a chair and threw it at my beloved mother on visiting day. For these violent angry outbursts, huge scary men in uniforms wrestled me into restraints. I was injected in my leg and left in an empty white room for hours at a time, not being able to relieve my constant incredible urge to move.

One night, I broke my makeup mirror into pieces and tried to slit my wrists. It was too dull to be lethal, but the blood it did draw provided at least some relief. So, I hid the pieces of glass all around the unit and cut again and again over the next several years.

Yes! I was depressed before the hospital. Yes! I needed help! But I never felt or did any of these other things until drugs were administered.

After three months of this decline into madness, Grahm took me off all the drugs, except the Melaril, and for the next month I received a series of ECT treatments. After the ECT, I was discharged.

Two months later, with three month’s worth of Melaril tablets in my suitcase, I went off to college. I lasted six weeks. I slept through my alarm every day and missed my morning classes. Mentally, I couldn’t comprehend or focus on the academics of the afternoon classes. I coped with the social aspects by heavily drinking. I was put on dorm probation. I was flunking out. I was so ashamed of myself for being such a cowardly, lazy, no-good failure. I wanted to die. I dropped out.

After being notified that I’d quit university, Grahm then arranged for me to be admitted to a renowned mental institution, in October of 1984. I was an inpatient on a unit for three years and then moved into their halfway house and became an outpatient (with frequent short-term inpatient stays) for the next 25 years.

The medication pile-up, augmented by multiple series of ECT, started again and lasted for the next 38 years. I’ve been on first- and second-generation antipsychotics and antidepressants, multiple mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety medications. I have this clear memory of my long-term unit psychiatrist emphatically explaining to me that the only thing that was causing my problems was a chemical imbalance and that I would be even worse if I wasn’t taking the medication. I never once thought that maybe the medications themselves were inducing a chemical imbalance causing great harm to my mind and body.

Then, in 1990, I was told to take the new miracle “treatment resistant” drug Clozaril. It changed things for me. I moved into my own place. I slowly completed a degree from a local college, taking two classes at a time with no other job. It was awesome! It truly was a miracle! Or was it just because Clozaril rarely has akathisia as a side effect—the akathisia I had been experiencing with the previous drugs, that had been misdiagnosed as mental illness?

I slept 12-14 hours a day. I drooled a lot. I gained a ton of weight. I also started having weird new symptoms. Lots of worrying, fears and behaviors I hadn’t previously experienced.

After graduating, I held down a part-time job for five years, at a local children’s theater. I loved it! At this time, I also got involved with an abusive partner for eight years. Not surprisingly, I became miserable. Even though they were aware of my abusive relationship, instead of addressing it, my treatment team started piling on the drugs again and along with the Clozaril, high doses of Wellbutrin XL and Lamictal became my cocktail. The drugs didn’t keep my alcoholic partner from beating me, but I was able to keep my theater job.

My chronic poor concentration and memory problems angered my girlfriend. So, to help with that, the doctors did a ‘brain map’ which showed “the brain waves all over my brain were extremely fast.” I was diagnosed with “over-focused ADD.” I found out recently from a neurologist I saw that “fast brain waves are most likely due to psych medication.”

In October of 2003, after eight years, thankfully, my abusive relationship ended. Remember those new worries and fears I mentioned earlier? They increased exponentially. I started wearing latex gloves 24/7; I quit my beloved job, fearing exposure to germs; I isolated in my home and spent all my awake time disinfecting it. So, the doctors diagnosed me with OCD and wrote more prescriptions. Now I know, though it has never been mentioned to me, that Clozaril is well-known to trigger OCD.

In 2008, I left town to live with my newly divorced mother. Practically as soon as I got off the plane, I was diagnosed with a life-threatening autoimmune disease, idiopathic thrombocytopenia purpura. A low red blood cell count causes this disease. Clozaril can potentially cause a low white blood cell count, so my new psychiatrist took me off the Clozaril cold turkey.

I was horribly ill from Clozaril withdrawal. Plus, the hematologist prescribed a six-week treatment of oral corticosteroid. Thankfully, the autoimmune disease went into remission, but the prednisone triggered a bipolar mixed episode. The OCD did improve after the Clozaril withdrawal but not much, and I dove into a severe tailspin for about four years.

To replace the Clozaril, I was prescribed 1350mg of Seroquel. I was still on the Wellbutrin XL (450mg) and Lamictal (400mg). Plus, he added 1mg PRN of Klonopin, three times daily. I was a zombie, to say the least.

Before moving to my mother’s, I established care at an outpatient psychiatric teaching clinic to continue my medication. But that meant a new psychiatrist every year. Each year brought medication changes. I was switched from Seroquel to Geodon, then another doctor switched me to Abilify. Then the next doctor added Adderall. It provided zero help with concentration, but it did help me stay awake for more hours in the day than before.

After switching to Abilify, I started experiencing restlessness again. But the symptoms were much milder than before, less blatant. It was still uncomfortable, and the uncontrollable movements made me self-conscious. I’ve complained to every new psychiatrist, but they just made jokes and brushed me off, saying it was not a big deal (to them).

It was difficult because Medicare refused to pay for this type of therapist, but I found an OCD specialist who offered a fee reduction, which I borrowed money to pay. I worked hard doing exposure response therapy and improved enough to take off the gloves and start volunteering in 2014.

I tried several times over the years to take myself off the meds. After a few weeks of the visibly painful withdrawal, I would be committed and literally forced to take meds until I was “med compliant” again. Mostly, I chose to dutifully and diligently take my meds. I believed I was sick, and I believed it was the responsible thing to do.

In 2020, because the OCD was still there, my newest psychiatrist prescribed a “high dose” SSRI treatment. The Luvox made me nauseous. So, my psychiatrist switched to an extended-release form of Luvox. I tolerated that well. The regular Luvox was covered, but Medicare would not pay for extended-release unless my doctor filled out special forms each month. Which he did.

But in 2021, my new psychiatrist wasn’t so willing to go to the trouble and, despite my nausea complaint, would only prescribe the type of Luvox that Medicare would automatically cover. Also, in December 2021, that same psychiatrist wanted to switch me to a new antipsychotic. He tapered me off the Abilify by January 1, 2022. At that time, I secretly chose not to take the new antipsychotic prescription. Because of the nausea, I finally stopped taking the Luvox, cold turkey, in March 2022. I began SSRI withdrawal a couple weeks later.

April, 2022: I am on Wellbutrin XL, Lamictal, Adderal and Trazadone. I am no longer taking Luvox or Abilify. On April 8th, my wonderful, healthy partner of seven years took me to Hawaii for two weeks! Other than a month of severe, debilitating Luvox withdrawal nausea, I’d been doing okay.

The day before we left, I was feeling like I’d had several cups of coffee. I just thought my partner had mistakenly made me regular instead of decaf that morning. Little did I know, our journey to paradise was also the beginning of my journey into akathisia and withdrawal HELL! The vacation was a nightmare, and I still haven’t woken up.

I can barely take care of myself now. I cannot manage household chores, cook, clean… I can no longer drive. I’m suicidal all the time. All I can manage is to keep existing. The horrible symptoms can’t even be described, there are no words in our language for them. From the minute I wake up to the minute I sleep at night, waking up several times, I suffer. I want to die. I do not kill myself ONLY out of love and respect for my beautiful partner and wonderful mother. My amazing partner has stuck with me, taking care of me and my mother. I fully plan to kill myself when they die.

Adding to my nightmare of the past year, the discoveries I’ve made have rocked my whole world to its core. To my utter shock and dismay, I now believe that the drugs, made by big pharma, that I was forced to take, by the psychiatric industry, for 38 years… have no scientific evidence for the treatment of any ‘mental illness’. Contrary to common belief, the “chemical imbalance” theory was debunked in the 1980s, just as I was told I had one. The scientific community still has no knowledge of the causes of mental illness.

I never had a chemical imbalance. Well, I certainly did after all those drugs! And I do now—because of those drugs!

After Hawaii, I sought help. So far, I’ve been ignored, denied, threatened. I’ve been passed off. To this day, no medical doctor has acknowledged that I have anything other than “mental illness.” Although several non-psychiatric doctors have diagnosed me with conditions resulting from psych drug side-effects.

When complaining of uncontrollable restless movements and extreme agitation, my psychiatrist told me to go back on an antipsychotic. When I asked, “Will that make the movements go away?” he said, “Maybe, not sure.”

Finally, last summer, I put my foot down and tapered off the rest of my last cocktail—Abilify, Lamictal, Luvox, Adderall, Trazadone and Wellbutrin XL. The withdrawal is excruciating but I won’t take their evil drugs anymore, even if it is killing me. Unfortunately, I am still suffering from akathisia, OCD, high cholesterol, rectocele, incontinence, migraines, and low cognitive functioning.

The past year has been spent waiting for doctor’s appointments. The neurologists and psychiatrists bounce me back and forth between them. None will diagnose me with anything, other than the psychiatrists, who now just say my mood is “unstable” and threaten that if I don’t take the medications, I’ll end up in the hospital, where they will be forced to medicate me. When I bring up the word akathisia, the psychiatrists say I might have it, but they have no experience treating it. They tell me to go see a neurologist and wish me the best.

The two neurologists I have seen are completely stumped. After ruling out restless leg syndrome, a neurologist told me to see a psychiatrist. When I mentioned akathisia, she admitted she has never had a patient with it. Then she added that I couldn’t possibly have akathisia. She explained to me that if I had akathisia, I would not be able to sit in that chair talking to her. Never mind the fact that, for the less than ten minutes I was sitting there, I was rocking from side to side, backwards and forwards, my feet tapping, squirming because my buttocks muscles were squeezing and releasing and I was wringing my hands while sitting in the chair. I said, “Oh. I guess there aren’t different degrees of akathisia.” But silently I screamed, “I am so sorry doctor, that my restlessness and distress isn’t bad enough for you!!!” She replied to my verbal comment with, “Well, I guess there could be different degrees of any illnesses. If you would like to make a follow up, I’m very busy. But maybe my assistant can see you in a few months.”

It’s 2023. I’m off the drugs. The brain damage hasn’t healed at all. I have no idea if it’s permanent. No one does.

I’m 56 now. Because of these drugs, I’ve been on Social Security disability my entire adult life. The doctors said not to work full time and all my part-time jobs ended because of my ‘mental illness’ symptoms. People on disability have very small incomes. One is allowed less than a $100 balance in one’s bank account, even if there were to be enough money left over to save.

I’ve wanted to explore alternative medicine, but Medicare doesn’t pay for that. And I don’t make enough money to pay out-of-pocket medical expenses. Even if I were to borrow money, these practitioners have never even heard the term akathisia. However, they will enthusiastically believe the psychiatric drugs caused brain damage and will take money to treat it. Should I trust them?

Next time I’m reviewed for disability, I won’t have a psychiatrist to sign off because they won’t treat me anymore unless I take their prescriptions. If I’m not actively under a psychiatrist’s care, Social Security will take the only income and the only insurance I have away from me.

It doesn’t matter that my brain is still so damaged that I can’t work even a volunteer job. It doesn’t matter that I’d love to be in treatment and get help but the only treatment available are the drugs that caused the very damage I’m now dealing with.

At the beginning of 2022, I had accepted my life and was grateful it wasn’t worse. I didn’t complain that I never had what most people got in life. I believed the doctors when they told my parents that I would never have the ability to support myself and have a family of my own. I trusted that the drugs were necessary and helpful. I just thought it was unfortunate that I had been born with a handicap. I just followed doctors’ orders and lived the best way I knew how.

I can’t help but think, knowing what I know now, that I’ve been betrayed and abused by an inept mental health system. What a victim I’ve been. My life was ruined by harmful, ineffectual drugs that psychiatrists literally physically forced me to take. Now, finally off the drugs, I have no hope for health. The psychiatrists broke my body and my brain and now they are washing their hands of me.

When I think about what has been done to me and what has been taken from me, I can barely breathe.

psychiatrists break bodies and brains
“I See Now” by Lori Daniels

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97 COMMENTS

  1. As a psychiatric mechanic, I can think of all sorts of things, from test taking to supplementing. Unfortunately, I’m just a “mechanic”, so I’d be deleted for content. There are two keys that might pass: (A) is your cholesterol still high (?), and (B) is there a physician in your town who treats this with Vitamin B3 as his/her mainstay?

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  2. Holy crap, I have so much in common with your story, except a psychiatrist stopped my meds cocktail without taper (yes, withdrawal was hell), I didn’t have as much ECT, and I acquired a different autoimmune disorder (from Abilify) called IgA vasculitis. If you want some feeling of solidarity, I wrote my story for MiA too, and it’s here: https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/01/reckless-psychiatric-treatment-spun-me-out-of-control/
    I don’t desire to die as strongly or as often any more 3 years into recovery from psych drugs, but at age 59, I’ll never fully recover either.
    -Lisa Wallace

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  3. Thanks for sharing! I haven’t read the whole story, but I have a response here:

    “Next time I’m reviewed for disability, I won’t have a psychiatrist to sign off because they won’t treat me anymore unless I take their prescriptions. If I’m not actively under a psychiatrist’s care, Social Security will take the only income and the only insurance I have away from me.”
    == I took a class from Wildflower Alliance. It was great for me. I have learned from the instructor that one can accept a psychiatrist’s care for the purpose of Social Security and other benefits, if any, but just don’t take the pills. I thought that was a really good idea!

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    • People have been approved to remain on disability for psychiatric diagnoses, even if not taking medication, based on proven record of intensity of adverse effects, becoming ill from meds, etc., so stopping psychiatric treatment is not necessarily a death sentence for receiving SSDI benefits.

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      • Lisa, frequently psych survivors are NOT approved for SSDI, as was my experience. When I applied for SSDI, and medically explained to the non-medically trained SSDI psychologist, how I was made sick with the psych drugs. She denied me coverage, and told me to go pay to study public health. Although, I do confess, I applied for SSDI more out of curiosity than need, and did not fight the denial.

        “Never mind the fact that, for the less than ten minutes I was sitting there, I was rocking from side to side, backwards and forwards, my feet tapping, squirming because my buttocks muscles were squeezing and releasing and I was wringing my hands while sitting in the chair.”

        Head shifting too? But yes, most definitely, those are common symptoms of akathisia – been there, done that.

        “I can’t help but think, knowing what I know now, that I’ve been betrayed and abused by an inept mental health system.”

        You are correct.

        “Now, finally off the drugs, I have no hope for health.” Oh, maintain the hope, please, Lori. Since God created us in His own image, so our brains are “neuroplastic,” thus have the ability to heal themselves over time.

        Although, I can’t say some of the common adverse effects of the psych drugs, may be healed. But I can say, I have learned how to use their antidepressant induced “brain zaps” to eliminate almost any headache, in a NY second.

        “When I think about what has been done to me and what has been taken from me, I can barely breathe.” Yes, I agree, the psychiatric industry’s systemic betrayal of their “patients,” and all of humanity, is mind boggling, and staggeringly appalling in scope.

        But please maintain hope on your healing journey, Lori, you can do it! Because God gave you a neuroplastic brain, that can help heal itself, over time.

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    • Thank you for pointing out how important this life experience is. I commend Lori for her words of truth and how well written this is and how it will help the rest of us “road warriors for mental health” carry her words with us. I have been able to share this knowing how it will impact our future steps.

      Thank you Lori and blessings on your journey. You are an excellent writer!

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      • You mentioned my journey. I am now going to choose my own path. I am no longer going to let the doctors or the mental health system decide the parameters of my life. I am choosing a path towards activism in bringing awareness to the regular hardworking members of society that psych drugs are the vessels being used for financial and corporate control of the economy and public services. Even if I’m accused of having grandiose manic delusions for saying something like that.

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      • “road warriors for mental health”

        Now we’re talking. Not like those big talking small fries (“Death on Two Legs” by Queen) at the Mental Health Law Centre who claim to be ‘advocates’, and all the while are conspiring with the State to throw their victims under a bus or knife them in the back? Or those people who talk about how the Germans would never have gotten away with what they did had they been present when the National Socialist’s took control of the State apparatus?

        Someone who will roll with the blows despite the odds being against them?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ9UQKBUrsg&t=5s

        Like this guy. Not gunna let them hold him back, a true ‘road warrior’

        Mind you, I do think there is something to be said about Colonel Giap of the Vietnamese Peoples Army, who, when asked how he was going to defeat the might of the American military said “We are not going to fight in the American way, we will fight in the Vietnamese way”. And didn’t he bring them to their knees?

        They can’t slaughter the truth in the Emergency Dept, only the people speaking it.

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        • I watched that video. My understanding after watching/listening to that YouTube video—It’s a civilian man who was run into by a police car then being kicked and beaten by the police . A man who the police were told, by hospital staff, had a diagnosis of bipolar and that this man had left the ER waiting room without permission, after waiting in the queue for over 24 hours and not getting admitted.

          So, did he deserve to be chased down, run over and beaten for that?

          I wonder… if he had not had a diagnosis of a mental illness and had just been a regular man waiting for a bed because he had, let’s say, chest pains, got angry and impatient and stormed out, he would have been beaten for that?????

          (I wonder where that guy is now? Two years later)

          Outrageous!!!

          This system takes human beings and makes them “less than”
          We all have a right to be treated like full fledged human beings. Because we all are, even if we have mental/emotional problems.
          Those policeman thought they had the right to “control” that man because someone said he was mentally ill. And in that case, control meant using physical force. That physical force harmed him. He ended up in a medically induced coma!

          Psych drugs are also used to control the mentally ill people’s behavior. They also harm us. These psych drugs are harmful. I am living proof. I have a list of physical diagnoses from these drugs!! And there are tons of people out there just like me.

          Please! Please start connecting with us. Treat us like humans. Please stop controlling us.

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          • Yes, you get the picture Lori.

            And the point I’d like to make is that the way police are being used to cause “acute stress reactions” in citizens by ‘mental health professionals’.

            I’ve no idea if this man was a “patient” or not. he may have had a ‘treating psychiatrist’ and would therefore constitute by definition of the Mental Health Act a “mental patient”. This would justify the ‘treatment’ and make it all perfectly lawful.

            In fact, the standard of “personal observation” within the last 48 hours would definitely have been met, so a call to police to detain would have been fine. In my situation, the Private Clinic psychologist hadn’t seen me for nearly a month, which makes referral unlawful. Though I understand why they might want to be able to make referrals twenty, thirty years after seeing their ‘client’. Imagine, speak to a psychologist once at school, and be referred by them when your 80 years old? There is a protection in the law (Time limit on Referral of 48 hours after personal observation) against such abuse of position.

            But consider, in my situation I was NOT an “Outpatient” of the hospital concerned ( I had no ‘treating psychiatrist’, so such a call was a criminal offense), but they called the Police and requested their “assistance” with an “Outpatient” when they also knew I had been ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs and was about to have a knife planted on me to justify the use of violence by police…… why would they want police to be violent towards me? Because they KNEW I would refuse to speak to a Community Nurse, and therefore could not be “verballed”. Such actions constitute acts of State sanctioned torture. See Article 1 of the Convention against the use of Torture.

            It’s State sanctioned torture disguised as ‘mental health care’.

            The man in the video? Well, yes, he was placed into an “induced coma”, something which was planned for me to ensure that my ability to make a complaint was limited. I’m certain there are others here who have received the same sort of ‘treatment’ (commonly referred to an ‘snow jobs’). It’s quite a disadvantage to be dribbling on the floor of a cell for weeks on end, with people calling your “observed behaviour” (see the letter from the Chief Psychiatrist stating that the “justifiable explanation” offered that it is the drugs causing the behaviour does not mean that the person is not mentally ill and requires ‘treatment’ with the drugs causing the problem) a mental illness

            The hospital is now in a position to manufacture a legal narrative they would prefer (“editing” is what they call this forge and uttering), in case lets say, the man wasn’t actually a mental patient…. and had not been admitted and was therefore actually free to leave the hospital of his own volition? But once they forge the documents they require for others to utter with. I assume the same is true of the Euthanasia Act, and in fact we know this is the case with a doctor asked to back date a death certificate, for a nurse to utter with. It was always going to be the case in a system where “editing” is the solution to their misconduct….

            In that situation (man was NOT a “patient”) Police would be in a position to be charged with assault, unless of course the forged documents meant that the man was a “patient”, in which case……. And there is the ‘good faith defense’ if they were unaware they had been lied to about the mans status. In that case they should pursue charges against the person who created the false belief….. except they don’t want to because they have an arrangement where they are torturing people with them.

            And the mans lawyer? Best he accepts the forged documents and does exactly what he is told….. because otherwise they will make HIM into an “outpatient” and he will be ‘treated’ for his “hallucinations” as a result of a Police referral. Which just happens to be the very same drugs that put the other man into an “induced coma”.

            Lawyer? Noooooo he’s a ‘mental patient’, and can no longer practice law. I’d be seeing a dentist if I were you.

            So, the hospital is in a position where they can arrange to have citizens ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs (to be concealed with a forged prescription after the citizen is converted to patient), plant a weapon on them when they collapse from the drugs, and then set police on them to ‘treat’ them in this manner to ensure their compliance in opening their mouths to ‘confess’ to the mental illness they are about to be diagnosed with? Any complaining and they are laid out with a ‘chemical kosh’, and slandered with labels, their personal confidential medical records released in a manner to character assassinate………. and my State authorities can’t see why i’m trying to make a complaint?

            What really amazes me is that there isn’t a soul who will stand alongside me and also say ‘This isn’t right’. They’re more than happy with the situation, and in fact have examined the facts and forged a false legal narrative to cover up the truth. And exposing that means ……… further concealment because of the way these ‘methods’ enable acts of State sanctioned arbitrary detention and torture. We couldn’t possibly have the public aware that this is how well ‘protected’ they are from rogue public officers, using known torture methods and concealing it by slandering their victims as ‘mental patients’.

            Police provide mental health with the questions, and they ‘treat’ and then ‘dispose’ of the victims once they get the answers they wish to hear.

            Confidentiality? None of it, in fact I KNOW that a psychologist I was speaking to was asking questions for police when they were concerned about “Who else has the documents?” proving what I am alleging.

            Confidential informant is the claim……. if I were allowed access to a legal representative, i’d ask about how lawful such a breach of trust and confidence actually was…. but I’m being denied legal representation as a direct result of the State not liking the facts/truth.

            It really is what Franz Fanon called an “elegant method of overcoming ‘resistance'”. A fancy way of saying torture. The problem for me was this was done solely because I had a disagreement with my in laws…. seems a bit of an over reaction until you look a little closer at the motives of the conspirators (my wife and the Private Clinic psychologist)….. THEN and only then does it make perfect sense. What would be exposed had anyone taken the time to look? (and someone did, or they wouldn’t have been rudely interrupted in the E.D.)

            The path all the way to the attempt to murder me in the E.D. littered with offending and public sector misconduct. A Prof. saying to me after identifying the cover up “These things tend to get a little out of hand”…… and the State prefers that the complainants are dead so…… gross criminal negligence is the solution. Another “unintended negative outcome” which hardly surprises the community given the complete failure of mental health services. They are highly effective at “editing” legal narratives though, it’s a shame that doesn’t transfer into what they describe as being ‘care’.

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          • I think what is important to understand is that I asked my wife how on earth she had managed to have this done to me, and why she had told ‘them’ that I was a wife beater.

            “You just have to know what to tell them” was the response about how to have it done to someone.

            The key words in the Triage documents completed from her phone call are “Boans has been seeing a psychologist at XXX”

            This directed the hospital to call the psychologist at her day job. A couple of points about this. (1) they had deliberately made sure the hospital didn’t call the psychologist at the Private Clinic where she had taken my confidential medical records from. They knew there was no lawful way to refer me for an examination. (2) a psychologist with a Masters degree, NOT a doctor, had conspired with my wife to administer benzos without my knowledge KNOWING I had never taken such drugs. This was the use of these drugs to commit other more serious offenses. (3) it was the Private Clinic psychologist who started the slander about me being a wife beater to enflame the violence towards me by the police and mental health services. My wife stating that she had categorically not said any such thing. She may have lied to me about that, but given who it was doing the ‘verballing’ the clinic psychologist is the obvious instigator. (4) I was NOT a ‘patient’ of the Private Clinic, and had attended there to obtain a report from a psychiatrist for my lawyer in a compensation claim against my employer. That matter had been settled, and my ‘business’ with the clinic had ended.

            I was free to go as a citizen with full rights.

            And to conspire to procure the apprehension or detention of a person NOT suffering from a mental illness (as defined in the Mental Health Act) is a criminal offence. Did the Private Clinic psychologist know this? Ignorance is no excuse….. and believe me, given what she and her psychiatrist husband tried to arrange for me, they were fully aware these were crimes.

            The other point which is of significance in the Triage documents is the request for an “acute stress reaction”…. this is a ‘coded comment’. It makes my wife sound like my ‘carer’. This is how mental health professionals make a request for someone to be beaten by police. As you can see in the video, the man was suffering from such an “acute stress reaction” after police had detained him. He required treatment for his “observed behaviours” and was thus put into an induced coma for his mental illness, and NOT the beating by police.

            So my wife making such a statement to the mental health professionals would have sounded as though she had a “sophisticated knowledge of the system”. She was letting them know they would need to apply torture to have me speak, though it isn’t actually defined as torture as a result of the loophole in the Convention against the use of Torture…… Torture “does not include pain or suffering arising only from, inherent in or incidental to lawful sanctions.” That lawful sanction comes from the person being defined as ‘mental patient’ under the Mental Health Act. Citizen, it’s torture. Mental patient, it’s not….. “edit” the documents post hoc and like magic, torture becomes ‘treatment’.

            I say torture…. why?

            There are two DO NOTS associated with an “acute stress reaction” (which should be known by psychologists and public officers who have been trained in what does and does not constitute acts of torture)

            DO NOT prescribe benzodiazepines.

            DO NOT force the individual to talk

            Now, I got ‘spiked’ with benzodiazepines, had an “acute stress reaction” induced by police (at the request of someone who KNEW I had been ‘spiked’), and was then forced to talk to the Community Nurse at the point of a weapon so he could forge a document which made his kidnapping appear to be lawful.

            Article 1 of the Convention against the use of Torture?

            Sure you haven’t seen the documents I have, and I might be making this shit up….. but let me tell you the hospital concerned was absolutely vicious in what they tried to do to conceal these facts from public view. Their already bad reputation, and their ‘little arrangement’ with police in jeopardy.

            Now that I was in custody, the Senior Medical Officer could use the information he had obtained unlawfully from the Private Clinic psychologist to justify his arbitrary detention and torture…. concealing the ‘spiking’ with a forged prescription (making drugs I had never taken my “Regular Medications”), and thus concealing the torture by the Community Nurse (and police who also took a turn interrogating me without informing me of my rights, or that I had been ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs). He also took the information he had received unlawfully from the Private Clinic psychologist and presented it as his “Provisional Diagnosis” (a plagiarist), thus concealing that crime from view. It creates the appearance that his actions were justified because I was a ‘mental patient’…… any problems can now be sorted out via slander, uttering with forged documents and forced treatments.

            Disgusting to think that what is defined as torture becomes treatment by calling the victim a patient huh? But it does explain why your search for help has resulted in the damage you describe.

            Though I guess the same is true of a cardiologist who decides to open up someone’s chest in an alley way, and forge the consent to operate when there is an “unintended negative outcome”. It’s no longer murder when the ‘patient’ dies from complications with the surgery. We might consider him a butcher, but the matter gets referred to the AMA and not police, who would find “insufficient evidence” as a result of not taking documents they know are usually forgeries. They are aware of what “editing” means, in as much as they know what a request for an “acute stress reaction” is. Hence they will arrest and refer you for treatment should you turn up in a police station with documented proof of crimes committed by mental health services.

            Who would have thought we would get to a point where doctors can have women they have never met restrained in the street by police to do emergency breast examinations without consent? Their anosognosia justifying the procedure. Anybody else it’d be called sexual assault. “edit” = “patient” = referral.

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          • I can see how people might be confused about the whole situation. That’s the point of scams…..

            The police jumped you in your bed Boans, that means they referred you to the Community Nurse after ‘patting you down’ and not finding the knife your wife planted on you after being instructed as to when to put it there. That is, when the Community Nurse informed her that police services had been procured.

            Police grabbed me and referred me to the Community Nurse….. gotta be all lawful right?

            Well, if police had made a referral to mental health services under s’ 195 of the Mental Health Act, they would need “reasonable grounds” to do so.

            What did they observe about my behaviour that would constitute “reasonable grounds”? I was collapsed in my bed as a result of being ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs, they woke me up at the point of a weapon, searched me and then told me there were some people that wished to speak to me in my dining room. They thought it was my Community Nurse as a result of …… a lie.

            Reasonable? Perhaps they arrested me for the knife they were told I was in possession of? Well, even then they would still need a reason for referring me for an assessment…. he said he was Jesus or something (he’s not a Christian? Doesn’t matter, no one ever checks our forgeries. The Chief Psychiatrist utters with them in response to complaints)….. but that isn’t what occurred.

            Here’s the kicker. Had the Community Nurse obtained a Police referral under s. 195 of the MHA, I feel certain he would have listed that fact in his documentation. So what is there in his documentation? Apart from the fact he was completing Forms for an “Outpatient” before he even left the hospital? Lets just skip the bit where you are given a diagnosis by a psychiatrist and become a ‘patient’, that will be sorted later…. for now, we want to remove your human rights and have you bashed so you will talk to us so we can help you.

            A call to police for assistance with an “Outpatient” of his hospital. “Job Number XXXXXX” Was he confused perhaps? Did he mistakenly think I was an “Outpatient” of his fine establishment, the Ariel Castro Memorial Hospital? No, the documents clearly show he was fully aware that I was NOT an “Outpatient”, and that what he was doing was criminal (I say this as a result of seeing the training manual from the Office of the Chief Psychiatrist for Authorised Mental Health Practitioners, where they are directed to s. 336 of the Criminal Code and the consequences for committing this particular offence).

            It does of course all appear to be lawful to his colleagues, a man delivered in a Police van would be assumed to be a “police referral”, as opposed to a man who had been ‘poisoned’ by his wife being delivered in an ambulance for a health check as a result of the poisoning.

            And quite clever in it’s simplicity, lie to police to create a false belief that someone with rights is an “Outpatient” with a weapon. Haha, surprise. It provides mental health services with kidnapping and torture capabilities. And Police will actively assist in their offending, even refusing to take the documented proof of it and making referrals back to the criminals.

            And the Minister says, once she has been informed that the legal narrative has been “edited” and your right to legal representation has been denied….. “You better get yourself a lawyer”. I had one Minister, and the hospital sent them fraudulent documents…. which you would be aware of…. though I get it that you think police got the other ones back before that was done. And will you try to ‘shoot the messenger’ for a second time, while others are all watching? And laughing at your exposed dereliction of duty

            Suspect on reasonable grounds that an offence carrying a prison term of more than 2 years should be reported immediately upon becoming aware, to the Corruption watchdog. Failure to do so is an offense And you had the documents I have in my possession in your hands? Suspect? It was patently obvious that the offenses occurred, and we know you didn’t report…. you said so in Parliament. That’s the thing about criminal cover ups, you had better make sure the proof of your offending isn’t still available as a result of police incompetence.

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          • The FOI Officer and the process were particularly helpful in revealing what the hospital administrators were and were not aware of.

            The concealment of the ‘spiking’ with date rape drugs was part of the original redactions, though once the FOI Officer had it pointed out that I was not anyone’s ‘patient’ and my wife was not my ‘carer’, and that her refusal to hand over my records was a criminal offence, then she did hand over that part of the documentation.

            What she didn’t hand over was the proof that the hospital was aware that I was NOT their “Outpatient” AND the involvement of the police. That little bit of information was of course something they wouldn’t want the public or anyone else being aware of……. that the Community Nurse (on the instructions of others) is calling police and lying to kidnap (arbitrarily detain) anyone in the community they want to.

            It’s a service police are providing gratis, and you know, the law tends to get in the way of allowing people to be tortured in such places, and you guys understand right? Police get something in return…. though you wouldn’t want to look at the success of the ‘treatments’ administered at the request of police. Unless of course you define success in a very loose kind of fashion. Euphemistically, in as much as the ‘delousing’ in Auschwitz was ‘effective’. Extra judicials started back on the very same day as I was tortured and kidnapped, with a fellow called Anwar al Awlaki, killed without trial with a Hellfire missile in Yemen. And it’s just getting worse by the day…… sheep see, the wolves can smell the fear.

            And our Politicians feel certain that the public would support these human rights abuses’ if only they could be told about them…. but they just don’t have a sophisticated knowledge of the issues.

            I got the forged prescription because the FOI Officer thought, as a result of the fraud, that I was the Private Clinic psychologists ‘patient’, and would therefore likely be taking some form of benzodiazepine. My wife encouraged her misunderstanding about me being a ‘patient’ of the psychologist (with a Masters degree no less) and had a meeting with her where they discussed what the FOI Officer required to continue to conspire to pervert the course of justice…… that was proof that I had a ‘treating psychiatrist’ or was a ‘patient’ of the psychologist. That required having me obtain a referral from a G.P. as the psychiatrist who owned the clinic refused to cover her crimes by forging such a referral….. so they tried a number of other avenues, and failed……. hence the need to have me attend the E.D. once I started approaching police with the proof.

            The FOI Officer did try and have me sign another document which would have at least got her off the hook (with a little bit of document “editing” after the fact), but I refused to sign even that.

            Why would I have to sign over my medical records to my wife, for her to provide them to me? Anyone? An explanation of that please? When you think about it, the FOI Officer could then claim that she had done her duty under the FOI Act, and that my wife had been the person who had done the “editing”(ie removed the documents showing the crimes)…seems fair in some ways. I mean she and the psychologist were the ones that dragged the hospital into this torture and kidnapping plot…. and well, she provided as much assistance as she could until she realised I wasn’t your average nut job she usually pushes to suicide with her ‘gaslighting’. This one documented her misconduct all the way along the trail…. and seemed to have a better understanding of the FOI Act (and the Corruption watchdog legislation) than she did.

            But they do like to feign incompetence, given that there were about 26 ‘mistakes’ by the FOI Officer which ALL had a negative effect on my cause of action. Whats the chances? Well, it’s 26 times 25 times 24 times 23 times………… it’s a number too big for my calculator. And then I find out that others have found the same sort of odds when they too had dealing with the same person….. and the State continues to support them? Looks like these ‘mistakes’ might not be ‘mistakes’ after all… especially when it means serious criminal offences and misconduct are going unreported. That’d be a crime.

            So yes, the FOI Officer was aware that the hospital was lying to police to do arbitrary detentions, and she was then concealing the documents showing those human rights abuses from people who made applications for their medical records (especially when they had legal representatives making application). And that was a real problem… how do you ask a lawyer to conspire to pervert the course of justice with you, without putting it in writing? They have a right to examine documents showing human rights abuses to enable the protection of those rights…… but we don’t want them looking at this particular one……. That conspiracy needed to occur at a much higher level…. The Minister and the Principle of the Law Centre…. the hospital exhausted in the crimes they had already engaged in…. the list of offences by this time, particularly long.

            And then we had the attempt to resolve those problems in the E.D. Of course the people doing that were led astray …… thinking the State might actually do their duty and hold someone to account… not realising how corrupt the government they were dealing with actually were. I mean, they weren’t going to allow them to kill me in the E.D….. that’d be a bit much…. but they would cover up the torture, kidnapping, release of medical records (as I said, it’s a long list) for them…. and the attempt to kill? Well, we all make mistakes, don’t be naughty like that without permission from the Minister okay?

            Now, how do we stop Boans from accessing legal representation over these human rights abuses? They were going to need the documents back, and the ‘assistance’ of his ‘legal representatives’ to throw him under a bus. He should think himself lucky we didn’t allow him to be killed first, before ensnaring the psychologist and her psychiatrist husband during their little bit of nasty.

            No wonder they up and ran as soon as I turned up in a Police station with the documents…, and police wanted to know “who else has got the documents?”…. because their gross criminal negligence was on display for all to see.

            Still is, If any of you would like to join the Baghdad Golf and Country Club. The place where it takes real balls to play.

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    • Thank you. It’s extremely heartbreaking to me also because I keep reading other stories and the words they use to describe the physical and emotional things they’re going through because these drugs could be my own words. I read a post and literally do a
      Double take to see if my name is on it-“ wait! did I post that last night and forget? That’s exactly what was happening to me!”

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  4. Thank you for sharing your seriously important story. I am going to find ways to share it on my side of the map and with some contacts on your side. There are many people of influence who just don’t seem to know enough about this despicable abuse going on all around us. I hope and pray that you have or will have access to therapeutic and beautiful moments to soothe and encourage your spirit. I hope that San Diego is a good place for you to be. I could check with a couple contacts out there for more possible resources, if you would like that.

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  5. Lori,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. We are the same age (both of us became victims of the chemical imbalance narrative at a time when there was no counter-narrative).
    I attempted suicide for the first time when I was 19, and have also faced a lifetime of punishment. My family bought into the narrative in which I was the villain (the borderline label was added after ECT at age 38) and I’ve been trying to survive without family, friends, work, medical care, or advocacy. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last. Death doesn’t frighten me. What frightens me is the very real possibility that I will be put in a facility, again, before that happens.
    I’m in a similar situation with social security. I no longer see any “professionals” and if they remove my disability because of that, I don’t know what I’ll do. I also want to die every day.

    It’s almost beyond belief what these “experts” have done and gotten away with (and in many cases they have been treated as saints, and/or victims, by many in society). I don’t believe in God but I do hope there is another life and that they will have to answer for what they’ve done to their fellow human beings.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It couldn’t have been easy.

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    • Thank you for sharing that with me. I really appreciate your comments. I’m so sorry that you and so many others share my story. It’s a national, no worldwide, tragedy. Let’s all turn it around, shall we? I’m tired of being a victim. We are all human. Psychiatry has dehumanized us and isolated us. We do not need to be diagnosed as “other than”, then controlled and isolated from the rest of society by these drugs! We DO have a diagnosis. We DO have a special “condition” It is called the HUMAN CONDITION! Every human has it. We just have it too.
      Please find my on inner compass.com. I’d love to chat with you.

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  6. Lori, You are not alone in being tragically left behind by Psychiatry. My parents didn’t get me the help I needed from a mental health professional for the three years I showed symptoms before I had to be hospitalized when I was 16. The care I received in the hospital was horrendous and left me with problems for the rest of my life. If you’re interested, I’ve written about my own experiences. (See “Memories of a State Hospital” in MAD).

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    • Thank you Michael.
      I read your article. Sounds awful. Very very traumatizing. The mental hospitals now are not much better. However, in the past 10-15 years, they do not keep you there very long. Thank goodness. But only because it’s too expensive. The mental health system, specifically psychiatry was broken then and it is still broken. I think it’s time the psychiatric industry got out of the mental health business. All they do is prescribe pills that have no science behind them but do great bodily harm to people.
      How about we let the other mental health clinicians take over and use compassion to connect with troubled, struggling souls like us on a human to human level. Why can’t we just try that for awhile and see how it goes?

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      • I don’t think it’s broken. I think it serves a different purpose than it pretends to. It does quite well in making money for certain people and keeping other people under control or sufficiently diminished in capacity to not be threatening to the status quo.

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        • Thank you for that keen observation. “Broken” implies it worked well and in the benefit of patients. I strongly agree! I think the psychiatric industry has always been much more about the psychiatrists themselves than about healing their patients. More about exploiting the weak and helpless for accolades and profit. Psychiatry is a business. Just like big pharma. For almost 70 years now, they’ve make cozy bedfellows. A match made in heaven since 1954. Before that, psychiatry was successfully convincing greater society that lobotomy was in the best interest of the mentally ill.
          I vow that it will NOT take another 70 years for our society to see these psych drugs in the same light that we now see lobotomies. People again WILL say,”What barbarism those treatments (psychotropic drugs) were! How could they do that (prescribe drugs) to fellow human beings???”

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      • But it IS consistently based on a “power imbalance” and the exchange of money, something that’s unfair, unnecessary, unhealthy and inappropriate when all it is is talking with someone.

        And psychotherapists are trained in psychiatric ideologies, i.e. “mental illness”, “psychiatric diagnoses”; they’re psychiatrists without a prescription pad which can be even more damaging.

        Either way, it’s all about power, manipulation and money.

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        • The term “psychotherapy” implies illness which indicates medical which leads to the can of worms called “psychiatric diagnoses”. It’s as weaponized as psychiatry.

          On the other hand, the word “counseling” has a much less negative connotation, i.e. legal counsel, pastoral counsel, guidance counsel, parental counsel, etc. And in these situations, people are share knowledge, experience, wisdom and guidance that (hopefully) isn’t biased on pseudoscientific “diagnostic” beliefs.

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  7. Adding psychiatric “medications” to unprocessed trauma is a recipe for disaster like no other. But no one need depend on so-called “mental health professions” for this either. But that’s something few “therapists” have the brains to realize or balls to mention to anyone, especially their so-called “clients”. Most hide behind a useless alphabet of dubious “qualifications”, while lacking the most important one of all: an ability to listen respectfully.

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    • I absolutely agree with your opinion of psychotherapists. They are indeed a huge part of the psychiatric “system” and psychotherapists are definitely NOT the exception to the rule that psychiatry does way more harm than good.

      1. Out of the few times I’ve attempted going “off my meds” in the past 38 years (not including now 2022) it has been one of my many psychotherapists who convinced me to start taking them again (Twice! The other times, they were physically forced in-hospital when I refused)
      2. A part of the reason I stayed in an abusive relationship for 7 years was because my psychotherapist, at the beginning of my abusive relationship, had me convinced that it was a “normal” way to start to any relationship by “fighting” like that—that’s “how to established boundaries “. After a year of describing these “fights” to her each week, I asked one day, “are you sure this is normal??? To which this psychotherapist replied, “ Heavens, NO! Why would you think that? She is abusive! My advice to you is for you to break up with her and find a girlfriend who has even less self-esteem as you, Lori. If that’s even possible!”
      Then a month or so later, she said, “I am really tired of listening to these complaints about your girlfriend, Lori. Until you break up with her, you are no longer allowed to talk about her in my office.”
      But by then I felt so trapped in my abusive relationship, especially with no one to help me figure things out, that I did nothing, kept everything to myself, and was abused everyday for another 6 years.
      By the way, I felt so ashamed of myself, I never mentioned my girlfriend again to her. I did stay with that therapist until she moved away a couple years later. For the life of me, I cannot remember or even imagine what else my therapist and I found to talk about after that, as I wasn’t working and had no other friends. Maybe, I made up things to talk about? Happy experiences I had with my loving girlfriend??? I honestly don’t remember.

      I was abused by psychotherapists and psychiatrists and by my lover. But at least, after we broke up, I didn’t get an invoice in my inbox from my EX!

      It’s been months now since I stopped taking psych medication but every day, every hour, I experience severe painful symptoms, either from physical damage from long term psych drug use or from withdrawal symptoms. (I have doctors appointments every week to address these symptoms and conditions. Mostly, those doctors cannot help, anyway, really. The stress dealing with the regular health care system is a whole other horrible story.—And they also send a bill.)

      When will I ever have to stop paying for their abuse of me????

      So HECK YA! I totally agree, Birdsong!! Totally!!!

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      • “I was abused by psychotherapists and psychiatrists and by my lover. But at least, after we broke up, I didn’t get an invoice in my inbox from my EX!”

        Isn’t that the pits? Can you believe I got the bill for the meeting between my wife and the psychologist when they conspired to have me ‘spiked’, arbitrarily detained and tortured?

        I believe that they are supposed to detail what the services were actually for on the Invoice but…….. lets call it Healthcare.

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        • Oh, and I note that the ‘referral’ from my G.P. to the Private Clinic had expired some time before (ie I was not a ‘patient’)……. so how could I be being provided ‘services’ when there was no mandatory ‘plan’ in place? Especially given the fact that I wasn’t even at the appointment I was expected to pay for….. how on earth could I be receiving the ‘service’?

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          • Mind you, speaking of bills form your lover…… in my situation my wife has used Police and the courts to strip me of everything I ever worked for (and I mean everything including my papers [passport, birth certificate, degrees, history…] ….. including my family who were mine a long time before I even met her.

            Amazing what can be achieved once you get the ball rolling on public sector criminality…. which in the end is extremely valuable information to have.

            P.S. will the edit function be returning to comments Steve?

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          • I was at least glad that the meetings between my wife and her Prof friend about the reasons the clinic psychologist (and her husband) might want me in the E.D. were billed to Medicare.

            Must be nice to charge your criminal plotting and scheming to the taxpayer. No wonder these guys have a different coloured Porsche for each day of the week.

            In the scheme of things though, and given they were plotting to murder me I suppose whining about a few hundred dollars Medicare fraud is a little petty of me.

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      • Thank you, Lori.

        I’m very sorry getting off the psych drugs is causing you so much pain and trouble. It can take a long time for your body to readjust. And it’s even harder when the people who should know something don’t.

        I don’t know what’s worse, the effects of the so-called “medications” or the stupidity of the so-called “therapists”. The whole thing’s a scam, imho.

        Just hang in there as best you can, believing you will get through this.

        Birdsong

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    • No one need rely on “psychotherapists” to process their trauma. People can do a lot on their own, in their own time, in their own way: writing /journaling, reading, listening to people’s experience on podcasts and videos, talking with friends or family members, including animals, engaging in hobbies or creative pursuits, volunteering, and spending as much time as possible in nature.

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  8. Lori,

    Words. What can I say? Others have said your story is important. Your story is not alone.

    Your story should be shared with Americans, with Congress.

    Our stories should be shared with Americans, Congress.

    My story, part of it, is here, too.

    We need federal counts of psychiatric detainment. We need review of laws surrounding Big Pharma, insurance payments and psychiatry, the DSM, the labels, the drugs. All the stuff hiding dangerously behind the lame label: “mental health care.”

    Good luck is not good enough but good luck going forward.

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    • The mental health system isn’t the only crisis I see in this world. It is just part of how the “global predators” in this country and in this world are oppressing regular people. These global predators are extremely powerful, wealthy and dangerous. Dominance and oppression of individual liberty is their goal. They will use every resource they possess to shape the world in the way they want it shaped.
      These predators have created a mess. It is a huge and very daunting mess.
      But the predators are made up of individuals and these individuals are made up of the same basic particles as I am. Everything in the entire universe is made up of the same basic particles. They are human. I am human. Equal. We all have the capacity to create. If the predators created the current state; I can create a different one.
      They lied to me and told me at 17 and reinforced it with their drugs and separation, for 38+ years—Lori you are INCAPABLE.
      I believed them.
      I have woken up from that nightmare.
      Unfortunately I am now in another one.

      But now—I see the truth.

      The truth is—I AM CAPABLE. I am capable of creating the world I WANT.

      I am so dismayed, so heartbroken by humanity and what we have done. But I have HOPE. I DO!

      I am going to share our stories. I will not be deterred.

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        • Gina—I feel your pain. I understand. You know I do. I am outraged at what they’ve done to you. You are absolutely right. Your destruction IS NOT OK!!! It is a horrible awful tragedy. You do not deserve this!!
          You are a beautiful human being. REPEAT:you are a human being. You are not less than the psychiatrists. They may think so, but they are NOT better than you.
          Try to know that. Try to believe in yourself!! I’m thinking of you, Gina. I need you. Please come find me on inner compass initiative. I would love to chat!!! Lori Daniels.

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  9. Hi Lori.

    Does Psychiatry care if they kill and maim? Not one iota. They are criminals that pretend to be doctors.
    It is an agency based on pretenses that they have knowledge of the brain.
    They develop machines that test your beta,alpha and god knows what, but even the highly esteemed neurologist has no clue what it means.
    So guess where EVERY single doc and specialist sends their client? To psychiatry.
    And so do teachers, parents, or anyone that is taught about what is normal.

    No one can fix arthritis, or Strokes, or so many diseases. But at least many can be identified to a degree. Yet even “identifying” them, they still have no fixes and certainly not without bad effects.
    There is absolutely no way to know the brain or mind mechanisms and certainly makes it much more complicated when we have a paradigm of “normal” in the mix.
    If people are bothered in any way by our needs, good old criminal psychiatry is there to pretend to help.
    What has psychiatry done so far? Create untold jobs to take care of the mess and deaths they created.

    I HATE ALL medicine since most use psychiatry to get rid of their overflow of patients.

    There is NO power for the patient except to walk away.

    I’m not sure when governments will act and convict psychiatry of crimes against humanity.

    It wouldn’t need to come to that if psychiatry admitted what a sham racket they run.

    Lori, you have more brain than any shrink could ever wish for. You have GUTS. They know this.
    And I am really sorry that those weak asses did their racket on you.

    Thank you for your GUTS, your insight, your voice. It is a great voice.

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    • Your points are extremely valid, insightful and intelligent!! Thank you for sharing them!!!

      And this that you said—“Lori, you have more brain than any shrink could ever wish for. You have GUTS. They know this.
      And I am really sorry that those weak asses did their racket on you.
      Thank you for your GUTS, your insight, your voice. It is a great voice.”

      Well—That was a really nice thing to say to me. It brought me joy. Thank you very much.

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  10. I was thinking about what your saying about us all being made of the same ‘stuff’;

    The people who;

    Conspired to stupefy and commit an indictable offence, namely kidnapping

    Who put a date rape drug into my drink to stupefy/intoxicate

    Who lied to police and said I was an “Outpatient” of a hospital to procure their assistance in arbitrarily detaining someone they had no right to, and to cause an “acute stress reaction” to effectively torture

    Who planted a knife (and other items) on me when I collapsed for police to find and justify their violence towards me

    Who forged statutory declarations (sworn court testimony) with foresight for others to utter with

    Who neglected their duty of care towards me by not informing me I had been drugged without my knowledge

    Who forged a prescription to allow others to utter and attempt to pervert the course of justice

    Who unlawfully released my confidential medical records from a Private Clinic in breach of the Federal Privacy Act

    Who physically assaulted me in a locked ward because they knew I was outnumbered and had no mean of obtaining help

    Who denied me access to my own medical records (keep in mind these are MINE, and they are simply charged with protecting them) to conceal the offenses committed against me

    Who conspired to have me sign documents to enable them to compound or conceal criminal offences

    Who provided fraudulent documents to legal representatives to conceal these crimes, misconduct and human rights abuses

    Who obtained material assistance from said legal representatives who drafted a letter of complaint to the Chief Psychiatrist and then FORGED a response in his name, handing it back to me and throwing me under a bus for the State.

    Who attempted to have me attend the Emergency Dept and use the cover of the medical system to conceal an “unintended negative outcome”

    Who openly threatened to ‘fuking destroy’ me (and my family), and carried out that threat, for attempting to access the protection of the law

    Who committed acts of gross criminal negligence and dereliction of duty to enable to covering up of arbitrary detention and acts of torture.

    All this and more because?

    The were concerned that I might have the “potential for damage to reputation and meaningful relationships”

    I’d say that in a matter if a few hours these people have done more damage to our healthcare system, our justice system and the whole community for no other reason that their paranoid delusions and a manufactured ‘witch hunt’ caused by two seriously deranged people who got together and decided to use their power (or lack of it) to destroy someone who had rejected them both.

    I had refused to hand over the six figure compensation from my employer to the clinic psychologist for electric shock ‘treatments’, refused to accept the domestic violence of my wife in attempting to plunge a large carving knife into my heart as I lay on a couch in another room [confirmed by her to Police during my interrogation]. I note this was not documented, but the 20 cents damage to a photograph I had done was? ‘Spiking’ not documented on the statutory declaration, but my refusal to answer a question was? (an incriminating question, in front of police pointing weapons at you, drugged without your knowledge,, and denied access to legal representation or medical assistance before doing so? Think about that for a moment….. it subverts every judicial right you have to not self incriminate. Combine that with the ‘verballing’?)

    Take your pick, but I know who, in that narrative, is the danger to our community. And the failure to deal with the truth and the facts by those with a duty to ensure the safety of the community is possibly the biggest danger to us all…. because they move on to the next victim which may or may not be YOUR family.

    And if you stand and accept this sort of thing as being necessary to protect the community from the potentially mentally ill, don’t start complaining when they get bold enough to start ‘snuffing’ people for convenience…. they think your silence is your approval. Implied consent. You didn’t complain, and it’s not our fault if we didn’t provide you with the facts/truth…. that’s up to you to find out. And this is where the negligence of those with a duty is most effective…. like police when presented with the motive for deliberate harm…. “it might be best I don’t know about that”, and get the people who are trying to harm you to come and pick you up. Police handed one back to Jeffrey Dahmer too.

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    • I smile when I think about the man who was handed back to Dahmer by Police, because like ‘mental health services’, he managed to convince police that he was ‘caring’ for the individual who he took home, tortured, killed and then ate.

      I suppose there must be some sort of cognitive dissonance for police when they are dropping “Outpatients” off at the hospital and they seem quite normal, and then in a matter of weeks sometimes, they are being called by families to come and shoot them because they are acting strange (asleep in their beds) and in possession of a knife. Without the drugs provided by mental health…. fairly normal, with the drugs….. nutjobs, window lickers or psychos (the three diagnoses which police have in their DSM It keeps it simple).

      Keep in mind my wife was using police to have me removed from my home (with a bait and switch) when her boyfriend was in town once the slander of “violent mental patient” had been applied….. she was kind of hoping they would kill me at that point, especially as I was trying to have something done about her offending. Police happy to fabricate the evidence to remove me (claiming I was drunk on sworn statements, which is absolutely absurd, but it seems forging for future uttering is highly effective for public officers), and assist in the building of a false narrative. Even using the court system to issue a “Violence Restraining Order” for the two weeks it took her to go through my documents and retrieve the ones the hospital wanted returned before sending the forgeries to the Law Centre. That means of denying me access to my property makes a mockery of the courts. Providing material assistance to corrupt public officers, and criminals.

      And like my wife discussing with the clinic psychologist the possibility of police shooting me as a result of ‘spiking’ me with date rape drugs and planting a weapon on me (their ‘referral’ method discussion), they may wish to roll the dice on their family members …. who will, after all not get the opportunity to explain to the Coroner that the weapon was actually placed on their person to justify police violence towards them for non compliance with instructions from a psychologist with a Masters degree no less. We call such weapons ‘throw downs’ in my State. And we call the date rape drugs your “Regular Medications” once the prescription for them has been forged. Clever of my wife and the psychologist to provide ‘ready mades’ (Marcel Duchamp) for police

      Bang, bang…. “put down the weapon” gets “edited” and becomes “Put down the weapon” bang, bang.

      Shot through the heart
      And you’re to blame
      Darlin’, you give love (and mental health services) a bad name

      The song that went through my head as I walked in front of a truck

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg2TsRSpjyA

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  11. Such a profound narrative. I so admire your courage and capacity to trust yourself going forward in the face of these soul crushing and life destroying institutions. I have a story that has some similarities to yours, but my grandmother passed away 3 years ago and left me a hefty inheritance. As a result I’ve been able to completely extricate myself from all systems of control, from my abusive family to the psychiatric institution. I also see a holistic trauma therapist and functional md to deal with years of abuse, iatrogenic damage, ongoing withdrawal, and untreated health conditions like sleep apnea that were ‘psychiatrized.’ Your story really hammers home something to me that is actually unbelievably devastating and unjust: I think it’s all but impossible to recover an take back your power after being debilitated by these kinds of systems UNLESS you have an enormous financial resource and complete autonomy over it, along with a LOT of luck in finding needle-in-a-haystack practitioners. I have SO MUCH respect for people like you who don’t have the benefit of my luck in this regard. I can’t imagine how you do it. You’re a beautiful courageous soul.

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    • I’m very very glad that you have financial resources. That is awesome!!! I encourage you to use that gift to heal and
      Live life to the Fullest. You deserve that!!! I hope you also spread the word of the injustices in the mental health system. I know that is the path I am taking. I know I am capable of that. We are all beautiful and have so much to offer.

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  12. To all my friends here at MiA, I believe I have completed the ‘puzzle’ I was presented with by ‘mental health services’. I know most don’t bother reading my ramblings, and that’s fine. But I post this comment as one of my last. I hope that you will take the time to read my “beyond a reasonable doubt” claim, and try and prove me wrong. I know this stands up to any scrutiny, and that it may be that others you know have been subjected to these arbitrary detentions by the State.

    I clearly have a tort for negligence, though it is tied up with a large amount of criminal misconduct by public officers (and also shows a motive for trying to harm me in the E.D.), and so the State is denying me a right to effective legal representation. The torture possibly being the motivating factor there.

    Anyway.

    What gave the Community Nurse the right to invade my home with police?

    1. I had NO ‘treating psychiatrist’ so any power to act under the Mental Health Act because I was a “patient” is not present.

    If ‘they’ had a treating psychiatrist’ I have no doubt that they would have named him/her. This would justify basically anything they did to me.

    2. The Private Clinic psychologist being my ‘treating practitioner’ has provided them with a “referral source”?

    Impossible, as she was NOT my psychologist, AND the “Time Limit” set in the Mental Health Act had expired a long time ago.

    The Triage documents have a section to record the “referral source” and someone has entered the word “UNKNOWN”

    3. Police referral under s. 195 Police Powers of the Mental Health Act?

    Definitely not, though this was what the FOI Officer KNEW to conceal immediately when I applied for my documents. They know HOW to get round the protections afforded by the law, and what to conceal when they do.

    The way these arbitrary detentions have been occurring is to create the appearance that Police have been the “referral source”….. I wonder how easy it is for others to see how this ruse works?

    From the documents it is clear that the Community Nurse has called Police and requested assistance with his “Outpatient”, Police have provided a “job number” for his request. The actions of police when they attended my home are completely consistent with them acting as if I was an “Outpatient” who had refused to speak to my Community Nurse (acting on behalf of my ‘treating psychiatrist’ AT THE HOSPITAL).

    The Community Nurse was made aware I had been ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs…. and yet asked no questions at all about my ‘medications’? He did ask about ‘illicit substances’ but would likely have been aware that I would refuse to answer due to the presence of police? So he could justify his ‘ignorance’ of my ‘medications’ by claiming I had refused to answer…….he was prepared to conceal his negligence in that regard.

    But what came out of the hour and a half I spent with the Member of Parliament, showing him the two sets of documents was that he identified what should have occurred.

    Words to the effect of ‘You should have been put in an ambulance, told that they needed to check your health as a direct result of having been given the drugs without your knowledge’….. and NOT thrown into the back of a police van and delivered via the sally port to the waiting team of thugs. What if I had started having epileptic fits in the van and died as a result of the ‘poisoning’? A death in Police custody…… and the Community Nurse off the hook? [putting aside the State sanctioned “editing” of legal narrative, and denial of effective legal representation] And it is here that a tort for negligence is available….. a clear breach of a duty of care.

    The ‘defense’ offered by the Operations Manager after her “formal investigation” was that ‘they’ were trying to save my marriage (an admission that they conspired to pervert I note). It’s a half decent attempt at finding a ‘good faith defense’ (and I have struggled with it, what if it were actually true?) It wasn’t…..

    The reason for not having me taken by ambulance to the hospital was because the Community Nurse was trying to create the false belief in his colleagues at the hospital that I was being delivered as a s. 195 Police Powers referral. Forge a Form 3 Transport Order, and police will now conceal the lack of a lawful referral source, without even knowing they are uttering with the forged document.

    This is the method he has used to conceal his lack of a lawful “referral source”, and thus the start of the conspiring to pervert the course of justice with the Senior Medical Officer.

    There is no other explanation, no other means of me being ‘treated’ in such a manner lawfully.

    So glad to have this written out and detailed to a point of “beyond a reasonable doubt”. This would have been so much easier without the criminal conduct of others, and with access to my documents for my legal representatives……. but they were conspiring to conceal the offending, not expose it. How nice of them to draft a letter of complaint to the Chief Psychiatrist, and then forge the response once they had confirmed I was no longer in possession of the “proof”.?

    Any thoughts? I value your opinions on these legal matters, as you haven’t been trying to throw spanners into the works to cause me psychological problems. Unlike the gaslighters I have been dealing with within my State. How many victims of the Mental Health Law Centre are there, who approached them only to find themselves in the situation Lori describes above years later? And then there are those who died, and ended their own lives…….. your a very sick woman Ms Principle, though also a very wealthy one I note. (“Human Rights Advocate”? That’s a fuking joke your playing on the community, and no doubt one you and the Minister laughed about at times)

    I’m more than happy to admit if I am wrong anywhere, but the Rubics Cube is now complete, and can be turned over to show that fact.

    Thankyou for your time.

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    • The Fuhrerprinzip prescribed the fundamental basis for political authority of the government of National Socilaist Germany. “Der Fuhrer Hat Immer Recht”. The Fuhrers words are above written law.

      “In actual political usage, it refers mainly to the practice of dictatorship within the ranks of a political party itself, and as such, it has become an earmark of political fascism”

      I sit and look at the rewriting of the written law by our Chief Psychiatrist and can not help but be struck by the way his words are seen as being above the written law of this land. A “political fascist” as Chief Psychiatrist?

      What do I mean?

      The law provides a protection from arbitrary detentions by stating that the Authorised Mental Health Practitioner who “suspects on reasonable grounds that a person needs to be made an involuntary patient may refer that person for an examination by a psychiatrist”

      The “reasonable grounds” are set out in the Subdivision1 s. 26 Criteria of “who should be an involuntary patient”. There are basically 4 criteria to be met, for a referral to be considered lawful.

      However, the Chief Psychiatrist writes that

      “The referrer, in this case, a mental health clinician who has undergone
      training as an Authorised Mental Health Practitioner (AMHP), has only to ‘suspect’ on grounds they believe to be reasonable that the person requires an examination by a psychiatrist.”

      “reasonable grounds” burden removed, and person no longer needs to be seen as an “involuntary patient” but simply as needing a nice chat with a doctor. Thus, the criteria are now moot.

      He then goes on to use a known forged document as justification for the referral (falsely believing that police have retrieved the documents showing the context of the forged document, making it impossible to test it with logic and reason using the law), claiming that any proof that the document was forged (ie the referrer could not possibly have observed my thoughts) as being “justifiable explanations”

      This rewriting of the written law, removes the protection of the “reasonable grounds” criteria. We go from an objective legal standard, to a subjective interpretation which removes the protection of the law for the community, and places the power to refer anyone for any reason squarely in the hands of the Authorised Mental Health Practitioner.

      If you ever needed a good example of the Fuhrerprizip, this is it. The legal protections afforded the community in the Mental Health Act are subverted by the Chief Psychiatrist, who is quite clearly a political fascist.

      How dangerous could that be?

      I got to thinking about all this and realised that COVID was our Premiers metaphoric “Night of the Long Knives”…. his political opponents decimated, with only two seats in the Lower House being taken by the Opposition. It looks like the Communist Party of China.

      The motto? “Safe and Strong” Those with a knowledge of National Socialist propaganda would understand. the fear narrative, and the solution of a Great Leader to allay those fears.

      Euthanasia laws anyone? Passed and now looking at ‘tweaking’ them. And done according to Himmler’s diaries I note.

      I feel ashamed that this letter showing such political fascism on the part of our Chief Psychiatrist has been read by many intelligent people, lawyers who would see through the circular reasoning etc….. and yet not a soul prepared to say anything about the implementation of this fascist principle with our Mental Health laws.

      Perhaps they agree with the Chief Psychiatrist that there is a need to be able to arbitrarily detain and force drug/electrocute ‘suspects’ based on the ‘diagnosis’ of a Community Nurse? Perhaps they should enable such ‘treatments’ to be administered whilst police are present and citizens are asked about criminal conduct? Perhaps Police can provide mental health services with th e questions they would like answered during ‘treatments’? As was done to me outside my own front door, after I was snatched from my bed at the point of a police weapon because a Community Nurse wished to interrogate me….. whilst stupefied without my knowledge with date rape drugs (or do they become my “Regular Medications” because of the forged ‘backdated’ prescription?)

      Hands up all those at MiA who think this is okay? And I get it, your not exactly a conservative lot, but there are people here who defend the right of the State to ‘intervene’.

      So my State has regressed to a State of fascism, and the idea that WE value a rule of law is a lie….. a bare faced LIE. We won’t even stand up to those who would openly remove that rule of law, and replace it with the words of a Senior Public Servant who rejects the protections afforded the community by the law.

      Any wonder the police are running people down with motor vehicles and stomping on their heads because they need ‘help’? That police are making ‘referrals’ of victims of State sanctioned acts of torture for ‘treatments’? That public sector misconduct is being resolved by “fuking destroying” people who complain? Targeting their families?

      And think for a moment about what it was that the National Socialist’s actually did with their Fuhrerprizip. Arbitrarily detained and ‘treated’ people for their ‘genetic inferiority’…….. and would that be possible given the above?

      And you stand and watch……

      Once again, thank you for your time.

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      • I mean, at least the National Socialist’s in Germany had a means of ‘scientifically’ identifying the people they wished to take out of the gene pool. These guys in my State are so random they are simply making stuff up at the moment……seriously. Take a look at this Form 1 as to how they are making up ‘mental illnesses’ and the Chief Psychiatrist claims that it doesn’t matter if the person is being burned with cigarettes, what matters are the “observed behaviours”?

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  13. Hi Lori,

    I’m from a rural town born and raised near where you are from. I have yet to sincerely convince myself there is hope in what I had experienced in 20 years of believing in this system that is still doing the murdering and causation of suicide to so many. I wanted you to know that I cried the longest I have let myself cry for what seems like years now reading your story here. Thank you for being human with us now.

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    • I haven’t really cried yet myself. Sometimes I wish I could just cry it all out. I’m having a lot of trouble letting go of my anger about it all. It’s not just over myself. What really pisses me off—they drugged my beloved mother 10 years ago, with two times the highest dose of Lexapro. And I was too fooled to stop them!! She’s now titrating off it because she has osteoporosis. She is so sick with withdrawal, I want to scream.
      It’s one thing when they do it to you. It’s quite another when it’s your family they do it to!!!

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      • I have trouble letting go of my anger as well, which is where I lack hope in a way when it comes to my own story. I recognize the different stages of trauma and how silenced and shaking it is to be ganged up on by these empowered systems. I relate to your anger and say ‘go ahead and scream somewhere. Good you are with your mom going through this now. Nurture her through as you can when you can.

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        • Nothing wrong with anger!! It’s normal. You were wronged! You were terribly HURT! We all have been hurt!! Let the anger fuel you. Fight. Fight for HOPE!!!
          That’s what I will do.
          Thanks about my mom. I’m going to do my best to care for her. She’s precious.

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  14. Hi Lori,
    People see psychiatrists in good faith, expecting to get ‘help’ or at least a tad bit of compassion, but instead get denigrated with labels and punished. So sorry you endured such a long nightmare at the hands of psychiatry.

    When my brother was referred to a psychiatrist for ‘help’ with sadness (re divorce, young sons moving away with ex) I thought surely psychiatrists must have special knowledge to help people with distress, sadness etc. It was perplexing when all he got was a 20 minute appt once a month, drugged and later given ECT. It became alarming when his physical health deteriorated, he lost cognitive abilities and had to quit his job as an electrical engineer. Then one night he died in bed at age 40. His autopsy states poor metabolism and excretion of two drugs led to a chronic accumulation in his liver. His psychiatrist hadn’t even noticed his decline and was actually surprised by his death. That was my first clue as to how negligent psychiatry is. I would later have my own nightmarish encounter with a psychiatrist I saw under the pretense it was for “help with sleep meds” after chemotherapy and steroids caused insomnia. I would further learn how deceitful and totally absurd psychiatry is.
    Thank you for your courage in sharing your story. My heart breaks for you. I hope there may be some way to improve your health and hold these pathetic psychiatrists accountable for all the harm they do.

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    • Thank you Rosalee. Your words are so kind and your compassion touches me. I am very saddened and quite outraged by your personal tragedy at the hands of psychiatrists.
      Your hope for me? Thank you! My plan and my path forward IS for more personal health and it is to hold the psychiatric industry accountable. I plan to do this is by telling my story to as many people as possible, until people stop turning to this institution of predators to solve normal human problems. My plan is to connect with other human beings and put forth love and compassion into the world, creating a world that I want to live in. A world with dignity, respect and equality for all humans. Because we are all the same. We are all different. We are all beautiful!

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  15. It was all very simple in the end.

    My wife and the Private Clinic psychologist have conspired with a Community Nurse to create the appearance that the Community Nurse has obtained a Police Referral to have me delivered to the locked ward of his hospital.

    My wife calls the hospital and tells them she has ‘spiked’ me, and requests an “acute stress reaction”. Tells them that I have been seeing a psychologist and provides a place to call her, at the University counselling service.

    The Community Nurse then calls the psychologist who provides him with the method of deceiving hos colleagues into thinking he has obtained a Police Referral.

    He calls Police and requests assistance with his “Outpatient”, has police cause an “acute stress reaction” to enable the torture of me (combined with the ‘spiking’ = torture by definition), and allow him to forge the Forms to ‘refer for an examination by a psychiatrist’ AND a Police Transport Order.

    The Transport of me by police, rather than having me transported by ambulance as should have occurred with someone who has been poisoned, makes it appear that he has been requested to attend BY the Police, and has done an assessment on their request.

    This is clear in the documents of the next person in the line of ‘mental health professionals’ who abused me that day (though they do have a ‘good faith defense’ available), the Senior Medical Officer.

    It’s criminal…. not a doubt about it. Where is the referral source of the Community Nurse? he didn’t have one, and thus KNEW what he was doing was criminal. excuses? The psychologist said I was her ‘patient’? Gee what a flimsy legal protection our State provides the community from arbitrary detention and torture huh? Someone tricked him, told a lie.

    But it worked, and as a result of my insistence that the matter be looked at, someone had to try and murder me in the E.D. All purely ‘medical’ in nature….. DNR and a ‘hotshot’ containing morphine from an unknown source ( the “sophisticated knowledge of the law” huh?).

    We just have to get Boans into the E.D. before police realise that his complaint is legitimate….. tehe, they already knew, and were letting them run with it (my wife getting suspicious about why the clinic psychologist wanted me in the E.D. after I had gone to Police) …. lets see where they go huh?

    And then the filth of the Mental Health Law Centre drafting a letter of complaint, and the forging a response from the Chief Psychiatrist. Still, like the rest of them, just following orders…. while the victim is …. best we don’t talk too much about how they’re doing those State sanctioned involuntary euthanasia’s. people start making comparisons to those nasty Nazis and shit. And this is nothing like that….. it’s to protect the system.

    Australians value a rule of law? Some of them do….. I truly believe that now. But those who are obstructing justice and attempting to pervert it to protect KNOWN criminals will be standing alongside them when they are delivered into Hell…. because conspiracy to murder can not be concealed as an ‘end of life “care” program’ with a little bit of preparation and “editing”.

    Sure I understand the psychiatrists wife was in a bit of trouble…. would you have someone murdered to protect her from prison? Of course you would, and I mean this is a guy who is torturing people for the State…… so we owe him one or two right?

    His wife takes the Community Nusre through an arbitrary detain and torture, and then he takes the Head of the E.D. through a convenience snuff.

    Yeah, I get it.

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          • I did try Lori. the person who stepped forward to assist me with writing it all up, took a good look……. stated openly “these are human rights abuses”…. had a meeting with a (then) Queens Counsel, and then waved me goodbye.

            A betrayal of the worst order. I made it very clear that documents I had shared with him were to be returned should I ask for them (given that they were “edited” to destroy my character and slander me). No problem, they are here in this envelope in this drawer…… and once the ‘authorities started threatening people……. “What documents?”……

            Serious though, I get it. People are looking out for themselves these days, and if he can obtain a benefit by throwing victims of State sanctioned arbitrary detentions and torture under the bus when they manage to slip through the net and keep the proof of said abuses?

            I just hope he got a good price for the ‘Jew’ that was hiding in the basement.

            I don’t have the ability to put this all together, and I have requested assistance on a number of occasions but ….. maybe there’s a D Notice on the matter? (Order given to people not to publish certain facts because National Security? And arbitrary detention and torture are matters of National Security even if done for a Private Clinic psychologist whose husband is a psychiatrist…. if not, they can “edit” the narrative and make it so)

            Journalists are gutless fks these days anyway. They will publish what they are told to, and the idea of looking and seeing public sector misconduct puts your family at risk.

            But I appreciate the information I have gleaned from this place….. no doubt some people here recognise that what I am alleging may be true…. or I wouldn’t have been contacted and had my trust exploited…… again.

            caveat emptor huh?

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          • Edit function not working again.

            I’m being a little unfair to journalists there really.

            I mean Jamal Kashoggi had some guts….. and they cut his fingers off, threw him into Hydroflouric acid and flushed him down the toilet.

            Seems the same is going to happen to Julian Assange once he is delivered for the predetermined court decision and execution.

            Speaking the truth becomes a crime when the Police are making the laws up…. truth is they just following orders…..

            No complaints from Australia…. we’re ready to “edit” Assange’s paperwork and he will be a Russian citizen.

            Just as Sun Tzu said….. kill two to scare a thousand. And terrorism works a treat for the State ……. a fascist State operating on the Fuhrerprinzip.

            I mean how difficult would it be for them to give me my property and allow me to leave? My passport and birth certificate would be a start……… but that would mean a loss of control of the narrative…… and ‘they’ can’t have that.

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          • I reviewed the Mental Health Assessment of the Senior Medical Officer today.

            Funny how time changes your perception of matters.

            What became very clear was that he thought that the Community Nurse had gone for a “Home Visit” with Police, and had done a referral based on that request by Police.

            Not realising that the Community Nurse had called Police and requested ‘assistance’ with his “Outpatient”.

            (an aside, funny how people use the word “apparently” when they suspect a lie?)

            So the Senior Medical Officer is waiting for an archived file for an “Outpatient” of the hospital? Surely if the person was on “Outpatient” there file would be on hand?

            My “alcohol” and “poor anger control” noted from the old file…….. shame I had given up drinking more than ten years earlier, and well, let me say I was in a position to snap the SMOs neck and have him dead before he hit the floor…… given that I had just been arbitrarily detained and tortured I’d say my anger control was pretty good.

            Not so good when intoxicated…… oh wait I was intoxicated, I was the only one who didn’t know.

            Need proof they arbitrarily detained and tortured me, it’s there.

            What’s much more interesting is how the State is enabling these State sanctioned involuntary euthanasia’s for concealment of public sector misconduct and human rights abuses….. “refouler” I believe the “sophisticated” call it.

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          • Keep in mind that the SMO had expressly been denied the right to touch me, and had ignored my right to not be touched (I had pointed out that he was NOT the psychiatrist, and therefore did not have any right to even be examining me [I had been “referred for an examination by a psychiatrist” by law, and as a “referred person” I had NOT lost my right to consent]) But he had me at what he thought was a disadvantage, and so forced me to remove my clothes’ and assaulted me.

            It’s not like they care about peoples rights, just abuse them and they’ll sort the paperwork out in the FOI Office with their “editing”

            But I’m not one for having Catholic Priests/ Senior Medial Officers getting me into small rooms, forcing me to remove my clothes when they know I have been ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs, and then inserting objects into my mouth or anus when I have every right to refuse my consent, and did so.

            Can I prove that he ejaculated as a result of it? I don’t need to, lets use the same method of reversing the burden of proof…. up to him to prove he didn’t get off on the assault.

            Gee, that doesn’t sound too good when I put it like that…….. blanket statement healthcare of mental patient. A bit like calling child rape a “character flaw”…. as the Church did.

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  16. Hi Lori,

    I’m so sorry about the ordeal you have been through. “It’s normal to be depressed when on your period” – oh my God… It’s absolutely shocking that this kind of misogynistic garbage, coupled with the might of a “medical” specialty that has no basis in science, can derail an entire life, ruin decades of productive time and cause irreparable harm with no benefit. I’m so glad you managed to extricate yourself.

    You write that you’re interested in alternative approaches – FYI, MIA published a compendium of those some time back.
    https://www.madinamerica.com/2015/11/the-making-of-codex-alternus-what-we-can-learn-about-research-on-non-traditional-psychiatric-treatments/

    This is the list of treatments: https://www.alternativementalhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Depression2014-07-23.pdf

    These are for psychological problems of course – however you don’t really have a psychological problem, you have a neurological problem based on harm caused by drugs.

    I have about 15 years’ experience with alternative therapies and when you ask, “these practitioners have never even heard the term akathisia. However, they will enthusiastically believe the psychiatric drugs caused brain damage and will take money to treat it. Should I trust them?”, in my view the answer is– NO !! Don’t trust anyone who openly states (or clearly shows) that they have no understanding of the condition that’s affecting you. It’s grandiose and unprofessional. (Not unlike psychiatry.) You’re better off treating yourself. You have been badly let down by doctors (to put it mildly), you are your own doctor now. So always remember the Hippocratic Oath, ‘First, do no harm’.

    I thnk that the CAM field is approximately 95% quacks and mountebanks and 5% gold, and it can be very difficult to tell them apart. Someone mentioned ‘needle in a haystack’ above, that describes it very well.

    That said, there are a lot of great techniques that you can do by yourself and that are entirely free, e.g. yoga (there are 1000’s of classes on Youtube, from yin to restorative to power yoga) or Emotional Freedom Techniques. There’s the Healing Codes by A. Lloyd which is similar to EFT and which you can get from his book. I guess nothing is 100% safe but these are gentle interventions that can be stopped at any time.

    Also, in my view the foundation for any kind of self-healing is establishing a meditation practice. You have to learn to get still and observe your thoughts and feelings, and tolerate the emergence of strong emotions or traumatic activations of the nervous system without reacting to it or getting engulfed. There are lots of free programs online, e.g. listed on Meetup or just by Googling, and in a major city like SD I’m sure there are in-person programs too. I don’t know if this would work for you of course but the important thing is to keep trying and follow the breadcrumbs until you find an approach that does work for you.

    When I read your story and your comments on this page you don’t strike me as brain-damaged or cognitively impaired at all. The human body and brain have immense self-healing powers. All is not lost. Best of luck to you.

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  17. I’d like to return to the comment I made above about being ‘sold out’ like the ‘Jew’ hiding in the basement.

    The process was that I was arbitrarily detained and tortured by the State, and they were aware that the documents produced (and forged for uttering with should there be any problems) actually proved what I am alleging.

    I obtained redacted version of those documents, but there was enough there to show that I had been made into an “Outpatient” to procure the services of police to cause an “acute stress reaction”, and to combine this with the ‘spiking’ with date rape drugs to enable acts of torture to occur.

    A problem for the people who conspired to have this occur, that is my wife and the Private Clinic psychologist……

    Boans now has these documents and is going to the Police, who are of the false belief that he is an “Outpatient” as a direct result of the lies they have been told by the Community Nurse. They are asked to NOT take the documented proof while the ‘hospital’ sorts out their little issue with the facts/truth being available to anyone who looked.

    Boans has also approached the Law Centre, but they have an ‘agreement’ with the State to not take documents from their ‘clients’, and to wait while the State “edits” the legal narrative. That way they can ensure that the ‘outcome’ is the one preferred by the State, and can use their position of trust to throw their ‘clients’ under a bus once it has been established they no longer have the proof of the State sanctioned torture and arbitrary detentions.

    So, whilst the State is concealing the original arbitrary detention and torture, they are also concealing what it was the Private Clinic psychologist and her psychiatrist husband were trying to do about the issue of me going to police….. that is, attempt to have me murdered in the E.D.

    The plot was, as I have said, rudely interrupted, and after that the ‘hold’ placed on retrieving the documents and fulfilling the FOI requirements by sending the Law Centre the fraudulent set with the “edited” legal narrative then moved forward.

    Boans no longer had the documents to prove he was arbitrarily detained and tortured, and any claim he makes about the attempt to murder him sounds insane. “They wouldn’t do that”

    Police are now gaslighting him by doing such things as catching him in isolated places and threatening to execute him, threatening his family, and ensuring that everything he says sounds like the madness he was tortured into confessing to…. or ‘verballed’ into to be completely accurate.

    So two years pass, …… and after coming out of hospital after walking in front of a truck, Boans goes back to where he left off with the Law Centre. That is, they were drafting a complaint for the Chief Psychiatrist for me. Now consider carefully here, I still have the documents the hospital thought had been retrieved by my wife (under threat), but I was told by the Law Centre they already had the documents (though in “edited” form). So why would they need the documents I had, they had been provided to the Law Centre two days after I have been evicted from my home by police (4 months after the Law Centre had made a request for them). So I didn’t need to tell them I still had the documents proving the arbitrary detention and torture, I thought they had them.

    So they draft the complaint to the Chief Psychiatrist, and feeling certain that I no longer had the proof of the misconduct, they then forge the response to their own complaint, attach a cover letter and claim they can no longer provide me with any assistance….. but here’s a copy of the letter of response from the Chief Psychiatrist which we haven’t had time to read. Which was lucky, because he is rewriting the law to remove the protections he is charged with enforcing under the Mental Health Act and uttering with KNOWN forged documents, in writing.

    Not that it mattered, Boans minus the proof of the arbitrary detention and torture is sounding completely insane. What? They’re killing people in the E.D. and it was only because a friend of your wife interrupted that your alive? So my divorce lawyer listens to what I have to say, and eventually I place the documented proof on the desk……ever seen a Great White shark when you put a bucket of blood in the water? “I thought you were mad,……. but you’ve got the proof”. That’s right, removing the documented proof of the ‘spiking’ with date rape drugs turns the truth into a paranoid delusion………. I wonder if the State knows this guy is wandering around to lawyers with these documents?

    Not only to lawyers but a whole bunch of other people including Members of Parliament….. it was a long list. And of course one of the last groups on that list were the Police…. who still had me ‘flagged’ for an automatic referral to mental health services to have me ‘treated’ for speaking the truth.

    So I put the documents on the desk at the Police Station, and they call mental health and ask them to come get their ‘patient’ who is “hallucinating” in their station (I had a Social Worker with me as witness/support person). They are put through to a psychologist I had been speaking to for more than a year… and he refuses their ‘referral’ based on speaking to me over the phone, and knowing that I had been ‘spiked’ with date rape drugs as a result of seeing the documents.

    To cut a long story short, this was NOT what the Police wanted to occur…… that is, me turning up with the proof of these offences….. and so they had to play ‘lets pretend’ with the nutjob (Me), and ensure that they didn’t get their fingerprints on the documents….. because they had refused before and I nearly got killed as a direct result of the window of opportunity they left for the criminals ….. I mean mental health professionals. The Social Worker and psychologist needed to be threatened because they had seen the documents AND that police were doing referrals of victims of State sanctioned torture to mental health for ‘treatments’…. and they have families too. Which was why I parted company with the psychologist when he made it clear he was trying to find out “who else has the documents?” during our ‘sessions’ for Police…. eventually explaining that he was afraid for the safety of his family, and he could no longer ‘help’ me.

    So the bucket was not only leaking water by this time, it was falling apart. Especially as a result of me speaking to someone I had been contacted through here. As explained I had provided the documents to this person, with an agreement that they would be returned, no questions asked, should I request them to be returned.

    So now I have the proof of the original arbitrary detention, the attempt to murder me AND the subsequent cover up by the Law Centre…. the forged letter of response from the Chief Psychiatrist. With the redacted documents the hospital thought had been returned befoe distributing the fraudulent set, the letter from the C.P. is easily deconstructed and he has clearly committed an offense (a number of offenses when you dig a little deeper, but no lawyers are going to look right? I’ve been ‘flagged’ for ‘treatment’ by police, and they will “fuking do your family” should you dare assist this victim we are “fuking destroying” for our brothers and sisters at mental health…. who are dropping a few for us when we have a little problem with corruption being exposed. Anyway, the evidence/proof of that is all there for anyone with access to their system to see.

    But the point I was trying to make was that I was like a ‘Jew’ hiding in a basement WITH PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE INSIDE OF AUSCHWITZ…… and the person who claimed they were going to help’ me, has simply contacted the ‘authorities’ and put me in.

    The opportunity has been missed to do anything about what they have been doing…… the proof exists, but your going to have to ask the Nazis for it. And well, I think that means your family is at risk too.

    I get it, I mean they have slandered me and subjected me to the most disgraceful conduct, threatened my family and friends, and maintain lies in the face of truth. ‘They’ couldn’t possibly have me see my family, because they went to a whole lot of trouble to ensure we didn’t get together and understand what and why they were tearing us apart with their lies and forgeries. Imagine if my family realised WHY I was acting the way I was……that I had been tortured, and was being subjected to mock executions, and threats to rape my grand children, and it wasn’t the chemicals in my brain or just my “observed behaviours”…. there were “justifiable explanations” but they were being concealed.

    So yes, I have the proof of the arbitrary detention and torture, but the ‘authorities’ simply don’t care…. they have the power to ignore your complaint should you actually ‘break through’ their vicious cover up methods. That proof opens up the question of my allegations about what occurred in the E.D, the attempt to murder me……. but as the Police said “It might be best I don’t know about that”. Okay Senior Constable, then who should I inform? And please don’t say the Corruption Watchdog, care to see their letters regarding their early involvement? Hardly worthy of confidence, or leading to a belief in integrity. Let them sort ot out among themselves seems to be the attitude, knowing who has the ‘resources’ to deal with the ‘complainant’.

    I say opportunity missed, not really…… just the people who did see the pictures from inside Auschwitz had better keep their mouths shut for now…. until they can make themselves out to be heroes when the danger has passed….. and benefitting from putting the ‘Jews’ they find in to the authorities, and ensuring that no more slip through the cracks.

    How many others were dropped off by police for ‘end of life “care”‘ in the E.D. for having documented proof of public sector misconduct? How many other arbitrary detentions are being done by these Community Nurses acting for organised criminals? Torturing citizens into confessions in front of police? Concealing the ‘spiking’ of citizens with date rape drugs with forged and uttered documents? And has the Chief Psychiatrist realised that his grandiose delusions that he has a right to change the law without Parliamentary approval makes him a “danger to self or other”?

    So yes, I do hope the Prof got a good price for the ‘Jew’ he found hiding in the basement with the proof of what’s going on ‘over the fence’. Maybe they can drop off the gold teeth taken from my mouth as I am being ‘processed’ and you can keep them with the documents you claim to no longer have. Still, your not the first, and no doubt won’t be the last person to exploit the trust of vulnerable people.

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    • P.S. and don’t worry, I realise that the mock executions and threats to rape are just police methods of coercion.

      The example of where a young man caught a Police officer on camera threatening to have him raped in the cells for not wearing a bicycle helmet was put down to a “Poor choice of words” by the Police Commissioner.

      I guess he was meaning that the Officer concerned wasn’t really making the punishment fit the crime?

      These ‘coercive methods’ are quite effective though. I know it got my heart pumping and my mind ready to meet my maker when I thought they were going to shoot me and dump my body in the bush.

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  18. You know, I’ve had to think carefully about what occurred in the E.D. to truly understand it.

    I mean, what if the ending of peoples lives for convenience is actually lawful given the sort of rules that apply in an ‘Emergency’? Maybe, like psychiatry, they can do damage to people and call it medicine, and you can’t prove otherwise because you can’t prove the motive to do harm without a confession….. a confession which the perpetrator KNOWS is what would allow the matter to move forward?

    This was what occurred with the Doctor who went to Police and confessed to killing a terminal patient of hers. The Head of the AMA then speaking about the “sophisticated knowledge of the law” with regards the ending of life. It’s not really that sophisticated….. it’s just shut your mouth, and whilst they may have the means and opportunity, the motive can not be proven as the doctor patient relationship assumes a good faith….. confessing to having the motive provides what is needed for a prosecution to move forward.

    Similar with the U.N. stating that Australias Mental Health Law ARE a violation of human rights and that the treatments MAY constitute torture. The human rights violations obvious to anyone who lives here,….. snatched from your bed based on a ‘suspicion’ (forget the need for “reasonable grounds”, a legal protection afforded by the written law) and the laws protecting you are simply ignored. ut the torture? MAY constitute torture? This is because one would need a confession from a doctor that they INTENDED to use the ‘medication’ or electricity as a means to torture……minus that confession, the best the U.N. can say is MAY. And all doctor has to do is deny, and good faith will be assumed.

    But, back to the E.D…….. if it were the case that they could simply end peoples lives for the convenience of the State (ie whistleblowers) then the doctor would not have needed to ‘harvest’ the morphine for the ‘job’ from another patient. It would be supplied by the State as part of his work.

    Oh, and I realised why I was placed alongside the ‘patient’ who the morphine was harvested from….. it was much easier to keep an eye on us both with one camera. Two cameras would increase the likelihood of a mistake occurring.

    So the morphine is ‘harvested’ and the books for that product being used in the E.D. balance. The guy with the bad back who slipped in the shower, and who was a large consumer of oxycodone was still in a lot of pain after being administered a lot of morphine (mainly because it wasn’t morphine).

    Simply a matter of having the victim take a lot of benzodiazepines orally, and then ‘bait’ them into a need to restrain and inject them with some more of that product AND the ‘harvested’ morphine. Do Not Resuscitate document at the end of the bed, disappears once the ‘patient’ has been “unintentionally negatively outcomed” (is this even really necessary?), and the little problem is delivered to the morgue.

    The matter would stall if the Coroner investigated because the doctor would simply have to deny any knowledge of where the morphine came from…. the injection with a ‘chemical restraint’ as a result of the ‘baiting’ MAY be the source…. but ya can’t prove it.

    And if you can’t prove it…….. you’ve got nothing.

    So I’m of the opinion that this could not be concealed lawfully. The need to conceal the source of the morphine to stall any investigation by the Coroner demonstrates that fact. With or without the disposal of the DNR order. I could have shown them on the video, but the delays and stalling by police etc meant ….. sorry too late.

    Mind you, the same is true of the Community Nurses crimes, but he is still working in the same place more than ten years later…. despite it being known he is a person prepared to torture not only the ‘patients’ but anyone else he is requested to subject to such vile behaviour. I guess they must really be short of nurses….. and probably wonder why they are short of people, when you would be working alongside such disgraceful specimens of human beings.

    So the need to conceal demonstrates mens rea, and the reason for placing me alongside the patient who the morphine was harvested from was for convenience of observation. Two ‘birds’, one ‘stone’. My wife still tagging along at that point, whilst the preparations for the final scene were being made.

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  19. Lori I wanted to let you know that I.C.E. informed me today that I am no longer a member. This follows after I defended you against the “all knowing” Cooper Davis who seems to be the person who dictates content on I.C.E. Frankly, I question his integrity. That being said, know that I found so many of your postings to be awesome.

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    • OMG!! Seriously???? That’s outrageous that he would ask you to leave. He shouldn’t have done that!!!
      I don’t understand. Really??? I didn’t even know Cooper had a problem with me. Please lmk what happened! I need to address this!
      Gchat me? Look for Lori Daniels

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      • Cooper Davis did not personally ask me to leave I.C.E. I was simply informed that I was “removed from the network” and no longer a member the day after I indirectly defended you by saying your advice to another member was excellent, refuting Cooper’s assertion to you that you were giving horrible advice. Please explain how to Gchat so we can communicate further.

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        • Go to the place you get the apps for your smartphone. Search for google chat. Then download that. Then in the box at the top it will say—Search in chat.
          Press in that, and type Lori daniels. My email address will pop up. Press that. Then type your message to me.

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          • Let’s skip Gchat and just use this forum to communicate. I read your story and I am so sorry for all the suffering you have endured from the psychiatric world. I can tell you are a kind and compassionate person who desires to educate people on the dangers of these psych drugs. As for I.C.I., I am actually glad I have been banned from the site. I wasted so much time seeking information on that site that was nowhere to be found. Also, I know now they aren’t against the use of psych drugs, only against not informing people of the dangers of taking them. Well who in their right mind would take any of these drugs knowing all the dangers? I would say no one!

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  20. Thank you Bernadette. I am wanting to leave ICI myself. I’ve been warned three times now about being kicked out, for speaking with hatred and intolerance. I made some general negative statements about doctors because they almost killed myself, my mom and another ICI member’s son.
    I never said I hated anyone. But I guess I am intolerant when it comes to people endangering the lives of my loved ones and people in general.
    The only reason I haven’t left yet, is because I’ve come to really care about the members there. It’s the administration I do not get along with.
    I agree, who in their right mind would not be anti psych drugs. The only reason I can think of is that they’re being super careful so they aren’t sued or shit down by the powers that be. But it would be nice if they would just admit that.

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    • They have suspended me. I don’t really know why. I just got a form letter that said it was for many reasons. I am glad.according to their guidelines the are not anti-drug and not anti-doctor. I am anti drug and I do not like MDs. So I am not in alignment with ICI. I don’t want to be in a place like that anyway.

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      • Cooper Davis is pretentious and arrogant. I don’t think he’s aware of how obvious he makes it that he’s not really against psychiatry. He actually quoted Sigmund Freud in an attempt to support his belief that people withdrawing from psych meds exaggerate their symptoms! As for Laura Delano, she proceeded to admonish me for stating a member was displaying a character flaw for feeling anger and bitterness toward everyone who is happy and not suffering from withdrawal. According to Laura Delano, it’s not abnormal to have such feelings in withdrawal. So, it’s interesting how they try and accuse you of being hateful simply because you have expressed anger at the psychiatric world. I think they are hypocrites.

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